50th Anniversary Viewing (Part 1)
The Six Million Dollar Man
"The White Lightning War"
Originally aired November 23, 1975
Edited Wiki said:
The death of a federal agent investigating a Georgia moonshine operation leads Steve to discover a trail of corruption that starts with a distillery owner, goes through the local sheriff, and ends with a powerful Washington lawyer.
Deliverance-flavored music introduces us to Morgantown, Georgia, where local bigwig Bo Willis (Ben Hammer) inspects the "turpentine" at his refinery, accompanied by Sheriff Weems (Hugh Gillin). An all-purpose underling named Kermit (You knew Robert Donner was gonna be in this episode, right?) informs him that Ted Sullivan, discovered to be a treasury agent, was just killed by "snakebite". Sullivan was, of course, a childhood friend of Steve's, so he wants to investigate Ted's suspicious death personally.
Steve assumes an unusually heavy disguise--a full beard and an off-and-on pair of shades; while Oscar's out in the field as usual, stationed in Atlanta. Driving into town, Steve finds that Willis owns most of the local businesses; though general store proprietor Middy (Katherine Helmond) takes exception to Steve asking about that, insisting that it's her place all the same. Steve runs into Kermit there, who immediately goes into "get out of town" mode, so Steve gets a little bionic-rough with him to find Willis. Steve proceeds to a local pool place and asks the "bartender," Johnny (Randy Kirby), about the titular spirits, though he's informed that it's a dry county. Willis comes out and Steve, posing as an operator with his own organization, propositions Willis about a partnership. He subsequently has to bionically fend off Kermit and other goons, following which the sheriff trumps up charges against him, which includes planting a gun.
Middy drops by Steve's cell to sell him sandwiches that she informs him are marked up so that Willis gets a cut. Suspecting that he's the law, she tries to warn him off, and tells him of how, after her husband died from a snakebite accident, Willis claimed legal ownership of her place. When he's unattended, Steve bionic-bar-bends his way out of his cell to make a call to Oscar, then leaves to pull some jobs on behalf of his "gang".
Steve heads to a local still, knocks out the operator without being seen, and bionic-busts the place up. He proceeds in the direction of a car that had just made a pickup, to find Johnny making a siphoning rendezvous with a gasoline truck driven by Kermit, who inserts cylinders into the tank hatches that he fills with gas. When Johnny stays behind to fish nearby, Steve topples over his car and runs off without being seen. Steve proceeds to catch up with the tanker truck, getting on top and busting the cylinders so the gas gets into the moonshine, without Kermit ever knowing he was there. When Kermit makes his delivery to a gas station run by our old WWW pal Red West, the merchandise is found to be mixed, and Kermit finds the busted cylinders. (An IMDb contributor asserts that a couple of gallons of gas wouldn't be enough to have a dramatic effect on a tank full of moonshine.) Steve then returns to his cell and bends the bars back into place, pretending to have been cooling his heels with his sandwiches the entire time.
Willis is furious over the missed payment to his contact further up the chain, Washington insider Charles Quinten (Austin Stoker), who now wants to fly down and make an inspection. Assuming as intended that this is the work of Steve's gang, Willis orders the head of the snake to be cut off. The sheriff releases Steve in the middle of the night, and Steve spots Kermit waiting in the dark with a rifle, so he grabs the sheriff's gun and uses him as a human shield, ultimately pushing one into the other and disposing of their weapons (driving Kermit's rifle into the ground). Quinten arrives via Lear jet to lean on Willis at his estate. Steve pays a call on Middy and outs himself as a colleague of Sullivans to ask her for more details. She tells Steve of how her husband, Gordie, was Sullivan's contact, and indicates that she now fears for her son who's away at college. She also tells him of the well-dressed stranger who just arrived in town, so Steve pays Quinten a visit at the hotel. Mr. Q entertains Steve's offer to do business if Steve takes over Willis's operation; but the Sheriff and Willis's minions catch Steve making a call to Oscar from Middy's and take him prisoner, while threatening Middy via her son.
The sheriff and Kermit take Steve to the woods, where he lets them push him into a hole with rattlesnakes in it, which bite his legs. They then send him running into the woods, expecting it to help the poison do its work. Steve beats them to Kermit's car, sitting in the back and bionic-shaking some rocks to make them think he has a rattlesnake with him, forcing them to drive him to the refinery. He then bionic-bends a rollbar around their necks to keep them out of the way. Oscar comes to town with backup to ask openly about Steve, and Middy offers to help. Meanwhile, Willis takes Quinten to the refinery, where Steve runs roughshod over Johnny and other workers before busting the place up. Willis and Quinten arrive to find the place in shambles, and Quinten agrees to do business with Steve, too easily handing over paperwork that gives schedules and point of delivery...just as Oscar, who recognize Quinten from the Justice Department, arrives and is handed the evidence. Learning of Middy's involvement, Steve gives her a thankful hug.
