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The Classic/Retro Pop Culture Thread

Wow, I didn't realize that he directed that movie. It was actually a decent adaptation of the story.
If you can get your hands on a DVD/Blu-ray copy with Director's Commentary, it's interesting to hear him talk about the difficulties of being a first-time director and the pressure he faced from not only the studio, but Harlan Ellison (which should come as no surprise).
The studio, at one point, insisted that the dog's lips be animated when he spoke, because the studio didn't think the audience would understand the telepathic bond between Vic and Blood.
 
Speaking of SNL. Just in time for the 50th Anniversary

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Done in real time - set between the dress rehearsal and the first live televised airing of SNL.
 


Belated 50th Anniversary Viewing

Now it's a slo-mo but sound-effectless sprint to the finish as we proceed into the last five episodes of SMDM S1 just ahead of our new 50th Anniversary Viewing season.



The Six Million Dollar Man
"Dr. Wells Is Missing"
Originally aired March 29, 1974
Wiki said:
When a group of international criminals kidnap Dr. Rudy Wells in order to force him to build them a bionic man, Steve is sent to find and rescue him.

The bionic sound is used for the first time once during the fight scene close to the end of the episode.

Actually, it's used three times, but still hasn't been assigned exclusively to Steve, or even to bionics/robotics in this case.

INNSBRUCK, AUSTRIA: Rudy checks into the Hotel Otztal, having gotten an invitation to receive a doctorate from his alma mater. Oscar and Steve call to check on him out of concern fueled by Oscar's instinct (perhaps set off by the fact that Rudy's already a doctor). Steve volunteers to drop in and check on Rudy. As Wells finishes checking in, a pair of heavies chloro him right in front of the complicit desk clerk (Than Wyenn).

When Steve arrives at the hotel, the clerk gives him a story about Wells checking out early due to an invitation to be a gentleman's house guest. Outside, the porter (Norbert Schiller) tells Steve of how Rudy, mistaken to have been drunk, was carried into a car. The clerk calls a stately manor to warn Alfredo Tucelli (John van Dreelen), who, accompanied by Julio Tucelli (Michael Dante; presumably a brother given the actors' ages, but I didn't catch where they established that) and a heavy named Yamo (Jim Shane), questions Wells about having created a bionic man. As Steve's driving to check out his lead, a duo in another car start ramming his rear. Both cars being topless, Steve gets beside them and rips out their steering wheel, sending them into an unseen crash (but with no sound to indicate the usual obligatory result). At the village the car is from, Steve questions a mechanic, Anton Brandt (Curt Lowens), who's initially friendly but clams up, making a call to Tucelli afterward. Suspicious of the mechanic, Steve uses some Austrian he learns from a waitress (Cynthia Lynn) to call Brandt from a payphone and order him to visit the man he's answering to (which seems way too easy). Steve follows him on foot to Stately Tucelli Manor, leaping atop the wall. After the mechanic is sent away, Steve sneaks into the house from an upper story window and sees Rudy downstairs maintaining his story that he's been engaged in cancer research for the past two years. Rudy spots Steve and calls out to him before Yamo TV-fus his lights out.

Under threat of Yamo working over the unconscious Steve, Rudy pretends to relent, giving Tucelli a story about how the government cut off his research and Steve being a pharmaceutical company agent who's also been trying to recruit him to create a bionic man. Rudy's allowed to talk to Steve, who plays along with Rudy's act, through which Rudy conveys information about the situation that he's in. Suspecting that Steve is actually Wells's bionic man, Tucelli has him locked in a dungeon cell and watches via hidden camera as Steve busts out of his chains, which includes tearing out the piece of concrete wall they're bolted into. Steve is out before they catch up with him, but Tucelli calls out to him to surrender for Rudy's safety. Steve complies and is taken back into custody, surrounded by armed guards.

The next morning, Tucelli arranges for a test of Steve's abilities. First up is a brawny savate expert named Pierre, who gets in a couple of good kicks before being tossed aside. Next he sends in two men, Kurt and Vincent (uncredited Dave Cass and Terry Leonard, who I believe were the abductors), and after Pierre joins in as well, Steve fends off all three at once--the bionic sound being used once for Steve as he flips one of them. Tucelli is most impressed as Steve ultimately tosses all three away. Yamo, who's no piker for a guy without bionics, rips up a lamp post and charges at Steve with it, but with the help of some reused shots, Steve repeatedly tosses away all four assailants, to Rudy's amused approval. Alas, the bionic sound effect is used twice for Yamo(!!!) as he gets in a couple of good blows with the post, first against Steve's legs to get him off his feet, then smashing into his bionic arm. Tucelli calls off the fight and Rudy questions Steve about whether his real leg or bionic one was injured. Once again Steve plays along.

Back in Tucelli's lab, to save Steve's life, Rudy offers to inject him with a drug that will put him under Tucelli's control. He shoots it into the leg that Tucelli has been led to believe is real. After Steve and Rudy are left alone with Yamo, Steve breaks his strap and kicks Yamo into a wall. Steve, his bionic arm now in a sling, decoys the guards by making a break on foot, while Rudy commandeers a Jeep. Steve takes down the heavy gates with a flying kick, then hops in the back of Rudy's Jeep, which is followed by Tucelli's men. Steve gets out to play decoy again, and the hoods try to run him down, but have trouble catching up with him as he accelerates past 60 mph on the windy, muddy road. As he hides in bushes, Yamo gets out to find him on foot, and Steve kicks the car over a cliff with two men inside, sending the vehicle to its OTVF. A one-on-one duel with Yamo ensues, in which the hood proves to be a close match for Steve sans his bionic wing, but Steve ultimately bests him with a flying kick.

In the coda, Rudy's back in Washington, we're told that the Tucellis have been taken into custody, and Steve shows Rudy and Oscar that his repaired arm needs a little adjustment by breaking a coffee table into two with the touch of his pinky.



The Six Million Dollar Man
"The Last of the Fourth of Julys"
Originally aired April 5, 1974
Wiki said:
When a terrorist uses a laser to try to kill a group of prime ministers attending an international meeting in Paris, Steve is assigned to infiltrate his compound and stop him.

At a secure installation in a neutral country, Agent Balsam (Hank Stohl) sends an urgent, coded message about a laser being ready before he's caught and kills himself offscreen with a cyanide capsule...as underling Root (Special Guest Star Kevin Tighe) reports to Quail (Steve Forrest), who's also accompanied by a femme fatale named Violette (Arlene Martel). Quail promises Mr. Ives (Ben Wright), the investor for whom he developed the weapon, of an attack that will go off at exactly 6:00 p.m. on the titular date.

Oscar assigns Steve to investigate, unsure of who the mysterious Quail is or what it all adds up to. Oscar briefs Steve about the installation and how he'll be inserted by being shot from a sub in a torpedo to a coastline in Norway (which looks absolutely nothing like that Southern Californian piece of coastline with a big cave that we've seen in other TV shows). In preparation for all of this, Steve undergoes some training with Joe Alabam (Tom Reese), a tough drill sergeant who knows about his abilities, which includes vaulting over a 30-foot high fence and simulating the torpedo ride complete with pressure. Cut to the sub, pinging away with its active sonar in the typical TV fashion, where Oscar and Joe see Steve off on his ride.

The insertion is successful, Steve changes clothes and hides his torpedo, then uses a bionically thrown grappling hook to climb up the beach's cliff. (As an IMDb contributor points out, you can see rocks falling upward in the climbing shots.) He then pole-vaults over the fence, grazing the barbed wire despite his training. In the facility, Root's consoles detect a radioactive reading somewhere inside the fence. Steve proceeds through the hard water plant that powers the laser as Quail and Root (who sound kind of like Guardians of the Galaxy) remotely follow the progress of their intruder.
SMDM10.jpg
Steve breaks through some bouncy bars into the sewer level. Quail and minions converge on Steve's location in electric carts and a no-name thug TV-fus Steve into captivity.

Quail, Root, and Violette speculate about the nature of the intruder, and deduce that he must be wearing a radioactive implant. Quail and company then interrogate Steve, which includes Violette using a neck pinch that she brought from the ol' home planet:
SMDM11.jpg
Mindful of Oscar's advice that he not reveal his strength too soon (The way they play up Steve's coaching, you'd think this was his first assignment.), Steve endures this and other methods, including Root spinning him around while flashing strobe lights.

SMDM13.jpg
"Who sent you!?! Was it Johnny!?! Chet!?!"

As Violette attempts a solo follow-up with the neck pinch, she tells Steve that she's an Interpol agent. He's reluctant to trust her, but she tells him that they're testing the laser that day, which will involve bouncing it off a satellite. When he learns how they caught him, he asks her to shut off the sensor systems so he can break out....which he proceeds with immediately after she leaves, busting out of his cuffs and forcing open a security door to toss in the guards. She proceeds to an electronics hardware room, shorts out the system, and is apprehended. Steve is then caught fooling around in the laser control room.

As minion Hurst (H. Alan Deglin) activates the laser, which is set up kind of like an observatory telescope, in true Bondian fashion Quail explains to Steve how he plans to use the laser to kill delegates from seven nations at a Paris summit that is against Ives's interests. In an extremely disappointing twist, we learn that the laser is just being used as an unnecessarily elaborate means of detonating explosives that have already been planted on-site...!

:wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

Figuring that he's now in the fourth act of the show, Steve shoves away his guards and makes his break with Violette in tow. He tells her that he programmed the laser to self-destruct in five minutes...Good luck, Steve! They evade pursuit, which includes Steve kicking his cart into Root's, and Steve takes her to the bendy-barred tunnel whence he came in. Outside, as Root and armed guards approach, Steve uses his arm to tear open the electric fence, and climbs down the cliff with Violette on his back. In the cave, he loads her into the torpedo, drags it to the water while being fired on from above, and bionic-propels her away toward the sub as the installation goes up. The sub captain (Barry Cahill) wants to dive at the sound of an approaching torpedo, but Oscar convinces him to risk it, aided by sonar not picking up the sound of propellors. Steve and wet Violette are brought aboard.

In the coda, Steve blows off Oscar trying to brief him about his next assignment on the sub, prioritizing getting in some alone time with Violette.



The Six Million Dollar Man
"Burning Bright"
Originally aired April 12, 1974
Wiki said:
Steve's astronaut friend Josh Lang (William Shatner) is impaired after being exposed to an electrical field while in space. However, Lang finds himself with strange abilities from the exposure, including the ability to communicate with dolphins. When Lang's condition deteriorates, Steve must find him and take him to a facility before he harms himself.

The episode opens with Josh being gabby on a spacewalk, starting with jokes but acting increasingly trippy. In Houston, NASA official Calvin Billings (Quinn Redeker) shows Steve the tape and consults with him about his own spacewalking experience. Steve indicates that there was an electrical field involved, but he worked his way past the euphoria that it induced. But Cal indicates that it's been two weeks and Josh hasn't returned to normal, his brain seemingly supercharged. Hoping to prevent Cal from removing Josh from future missions, Steve agrees to look into the matter.

NASA scientists observe as Steve demonstrates his bionic abilities in reused footage from the pilot and the pole vaulting from just last episode. Meeting Steve at Ocean World park, Josh indicates that he knows he's been acting irrationally, but he can't turn it off; and that he feels like a walking computer. At Houston, Dr. Ted Haldane (Warren Kemmerling) indicates that he wants to have Josh put under observation, which would also jeopardize the astronaut's career. He and Steve are called into the programming room, where Josh is having an episode as he gathers up sheets of data and insists that there's a mistake in the programming for the next mission. Steve asks Oscar to have both this and an observation Josh talked about during his spaceflight, about the sun being the origin of space vector, run through a computer. Later, as Steve's jogging with Josh, Josh is drawn to an electrical tower, climbs up it, and starts to talk to an unseen Andy, whom he also addressed during his spacewalk. Josh pulls loose an electrical wire, becoming caught in its current, and Steve goes up to yank it out. Afterward, when Steve vaguely explains his arm, Josh guesses that he's bionic; and continues to deny knowing who Andy is.

Josh: All my life I've dreamed about going up into space, and now I wanna go back...!​

Watch out for your job, Decker!

While Steve's poring through Josh's file, Josh escapes from guarded bed rest by switching places with an MP through unknown means. He leaves Steve a note indicating that he wants to meet at Ocean World again. There, Josh tells Steve that he knocked out the MP with electrical energy from his mind, and that the dolphins are talking to him, and he can understand them. He believes that the dolphins are in tune with the electrical field in space, and wants to take a dolphin up with Steve, believing that it will be able to communicate with other worlds. Desperate to prove he can communicate with the cetaceans, Josh goes out onto the plank and mentally commands them to jump in in pairs and fours. (All that's missing is Ted Knight's narration.) What Josh can't explain is the name of the beneficiary on his life insurance policy, Ernesto Arruza, whom he says he's never heard of. Back at NASA, Billings threatens to have Josh placed in protective custody, but Josh knocks him out with that electrical energy from his mind.

Billings confirms that Josh somehow controlled him; and Oscar confirms that Josh was right about the programming error and the sun thing, though he doesn't get into the latter. Dr. Haldane produces an EEG that demonstrates how Josh's mind has been supercharged, and he believes that Josh is threatening to emulate a light bulb by burning too bright before he blows out. Trying to find Josh first, Steve pays a visit to Ernesto Arruza (Rodolfo Hoyos), who turns out to be a man from Josh's home town whose son, Andy, was friends with Josh, and died climbing on an electrical tower when he was ten. Steve tries to find the tower, believing that's where Josh is going. A deputy in a bar (Joseph di Reda) recognizes Josh, Josh reads his mind, and when Josh uses his power to stop the deputy from taking him into custody, Josh accidentally kills him.

Confirming with a waitress at the bar (Anne Schedeen) that Josh was looking for Andy, he proceeds to the tower, where Josh is calling up to Andy again, offering to help him, and starts to climb. Steve tells Josh that he was right about the computer error and the sun thing, and tries to get him to come down so he can be treated, but Josh, saying that he's burning, continues to climb. Steve jumps up onto the tower and climbs after him. While Steve tries to get to Josh on a girder, Josh apologizes to Andy for having dared him to climb the tower. Josh then tries to stop Steve with his mind, and loses control, intensely babbling equations for his sun vector theory before collapsing into Steve's arms. Steve brings Josh down and carries his body past a cordon of deputies.

In the coda, Josh is due for a hero's burial at Arlington, and Steve acknowledges that Josh was an oddball from the beginning, crediting Cal for taking a chance on sending him into space and encouraging him not to let what happened to Josh stop him in the future. Outside, Steve looks at the Moon, hearing Josh's joking during his spacewalk, and says goodbye to his friend.

On the plus side, this was a high-concept episode that was a good showcase for Shat's hammy acting style. On the minus, it seemed a little underdeveloped, like there should have been some payoff for what Josh was going through...like having the opportunity to use his abilities to save the world or something before he burnt out.

While this episode reinforces that there's more space flight activity going on in the Bionicverse, it stays grounded in the present by referencing Apollo-Soyuz as an upcoming space mission.



It was an unpopular decision, but I disagree that it cost him the election. He really had no chance. He was not only serving the second of two consecutive Republican terms, but he was covering for a historically unpopular president, and he was also just some guy who nobody had voted for for president to begin with. He was an appointee. Plus the fact that he was up against a likeable candidate who was generally seen as the antidote to everything Nixon.
It was nevertheless a close election--Carter wasn't a shoo-in--and the unpopularity of this decision is conventionally believed to have tipped the balance against Ford.

I voted for Ford in the Weekly Reader poll...I'd never heard of that Carter guy. :p

It was the right thing to do, but he didn't think it through. Instead of just issuing a blanket pardon, he should have iterated all the charges that Nixon would have faced and pardoned him for each one individually.
I think that would have invited the opportunity to game the pardon by finding other charges to go after Nixon with.

A Friday the 13th to remember! Planet of the Apes premiered at 8pm, after which I joined Six-Million-Dollar Man in progress, and then Night Stalker came on at 10pm. Night Stalker, of course, would become one of my all-time favorite TV shows.
Night Stalker debuted on Friday the 13th? That's cute. I would have been watching Sanford and Son, Chico, and Police Woman. I wasn't into Rockford, which fell between them, but remember it being on when I was in the room.

Good one. Some nostalgic appeal.
I had this, but can't say that it's familiar.

Now this one I remember from in the day, but it eluded my collection.

I have no recollection of this at all. I'm surprised it made it to #11. :rommie:
Ditto. It's not reprehensible, I'll probably get it.

Not bad for a TV show. But that picture answers the question of how accurate the interior was... namely, not at all. :rommie:
I figured as much.

Looking back a little, I think the talk of secret missions and a Moonbase was just us trying to make sense of all the stock footage. :rommie:
Or maybe you were getting SMDM mixed up with Super Friends.

If Reagan had challenged Ford for the Presidential ticket in '76 like he strongly being advised to, Reagan probably would have won, and it would have been Reagan v. Carter four years earlier.



Early this morning when I was briefly awake during Me's airing of The Invaders, I saw...Gene Fucking Hackman. I didn't know he did TV! (Looks like Trapper was in the episode, too.)
 
Last edited:
Session bassist Herbie Flowers passed away today at the age of 86. You may not know his name, but I guarantee you know at least two of the songs he played on.

First up - Lou Reed with 'Walk On The Wild Side'.

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And Harry Nilsson's 'Jump Into The Fire'.

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Yeah, Ford was never going to win re-election. If Reagan had challenged Ford for the Presidential ticket in '76 like he strongly being advised to, Reagan probably would have won
Looks like he did, and he came pretty close to doing just that.

Speaking of SNL. Just in time for the 50th Anniversary

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Done in real time - set between the dress rehearsal and the first live televised airing of SNL.
Holy Toledo. :rommie:

Actually, it's used three times, but still hasn't been assigned exclusively to Steve, or even to bionics/robotics in this case.
It's funny how it took them pretty much the whole first season to establish these classic elements.

(perhaps set off by the fact that Rudy's already a doctor)
Or does he just play one on TV? Actually, it would be kind of funny if Rudy turned out to be some kind of "great imposter" type of character.

a heavy named Yamo (Jim Shane), questions Wells about having created a bionic man.
And how does a crime syndicate know about this? Because Steve can't keep his mouth shut! :rommie:

Steve gets beside them and rips out their steering wheel, sending them into an unseen crash (but with no sound to indicate the usual obligatory result)
They're fine. Steve doesn't kill people anymore.

