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The 1st Annual Golden Gormaganders

Lord Garth

Admiral
Admiral
The 1st Annual Golden Gormaganders
Written by Roland Khorshidianzadeh (a.k.a. Lord Garth)

Lord Garth: Friends, Trekkies, Trekkers, and Disco Fans, I present to you the 1st Golden Gormaganders!!!

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Audience Applause

Lord Garth: "Let's get this party started!"

Cue "Rhythm Nation" by Janet Jackson.


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Thunderous Audience Applause

Lord Garth waits for it to die down. Then continues.

Lord Garth: Isn't great to have a Star Trek series back on the air again? And a Star Trek series that kicks ass!

Audience Applause

Lord Garth: First, I want to break the fourth wall and thank @Succubint and @Orac for helping me out to sort the Awards. I couldn't have done it without them.

Audience Applause

Lord Garth: And I want to thank the mods, @Locutus of Bored , @cultcross , and @{ Emilia } for putting up with us!

Audience Applause

*** Part I: Main Categories ***

Lord Garth:
We're starting off with our Part One, our Main Categories. And our presenters for the first category are Doctor Crusher and Commander Riker, for Best Actor.

Audience Applause

Riker: I may be surrounded by insanity but I am not insane!

Crusher: Will, Will, we're here to judge other actors' acting.

Riker: Nothing you can do will change the fact that I'm innocent!

Beverly is speechless.

Riker: I guess I got carried away...

Crusher: Well maybe some of these actors can give you some pointers, afterwards. ;)

1. Best Actor

  • Jason Isaacs
  • Doug Jones
  • Sonequa Martin Green
Crusher: And the winner is… Jason Isaacs!

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Audience Applause

Riker: I'd love to invite him to our weekly poker game.

Crusher: I don't know. I'd be a little bit suspicious of someone who'd dare someone not to call his bluff... but Discovery won't be the same without him!

Riker: Everyone give out a hand for Jason Isaacs!

Audience Applause

Lord Garth: Our next presenters are Dukat and Seska for Best Antagonist!

Audience Applause

Dukat: I must say that I have to express my disappointment at being lumped together with someone who was a mere spy who ended up hitched with such a boorish brute like Maje Culluh. How unbecoming.

Seska: You of all people want to talk about "unbecoming"? I'm not the one who blasted at imaginary enemies. I did what I had to do to survive in the Delta Quadrant. Do you know what it's like being stuck 70,000 light years away?

Dukat: Pity that. I bet you wish you had the Discovery's spore drive at your disposal. I suppose --

Seska (cutting him off): That we should get into the nominations for Best Antagonist!

2. Best Antagonist
  • Harry Mudd
  • Emperor Georgiou
  • L'Rell
  • T'Kuvma
  • Lorca
Dukat: And the winner is… Harry Mudd!

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Audience Applause

Seska (sarcastic): Yay.

Lord Garth: And now our next presenters, Spock and McCoy, for Best Character Scene!

Audience Applause

McCoy: Spock, you never told me you had a sister.

Spock: That is quite correct, Doctor. I merely have a foster-sister.

McCoy: And I suppose there's a totally and perfectly "logical" reason for your never even talking about her before.

Spock: Eminently logical and completely irrelevant to the Best Character Scene.

3. Best Character Scene
  • Lorca convinces Burnham to serve again
  • Lorca Don't Care
  • Burnham/Georgiou hologram last will
  • When Lorca holds Cornwell at gunpoint in "Lethe" and she wonders who he is any more
  • Sarek's choice in "Lethe"
  • Burnham comforts Tyler who is suffering from PTSD
McCoy: And the winner is… when Lorca holds Cornwell at gunpoint in “Lethe”!

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Audience Applause!

Spock: As I have said before, Terrans are a splendid example of Homo Sapiens.

Lord Garth: And now our next presenters, Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres for Best Couple!

Audience Applause

Torres: The Best Couple! I wonder if they're as good of a couple as we are?

Paris: Well, whoever it is, I say we go on a double-date and take them to a movie.

Torres: Why don't we see who it is first, so we'll know if they don't mind 3-D glasses, Tom?

4. Best Couple
  • Stamets/Culber
  • Voq/L'Rell
  • Burnham/Tyler
Paris: And the winner is… Stamets/Culber!


G04%20Stamets%20and%20Culber_zpss8jpdmdl.jpg


Audience Applause

Torres: They're really cute together!

Paris: If they can handle the Mycelial Network, then a 3-D movie is nothing.

Torres: Can't argue with that!

Lord Garth: And our next presenters are Chakotay and Seven of Nine for Worst Couple!

Audience Applause

Chakotay: What was I thinking?

Seven: Our temporary bonding made even less sense than Lieutenant Worf's and Counselor Troi's. Quite inefficient.

Chakotay: Excuse me? "Inefficient"?

Seven ignores him.

Chakotay: Alrighty then. Here are the nominations for Worst Couple. At least for Discovery...

5. Worst Couple
  • Sarek /Amanda
  • Tyler/L'Rell
  • MU Lorca/Burnham
Seven: And the "winner" is… MU Lorca/Burnham!


G05%20Lorca%20with%20Burnham_zpsasp0lkqe.png


Tepid Applause

Chakotay: Okay, I guess it really could be worse.

Seven: I believe this is our cue to "exit stage left".

Lord Garth: Our next presenters for Best Death -- at least for Discovery and TV -- are Ensign Muniz and Ensign Sito Jaxa!

Audience Applause

Sito: It's an honor to present this award and an honor to be remembered!

Muniz: And now we remember those who gave their life in the line of duty, Starfleet or otherwise.

6. Best Death
  • Lorca's timeloop deaths
  • Lorca in "What's Past Is Prologue"
  • Vulcan Extremist
  • Prime Landry
  • Prime Georgiou
  • T'Kuvma
Sito: And the winner is… Lorca’s Timeloop Deaths?

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Audience Applause

Awkward reaction from Sito and Muniz.

Muniz: Ummm....

Sito: Moving right along now...

Lord Garth: And our Presenters for our next category, Worst Death, are Tasha Yar and Trip Tucker!

Audience Applause

Yar: Who could have a worse death than being flung to the ground by an oil-slick?

Tucker: You're seriously going to ask me that?

Yar: I'm so sorry! I forgot about that!

Tucker: No worries. I don't blame you. I try to put "These Are the Voyages" out of my mind myself. Try.

7. Worst Death
  • Lorca in "What's Past Is Prologue"
  • Prime Landry
  • Prime Georgiou
  • Hugh Culber
Yar: And the "winner" is… Hugh Culber!