In the coda, Steve puts up a new sign reasserting Middy's ownership of the store, and we're told that locals are coming forward to testify against Willis.
All in the Family
"The Little Atheist"
Originally aired November 24, 1975
Edited Tubi said:
Thanksgiving dinner becomes a battleground when Archie discovers that Mike and Gloria don't want to impose the family's religious beliefs on their baby.
Archie's setting himself up by being in a good mood as he gets ready to go to the Stivics' for Thanksgiving dinner; though he wants to dress casually while Edith insists that he wear a suit, and she further annoys him by trying to enlist his help in picking out a dress. Meanwhile, Gloria's preparing the dinner while imitating Lily Tomlin's Edith Ann character. (It's been so long that I had to look that up.) The Bunkers arrive with desserts and family heirloom silver candlesticks to find Mike listening for the baby, and Archie gets the wrong idea.
Mike: Hey, the two of you look terrific! Gee, you didn't have to get all dressed up, Arch!
Archie: Yes I did, she forced me!
Over appetizers, Edith talks about all of the things she'd like to do with the baby, still referring to it as a she. When she brings up taking the baby to church, Mike corrects her, telling her that she's welcome to take the baby to the park on Sundays. Archie reacts predictably as the kids explain how they want their child to make up his own mind about religion. Archie goes into a list of all the things that his grandchild should be taught.
Mike: Arch, I think you're forgettin' to teach him the most important thing!
Archie: Yeah, what?
Mike: To never listen to his grandfather.
A discussion of where the baby originated gets into a tangent about the baby potentially being Jewish, based on the friends whose house Mike and Gloria were borrowing at the time. Archie then focuses the discussion on God's wrath, which culminates with Mike, who believes God would be forgiving, irreverently blowing God raspberries, scaring Archie into insisting that the Bunkers leave lest Edith be turned into a pillow of salt.
Mike is persuaded to apologize to Archie on the phone by a fake Gloria cry.
Gloria (to Mike): You know the three subjects you should never discuss with him: religion, politics, or anything else.
Gloria arranges a signal for Mike to get him to shut up by tugging on his ear, which she says that Edith uses with Archie--if that's the case, you'd think we'd have had plentiful opportunity to see that by now. Irene arrives with a bottle of good wine ahead of the Bunkers' return (Betty Garrett's penultimate appearance). Gloria brings out the bird, and everyone helps themselves smorgasbord-style. When Gloria presents her homemade cranberry sauce, Archie reflects
Ex-Mrs. Mixer's preference.
Archie: You ain't got none o' the real kind that slides outta the can?
Archie makes a comment about Mike's appetite that threatens to get Mike going, so Gloria uses the ear-tug. Everyone sits down to a pair of mismatched tables--Archie taking Mike's spot at the head of the table arrangement. The guys start to get into it when Archie insists on saying grace, motivating both wives to tug to their husbands' ears. Archie pulls out his reading glasses and a pocket Bible that literally saved his butt from a piece of shrapnel in WWII and reads a line from Romans asserting that doubters will be damned. Mike finally has enough and stands up to Archie, both on the subject of having religion forced on his child and another matter...
Mike: I've been waitin' five years to tell you this--Get outta my chair!
Archie tries to storm out but Gloria blocks the door. The foremost barrier to his exit being his unborn grandchild causes him to relent and swap seats with Mike. When Archie asserts that everyone else agrees with him about the child being raised with religion, Mike asks for a show of hands, and everyone else sides with Mike. After mangling the names of several religions, Archie gets up to walk out through the back this time, but Edith follows him to the kitchen and reasons with him that the matter isn't in their hands. Archie brings himself around by resolving that he and Edith will sneak the child to church every Sunday.
M*A*S*H
"Soldier of the Month"
Originally aired November 28, 1975
Wiki said:
Potter announces a Soldier of the Month contest, which Klinger tries to cheat to win, while Frank gets delirious from Hemorrhagic Fever.