Steve questions a mechanic, Anton Brandt (Curt Lowens), who's initially friendly but clams up, making a call to Tucelli afterward.
This is like one of those Ironside evil small town episodes, except where the hills are alive with the sound of music. :rommie:

First up is a brawny savate expert named Pierre, who gets in a couple of good kicks before being tossed aside. Next he sends in two men, Kurt and Vincent (uncredited Dave Cass and Terry Leonard, who I believe were the abductors), and after Pierre joins in as well, Steve fends off all three at once--the bionic sound being used once for Steve as he flips one of them. Tucelli is most impressed as Steve ultimately tosses all three away. Yamo, who's no piker for a guy without bionics, rips up a lamp post and charges at Steve with it, but with the help of some reused shots, Steve repeatedly tosses away all four assailants, to Rudy's amused approval.
I'm pretty sure I remember this. Was the ground all snowy?

Rudy questions Steve about whether his real leg or bionic one was injured. Once again Steve plays along.
Rudy is pretty sharp. :rommie:

He shoots it into the leg that Tucelli has been led to believe is real.
Tucelli is being a little unrealistically naive here.

Steve, his bionic arm now in a sling
I do like how they portray Steve's bionics as vulnerable to damage and mechanical failure.

Steve takes down the heavy gates with a flying kick, then hops in the back of Rudy's Jeep, which is followed by Tucelli's men.
Now here's the scene that I had thought was in the same episode as the freezer sequence. When Steve goes to jump out of the jeep, Rudy puts his hand on his arm and says, "No, Steve, no!" I found this very touching at the time.

he accelerates past 60 mph on the windy, muddy road.
He must have bionic traction too.

Steve kicks the car over a cliff with two men inside, sending the vehicle to its OTVF.
Oops. Never mind. Steve still kills people. :rommie:

A one-on-one duel with Yamo ensues, in which the hood proves to be a close match for Steve sans his bionic wing, but Steve ultimately bests him with a flying kick.
I like the idea that there are normal people badass enough to give Steve a hard time, but on the other hand it's hard to swallow that a guy who can crash through walls and rip chains apart can't break a couple of arms and crush a couple of kneecaps in a matter of seconds. :rommie:

Steve shows Rudy and Oscar that his repaired arm needs a little adjustment by breaking a coffee table into two with the touch of his pinky.
You knew about the pinky! :rommie:

underling Root (Special Guest Star Kevin Tighe)
Wow, that's a surprise.

Quail (Steve Forrest)
The SWAT guy, among many other macho roles.

a femme fatale named Violette (Arlene Martel)
Do not bang a gong!

Oscar assigns Steve to investigate
"Steve, I don't want you anywhere near the place!"

Oscar briefs Steve about the installation and how he'll be inserted by being shot from a sub in a torpedo
"Uh... I have bionic swimming powers, you know."

a coastline in Norway (which looks absolutely nothing like that Southern Californian piece of coastline with a big cave that we've seen in other TV shows)
It was the best they could fjord.

In preparation for all of this, Steve undergoes some training with Joe Alabam (Tom Reese), a tough drill sergeant who knows about his abilities, which includes vaulting over a 30-foot high fence and simulating the torpedo ride complete with pressure.
This episode is really a return to the early Bondian style adventure.

(As an IMDb contributor points out, you can see rocks falling upward in the climbing shots.)
Norway, man. Weird.

Root's consoles detect a radioactive reading somewhere inside the fence.
I don't know why it didn't occur to me until now, but why would space radiation bother Steve's nuclear-powered radioactive bionics?

Quail and Root (who sound kind of like Guardians of the Galaxy)
Oh, right, they use a version of Starlord in that group. Forgot about that.

Violette using a neck pinch that she brought from the ol' home planet:

View attachment 41614
That's hilarious. It had to be deliberate. Between that and the "final frontier" quote, I think we must have some Trek fans on the writing staff. :rommie:

Steve endures this and other methods, including Root spinning him around while flashing strobe lights.
And singing "I Think I Love You."

View attachment 41615
"Who sent you!?! Was it Johnny!?! Chet!?!"
This must have been very weird. :rommie:

As Violette attempts a solo follow-up with the neck pinch, she tells Steve that she's an Interpol agent.
Whew!

In an extremely disappointing twist, we learn that the laser is just being used as an unnecessarily elaborate means of detonating explosives that have already been planted on-site...!

:wtf: :wtf: :wtf:
Talk about overthinking the plumbing. :rommie:

In the cave, he loads her into the torpedo
Right here she's having second thoughts about whose side she's on.

The sub captain (Barry Cahill) wants to dive at the sound of an approaching torpedo, but Oscar convinces him to risk it
Shouldn't he be expecting it?

In the coda, Steve blows off Oscar trying to brief him about his next assignment on the sub, prioritizing getting in some alone time with Violette.
Yep, we're definitely in Bondian mode here. :rommie:

The episode opens with Josh being gabby on a spacewalk, starting with jokes but acting increasingly trippy.
Ah, yes, the Shatner dolphin episode. I remember this one.

Steve demonstrates his bionic abilities in reused footage from the pilot and the pole vaulting from just last episode.
They were really on a budget this first season. :rommie:

an observation Josh talked about during his spaceflight, about the sun being the origin of space vector, run through a computer.
"Check with Victor about the vector." What the hell is a space vector? :rommie:

Josh: All my life I've dreamed about going up into space, and now I wanna go back...!

Watch out for your job, Decker!
:rommie: Ironically, this kind of mirrors Steve's "final frontier" comment from a couple of episodes ago.

Josh tells Steve that he knocked out the MP with electrical energy from his mind, and that the dolphins are talking to him, and he can understand them.
"This won't interfere with my astronaut career, will it?"

He believes that the dolphins are in tune with the electrical field in space, and wants to take a dolphin up with Steve, believing that it will be able to communicate with other worlds.
"No, Josh, you're exactly what we look for in an astronaut."

(All that's missing is Ted Knight's narration.)
:rommie:

when Josh uses his power to stop the deputy from taking him into custody, Josh accidentally kills him.
Sealing his own dramatic fate.

Josh apologizes to Andy for having dared him to climb the tower.
This was a very sad moment.

On the plus side, this was a high-concept episode that was a good showcase for Shat's hammy acting style. On the minus, it seemed a little underdeveloped, like there should have been some payoff for what Josh was going through...like having the opportunity to use his abilities to save the world or something before he burnt out.
It was definitely underdeveloped. I like that it was a very personal story, despite the Sci-Fi elements, with no foreign agents or mad scientists or anything, but there should have been more of a connection between Josh's current troubles and the revelations about his past. Was he unable to deal with his supercharged brain because it supercharged the guilt he's been carrying all his life? Also there could have been more about what the dolphins were telling him or that space vector thing-- maybe the space vector thing could have led to him saving the world, or at least Skylab or whatever.

it stays grounded in the present by referencing Apollo-Soyuz as an upcoming space mission.
That's a nice timely reference.

It was nevertheless a close election--Carter wasn't a shoo-in--and the unpopularity of this decision is conventionally believed to have tipped the balance against Ford.
Yeah, I see that the popular vote was much closer than I thought. But check out those quaint election numbers. A total of eighty million votes-- Biden alone got more than that in 2020. :rommie:

I voted for Ford in the Weekly Reader poll...I'd never heard of that Carter guy. :p
Ah, The Weekly Reader. We used to get that in Dorchester. I always went straight to the comic strip. :rommie:

I think that would have invited the opportunity to game the pardon by finding other charges to go after Nixon with.
Well, that's true, although I think everybody was happy to put it behind them. Ford could have headed that off at the pass by adding the blanket pardon after the itemized list of charges. I think the people just needed to have those crimes acknowledged.

Night Stalker debuted on Friday the 13th? That's cute.
Yeah, isn't that great? :rommie:

I would have been watching Sanford and Son, Chico, and Police Woman. I wasn't into Rockford, which fell between them, but remember it being on when I was in the room.
I liked Rockford Files, but I didn't get to see it a lot.

Or maybe you were getting SMDM mixed up with Super Friends.
I think we were on Mars in Super Friends. :rommie:

I wasn't aware of this at the time, either, I don't think. I barely knew who Reagan was. They made fun of him on Laugh-In, so I knew his name, at least.

Early this morning when I was briefly awake during Me's airing of The Invaders, I saw...Gene Fucking Hackman. I didn't know he did TV! (Looks like Trapper was in the episode, too.)
Wow, I would have recorded that if I'd noticed it.

Session bassist Herbie Flowers passed away today at the age of 86. You may not know his name, but I guarantee you know at least two of the songs he played on.

First up - Lou Reed with 'Walk On The Wild Side'.

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For more detailed information, see our cookies page.

And Harry Nilsson's 'Jump Into The Fire'.

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For more detailed information, see our cookies page.
Yeah, I like both of those songs. RIP, Herbie Flowers.
 
Or does he just play one on TV? Actually, it would be kind of funny if Rudy turned out to be some kind of "great imposter" type of character.
He specifically mentioned being a doctor in the episode, too.

And how does a crime syndicate know about this? Because Steve can't keep his mouth shut! :rommie:
It's known that he's an expert in bionics; not that he's actually created a bionic man.

I'm pretty sure I remember this. Was the ground all snowy?
Yep.

Rudy is pretty sharp. :rommie:
As was Steve in keeping up with him.

Tucelli is being a little unrealistically naive here.
He did ask why Rudy was injecting it into a leg, and Rudy had an excuse.

I do like how they portray Steve's bionics as vulnerable to damage and mechanical failure.
It's arguable that Yamo's bionic sounds were for Steve's bionics getting hit.

When Steve goes to jump out of the jeep, Rudy puts his hand on his arm and says, "No, Steve, no!" I found this very touching at the time.
Rudy argues with his decision, but there's no touching and it's less dramatic. "No, no, come on!"