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Tepid Audience Applause

Tucker: I feel for you, Hugh! (holds up a glass) Cheers.

Lord Garth: And now a commercial break before we get back into it!

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Lord Garth: Back from our break! And now, in honor of Michael Burnham coming up with a better way to end the Klingon War and L'Rell agreeing to it, let's cue up this number from En Vogue called Free Your Mind!

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Audience Applause!

Lord Garth: And now on with the show! Presenting for Best Episode are Benny Russell and Commander Shelby!

Audience Applause

Doctor Wykoff is in the background, watching Benny Russell.

Shelby: From "The Best of Both Worlds" to the Best Episode of Discovery! There might have been a lot of obstacles in putting this series together but they didn't listen to anyone who was in their way.

Benny: So many stories! But which one was the best of the best?

Shelby (pointing to Wykoff): Who's that over there?

Benny: Don't mind him.

8. Best Episode
  • "Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad"
  • "Context is for Kings"
  • "Into the Forest I Go"
  • "What's Past is Prologue"
  • "Vaulting Ambition"
Benny: And the winner is… “Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad”!

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Wykoff: Okay, Benny! Come with me now.

Benny: Come with you?

Wykoff: None of this is real. You're not sane if you think it is. You need help.

Benny: You're the one who's not real! And I'm completely sane!

Wykoff: Then apparently even the sanest men really do go mad! It's just a TV show! It's just a TV show!

Shelby: Not tonight it isn't!

Shelby stuns Wkyoff. The audience applauses.

Lord Garth: Not that I hope so, but is he okay?

Shelby: I just stunned him.

Lord Garth: Okay, great. Our presenters for the next category, Worst Episode, are two Eymorg from "Spock's Brain".

Audience Applause

Luma, presses a button on her wrist-bracelet and two salon chairs appear from out of nowhere.

Lord Garth: Why do you need do your hair right now?

Luma: Do our hair? No. The Controller told us to sit down in these chairs.

Lord Garth: The Controller? Oh... right. How long is this supposed to take?

Kara: It is instantaneous.

Kara and Luma fasten themselves in and then, within moments, get out from the chairs. Luma presses another button on her wrist-bracelet and the salon chairs disappear again.

Luma: Much better!

Kara: We are here to present the awards for Worst Episode.

Luma: Yes, and despite the category Garth stuck us with, his invitation for us to be Presenters was very gracious.

9. Worst Episode
  • "Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum"
  • "Will You Take My Hand?"
  • "Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad"
  • "Battle at the Binary Stars"
Kara: And the winner is… “Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum”!

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Tepid Applause

Luma: Not such a bad episode, in my opinion.

Kara: Nor in mine.

More enthusiastic applause!

Lord Garth: I couldn't agree with you more! And now for Best Line! Presenting this award are The Doctor and Garak.

Audience Applause

The Doctor: The Best Line! A category I couldn't be better suited for.

Garak: Oh spare me from your smug, computer-simulated arrogance.

The Doctor: It's not arrogance when you have the minds of literary giants in you and all the greatest stories ever told on instant recall.

Garak: Federation "giants", Doctor. Nothing compares to the consummately exceptional, not to mention masterfully adroit Cardassian tale The Never Ending Sacrifice.

The Doctor: If you call that "literature"...

Garak: We can quibble about this as much as we like later on but right now we have an Award to present.

The Doctor: Oh, we'll more than "quibble" I'm sure!

10. Best Line
  • "First of all, um, so I'm very high, uh... but you need to listen to me." -- Tilly, "Will You Take My Hand?"
  • "It can be only what it is, not what you want it to be"
  • "Hello, this is Captain Tilly. What the heck... hell? What the hell? Hold your horses!"
  • “This is so fucking cool”
  • “It is well-known that my species has the ability to sense the coming of death. I do not sense it today. I may not have all the answers. However, I do know that I am surrounded by a team I trust — the finest a captain could ever hope to command. Lorca abused our idealism. Make no mistake: Discovery is no longer Lorca's. She is ours. And today will be her maiden voyage. We have a duty to perform, and we will not accept a no-win scenario.” Saru, What's Past is Prologue
Garak: And the winner is… (pauses)...

The Doctor: Well, what is it?

Garak: It's um, you're not going to believe this.

The Doctor: Why wouldn't I? What could the line possibly be?

Garak: Right. And the winner is... “This is so fucking cool”!

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Audience Applause!

The Doctor: "This is so" what?!

Garak: Yes, Doctor. "This is so f___ing cool!"

More Audience Applause!

The Doctor: Who wrote that? Mister Paris?!

Garak: I weep for the future. What is this generation coming to?

Lord Garth tries his hardest not to laugh at Garak and The Doctor.

Lord Garth: I think this is a good spot to have another Commercial Break! :D

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Lord Garth: Sorry for the delay. I think Garak and The Doctor will be okay... While we set things up for the next round of categories, we're just going to Hold On like Wilson Phillips.

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Lord Garth: Jumping back into this. Like right about now, "Funk Soul Brother!"

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Audience Applause

Lord Garth: Picking up where we left off, our presenters for Worst Line, Captain Archer and back again is B'Elana Torres!

Audience Applause

Archer: Thank you, everyone! Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. You know, I saw a gazelle giving birth. It was truly amazing. Within minutes...

Laughter

Torres: I don't know what I'm doing up here. I thought Garth wasn't going to bring presenters up here twice.

Archer: Remember "Get this cheese to sickbay", Lieutenant?

Torres: I do now. Thanks a lot.

Archer: Come on. You're looking at it the wrong way. Maybe Discovery has a line somewhere that's even worse!

11. Worst Line
  • Starbase 1 being 100 AU from Earth -- "The War Without, The War Within"
  • "Vulcans should stick to logic"
  • "As always, we come in peace"
  • "The first to visit this inhospitable planet since Captain Archer and the crew of the Enterprise NX-01 nearly 100 years ago.” -- Admiral Cornwell, "The War Within, The War Without"
  • "Starfleet says we have to feed the animals" Prime Landry
Torres: And the winner is… “Starfleet says we have to feed the animals”!

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Applause

Archer: And speaking of animals! Like I said, there was this gazelle...

Laughter Again

Archer: What? What's so funny? A gazelle's giving birth! It's... it's The Miracle of Life!

Lord Garth: The Miracle of Life... They made us watch that back in seventh grade. (awkward pause) So anyway... the presenters for Best Main Character are Jadzia Dax and Odo.

Odo: The Best Main Character? I don't even believe in titles.