Potter holds a mess meeting with the senior staff, discussing a recent mysterious fever outbreak. Hawkeye sardonically nominates Burns to be in charge of controlling the rats who are believed to be indirectly spreading the disease through fleas and mites. Potter then announces the contest, which is for enlisted men and offers the reward of six days in Tokyo, and appoints Burns as the judge. Mulcahy returns from Seoul with intel from the Japanese identifying the outbreak as hemorrhagic fever. As Frank immerses himself in his extra duties, everyone comments that he's not looking well. Klinger initially attempts to assist him while fully uniformed. When Frank tries to come up with innovative rat traps, the guys point out that killing the rats will just spread the fleas and mites. Frank protests that he's been handling the dead rats, but undermines his intended point by falling unconscious.
Frank ends up delirious in the ward, while Klinger burgles the colonel's office by night for the contest's exam answers, later writing them on his body. Hawkeye and B.J. irreverently judge the contest in Frank's place, the final contestants who take the verbal quiz being Sgt. Zale, Radar, Klinger, and Igor Straminsky. Klinger's thrown off because the questions aren't being read in order, and his protests cause Radar to notice that he's cheating. Back in the ward, at Houlihan's encouragement, Frank dictates a will to Mulcahy, but he only leaves Margaret his clothes. Radar wins the contest and departs for Tokyo in formal uniform. His temperature back to normal, Frank hits the latrine for the first time in days, and comes out his old self, dressing down a passing Pvt. Straminksy. Margaret takes Frank aside and slugs him on the chin over the will.
In the coda, an MP returns a drunk and disheveled Radar to Potter's office and hands the colonel a list of charges.
Hawaii Five-O
"Honor Is an Unmarked Grave"
Originally aired November 28, 1975
Paramount+ said:
A writer who specializes in solving mysteries uncovers the body in a seven year old case, but it raises more questions than it answers.
In the third of six episodes directed by Jack Lord, writer Travis Marshall (James Olson) has a pair of workers dig up an unmarked plot on the grounds of a Japanese cemetery, and finds what he was looking for--human remains. He also has a photographer and a reporter (Bob Sevey as Bob Simpson) on hand, to whom he claims that he's unearthed heir Brian Henderson, who disappeared seven years prior; and attributes his find to painstaking research. A woman who lives across the street (Pat Herman), and has had her eye on his suspicious activities at the cemetery prior to this, sics HPD on him, who arrest him for desecrating a burial ground, as he was denied a permit to dig. Quickly making bail, Marshall milks the moment for more publicity, alleging that the police have been after him since he wrote a book exposing their inefficiency, and calling out Five-O by name.
Marshall subsequently pays a visit to the estate of Brian's grandmother, Agatha Henderson (Eileen Heckart), to strike up a deal for him to solve the case. Henderson seems shrewd and guarded, while her burly servant, Kono (Moe Keale, not Zulu), eavesdrops on their conversation with concern. Five-O's expositional research on the Hendersons includes that Agatha's husband, Thomas, died three years prior; and identifies a former servant named Koji (David Hashimoto). McGarrett pays a call on Henderson, who confesses that an anonymous phone call put him on the trail that led to the gravesite. McGarrett offers to not press obstruction of justice charges if Henderson cooperates with Five-O in his investigation. Henderson suggests that McGarrett doesn't want him upstaging Five-O.
McGarrett: Writers never make me insecure, Mr. Marshall. So many good books have been written in prison.
Doc Bergman subsequently confirms the identity of the remains, and that the cause of death was a .22 in the cranium. McGarrett pays his own call on Agatha Henderson, questioning her about who might have murdered Brian and learning that she's hired Marshall. While Danno and Chin are working the cemetery side...
Danno: Why does Travis Marshall come out here shooting pictures?
Chin: Well, maybe he digs graves.
[Laughter]
...Koji walks up to the dug-up plot and solemnly pays his respects.
Mrs. H pays a visit to a young woman named Maru (Elissa Hoopai), who's married to Paul Kanahele (Jerry Waialae) and has a young son not his named Kimo (Stanley Puchalski), whom we quickly get the drift was Brian's, which Maru had always suspected has something to do with Brian's disappearance. Mrs. H implores her not to tell Five-O anything. Afterward, Marshall shakes Duke's tail to make a rendezvous with Paul, who brings him many photos of Kimo, and informs him that Maru was previously married to a George Fowler, but got an annulment. Marshall makes the Kimo/Brian connection and expresses his certainty that it's the reason Brian was murdered.