I like the idea that there are normal people badass enough to give Steve a hard time, but on the other hand it's hard to swallow that a guy who can crash through walls and rip chains apart can't break a couple of arms and crush a couple of kneecaps in a matter of seconds. :rommie:
I always felt the same way about supposedly unpowered opponents being able to give Spidey a hard time--he can lift tons, someone like the Kingpin shouldn't be a physical match for him.

You knew about the pinky! :rommie:
I think that did inform my comment.

The SWAT guy, among many other macho roles.
And he got less prestigious billing than the guy playing his minion.

Do not bang a gong!
I believe the Earth colloquialism for this is "being Capped". :vulcan:

"Steve, I don't want you anywhere near the place!"
:D Sometimes Oscar actually just straight-up gives him assignments.

It was the best they could fjord.
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This episode is really a return to the early Bondian style adventure.
I noticed that.

I don't know why it didn't occur to me until now, but why would space radiation bother Steve's nuclear-powered radioactive bionics?
Conflicting wavelengths or something?

That's hilarious. It had to be deliberate. Between that and the "final frontier" quote, I think we must have some Trek fans on the writing staff. :rommie:
It does seem like more than a coincidence.

This must have been very weird. :rommie:
The weird thing was that there was a strobe light behind Steve, so Root was spinning and getting strobed, too. Steve should have started asking him questions.

As I understand it, Interpol doesn't actually run agents, but it's a common misconception.

Shouldn't he be expecting it?
No, Steve was supposed to swim back. He'd have nothing to launch the torpedo and it wouldn't have made sense for him to push it back to the sub without his unplanned-for passenger.

Yep, we're definitely in Bondian mode here. :rommie:
Especially this part.
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"Check with Victor about the vector." What the hell is a space vector? :rommie:
I thought you might know. :shrug:

Was he unable to deal with his supercharged brain because it supercharged the guilt he's been carrying all his life?
I got the impression that there was supposed to be an electrical field connection, but they didn't even speculate on it.

Also there could have been more about what the dolphins were telling him or that space vector thing-- maybe the space vector thing could have led to him saving the world, or at least Skylab or whatever.
As far as the dolphins angle went, I couldn't help thinking of TVH and cetacean ops.

Well, that's true, although I think everybody was happy to put it behind them.
That's the thing--people were angry because they weren't ready to put it behind them. There are going to be congressional hearings about it.

Wow, I would have recorded that if I'd noticed it.
I should have recorded it to make my own cap, but by the time I semi-consciously thought of it, The Powers of Matthew Star was on.
 
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He specifically mentioned being a doctor in the episode, too.
I suppose it could have been in a different field or something.

It's known that he's an expert in bionics; not that he's actually created a bionic man.
If he's questioning Rudy about having created a bionic man, there must at least be rumors going around.

As was Steve in keeping up with him.
Yes, some good writing and characterization there.

He did ask why Rudy was injecting it into a leg, and Rudy had an excuse.
Okay, that's pretty good.

Rudy argues with his decision, but there's no touching and it's less dramatic. "No, no, come on!"
Once again my memory does a little rewrite. :rommie: Anyway, the way it played made my thirteen-year-old self think, "Aww, Rudy's scared for his friend."

I always felt the same way about supposedly unpowered opponents being able to give Spidey a hard time--he can lift tons, someone like the Kingpin shouldn't be a physical match for him.
I remember thinking that about Kingpin, too. I always wondered if I had missed something or if they were planning to reveal that he had super powers.

And he got less prestigious billing than the guy playing his minion.
Here's another case of my memory failing me. I just checked Wiki and SWAT doesn't even start until 1975. It was basically on concurrently with Starsky & Hutch, and I would have guessed that it had come and gone by then. Of course, I never actually watched SWAT, so my memory of it is less vivid. Anyway, I guess that makes Kevin Tighe the bigger TV star at this point.

I believe the Earth colloquialism for this is "being Capped". :vulcan:
Quite logical.

:D Sometimes Oscar actually just straight-up gives him assignments.
Just to keep us guessing. :rommie:

Sorry, Rudy. :rommie:

Conflicting wavelengths or something?
Yeah, maybe high-energy gamma rays. Also, Skylab was way below the Van Allen belts, but there's still a surplus of Alpha particles. I'm sure there's enough justification there for adventure-show science.

The weird thing was that there was a strobe light behind Steve, so Root was spinning and getting strobed, too. Steve should have started asking him questions.
Now that would have been a great twist. :rommie:

As I understand it, Interpol doesn't actually run agents, but it's a common misconception.
Very common. I didn't realize that myself.

No, Steve was supposed to swim back. He'd have nothing to launch the torpedo and it wouldn't have made sense for him to push it back to the sub without his unplanned-for passenger.
True, that makes sense.

Especially this part.
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Exactly. Normal Steve would have said, "Maybe we can get a cup of coffee sometime," while Bondian Steve is like, "Let's go." :rommie:

I thought you might know. :shrug:
It may have made more sense in context, but the words really mean nothing much.

As far as the dolphins angle went, I couldn't help thinking of TVH and cetacean ops.
Oh, yeah. That would have been another cool plot thread to follow up on someday. They could have proved that Josh was right.

That's the thing--people were angry because they weren't ready to put it behind them. There are going to be congressional hearings about it.
Yeah, certainly, and of course there would be a spectrum of opinion, but I think much of it was the lack of closure, so to speak, and I feel like a public reading of the charges by the president would have given some satisfaction.

I should have recorded it to make my own cap, but by the time I semi-consciously thought of it, The Powers of Matthew Star was on.
There's a show I never saw. I think it was a teenage drama or something, wasn't it?
 


Belated 50th Anniversary Viewing



The Six Million Dollar Man
"The Coward"
Originally aired April 19, 1974
Wiki said:
When an earthquake in the Himalayas uncovers a DC-3 plane containing secret papers that went down during World War II, Steve is sent to recover them. Steve also tries to clear the name of the pilot—his father—who was accused of bailing out and leaving the rest of the crew to die.

Oscar briefs Steve about the plane, considering it important to retrieve documents about an agreement between the Soviets and the nationalist Chinese to prevent the communist Chinese from finding them, which could disturb the peace between the two powers. He then probes Steve about his knowledge of his real father, who died when he was two (Steve having been raised by a stepfather); ultimately revealing that the pilot who reportedly bailed out of My Little Girl, leaving his crew to die, was Captain Carl Austin.

Steve pays a visit to his mother (Martha Scott), whom it turns out the plane was named after. She doesn't know any more about the circumstances of his father's death, but she's certain that he wouldn't have abandoned his crew, because he wouldn't have been able to face his family--having never met Steve. Back at OSI, Oscar sets Steve up with a professional climber who'll help him make the ascent to the plateau that the plane is on: Chin-Ling (Sulu picked up another hobby), who knows about Steve's bionics and gives him some training before their flight.
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The duo is seen by mounted bandits being dropped from an Air Force plane and find themselves surrounded. Understanding their language, Chin informs Steve that they plan to sell Steve to the Chinese and off Chin, so Steve breaks for it and leads most of them on a chase. Chin disarms the single guard left to watch him, but is shot fleeing by the bandit leader, Quang-Dri (Ron Soble). After eluding the bandits, Steve is found by Garth, an older American who's gone native (George Montgomery). After learning of Steve's objective, Garth takes Steve to his home, where Steve meets Garth's wife, Mamu (France Nguyen), who isn't happy at the prospect of angering Quang-Dri. Garth insists on helping Steve due to avalanches. That night, Garth is kept awake by flashbacks to the Zero attack that shot down My Little Girl despite her fighter escort. (You know where flashbacks to WWII footage take me...) While Garth and Steve are preparing to leave the next day, Garth retrieves a hidden set of dog tags.

As the duo begin their ascent, Steve seems suspicious of Garth's history with the mountain; and when asked, Garth denies having flown during the war. After Steve drives in a piton with his bionic arm, Garth asks Steve who he is, having already seen him outrun horses. Steve tells Garth his name and who his father was. The duo finishes their climb and explore the broken fuselage of the craft. Steve finds a body at the controls wearing dog tags that identify him as Christopher Bell. Steve sheds a tear, believing that this confirms that his father bailed out.

They bury the corpse, and Garth echoes Steve's mother's assertion that if Carl Austin did bail out, he wouldn't have returned home to face his family. Steve probes Garth for his knowledge of any other American known to have been in the area. Meanwhile, the bandits pay a visit to Mamu, who claims that the American forced her husband to climb the mountain at gunpoint. Quang sees through her deception, and he and his men find the duo coming back down. Quang fires at them and the Americans take cover. Then Steve comes out of hiding to take on their mounted attackers. Bionic sound effects are used as Steve dismounts four of them with a branch, then another with a flying leap. Garth injures himself stopping Quang from charging a prone Steve, after which he explains that he owed Steve. He shows Steve the dog tags, which are Carl Austin's, and identifies himself as Austin's copilot, Christopher Bell, who was the one who bailed out, then later went back to switch tags. Steve learns that the corpse he just buried was his father's.

Steve, his mother, and Oscar attend a military funeral at Arlington, Carl Austin's name having been cleared. Afterward Steve presents the dog tags to his mother, and she tells Steve that his father would have wanted him to have them. Steve walks outside and watches flight of F-4s overhead.

So this would be the first episode in which the bionic sound effects were used for Steve and Steve alone, though they were only used sparingly.

The last we saw of Garth, he either died or fell unconscious. Dramatically speaking, I'm inclined to think it was the former, but the episode really didn't convey it clearly.



