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The 20 Worst Toy Makeovers

Dusty Ayres

Dusty Ayres

Commodore
Yes, we tell the world we had kids "because we wanted them," but we also had an ulterior motive: to fill our house with all the toys we loved as kids. Then the toy marketing companies went and ruined it all. Classic toy remakes have sent parents rushing to the stores to stock up on their best memories, only to find that the new and improved version is really a hunk of junk. Here are twenty once-great toys that should have been left alone.
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The 20 Worst Toy Makeovers

Big whiny babies, crying over toys that aren't really theirs anymore-this is THE worst article of 2008. Agree or disagree?
 
I don't really care either way. The new version of Strawberry Shortcake was kinda cute though.
 
The only one that bothered me was Polly Pocket, because I've seen it then and now, and the older version was actually more fun to play with. It was a substantial change.

But I can't believe they are complaining about things like Slinky and Hacky Sack. Seriously?!
 
Spot's Meow said:
The only one that bothered me was Polly Pocket, because I've seen it then and now, and the older version was actually more fun to play with. It was a substantial change.

But I can't believe they are complaining about things like Slinky and Hacky Sack. Seriously?!
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Like I said before: Big whiny babies, crying over toys that aren't really theirs anymore.
 
I for one am glad about some of the updates. My old Star Wars figures sucked, with virtually no articulation and awful facial reproduction. I wish I was a kid right now so I could play with some of the cool stuff they have out now..

I also have to agree with the new slinkies.. The plastic version sucks... It plays nowhere near as well as the metal coil.
 
I just find it amusing that the argument against the new "slip n' slide" seems to be that old people are afraid of sharks.
 
Hey, waitaminute...speaking of the Slip 'n Slide, I just watched Indy Jones/Crystal Skull and when Indy was in the fake town in Nevada they were about to perform an A-Bomb test at, they had dummies set up doing normal-life things.

That included kids in the yard on a Slip 'n Slide.

But if that movie was supposed to be set in 1957 and the Slip 'n Slide wasn't introduced until 1961, holy CHRIST I can't be expected to truly believe ANYTHING in another Indy Jones movie! :mad:
 
They are correct to complain about the Etch-a-Sketch. That's like making OREOs square or Coke pink for no reason. Lame.

The other 19 are fine and the list-writers need to get over themselves.
 
I thought some of those old versions looked rather plain and dull compared to the newer ones.
 
I hate the new Holly Hobbie. She's not supposed to be a hip pre-teen- she's supposed to be a simple country girl! I wonder what the original artist (named Holly Hobbie herself) thought of the update.
 
Some of those I agree with, others I disagree with, others I had never even heard of the original product. As for the article itself, I guess it was OK. I wasn't sure what he was going for. Some had serious reasons why he didn't like the change, others had more joking ones, but there was no consistency on whether or not the article was meant to be humorous or not.

Also, haven't plastic slinkies been around for 10-15 years?
 
^Plastic Slinky was around when I was in elementary school, and I'm 32. But they don't work as well as the metal ones.

A few other thoughts.

They've been making dozens of version of Monopoly for decades now and you can still buy the normal one. Hell, you can still buy the original, a copy of the first model. Can't beat that if you're some kind of stuffy purist.


My Little Pony was doing crazy shit with their ponies even back in the 80s. Neon, multicoloured hair, sparkle designs, wings, horns, costumes etc.

The care bears are more about their message than anything else and they're still cute. No foul there. At least the kids in the cartoons don't creep me the fuck out like the ones in the old one did.

The new Cabbage Patch dolls look plain cheap compared to the old ones, never mind that they're "thinner".

I've often commented that the newer Tonka Trucks suck compared to the solid metal ones I had. Sure they were probably a bit easier to injure yourself on, but they were nearly indestructible. They'd rust and get beat to shit but you could play with them in any kind of dirt for years. The new ones are just plastic with a few flimsy metal pieces.

You can buy a knitted hacky sack bag anywhere, and me and my friends had leather hacks, suede hacks, synthetic knits, etc. 15 years ago. Again, what's the problem?

The Etch A Sketch is lame, but you can still buy the original. In fact, several of these products can still be found.

A lot of these complaints (like Lincoln logs) seem to be more about the packaging than anything else. You can still build whatever out of the logs, adding extra things diminishes nothing. I've played with a Spirograph at my newphew's house about a year ago and I couldn't see any difference. Even the pic they should doesn't look any different so I'm not sure what they are talking about there.

I still have my GloWorm (which really was better looking), and it still works. Talking Alf doesn't though. :lol:
 
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