Chin finds Mrs. H attending a funeral for Koji (who's determined to have died of natural causes), and chats up Koji's son, Shiru (Bernie Ching), while taking an interest that Koji had a young daughter who'd be about 22 now but isn't attending. Marshall confronts Mrs. H with pictures of Kimo, and that Koji's daughter, Maru, who was 15 at the time, was four months pregnant when Brian disappeared. He describes to her how it was Koji's visits to the unmarked grave that turned him on to the location of the body, and speculates that the Hendersons were planning a disappearance for Brian, which somebody took exception to. Mrs. H writes Marshall a check--for his travel mileage, while encouraging him to report his findings to the proper authorities. Catching wind that Marshall's planning a press conference, McGarrett presses him for the identity of his informant, and he tries to claim lawyer/client privilege on the basis that he has an unused law degree, but it doesn't wash with Steve.
Marshall's subsequently horrified to find his office ransacked, and a hand appears through a door to shoot him dead. As the crime scene is investigated, Five-O finds pictures of Kimo and Maru, so they visit the Kanaheles. While Maru seems guileless, Paul tries to escape on a motorcycle, but takes a tumble and is apprehended. He admits that he was the informant and that he went to Marshall's place to collect money and found him dead. When Maru accuses him of selling her out, he confronts her with the phony marriage record, meant to hide Kimo's true father.
McGarrett pays another call on Mrs. H, whom he persuades to talk. She tells of how Koji was like a father to Brian, and asserts that Brian raped Maru. She then goes into a narrated, black-and-white flashback of her husband confronting Brian in another room and a gunshot that she never asked about. McGarrett asserts that while Marshall believed that Koji had killed Brian, it was actually Thomas Henderson, which Koji and Mrs. H knew but kept silent. He then accuses her of having killed Marshall to prevent him from exposing the truth. She proceeds to calmy call her lawyer in front of him.
Agatha: George, this is Agatha. I'd like you to handle a criminal complaint for me. The defendant? I believe I will be. [Pause.] What is the charge, Mr. McGarrett?
Steve: Murder in the first degree.
Agatha: It's murder, in the first degree.
Steve (exiting): Sorry.
Good point. She might think he was dead or something. Although she was aware of the Elders, so maybe she knows he has an alternate identity.
That's the big question--How much does she know? Mentor had to be clued in about her identity. Can she contact the elders?
Isn't that the one with Doctor Spock?
Something like that, it seems.
That would be convenient. It would also save money on gas.
But they'd have to avoid getting the station in their shots.
And what becomes of her, we'll never know.
You got the acknowledgment of a little girl's recovery in compensation.
That seems a little forced.
Pretty typical interplay between the station crew.
Sherrifed, but only because you reminded me.
I stumbled upon it myself.
They actually don't have the authority to make those demands. An ambulance will take you to the nearest appropriate facility. This is also specified in insurance coverage. Of course, this was fifty years ago, so maybe it was different.
And also California.
It's still a good idea, they just need somebody qualified to set it up.
There ya go--Getting somebody who knows what they're doing would resolve at least half of their comical subplots.
Oh, man, I forgot about this. It was not a welcome development.
Ah, so he's recurring--but only for one more appearance, I think you can handle that.
I remember that little crossover scene. "Just say, 'I love you, Joe.'" Boing!
Pretty much.
I was afraid that you might not get the count joke after so many years.
There should be a phone gag in every episode.
There are probably more than I'm noticing or thinking to mention.
They should have had an MTM crossover where Elliot shows up at one of Mary's parties.
There ya go.
Sometimes when giving my address over the phone, I pronounce MA as "Mah" instead of Massachusetts. And I don't even have to be drunk.
Is that just you, or is it a regional thing?
Wow, reality anticipated me. That actually looks pretty cool-- although I can't help but mention that tragedy could have been avoided if someone had thought to actually render aid to the guy who was shot in a non-vital area.
"I'm a police scientist, not a paramedic!"
No codes in 1975? I actually can't remember when they came into use.
I think that may have actually come up as a news item, but I don't know how commonly they were in use at this point. We don't have barcodes on comic book covers yet.
Right, it's exactly like that.
And this week, moonshiners!
Interesting that a Korean slur has Japanese origins. But they pass through Japan on the way to Korea, right?
Yep. Japan had a strong US military presence after the war.
Oh, so he's the replacement guy for Michael Douglas? I remember Michael Douglas leaving the show, but I don't think I realized Richard Hatch was his replacement. I didn't really watch that one on a regular basis.
I saw it in the day, but it's one of those shows that I don't have any practical memory of.
Yeah, but those clowns weren't capable of stealing enough to put a warehouse out of business, especially when you consider insurance.
I was wondering about insurance, if they didn't quickly handwave it. Premium increases could have been a factor.
"And find out how it's being transported from the mainland."
I drive over to my Mother's every Saturday for breakfast, so I hear him just about every week.
I fell out of the habit of putting it on at some point.