The Six Million Dollar Man
"Run, Steve, Run"
Originally aired April 26, 1974
Season finale
Wiki said:
When a crime syndicate and a robot creator conspire to build a team of bionic robot criminals, they kidnap Steve in order to learn how his bionic limbs work.

Dr. Chester Dolenz (Henry Jones) and a Mr. Rossi (George Murdock) watch with binoculars as Steve turns down a job offer from Art Rameriz (Victor Millan), a friend in construction. Rossi's organization wants Dolenz to build a team of robots to rob Fort Knox; but Dolenz first wants to learn more about Steve's bionics, hoping to improve his designs. When Steve gets on the construction site elevator, Dolenz remotely blows the winch motor, causing it to plummet. Steve grabs the cable with his bionic hand to slow it down. Dolenz does some calculations to determine that Steve exerted enough force to lift 2,420 pounds six feet from the ground.

Steve tells Oscar that the elevator was rigged and speculates that it must have been by someone who knows he's bionic. While Oscar tends to other business, Steve goes into clip episode mode, flashing back to Dr. Bacon questioning him about his bionics in "Population: Zero"; Oscar reminds him that Dr. Bacon died when his van exploded, and sends Steve on a vacation to rest. On the plane, Steve has a more recent flashback, to Alfredo Tucelli having his men test Steve in the snow, including the part where Yamo whacks his bionic limbs with the lamppost. After Steve lands in Salt Lake City, Oscar affirms on the phone that Tucelli's still in jail. Steve's picked up by Suzie Lund (Melissa Greene), who works at the ranch of the friend he's visiting, Tom Molson (Noah Beery). As Steve catches up with Tom, we learn that Steve's mother is a Sunday school teacher. Dolenz and Rossi are watching the next morning when Suzie tries to give Steve a riding demonstration, only for the horse to throw her off, stunning her. Dolenz is disappointed that Steve fends off the horse and carries her to safety without employing his bionic legs.

Having coffee alone outside, Steve flashes back to his climactic battle with Dolenz's Major Sloan robot. (That's two flashbacks of scenes using the bionic sound effect--maybe somebody got the hint.) Steve gets back on the horn to Washington to ask Oscar about Dolenz, but by this point Oscar's treating him like the boy who cried wolf. Steve agrees to a friendly horse race with Suzie--which is also watched--and when she beats him, she probes him about whether he held back and let her win. When they're preparing to ride back, hoods shoot silenced rifles at her horse's hooves, scaring it into running out of control. Steve chases after and rescues her, as Dolenz clocks him at over 61 mph. Suzie repeatedly asks Steve where his horse is; while Rossi loses his patience with Dolenz, resolving to have Steve killed if Dolenz doesn't capture him the next day.

Later, Tom reluctantly agrees to let Steve try to tame a bucking bronc. Steve easily controls the horse and stays mounted by exerting pressure with his bionic legs. He then gets a call back from Oscar confirming that Dolenz is on the loose, was in Washington at the time of the construction site attempt, and is currently in Salt Lake City. Steve decides to play along and give Dolenz a chance to nab him, while Oscar alerts local authorities. Steve goes out for a solo ride accompanied by a Western variation of the show's theme; Suzie tries to join him, but he turns her away. He's then confronted on the path by the two rifle-bearing thugs, and puts up a fight. Two more come out of hiding and shoot tranq darts into Steve's upper back, knocking him out...while Suzie watches unnoticed and rides off to Tom to get help.

Tranquilized Steve is chained to a beam in a stable while the hoods pour cement into the barrel he's standing in. When Steve comes to, Dolenz properly introduces himself and proceeds to question Steve about how he detected the robot; then to take readings as he has Steve flex his arm. As Dolenz is about to cut open his arm, Steve warns him not to damage the atomic components, which gives Dolenz pause. Then Tom and his posse arrive and a firefight erupts outside. Steve breaks his chains and Dolenz and Rossi flee. Steve then bends out a nearby winch hook and uses it to pick into the cement, helping him to bust the barrel open. Steve rides after Rossi and his hoods, who are escaping in a pickup truck...and when he's out of sight of the ranchers, gets off his horse and pursues them on foot, cutting them off and leaping down into the back of the truck from a hill. As he's tangling with the baddies, Tom and the posse catch up and prevent Steve from being shot.

Oscar shows up at the ranch to confirm that Dolenz got away; and now that the doctor's plan has been thwarted, Steve insists on resuming his vacation against Oscar's objections. Suzie agrees not to pry about how Steve can outrun a horse.

See you in September, Steve!



And so concludes this year's hiatus season viewing. I didn't think I was gonna make it, as I was running behind my rough weekly goal for most of the season, but I picked up the pace in the last stretch of shows. I'd hoped to work in some movies, but those will have to wait at this point, possibly until the holidays.

I suppose it could have been in a different field or something.
I was wondering about that. Are honorary doctorates given in specific fields?

Here's another case of my memory failing me. I just checked Wiki and SWAT doesn't even start until 1975. It was basically on concurrently with Starsky & Hutch, and I would have guessed that it had come and gone by then. Of course, I never actually watched SWAT, so my memory of it is less vivid. Anyway, I guess that makes Kevin Tighe the bigger TV star at this point.
Yeah, I had a rough idea of when SWAT would be coming up because of the chart-topping theme, which hasn't come up yet.

Oh, yeah. That would have been another cool plot thread to follow up on someday. They could have proved that Josh was right.
Well, they weren't going to get into those things on this show, as they wanted to keep it grounded in the present-day real world. I just thought it was funny that an episode guest starring Shat presaged these elements being featured in Trek.

Yeah, certainly, and of course there would be a spectrum of opinion, but I think much of it was the lack of closure, so to speak, and I feel like a public reading of the charges by the president would have given some satisfaction.
Could he list charges that hadn't been made yet? I think he did it the right way. However, I assume that he misspoke on camera when he listed the starting date of the pardon as July 20, 1969...presumably he meant January, Nixon's inauguration date.

There's a show I never saw. I think it was a teenage drama or something, wasn't it?
More of a cheesy super-powered action-adventure show with a teenage lead character...initially with the setting being his high school life, but they retooled it in the second half of its only season so that he and Shep (Lou Gossett Jr.) were government agents.
 
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important to retrieve documents about an agreement between the Soviets and the nationalist Chinese to prevent the communist Chinese from finding them, which could disturb the peace between the two powers.
Intriguing MacGuffin.

He then probes Steve about his knowledge of his real father, who died when he was two (Steve having been raised by a stepfather; ultimately revealing that the pilot who reportedly bailed out of My Little Girl, leaving his crew to die, was Captain Carl Austin.
Once again, we are left to speculate, especially if Steve is the same age as Lee Majors. :rommie:

She doesn't know any more about the circumstances of his father's death, but she's certain that he wouldn't have abandoned his crew, because he wouldn't have been able to face his family--having never met Steve.
So if the plane went down during WWII as the capsule description states, then either Steve is younger than Lee or else Carl must have been with the Flying Tigers. Did the Flying Tigers operate in that area? Did they transport secret documents to and/or fro?

Chin-Ling (Sulu picked up another hobby)
Super groovy!

who knows about Steve's bionics and gives him some training before their flight.
Lots of prep scenes in these early episodes.

Chin disarms the single guard left to watch him, but is shot fleeing by the bandit leader
That's it? That's all the Sulu we get? Rip off!

Steve is found by Garth, an older American who's gone native
Coincidence? I think not.

Mamu (France Nguyen)
Another Trek alumna.

Garth insists on helping Steve due to avalanches.
Which roll downward in this part of the world.

That night, Garth is kept awake by flashbacks to the Zero attack that shot down My Little Girl despite her fighter escort.
Okay, so the Japanese wanted to destroy those documents, but I can't even guess as to why. But if the plane was shot down, why didn't everybody bail out? And if they had a fighter escort, their position should have been known, so a rescue or retrieval mission should have been sent. It can't be that remote if Steve and some guy can just scramble up there.

(You know where flashbacks to WWII footage take me...)
12 O'Clock High?

After Steve drives in a piton with his bionic arm, Garth asks Steve who he is
About time. :rommie:

Steve finds a body at the controls wearing dog tags that identify him as Christopher Bell.
Nah, he's probably the real Kent Allard. :rommie:

Steve sheds a tear, believing that this confirms that his father bailed out.
Was there just the two of them on board? I'm not understanding the problem of bailing out of a crashing plane.

Garth echoes Steve's mother's assertion that if Carl Austin did bail out, he wouldn't have returned home to face his family.
Presumably there's no question that Garth might turn out to be Carl, because Steve would know what he looks like, despite his age.

Steve learns that the corpse he just buried was his father's.
I wonder if Steve got to go back and recover the body, or if Carl is still up there.

Steve, his mother, and Oscar attend a military funeral at Arlington, Carl Austin's name having been cleared. Afterward Steve presents the dog tags to his mother, and she tells Steve that his father would have wanted him to have them. Steve walks outside and watches flight of F-4s overhead.
This was pretty nice, overall. Again, a personal story with no world conquerors or mad scientists. I'm not sure if the WWII stuff makes sense, but I'm sure you'll be able to clarify if it does.