Jadzia: So that makes you more fair and objective.

Odo: If I were the one voting, but I wasn't!

Jadzia: Maybe not, but I have an idea of what I think the best main character should be. I think they should have some fire to them. They need to bring people in. Excite them a little.

12. Best Main Character
  • Lorca
  • Cadet Tilly
  • Michael Burnham
  • Paul Stamets
Odo: And the winner is… Lorca!

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Applause!

Jadzia: Would've been fun to see him next season. Look at all these awards he's winning!

Odo: Quark couldn't have rigged the odds better himself.

Jadzia: You're always so cynical. Maybe people just like the character!

Odo: Well, I suppose if anyone deserves it, it's him. Better than Harry Mudd.

Lord Garth: Next up are the presenters for Best Scene, Picard and Barclay.

Applause

Picard: I thought I'd get to present Best Main Character, but what's all the best characterization without a scene to bring that characterization out?

Barclay: I... I couldn't agree more... Sir.

Picard: Sorry for the time I called you "Mr. Broccoli".

Audience Laughter

13. Best Scene
  • 133 jumps
  • Burnham/Georgiou last will hologram
  • The Fire Wolf's Lair
  • Saru's rallying speech to the crew of the Discovery in "What's Past is Prologue"
Barclay: And the winner is… Saru’s rallying speech to the crew of the Discovery!

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Applause!

Picard: What a fine choice. I was wondering why I wasn't chosen to present Best Main Character but this is a much better category for me to present. Saru's speech was both wonderful and what the crew needed to hear. I would've said the same as he did, had I been in that situation.

More applause

Lord Garth: Now we have the presenters for the Worst Scene! Sisko and Bashir.

Sisko: What am I doing presenting this category?

Lord Garth: I can't do it justice, so I'll just show you.

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Sisko: I was hoping you wouldn't bring that up.

Lord Garth: Yeah.

Bashir: Not our finest moment. But maybe Discovery has worse!

14. Worst Scene
  • T'Kuvma's opening speech
  • Stamets teaching Burnham to dance
Sisko: And the "winner" is… T’Kuvma’s opening speech!

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Applause

Bashir: Wasn't that the very first scene of the series?

Sisko: Yes it was, Doctor.

Bashir: Wow.

Lord Garth: Nothing to see here! Unless you want to see "Alamaraine" again!

Sisko and Bashir: No!

Lord Garth: Moving right along then, and not home, our presenters for the Best Stand-Out Character... Q and Seven of Nine!

Applause

Seven
: A much more suitable category to present.

Q: Who among the mortals stands out the most? That's the question. What's your view?

Seven: Standing out is a unique phenomenon. Borg are assimilated so as to not stand out. Yet outside the Collective, there are a number of societies that force assimilation onto its people through homogenization.

Q: But we'll have none of that here!

15. Best Stand-Out Character
  • Saru
  • Mirror Georgiou
  • Lorca
  • L'Rell
  • Tyler
Seven: And the winner is… Lorca!

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Applause!

Q: A character with some character!

Seven: I find him to be quite reckless. Though intriguing.

Lord Garth: And our final category for the night, Best Supporting Character! Presenting this award are Sonya Gomez and Naomi Wildman!

Applause

Gomez: Wow! I didn't think I'd be presenting with someone so young! (pause) Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that.

Naomi: It's okay. I'm used to it. I was the youngest crewman on Voyager. I was the Captain's Assistant.

Gomez: Well, would you like to assist me in seeing who the Best Supporting Character is?

Naomi: Don't mind if I do!

Gomez: Great! Here they are.

16. Best Supporting Character
  • Cornwell
  • Tilly
  • Doctor Culber
  • Prime Georgiou
  • L'Rell
  • MU Georgiou
Naomi: And the winner is… Tilly!

G16%20Tilly_zpsvtq99mph.png


Applause!

Gomez: She really is a stand-out! I think she's my favorite character on the show.

Naomi: Mine too.

Lord Garth: All right. We're about to wrap this up for tonight! I'll have the next batch of categories, next time. We still have 31 to go! But here's one last commercial before we sign off for now.

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*** Part II: Behind the Scenes ***

Lord Garth
: And we're back to bang out these next two categories because they're really quick! Behind the Scenes. Where they're free to do whatever they want, whenever they want, any old time.

Cue "I'm Free" by the Soup Dragons.

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Applause

Lord Garth: Let's give it up for the Soup Dragons! And, as I said, now for Part Two of our categories: Behind the Scenes! We only have two categories for this go-around. First up is Best Director, and our presenters are Captain Kirk and Captain Janeway!

Applause

Kirk: Thank you! Thank you! When you're the Captain of a starship you have to make over 100 decisions a day. Most decisions people take for granted. Like what type of coffee you need to wake up in the morning.

Laughter

Janeway: The stronger, the better.

More Laughter

Janeway: But a Captain of a Starship is a lot like a Director. They also have over 100 decisions to make a day.

Kirk: More than that. They have a vision to execute. A dream to realize. And these are the ones who realized it. These are the nominees for Best Director as chosen by you in the audience!

Thunderous Applause

17. Best Director
  • Jonathan Frakes
  • Olatunde Osusamni
  • Akiva Goldsman
Janeway: And the winner is… Olatunde Osusamni!

Applause

Janeway: Which episodes did he direct?

Lord Garth: Let's see here... "The Butcher's Knife Cares Not For the Lambs Cry" and "What's Past Is Prologue".

G18%20Butchers%20Knife_zpsci8yixe0.jpg


Janeway: "The Butcher's Knife"?

Kirk: Where are the bakers and candlestick makers?

Laughter

Lord Garth: I don't know, but I want to thank both of you for having presented!

Applause

Lord Garth: And onto our next Category... Best Writer! Presenting that award are Jake Sisko and Tom Paris.

Applause

Jake: Thank you everyone! I just wanted let all of you know -- all of you -- that Anslem will be published really soon!

Paris: Finally! It's about time. Any interest in letting someone adapt it into a holonovel?

Jake: I don't know. Maybe.

Paris: Well, you know where to reach me if you do. But, for now, here are the nominees for the Best Writer of Discovery!

18. Best Writer
  • Bo Yeon Kim & Erika Lippoldt
  • Ted Sullivan
Jake: And the winner is… Ted Sullivan!

Applause

Paris
: Which episodes did he write?

Lord Garth: He's a staff writer but, in particular, he had a hand in "Lethe" and "What's Past Is Prologue".

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Audience Applause!

Lord Garth: Now we'll be taking a break before we're back for more. We'll be starting up Part Three of our Categories: Made for the Moment!