The last we saw of Garth, he either died or fell unconscious. Dramatically speaking, I'm inclined to think it was the former, but the episode really didn't convey it clearly.
He's dead. :rommie: And hopefully Steve and the OSI took care of Mamu somehow and didn't just leave her alone in bandit-controlled territory. And hopefully they recovered poor Sulu's body. And hopefully Steve remembered to actually retrieve those vital documents. :rommie:

Dr. Chester Dolenz (Henry Jones)
There he is! :rommie:

and a Mr. Rossi (George Murdock)
A popular tough guy.

Steve tells Oscar that the elevator was rigged and speculates that it must have been by someone who knows he's bionic.
Which could be anybody at this point, Big Mouth.

Steve goes into clip episode mode, flashing back to Dr. Bacon questioning him about his bionics
They must have had a really tight budget this first season. :rommie:

and sends Steve on a vacation to rest.
"And I don't want you going anywhere near the super-villain HQ hidden in the mountains. Or the one at the bottom of Great Salt Lake. Or the international crime syndicate headquarters downtown."

Tom Molson (Noah Beery)
Rocky! As in Rockford's father, not that other guy.

(That's two flashbacks of scenes using the bionic sound effect--maybe somebody got the hint.)
Are they used the same in the flashbacks as they were originally, or are they doctored up?

by this point Oscar's treating him like the boy who cried wolf.
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar....

He then gets a call back from Oscar confirming that Dolenz is on the loose, was in Washington at the time of the construction site attempt, and is currently in Salt Lake City.
You'd think Oscar would be kept up to date on stuff like this automatically.

while Oscar alerts local authorities.
Isn't the Mad Scientist Robot Maker on the Most Wanted list or something? :rommie:

Steve goes out for a solo ride accompanied by a Western variation of the show's theme
Cute. :rommie:

Steve then bends out a nearby winch hook and uses it to pick into the cement, helping him to bust the barrel open.
I remember this part. That cement sure hardened quickly.

As he's tangling with the baddies, Tom and the posse catch up and prevent Steve from being shot.
That's kind of cool, Steve being saved by the posse.

Oscar shows up at the ranch to confirm that Dolenz got away
While it was great to have the Robot Maker back, I'm a little disappointed at the lack of actual robots.

I was wondering about that. Are honorary doctorates given in specific fields?
I'm not sure, but it seems like they would be.

Well, they weren't going to get into those things on this show, as they wanted to keep it grounded in the present-day real world.
Actually, Steve does run into aliens a couple of times, so it wouldn't be much of a stretch to have dolphins communicating with an extraterrestrial intelligence.

I just thought it was funny that an episode guest starring Shat presaged these elements being featured in Trek.
And, come to think of it, Harve Bennett was involved with both.

Could he list charges that hadn't been made yet?
The president seems to have a lot of latitude if he can pardon someone for unspecified crimes that he hasn't been charged with. I don't think there would be an issue with listing possible charges, especially if he added the blanket pardon at the end.

I think he did it the right way. However, I assume that he misspoke on camera when he listed the starting date of the pardon as July 20, 1969...presumably he meant January, Nixon's inauguration date.
I didn't even notice that. He pardoned him for taking credit for the Moon landing. :rommie:

More of a cheesy super-powered action-adventure show with a teenage lead character...initially with the setting being his high school life, but they retooled it in the second half of its only season so that he and Shep (Lou Gossett Jr.) were government agents.
Oh, yeah, I forgot about Lou Gossett being in it.
 


50th Anniversary Viewing



Shazam!
"The Joy Riders"
Originally aired September 7, 1974
Series premiere
Wiki said:
A young man must figure out what to do when his friends insist on stealing cars and going on joy rides.

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This was a relatively late addition as it only recently came to my attention that it was starting this season. I'm not exactly the target demographic these days, but I was then, and it would have been another seminal early superhero exposure for me. Basically, every episode is a little afterschool special. Billy (Michael Gray) and his mentor, known only as Mentor (Les Tremayne), travel the country (really just tooling around Southern California) in their motorhome with a Shazam logo on the front and engage in really low-level superheroics by helping generally well-meaning young people out of trouble along the way. Mentor isn't a character from the comics, but when the DC Shazam! comic of the time retooled itself to better resemble the series, they gave the existing character of Uncle Dudley a makeover to look more like him. I previously had a chance to reacquaint myself with the show as an adult about 20 years ago when TV Land was running it in a block of Saturday morning superhero programming on late Saturday night / early Sunday morning. One thing that struck me was how good a straight-up version of Cap's classic costume looks in full-color live action.

On a Saturday morning, a group of friends either wearing school colors or gang colors gathers on their bikes. After bespectacled, strawberry-haired Chuck Wagner (Kerry MacLane) arrives late, their banana-seated ringleader, Mike (Barry Miller), tells the others--including Kyle (Ty Henderson) and Rich (Lee Joe Casey)--that he knows where there's a car with keys in it; Chuck doesn't think joyriding is a good idea, but succumbs to peer pressure.

In the Shazamotorhome, Billy Batson mentions his job as a newscaster, and that he and Mentor are on vacation. (Are they on vacation for the entire series? There's no attempt to establish an ongoing excuse for the series premise.) The sound of thunder alerts them to an incoming message from the Elders, so they pull over, the mood light on their center dash starts to blink, and Billy goes into his Judeo-Greco-Roman vision.

Billy: Oh, Elders, fleet and strong and wise, appear before my seeking eyes.​

The elders are presented in animated form, voiced by Lou Scheimer, who also does the opening narration. They deliver some cryptic, foreshadowing wisdom about people needing to be themselves, which includes Achilles demonstrating that he's kept up on his reading over the millennia by quoting Shakespeare.

Mike takes the kids to the car, parked unlocked with its window open in a suburban driveway, and pulls it out. As the other kids are loading in, the motorhome happens down the street and a panicky Chuck is knocked off his feet and left behind as the car screeches off. Billy gets out to help Chuck, who runs off, Billy chasing after him. Kyle and Rich get nervous as Mike proves to not be as good a driver as he claims, screeching around corners and driving the wrong way down a one-way street. Chuck ends up sprawled on the pavement of an alley with the car speeding toward him, and Billy pushes him out of the way, following which Chuck runs off again. Now nursing a twisted ankle, Billy hobbles to a rendezvous with Mentor, who helps him to understand that Chuck's situation is what the Elders were talking about (accompanied by Billy going into a flashback of his vision). Mentor then kind of heavy-handedly puts on Billy the responsibility of turning around this kid he hasn't even exchanged proper introductions with.

Chuck catches up with the gang at a food stand, the car now ditched, and they lay into him for chickening out, which motivates him to reluctantly resolve to stay with them next time. Sometime later, the guys are making another stop inside a store for snacks when Chuck's bike is stolen, the others having teased him into not locking it. Billy and Mentor, who've been looking for Chuck all day, find him wandering a parking lot looking for his bike and offer to help. He shares with them about how his friends talked him into doing something he didn't want to, and after another flashback, Billy passes on the Elders' wisdom to Chuck, not quoting Shakespeare verbatim. After an attempt at finding the bike in the motorhome and notifying the police, they let Chuck out in the parking lot, where he meets up with the guys just as they're scoping out their next ride. Billy notices the scuffle as the others force a reluctant Chuck into the car, then screech off.

Billy: Holy moley! They better be stopped before someone's hurt!​

Billy gets out and says his magic word right there in the parking lot--his proximity to the motorhome partially covering him--which changes him into Captain Marvel (Jackson Bostwick), who takes to stock flying shots to look for the car, way up above the smog and in the clouds. After he spots them, the kids see Captain Marvel diving down after them and Mike ducks the car into a junkyard, where the kids bail and hide in a nearby junked van...not noticing the running crane looming ominously over it. Chuck's trying to convince the others to face the music as Cap, not having X-ray vision, looks around the yard on foot trying to find them. When the crane grabs and lifts the van, he hears the kids crying out, grabs the front bumper, and forces the van back down long enough for them to bail out.
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(The crane operator is neither shown nor addressed.) He tells them that their fate will be up to the juvenile authorities and commends Chuck for not wanting to go along. The others admit that they were wrong as a siren is heard approaching in the background.

Sz02.jpg
In a regular feature of the show's format, the coda has one of the cast members--in this case Cap--delivering the moral of the story directly to the audience.

Cap: Hi. Today we've proved how important it is to do what you think's right, and not let others con you into doing something dumb just by calling you names. Remember, it often takes more courage to do what's right than it does to go along with the crowd. See you next week.​

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Star Trek
"The Pirates of Orion"
Originally aired September 7, 1974
Animated Series Season 2 premiere
Wiki said:
Spock contracts a fatal illness, and the cure can only be found with dangerous Orion pirates.

TAS's second season consists of only six new episodes, so we'll get through these pretty quickly.

Captain's log, stardate 6334.1: The outbreak of choriocytosis aboard the Enterprise seems to be under control. Dr. McCoy says the disease is no longer even as serious as pneumonia, and there should be no problem completing our present mission, representing the Federation at the dedication ceremonies for the new academy of science on Deneb V.

Spock soon collapses on the bridge, and McCoy determines that the virus is suffocating his copper-based blood cells. The only effective treatment is a rare, naturally occurring drug called strobolin. With time being a factor, they arrange to have the transport SS Huron meet them with a supply of the drug. Spock is up and on part-time duty while receiving less effective treatment using a synthetic.

While racing toward its rendezvous, the Huron detects a ship pursuing them.
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Captain O'Shea is voiced by Doohan; the lieutenants by Takei and Barrett.

Captain's log, stardate 6335.6: The Huron has been left as space junk, its engines sabotaged. Captain O'Shea has no idea who attacked his ship, but the intruder must be found, and the precious cargo retrieved.