More Audience Applause

Lord Garth: We'll be back after this commercial break!

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*** Part III: Made for the Moment ***

Lord Garth
: And we're back for the Third Set of Categories! Made for the Moment.

Cue "From This Moment On" by Shania Twain.

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Massive applause from the audience. Lord Garth waits for it to die down.

Lord Garth: And here to present Best Character Moment are Kira Nerys and Quark!

Applause

Quark: It's amazing to think about some of what this crew has been through! And how they could all reminisce about it at my Dabo Table.

Kira: Look at me. I'm presenting the Best Character Moment with someone who actually is a character!

Quark: Then I'm exactly who we need then to present this award!

Kira: Let's just look at who the nominees are.

19. Best Character Moment
  • Stamets confronts Tyler over Hugh's death
  • Burnham threatening another mutiny if Starfleet doesn't stop the genocide plan
  • Saru admits he's envious/jealous of Michael
  • Burnham finally accepts and watches Georgiou's last will and testament
Quark: And the winner is… Stamets confronts Tyler over Hugh’s death!

G19%20Stamets_zpsbspzdkhi.jpg


Audience Applause!

Quark
: Is he furious or what?

Kira
: If it were me, I don't know if I would've had the same level of restraint...

Quark: And now I'd like to invite all of you to the Dabo Table.

Kira: Quark...

Quark: Hey! If they'll pay for CBS All Access, they'll pay for anything.

Lord Garth: Moving right along. Our presenters for the next category. Quark, you're staying right there.

Quark: What did I do?

Lord Garth: You're going to be hosting Worst Character Moment too!

Quark: What?! What for?

Lord Garth: I still have pictures from "Profit and Lace". Want me to post them?

Quark: You wouldn't.

Lord Garth: Oh, wouldn't I?

Quark: Alright, alright, you've made your point. Who am I presenting with?

Lord Garth: Lutan. From "Code of Honor"! Of "There will be no vaccine and no Lieutenant Yar!!!" fame.

Quark: Come again?

Lutan: A perfect choice. I will decide who had the worst character moment. There is no harsher judge!

Quark: I don't think you quite realize why Garth chose you for this category.

Lutan: It is exactly what I state.

Quark: Okay, if you say so...

Lutan: Let us look at the nominees!

20. Worst Character Moment
  • Burnham victory speech
  • Lorca is TEH EVIL!
  • Intro of Harry Mudd
  • Burnham mutinies on the Shenzhou
Lutan: And the winner is… Lorca is TEH EVIL!

G20%20Evil%20Lorca_zpsn5kowp8f.jpg


Audience Applause

Quark
: Why'd we even have all the suspense? I could've told you that!

Lord Garth: And now the presenters for our next category, Best Gratuitous Scene. General Martok and Commander Remick!

Martok: Gratuitous? There is no word in the Klingon language!

Remick: What do you call what happened to me, then?

Martok: Delicious.

Remick: What?

Martok starts laughing.

Remick: That's not funny!

Martok: Who says I'm joking?

Remick: Wait a minute...

Martok starts laughing again and punches Remick on the arm.

Martok: I had you going there for a moment, didn't I? Do not let your head explode over it!

Martok laughs some more.

21. Best Gratuitous Scene
  • USS Enterprise in distress Reveal
  • MU Georgiou and the Orion Rent a Slaves
  • Twisted bodies on the USS Glenn
  • Double Klingon dong
Remick: And the winner is… The USS Enterprise in distress Reveal!

G21%20Discoprise_zpsjo5ro5z9.jpg


Audience Applause!

Martok
: When is the Enterprise NOT in distress?!

Laughter

Lord Garth: And now on to our next category. Presenting the nominees for the Best Ground Battle are Worf, Son of Mogh and Lieutenant Reed.

Worf: It is an honor to present the award for best ground-battle.

Reed: It's great to see how far weaponry advances. I always thought phase-pistols were shite.

Worf: A true warrior needs no weapon.

Reed: Then you can have no weapon and I'll just hold onto mine, while we look at the nominees.

22. Best Ground Battle
  • Voq vs Ash
  • Tyler vs Saru
  • Lorca's vs Georgiou's forces phaser battle in "Vaulting Ambition"
  • Throne Room hand-to-hand fight in "What's Past is Prologue"
Worf: And the winner is… Lorca’s vs. Georgiou’s forces phaser battle in “Vaulting Ambition”!

G22%20Georgiou%20vs%20Lorca_zpsdjgcnzuf.jpg


Audience Applause

Reed
: That's what I call a battle!

Worf: I have heard that the Terrans eat more than just the heart of their enemy.

Reed: Sounds rather gruesome. I'd rather bury the dead than eat them.

Lord Garth: Speaking of Terrans! Our next category is Best Lorca Is a Prick Moment. Presenting are Keiko O'Brien and Deanna Troi!

Troi: Had I been onboard Discovery, I would've sensed Lorca wasn't who he said he was in an instant.

Keiko: I don't know about that.

Troi: What do you mean you don't know about that?

Keiko: Does Berlinghoff Rasmussen ring a bell?

Troi: We're not here to talk about me! We're here to talk about how much of a prick "Captain" Lorca is!

Keiko: I for one never would've let Miles hook himself up to a Spore Drive or a Mycellial Network!

Troi: There are so many moments to look through. It's hard to believe they narrowed it down to just five.

Keiko: Well, somehow they did.

23. Best Lorca Is a Prick Moment
  • "I still don't give a damn!"
  • Lorca deciding not to rescue Cornwell
  • Shipwide broadcast of Klingon attack in "Butcher's Knife"
  • Leaving Mudd in the Klingon cell
  • Killing the guard whose sister was betrayed/killed by Lorca
Troi: And the winner is… Lorca deciding not to rescue Cornwell!

G23%20Lethe%20Cornwell_zps7jvg0kfd.jpg


Audience Applause

Keiko
: How about that.

Troi: Somehow I'm not surprised. That was the prickiest of pricky moves, if you ask me.

Lord Garth: Believe it or not, we've just hit the half-way point of the categories! Time for another break and, as usual, another commercial first.

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Lord Garth: And we're back to finish off the third part of the categories, which are all Made For The Moment! And I want to finish it off this part of it because I'm in the groove!

Cue "Groove Is In the Heart" by Deee-Lite!

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Audience Applause!

Lord Garth: Let's get on with it! Presenting for Best Plot Point are Tuvok and Scotty!

Scotty: Plot Points? Are your daft, Garth? I don't write stories! All I know how to write are design schematics!

Tuvok: Begging the Lord's pardon, I may not be an Engineer but I do believe all stories have a support structure. Are Plot Points not the support structure upon which all stories are engineered?

Scotty: Aye, that I suppose.

Tuvok: Then let us present the Awards.

Scotty (holds up a glass of Scotch Whiskey): Here's to the nominees!

24. Best Plot Point

  • Mirror Universe jump
  • Sarek's disconnect with Spock explained in “Lethe”
  • Beginning Burnham's arc with a mutiny, and ending the arc on her threatening mutiny in order to save an entire race
  • Mirror Lorca reveal
  • Cornwell can't tell if Lorca is really him in "Lethe"
Tuvok: And the winner is… Sarek’s disconnect with Spock explained in “Lethe”.

G99%20Leathe%2099A_zpsdssqfvv1.jpg


Applause

Scotty
: Lethe? Why does that name sound more than a wee bit familiar?

G99%20Lethe_zpskzumfmqh.png


Tuvok: I do not know.

Scotty: You wouldn't.

Tuvok raises an eyebrow.

Lord Garth: Next are the nominations for Best Tilly Moment! The presenters are Ezri Dax and Harry Kim!

Kim: Best Tilly Moment! All I can say is, it's nice to see someone lower-ranked than me.

Ezri: Tilly got promoted in "Will You Take My Hand?"

Kim: Oh.

Ezri: Don't worry, Ensign. You'll make Lieutenant someday!

Kim: Let's get on with the Best Tilly Moment...

Ezri: Tilly is my favorite character on the show! I don't see what's so great about that evil Captain Lorca. These nominations are some of my favorite Tilly Moments and I mean my favorites. Sometimes I get into arguments with Curzon and Jadzia about which moments are their favorites. I have all these personalities inside me. So I argue with them a lot.

Kim: You argue with your multiple personalities?

Ezri: I only have the one! We just don't agree all the time.

Kim: On that note...

Ezri: Very funny.

25. Best Tilly Moment
  • Gets high in "Will You Take My Hand"
  • "Hold your horses"
  • “Fucking cool”
  • "Did a Klingon just shush me?"
  • Tilly getting Burnham and Tyler to hook up
Ezri: And the winner is… “Hold your horses”!

G25%20Killy_zpscul2m8rc.jpg


Applause

Kim
: She did not say "F-ing cool" earlier, did she?

Ezri: Were you even paying attention to the Awards earlier?

Kim: Am I that readable?

Ezri: I'm a Counselor. It's my job to read people! (pause) And, for your information, I'm already taken!

Kim: Just my luck, just my luck, and... just my luck in that order...

Laughter from the Audience.

Lord Garth: And last but not least is Best Weird-Out Moment because "Weird is part of the job"! Maybe I should've had Harry on for that one. But, anyway, our presenters are Sulu and Rand!

Applause

Sulu: I think I need my memory refreshed for why I'm presenting in this category.

Lord Garth: Remember when the Salt Creature was stalking Yeoman Rand who was on the way to your quarters?

Sulu: Now I remember!

Rand: What a creep that Salt Creature was.

Sulu: So here are some of the best Weird-Out Moments of Discovery.

26. Best Weird-Out Moment
  • Klingon shush
  • First Black Alert on Discovery
  • Klingon double dong
  • Stamets walks away from his mirror, but reflection stays
Rand: And the winner is… Stamets walks away from his mirror, but the reflection stays!

G26%20Stamets%20Mirror_zps4fef8qhf.png


Audience Applause!

Sulu: Oh my!

Rand: Weird doesn't even begin to describe it.

Lord Garth: And that wraps up the last of the categories for Made For The Moment! Next time, we'll have Part Four which is Props, Costumes, and Designs!

Applause

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*** Part IV: Props, Costumes, & Design ***

Lord Garth:
And we're back for categories in Props, Costumes, & Design!

Cue "The Look" by Roxette.

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Applause!

Lord Garth: Our presenters for Coolest Hair are Kilana from DS9's "The Ship" and, back with us again, Yeoman Rand!

More Applause!

Kilana: It's such a pleasure to be here. May the Federation one day take its rightful place in the Dominion.

Applause becomes more tepid. Lord Garth has an awkward expression.

Kilana: Okay, alright, we don't have to worry about that just yet. We can talk about it later. What I want to talk about right now is (turns to Yeoman Rand)... how do you keep that beehive up?

Rand: You know, I'm always asked about that and instead of just telling you, I figured I might as well show you. And the rest of the ladies out there in the audience.

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Rand: See how nice that looks? Better a beehive than a Hive Mind. That's what I say.

Applause from the audience. Except from Seven of Nine, who's not amused.

Kilana starts thinking about getting a beehive herself, but then snaps of it.

Kilana: That's pretty snazzy.

Rand: Maybe we'll even see a beehive on Discovery but let's see who has the coolest hair in the meantime. In my time, we would've called it the grooviest hair!

27. Coolest Hair
  • Tilly
  • Killy
  • Detmer
Kilana: And the winner is… Killy!

G27%20Killy%202_zpsw4ru45lk.jpg


Audience Applause!

Lord Garth: Our next presenters for Best Costume are Garak, who's back with us again, and Mae 3 from "A Taste of Armageddon"!

Applause

Mae
: It's a pleasure to be here to present this award.

Garak: Yes. The 23rd Century has so much more character to it when it comes to looking for what to wear. You have no idea how badly more tailors are needed in my own time.

Mae: A dark future, you describe, in more ways than one. But we must still see the list of nominees in this category at once.

28. Best Costume
  • Mirror uniform
  • Mirror Lorca
  • Mirror Captain uniform
  • Emperor Georgiou
Garak: And the winner is… the Mirror Captain Uniform!

G28%20Shenzou%20Burnham_zpspgoq68qd.jpg


Applause!

Mae:
What stands out the most to me is the degree to which the Mirror Universe shows how undesirable real warfare is compared to the simulation fought between Eminar VII and Vendikar III. Much more civilized.

Garak: Exactly what I say about our Cardassian interrogation chambers. Far more sophistication than just enhanced.

Lord Garth (interrupting): Excuse me, but moving right along!

Garak: Oh, yes. I got more than a little bit carried away.

Lord Garth: Another thing to get carried away with is too much make-up. You have to find the right balance which brings us to our next category. Our presenters are The Keeper from "The Cage" and Balok from "The Corbomite Manuever"!

Monstrous Applause!

The Keeper looks as we expect but we see the Balok Puppet in the walking, talking flesh, instead of Balok himself.