Arex is unable to identify the attacking ship from the tapes, but the Enterprise follows a trail of radioactive waste that its engines leave into a field of highly unstable asteroids. The enemy ship attacks with relatively weak phasers, and Arex recognizes its markings as Orion (infamously pronounced by all in the episode as OH-ree-on). Making contact with the Orion captain (Doohan), Kirk cites the previous encounter with Orions in "Journey to Babel". Sensors confirm that they have the Huron's regular cargo of dilithium, and Kirk negotiates with the captain to let the Orions keep the dilithium if they'll deliver the drug. The Orion captain, concerned with maintaining Orion's official neutrality, agrees to a face-to-face delivery to Kirk on an asteroid. Kirk cautiously agrees, suspecting treachery; while the Orion captain plots to detonate the asteroid, taking both ships with it.

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The Orion officers are voiced by an uncredited Norm Prescott.



Intriguing MacGuffin.
Pretty much all it was.

Once again, we are left to speculate, especially if Steve is the same age as Lee Majors. :rommie:
He was two in 1941, and the mission was in 1945. That's not far off at all by TV casting standards.

That's it? That's all the Sulu we get? Rip off!
Yeah, he was offed like a punk...but he would have been a third wheel after that point in the story.

Another Trek alumna.
As was Ron Soble (Wyatt Earp).

Okay, so the Japanese wanted to destroy those documents, but I can't even guess as to why.
Not necessarily; it was wartime, they were going after enemy aircraft. But they could have been going after them over their mission--the Chinese and Russians teaming up would have been against Japan's interests.

But if the plane was shot down, why didn't everybody bail out? And if they had a fighter escort, their position should have been known, so a rescue or retrieval mission should have been sent. It can't be that remote if Steve and some guy can just scramble up there.
The location of the plane was uncovered by the earthquake. I guess the bail-out was premature, while the crew still had a chance. Steve's mom (billed as Helen Elgin on IMDb, though I didn't catch a name being dropped) specified that there were two other guys on the crew. We never saw their bodies or got clear acknowledgment that they were found, but at the end of the burial, Steve and Garth were digging in separate spots.

12 O'Clock High?
Macho Grande.
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Nah, he's probably the real Kent Allard. :rommie:
Had to look that one up.

Presumably there's no question that Garth might turn out to be Carl, because Steve would know what he looks like, despite his age.
I think that they were trying to tease the audience into thinking that at one point.

And hopefully Steve remembered to actually retrieve those vital documents. :rommie:
He did.

"And I don't want you going anywhere near the super-villain HQ hidden in the mountains. Or the one at the bottom of Great Salt Lake. Or the international crime syndicate headquarters downtown."
:lol:

Rocky! As in Rockford's father, not that other guy.
Ah.

Are they used the same in the flashbacks as they were originally, or are they doctored up?
They were both scenes in which they'd been used in the original episodes.

You'd think Oscar would be kept up to date on stuff like this automatically.

Isn't the Mad Scientist Robot Maker on the Most Wanted list or something? :rommie:
You'd think.

I didn't even notice that. He pardoned him for taking credit for the Moon landing. :rommie:
Heh...I didn't even notice that.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about Lou Gossett being in it.
Even as a kid who was into the super-power angle, I knew he was the best thing on the show.
 
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Here's another case of my memory failing me. I just checked Wiki and SWAT doesn't even start until 1975. It was basically on concurrently with Starsky & Hutch, and I would have guessed that it had come and gone by then. Of course, I never actually watched SWAT, so my memory of it is less vivid. Anyway, I guess that makes Kevin Tighe the bigger TV star at this point.
I'm sure I watched an episode or two of SWAT and Starsky & Hutch when they originally aired, but being four/five years old at the time, it was probably past my bedtime and/or my parents were watching something else.
 
Carl must have been with the Flying Tigers. Did the Flying Tigers operate in that area? Did they transport secret documents to and/or fro?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hump

More than likely, the producers/writers were thinking about the Allied missions flying from India over the Himalayan mountains to the Chinese forces opposing the Japanese occupation.

As a side note, one of my co-workers second husbands was a WWII pilot who regularly flew missions over The Hump to resupply the Chinese forces fighting the Japanese.

This is kind of where it gets interesting, before the war, Henry "Hank" Reverman, opened, owned, and operated the Blue Moon Tavern in the UW District in Seattle, WA.

He opened the tavern in 1934, the year after Prohibition ended in the US. When Ken Burns did his documentary series on Prohibition, he came to Seattle and interviewed Hank at the Blue Moon Tavern, where Hank talked the speakeasy his father used to have and about the rum runners who would smuggle in alcohol from Canada.

He was also a pilot who volunteered to ferry supplies over The Hump before the US officially entered the war and continued to do so once the US did enter and he received a field promotion to Captain for his services.

After the war he continued to operate the Blue Moon Tavern and was a co-founder of Kenmore Air, which flies passengers to the San Juan Island, Canada, and Alaska. He lived to be almost one hundred years old.
 
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Shazam!
"The Joy Riders"
Originally aired September 7, 1974
Series premiere

Again, another show I remember watching Saturday morning, but probably in re-runs. I remember it being paired with Isis in its second/third season.

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Oh, yeah. That would have been another cool plot thread to follow up on someday. They could have proved that Josh was right.
Well, they weren't going to get into those things on this show, as they wanted to keep it grounded in the present-day real world.
Actually, Steve does run into aliens a couple of times, so it wouldn't be much of a stretch to have dolphins communicating with an extraterrestrial intelligence.

Yeah, both Steve and Jamie encountered aliens during the course of their respective series - the aliens who controlled Sasquatch/Bigfoot being the most obvious example. Stephanie Powers and Sandy Duncan being the two I remember.
 
I'm not exactly the target demographic these days, but I was then, and it would have been another seminal early superhero exposure for me.
I saw it once, maybe twice. It didn't much appeal to me, obviously. Way too mainstream, and aimed at kids.

Billy (Michael Gray) and his mentor, known only as Mentor (Les Tremayne), travel the country (really just tooling around Southern California) in their motorhome
I'm surprised the network didn't insist that Aunt Harriet go with them. :rommie:

Mentor isn't a character from the comics, but when the DC Shazam! comic of the time retooled itself to better resemble the series, they gave the existing character of Uncle Dudley a makeover to look more like him.
I hate when they do stuff like that.

One thing that struck me was how good a straight-up version of Cap's classic costume looks in full-color live action.
Superhero stuff can look good in live action. I'm sure I've said this before, but my idea of the perfect superhero show or movie would look like the 60s Batman show and be written at the level of Englehart or Busiek or whatever.

In the Shazamotorhome
There are so many ways to pronounce that. :rommie:

(Are they on vacation for the entire series? There's no attempt to establish an ongoing excuse for the series premise.)
They just wander around doing good deeds, like Caine.

The sound of thunder alerts them to an incoming message from the Elders
"Billy, I've asked you to change that ring tone."

Billy goes into his Judeo-Greco-Roman vision.
Super-groovius!

Achilles demonstrating that he's kept up on his reading over the millennia by quoting Shakespeare.
:rommie:

Mike takes the kids to the car, parked unlocked with its window open in a suburban driveway
Either this takes place in a more innocent time or else the guy came home stoned out of his mind.

Chuck ends up sprawled on the pavement of an alley with the car speeding toward him
Somehow it feels like the gods are manipulating all this. :rommie:

Chuck's situation is what the Elders were talking about (accompanied by Billy going into a flashback of his vision)
In case we forgot.

Mentor then kind of heavy-handedly puts on Billy the responsibility of turning around this kid he hasn't even exchanged proper introductions with.
"He ain't heavy, Billy...."

After an attempt at finding the bike in the motorhome
It's probably not there, but the light is better.

Billy: Holy moley! They better be stopped before someone's hurt!
At least they kept the "Holy Moley." I'll give them credit for that.

(The crane operator is neither shown nor addressed.)
Again I sense the manipulations of the gods.

The others admit that they were wrong as a siren is heard approaching in the background.
Sirens will do that to you. :rommie:

Cap: Hi. Today we've proved how important it is to do what you think's right, and not let others con you into doing something dumb just by calling you names. Remember, it often takes more courage to do what's right than it does to go along with the crowd. See you next week.
"To the adults in the audience: This applies to politics."

Captain's log, stardate 6334.1: The outbreak of choriocytosis aboard the Enterprise seems to be under control.
The crew was breaking out in excessive placental tissue?!?

Spock soon collapses on the bridge
I'm hardly surprised! He probably has an umbilical cord wrapped around his neck! :rommie:

McCoy determines that the virus is suffocating his copper-based blood cells.
Nice continuity. They're better with alien biology than they are with terrestrial biology. :rommie:

While racing toward its rendezvous, the Huron detects a ship pursuing them.
I see they're using unique mission patches. :bolian:

Captain O'Shea is voiced by Doohan
Of course he is. :rommie:

Arex recognizes its markings as Orion (infamously pronounced by all in the episode as OH-ree-on)
Wow, nobody in the cast or crew caught that?

the Orion captain plots to detonate the asteroid, taking both ships with it.
That seems more Romulan than Orion.

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That was subtle. It looks like they beamed up the dilithium crystals first to prevent the bomb from going off, before beaming up the guys separately. I didn't catch it till the second time I watched it.

Pretty much all it was.
Which was a little disappointing.

He was two in 1941, and the mission was in 1945. That's not far off at all by TV casting standards.
No, that's not bad.