The Keeper: The wrong make-up is harshly criticized but the best make-up will be as quickly rewarded.

The Balok Puppet (most threatening voice possible): Bad make-up will be destroyed by the haters immediately!

Then The Keeper waves his arm across the air and the real Balok appears.

Balok (laughing): No! No! No! All we're here to do is present the winner for Best Make-Up! We'll wine and dine the winner afterwards to a glass of some Tranya.

29. Best Make-Up
  • Airiam
  • Saru
  • Clint Howard
The Keeper: And the winner is… Saru!

G29%20Saru_zpsrqno0mnf.jpg


Applause!

Balok: I may have had my own biases but any character who looks like he's brought The Animated Series to live-action deserves to win the Award.

Even more thunderous applause!

Someone In the Audience: Team Saru!!!!

Lord Garth: And on that note, we'll wrap it up for tonight! See you all next time, with the other half of Props, Costumes, & Design!

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The Beehive hair tutorial :techman: Looked so easy. Of course I personally voted for Discovery Klingons to win the hair award but Tilly's hair is standout. Janeway had the slight teased hair look with her bun.
 
Lord Garth: And we're back for the Props & Designs portion of Costumes, Props, & Designs!

Cue "Nothing's Going to Stop Us Now" by Starship!

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Massive Applause!

Lord Garth
: How great is it to have a band named Starship?

More Applause

Lord Garth: And nothing's going to stop us now from getting onto the next category. Best New Design! Presenting this award are Geordi LaForge and Commander Data!

Applause

Geordi: There have been some incredible designs on this new series. But which design is the Best Design?

Data: I believe that decision has already been determined by the voters.

Geordi: Data, that was just a rhetorical question.

Data: Rhetorical? Ah. A question that is asked without the expectation of an answer.

Geordi: Right, Data. Now you've got it!

Data: Yet an answer is what we are about to read.

Laughter

Geordi: Let's just see who the nominees are.

30. Best New Design
  • Crossfield Class/Discovery Ship
  • Discovery bridge
  • USS Enterprise
  • Andorians
  • Phaser
Geordi: And the winner is… The Crossfield Class/Discovery Ship!

disco_zpsqnuy7sft.jpg


Audience Applause!

Lord Garth: And now for your next category "Worst New Design"! Our presenters are Montgomery Scott and Doctor Leah Brahms.

Applause

Leah Brahms walks right passed Geordi. Data's confused as to what just happened.

Brahms: Okay, let's see which design was the most fouled up on Discovery.

Lord Garth: Leah, you are allowed to swear.

Brahms: Even better. Okay, let's see which design was the most fucked up on Discovery!

Applause!

Scotty: I looked at the list, lass, and they're all just a bucket of bolts.

31. Worst New Design
  • Klingon Ships
  • Klingon D7
  • Klingon Bird of Prey
  • Transporter room of Shenzhuou
Brahms: And the "winner" is… the Klingon D7!

G31%20Discovery%20D7_zpshmwrndmx.jpg


Tepid Applause

Scotty
: That's a D7?

Brahms: I guess so.

Scotty shakes his head.

Lord Garth: On a more positive note, our next category is the Best Non-Hero Ship! Ships on Discovery besides the Discovery itself. Presenting this aware are Chief O'Brien and Ensign Mayweather!

Applause

Mayweather: Glad I'm presenting this category and not the other one!

O'Brien: You and me both.

Mayweather: As a space boomer, I grew up on a lot of ships. Worked aboard a lot of them, too. It's always nice to see some of these get recognized.

32. Best Non-Hero Ship
  • Shepard Class
  • The Emperor's Palace ISS Charon
  • USS Gagarin
  • USS Buran
  • ISS Grimes
  • USS Shenzhou
O'Brien: And the winner is… the USS Shenzou!

G32%20Shenzou_zpsnzw0oeyt.jpg


Applause!

Mayweather: Nice!

O'Brien: Wish we could've seen more of her!

Lord Garth: And for our last award in this category: Commander Tucker and Lieutenant Barclay will be presenting Best Space-Faring Lifeform!

Tucker: It's great to be back up on here, again! Better best space-fairing lifeform than worst death. And we have some interesting lifefroms of the space-fairing kind out there for sure! Wouldn't you agree, Reg?

Barclay: Well, um, yes! Yes, I agree. One time we ran into a giant floating head in space.

Tucker: Wasn't that in a movie?

Barclay: I don't know what you mean.

Tucker: Either way, let's see who the nominees are!

33. Best Space-Faring Lifeform

  • Tilly
  • Gormagander
  • Ripper the Macro Tardigrade
Barclay: And the winner is… Ripper the Marco Tardigrade!

G33%20Ripper_zps2snxlbqv.jpg


Thunderous Applause!

Tucker
: Damn! I'd say that's a ripper all right!

Barclay: How did Tilly get nominated?

Tucker: Beats me, but, uh... Don't mind me. I still can't get over that Ripper!

Lord Garth: And now for another break! Our next round of categories will be Technical! Stay tuned.

Applause

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*** Part V: Technical ***

Lord Garth
: And we're back the fifth part of our categories: Technical!

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Applause!

Lord Garth: Presenting the first category for Best Real Science Concept are Mister Spock and Rain Robinson!

Audience Applause

Rain: Wow! All these discoveries out there and everything! But in a fictional show we have real science concepts!

Spock: Logically. Or Discovery would be fantasy and not science-fiction.

Rain: Exactly what I'm saying! You know, I want you to know I grok Spock! One is the beginning!

Spock: Miss Robinson, perhaps we should review the list of best real science concepts.

Rain: Right! Logical as ever, Mister Spock!

34. Best Real Science Concept
  • Spore drive
  • Mycelial Network
Rain: And the winner is… the Mycelial Network!

G34%20Mycelial_zpssou5cflp.png


Audience Applause

Spock
: Fascinating. A subspace network based upon the roots of the fungus Prototaxites Stellaviatori.

Rain: A mushroom network! 300 years of scientific-advancement and all of it goes back to the 'shrooms! That's Star Trek keeping the '60s alive in its own way.

Spock raises an eyebrow and folds his arms.

Lord Garth: Spock appears to be at a loss of words, so we'll continue on to the next category, Best Ship-to-Ship Battle! Presenting this award are Worf and Third Talak Talan from the appropriately titled DS9 episode "The Jem'Hadar"!

Worf: In battle it is always a good day to die.

Talan: You are already dead and go into battle to reclaim your life.

Worf: If you are already "dead", then how can you die with honor?

Talan: Honor? Victory is life! Victory is all that matters.

Worf: Honor meaning nothing to you explains how you can pledge loyalty to the Vorta and the Shape-Shifters.

Talan: Refer to them as The Founders! Or do you care to die right now?

Lord Garth: Guys, guys! We have an Awards Ceremony! Take it outside afterwards.

Talan: Indeed we shall!

Worf growls at Third Talak Talan.

35. Best Ship-to-Ship Battle
  • Gagarin/Disco vs Klingons
  • 133 jumps
Worf: And the winner is… 133 jumps!

G35%20133%20Jumps_zpsc1h5wy5m.jpg


Applause!

Talan
: 133 jumps and your people could not land a hit on the Discovery even once. I hope the Klingon Empire enjoys continually having one defeat piled on top of another and another.

Worf: I will kill you where you stand!

Lord Garth: That's it. I've had enough. We may be an Awards Show but it's still TrekBBS. One warning for flaming to both of you. Comments to Moderator Actions.

Talan: I should've known. Once a mod, always a mod.

Lord Garth: What else am I going to do? I can't have a fight breaking out in the middle of my Awards Show!

Talan: Alright, fine...

Worf: I would have won.

Talan: No. I would've won!

Lord Garth: Don't make me call Security! Odo's presenting the very next Award, you know!

Worf and Third Talak Talan exit the stage. Jadzia looks upset at Worf as she shakes her head...

Lord Garth: Sorry about that, everyone! Now onto our next category, Best Special Effect! Presenting this award are Odo, as I said, and a member of Species 8742 from Voyager's "In the Flesh", posing as Relanna Archer!

Audience Applause

Relanna: It’s nice to see a fellow Shape-Shifter.

Odo: You’re no Shape-Shifter.

Relanna: I’ve changed my appearance for the sake of the Awards haven’t I?

Odo: Anyone can do that.

Relanna: I come from Fluidic Space… and you’re a fluid.

Odo: All superficial.

Relanna: You can’t blame an 8472 for trying.

Odo (smirking): Let’s try to present the Awards: an interesting list in this category.

36. Best Special Effect
  • Burnham's Uniform synthesis
  • Burnham's EVA flight to Klingon artifact
  • Discovery in spore jump
  • Gormagander
  • Cloaked Klingon ship rams the USS Europa
Odo: And the winner is… Cloaked Klingon ship rams the USS Europa!

G36%20USS_Europa_rammed_zpsmcmxxtkr.jpg


Tepid Applause

Relanna: Looks like the weak really do perish!

Lord Garth: And now for our last award in this category, Worst Special Effect! Here to present this Award are Doctor Bashir and Chief O'Brien.

Applause

Bashir: It's an honor to be chosen to present. I know that Garth originally wanted Worf to be a presenter for this category but he didn't want to.

O'Brien: I wonder why not?

Bashir: With Worf, who knows?

O'Brien: Right. Well, on with the Worst Special Effect! Let's see how bad these really are.

37. Worst Special Effect
  • All space scenes
  • Klingons
  • New photon effect
Bashir: And the "winner" is… the Klingons!

G37%20Klingons_zpshcdtdmzr.jpg


Tepid Applause

O'Brien
: Now I see why Worf decided not to do it.

Bashir (puzzled): Klingons are a special effect?

O'Brien: Have to go with the votes and the nominations!

Lord Garth: And that's it for the Technical Category! We'll be back next for our sixth category, Kicking It Old School!

Applause

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Lord Garth: Before we start our sixth category, Kicking It Old School, we have a vintage song from 1967 that's out of this world, sung by Leonard Nimoy himself! I hope you get a kick out of it.

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Applause

Lord Garth: Let's give a moment to remember Leonard Nimoy.

Remembering%20Spock_zpsn2avwgow.jpg


Moment of Silence

Lord Garth: And now let's look back on the words of Mister Spock on the differences Human, Vulcan, and the two worlds he's caught between.

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Huge Applause

Stay tuned shortly for Kicking It Old School.
 
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*** Part VI: Kicking It Old School ***

Lord Garth
: Alright! Kicking it Old School!

Cue "Incense and Peppermints" by Strawberry Alarm Clock.

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Applause!!!

Lord Garth: Presenting for Best Traditionally Star Trek Scene or Moment are Chekov and Uhura!

Applause

Uhura: All these wonderful people!

Applause

Uhura: Things have certainly changed since we were doing Star Trek. But some things never change. They're as eternal as starlight. As eternal as sunset and sunrise.

Chekov: Ever since even before Russia launched Sputnik, Humanity has dreamed of travelling through space, and these moments in Discovery really felt like Star Trek.

38. Best Traditionally Star Trek Scene or Moment
  • Freeing Ripper the Tardigrade
  • Saru's Rallying Speech to the crew “She's Ours”
  • Mudd's time-looping attempt to take over the ship
  • First scene on Shenzhou bridge discussing the damaged beacon
  • "We are Starfleet"
Uhura: And the winner is… Freeing Ripper the Tardigrade!

G38%20Free%20Tardigrade_zpskdkey4wc.jpg


Audience Applause!

Lord Garth: Presenting the next award, Best Homage/Callback are Doctor Phlox and T'Pol.

Applause

Phlox: Thank you! Thank you! I do love these celebratory occasions you Humans like to have.

T'Pol: It is logical that Discovery would have to callbacks to what came before. These were the nominees.

39. Best Homage/Callback
  • Amanda and Alice in Wonderland
  • The USS Defiant
  • Cornwell mentions Captain Archer
  • Computer list of decorated captains, including Pike, April, and Archer
Phlox: And the winner is… Amanda and Alice in Wonderland!

G39%20Alice_zpsukfmiazq.jpg


T'Pol
: A callback to The Animated Series episode "Yesteryear", I believe.

Applause!

Lord Garth: And presenting the nominees for Worst Homeage/Callback are the Romulan Commander from "The Enterprise Incident" and the librarian Mr. Atoz from "All Our Yesterdays".

More Applause

Romulan Commander: All this celebration of the Federation. And not a single Romulan presenting until now. I'm more than willing point out and highlight the worst of what you have to offer. The entire galaxy should know! I find the admiration of that half-Vulcanian who tried to deceive and seduce me reprehensible!

Atoz: I can see what they've said about Romulan fury is hardly exaggerated.

Romulan Commander: And what have "they" said about us?

Atoz: I think I've said enough. After we finish presenting, I'll just go back to organizing my library. Such a fascinating collection of --

Romulan Commander: The sooner we finish this, the sooner I can return to my ship and back across The Neutral Zone!