Yeah, he was offed like a punk...but he would have been a third wheel after that point in the story.
It's a shame they didn't just cut away and then have him turn up at the end, dragging the bandit by the feet or something.

As was Ron Soble (Wyatt Earp).
Ah, I don't recognize his name, but I probably would have recognized his face.

Not necessarily; it was wartime, they were going after enemy aircraft. But they could have been going after them over their mission--the Chinese and Russians teaming up would have been against Japan's interests.
Hmm, true. I think they had some sort of a pact for most of the war.

We never saw their bodies or got clear acknowledgment that they were found, but at the end of the burial, Steve and Garth were digging in separate spots.
So everybody else died in the crash. Doesn't entirely make sense to me, but who knows what actually happened.

Macho Grande.
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Ah, but of course. :rommie:

Had to look that one up.
Yeah, it was a bit obscure. :rommie:

I think that they were trying to tease the audience into thinking that at one point.
I was wondering.

That's good. I was afraid they had forgotten their own MacGuffin by then. :rommie:

Even as a kid who was into the super-power angle, I knew he was the best thing on the show.
:rommie:

I'm sure I watched an episode or two of SWAT and Starsky & Hutch when they originally aired, but being four/five years old at the time, it was probably past my bedtime and/or my parents were watching something else.
I know I must have watched SWAT, because I remember the title sequence, but I don't remember any episodes. I started watching Starsky & Hutch toward the end of the first season because my nickname was Hutch and I was benefitting from the second-hand coolness (I was in junior high). Turned out to be one of my favorite shows of the time.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hump

More than likely, the producers/writers were thinking about the Allied missions flying from India over the Himalayan mountains to the Chinese forces opposing the Japanese occupation.
Thank you, that's very interesting. It does make a bit more sense now, although I still wonder why they were entrusted with those documents.

As a side note, one of my co-workers second husbands was a WWII pilot who regularly flew missions over The Hump to resupply the Chinese forces fighting the Japanese.

This is kind of where it gets interesting, before the war, Henry "Hank" Reverman, opened, owned, and operated the Blue Moon Tavern in the UW District in Seattle, WA.

He opened the tavern in 1934, the year after Prohibition ended in the US. When Ken Burns did his documentary series on Prohibition, he came to Seattle and interviewed Hank at the Blue Moon Tavern, where Hank talked the speakeasy his father used to have and about the rum runners who would smuggle in alcohol from Canada.

He was also a pilot who volunteered to ferry supplies over The Hump before the US officially entered the war and continued to do so once the US did enter and he received a field promotion to Captain for his services.

After the war he continued to operate the Blue Moon Tavern and was a co-founder of Kenmore Air, which flies passengers to the San Juan Island, Canada, and Alaska. He lived to be almost one hundred years old.
That's a great story. What an amazing life. It's like real-world Pulp fiction.

Stephanie Powers and Sandy Duncan being the two I remember.
Oh, yeah, I think I remember that. Stephanie Powers, at least.
 
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That guy keeps going on about how the show's morals would be condescending to anyone over 12...maybe that's because they weren't meant for kids over 12. I was between 4 and 6 when I watched it.

and aimed at kids.
Exactly! And you would've been around 13-15 at the time, right?

I hate when they do stuff like that.
In this case, it wasn't too bad. They gave him a mustache and had him wearing Mentor's outfit, but he was still recognizably drawn as Uncle Dudley.

Superhero stuff can look good in live action.
Could've used more of a metallic gold for the yellow parts of the costume, though, like Alex Ross illustrates Cap.

They just wander around doing good deeds, like Caine.
Caine didn't have a regular job that he had to get back to.

Either this takes place in a more innocent time or else the guy came home stoned out of his mind.
It's the '70s, could be both.

"To the adults in the audience: This applies to politics."
Yeah, there are way too many adults these days that could use some talking-down-to by Captain Marvel...

The crew was breaking out in excessive placental tissue?!?

I'm hardly surprised! He probably has an umbilical cord wrapped around his neck! :rommie:
Medical humor, har-har.

That seems more Romulan than Orion.
Remember, the Orion ship in "Babel" self-destructed and their spy committed suicide.

That was subtle. It looks like they beamed up the dilithium crystals first to prevent the bomb from going off, before beaming up the guys separately. I didn't catch it till the second time I watched it.
Yeah, that definitely was not clearly conveyed...due to animation limitations, no doubt.

Ah, I don't recognize his name, but I probably would have recognized his face.
I wouldn't have without the IMDb listing. He was yellow-faced up here.

So everybody else died in the crash. Doesn't entirely make sense to me, but who knows what actually happened.
It makes less sense the more I think about it. Particularly if Bell bailed prematurely, what are the chances that he'd land close enough to know where the plane crashed?

I was wondering.
Steve never seemed to consider it, though.
 
Exactly! And you would've been around 13-15 at the time, right?
Yes, in September 1974 I was 13.

In this case, it wasn't too bad. They gave him a mustache and had him wearing Mentor's outfit, but he was still recognizably drawn as Uncle Dudley.
Oh, okay. I did have a handful of those SHAZAM issues, because I liked the retro style, but at that point I wouldn't have known the difference. Actually, it's possible that I stopped buying them before the change. I'm not sure exactly when I got them.

Could've used more of a metallic gold for the yellow parts of the costume, though, like Alex Ross illustrates Cap.
Alex Ross generally does a good job of mixing realism with the colorful nature of superheroes.

Caine didn't have a regular job that he had to get back to.
True. :rommie:

It's the '70s, could be both.
"Whoa, I don't think that was really a vitamin pill at all."

Yeah, there are way too many adults these days that could use some talking-down-to by Captain Marvel...
Indeed. :rommie:

Medical humor, har-har.
They obviously just strung together some medical-sounding syllables to make a word, but the specific syllables made me wonder if the writer had experience with a difficult pregnancy in the past. There are real-world medical conditions that sound similar, like chorioamnionitis.

Remember, the Orion ship in "Babel" self-destructed and their spy committed suicide.
Oh, that's right. I forgot that guy was a disguised Orion.

Yeah, that definitely was not clearly conveyed...due to animation limitations, no doubt.
I rewatched it because Scotty said "Energize" and nothing happened, and then Kirk said "Energize" and they were beamed up. I thought it was an editing mistake and then I noticed Scotty holding the baseball-sized crystals.

It makes less sense the more I think about it. Particularly if Bell bailed prematurely, what are the chances that he'd land close enough to know where the plane crashed?
Good point.

Steve never seemed to consider it, though.
Yeah, I was thinking he would probably recognize his dad from pictures even if he was thirty years older.
 
Yes, in September 1974 I was 13.
And speaking from my own experience, I was all but done with Saturday morning programming around 13. I may have still been catching the odd major superhero cartoon (namely Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends and the Hulk cartoon of the time). I was probably completely done sometime at 14.

Oh, okay. I did have a handful of those SHAZAM issues, because I liked the retro style, but at that point I wouldn't have known the difference. Actually, it's possible that I stopped buying them before the change. I'm not sure exactly when I got them.
I don't know a lot about the comic series prior to my first issues of it at least a couple of years later, at which point they were doing original stories with the restyling to resemble the show. I was scrolling through a database to find those issues, and it looks like they may have been reprinting Golden Age stories prior to that.

Alex Ross generally does a good job of mixing realism with the colorful nature of superheroes.
Though he sometimes indulges in his own interpretations, like depicting the Sub-Mariner completely naked and the Spectre trunkless.

I suppose it's possible that we're just catching adventure highlights from a few years' worth of summer road trips.

There are real-world medical conditions that sound similar, like chorioamnionitis.
Now you're just showing off. :p Betcha can't say that five times fast!

Yeah, I was thinking he would probably recognize his dad from pictures even if he was thirty years older.
Notably, they didn't give us a good look at one, though Steve seemed to be looking at one on his mother's mantle.

On the subject of TV actors of the day who are still with us, it looks like Barbara Bain turned 93 today--Congrats on not self-destructing! :beer:
 
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And speaking from my own experience, I was all but done with Saturday morning programming around 13. I may have still been catching the odd major superhero cartoon (namely Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends and the Hulk cartoon of the time). I was probably completely done sometime at 14.
And I think we established that Hong Kong Phooey was my last foray into Saturday morning cartoons (and that premiered this year too).

I don't know a lot about the comic series prior to my first issues of it at least a couple of years later, at which point they were doing original stories with the restyling to resemble the show. I was scrolling through a database to find those issues, and it looks like they may have been reprinting Golden Age stories prior to that.
Yes, the stories were all by CC Beck and I assume they were all reprints (although he was still alive then). Looking at a cover gallery, I had issues 1,3, 4, and 6.

Though he sometimes indulges in his own interpretations, like depicting the Sub-Mariner completely naked and the Spectre trunkless.
As long as he throws in Namorita, I'm cool with that. :rommie:

Now you're just showing off. :p Betcha can't say that five times fast!
Heh. I probably have. It's a fairly common complication. :rommie:

Notably, they didn't give us a good look at one, though Steve seemed to be looking at one on his mother's mantle.
Funny they didn't use a picture of Lee Majors with a period hairstyle or something.

On the subject of TV actors of the day who are still with us, it looks like Barbara Bain turned 93 today--Congrats on not self-destructing! :beer:
Good for her. At least I hope so. Hopefully she's doing well.

Also, yesterday was Friday the 13th-- and the 50th anniversary of the Friday-the-13th premiere of The Night Stalker.

Kolchak-Candles-1.jpg


"There are way too many candles on that cake."
 
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