40. Worst Homage/Callback
  • Tribble
  • List of decorated captains
  • Cornwell mentioning Archer and Qo'noS
Romulan Commander: And the "winner" is… Cornwell mentioning Archer and Qo’noS!

G40%20Cornwell_zpscy27dkgu.jpg


Tepid Applause

Atoz
: Interesting. I would have expected a mention of the previous series to be welcome. What do you think?

The Romulan Commander transports away.

Atoz: I guess she was in a hurry.

Lord Garth: Wow. Okay then. On a brighter, more uplifting note, the Best Traditionally Sci-Fi Story or Storyline! Our presenters are Hoshi Sato and Nurse Chapel.

Applause!

Chapel: Those nasty things that Romulan Commander said about Spock! How can anyone have a bad word about him?

Lord Garth: I don't know but let's stay focused on the categories.

Sato: As someone who never really went out into space before serving on Enterprise, I had to get my space legs. And what I love about being a translator is making meaningful communication with all the life we encounter.

Chapel: We encountered so much on my Enterprise, during the five-year mission. One amazing thing after another.

Sato: So let's see the nominees for the best traditional sci-fi story or storyline in Star Trek: Discovery.

41. Best Traditionally Sci-Fi Story or Storyline
  • Peaceful aliens misunderstanding on Pahvo
  • Time-looping in "Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad"
  • Discovery accidentally jumps to a different universe
Sato: And the winner is… Time-looping in “Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad”!

G41%20Timelooping_zpssdz4nydq.jpg


Applause


Chapel
: Harry Mudd would make anyone go mad. One time he gave me love-crystals to win over Mister Spock.

Sato: How did that turn out?

Chapel: How do you think?

Sato: Oh.

Lord Garth: So now we'll be taking a little break before heading into our final category: The Parent's Basement.

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Lord Garth: I can't believe we've made to the end! Our last category, the fanboys' favorite: The Parent's Basement! It's pretty harsh down here, but we take it in stride.

Cue "Nasty" by Janet Jackson.

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Applause!

*** Part VII: The Parent's Basement ***

Lord Garth
: Presenting for Best Anachronism are Korax from "The Trouble With Tribbles". He called the Enterprise a garbage scow and you know the rest. With him is Controller Emck from Voyager's "Night".

Little Applause

Korax
: STD is so full of anachronisms, I'll have bumps on my head from banging it against the wall!

Emck: What a waste of time this is. How much am I getting paid to do this again?

Korax: Here are the best anachronisms from this sagging, old rust bucket of a series.

42. Best Anachronism
  • Staying Alive
  • Holograms/Holocomms
  • Lorca's collection
Emck: And the "winner" is… Staying Alive!

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Emck: Pah!

Korax: Disco! Just like STD, I think Disco Sucks!

Audience Booos

Some in the Audience: Disco Rules!!!!

Lord Garth: All right. Now it's out of the fire and into the frying pan! Best Canon Violation. Presenting this award are Lursa and B'Etor!

Tepid Applause

Lursa: Why ever did we get dragged out here to present an award for STDs?

B'Etor: We're not. The show's abbreviation is STD.

Lursa: You're kidding, right?

B'Etor: If only I were.

Lursa: That's hilarious.

B'Etor: And clever too. What's even more hilarious is how full of canon violations STD is.

Lursa and B'Etor laugh.

43. Best Canon Violation
  • Terrans sensitive to light
  • Klingon design
  • Updated look of all designs from TOS
Lursa: And the "winner" is… Terrans sensitive to light!

G43%20Light_zpsh6tuznuw.jpg


Tepid Applause

Lord Garth
: Tough crowd, but it gets better from here. Our next award is for Best Fan Service! Presenting are Neelix and Kes!

Applause!

Neelix: I always like to bring service with a smile. And we have a lot of fan service here in Discovery it seems! What do you think, Kes?

Kes: I think I might want to try some Fried Ceti Eel.

Neelix: Is that in the list of nominees?

Kes: It is. I think everything at the Orion Embassy where it was served looks so exciting!

Neelix: Always looking to explore new things! We'll see see who all these nominees are.

44. Best Fan Service
  • The USS Enterprise showing up
  • Workbees repainting DISCO's hull
  • Fried Ceti Eels
  • Gorn Skeleton in Lorca's lair
  • After Trek
  • Clint Howard cameo
Kes: And the winner is... The USS Enterprise showing up!

Enterprise%20Meets%20Disco_zpsi8aqxg1x.png


Audience Applause!

Neelix: Wow! I've heard so much about it!

Kes: Just imagine what it was like!

Lord Garth: Next up is Best Incongruity. Presenting this award are Captain Braxton and Annorax from "Year of Hell".

Applause

Braxton: How'd I never catch you?

Annorax: How'd I never put my foot up your ass?

Braxton: What's in the running for Best Incongruity?

Annorax: I don't know but let's find out. I've given up on anything ever being 100% the same. Because the Universe was designed by dumb-asses!

45. Best Incongruity
  • Klingons almost won the war
  • Type O star which is not a type O star
  • Klingon D7
Braxton: And the "winner" is… the Klingon D7!

G31%20Discovery%20D7_zpshmwrndmx.jpg


Tepid Applause

Annorax
: If it's a Klingon D7 then show a goddamned D7!

Braxton: I think that's supposed to be a D7!

Annorax: And I think whoever designed that thing needs a foot stuck up their ass!

Laughter

Lord Garth: Two more categories to go! Next up is Best Line Spoken in Klingon. Presenting this award are Jadzia Dax and Kira Nerys, who's filling in for Worf, who's already left the building.

Jadzia: Thanks for filling in!

Kira: I didn't want to do these awards at first, they seemed so silly, but I've been having such a great time!

Jadzia: You're welcome! So the best line in Discovery spoken in Klingon...

46. Best Line Spoken in Klingon
  • We come in peace
  • Filthy Andorians
  • Light the beacon
  • Kaylesh!!
  • The Klingon devotional prayer about Kahless
Kira: And the winner is… “Kaylesh!!”

G46%20Kaylesh_zpsmvpps7cp.png


Applause

Jadzia
: Kay-lesh?

Kira: Is that not how it's pronounced?

Jadzia: I've never heard it pronounced that way. Must be a different dialect.

Lord Garth: And our last category, Best Use of Technobabble! Our presenters are Geordi and Wesley.

Wesley: Thanks for remembering me!

Geordi: It's great to be back up here again. But you don't have to take my word for it!

Laughter

47. Best Use of Technobabble
  • Tardigrade gene transfer
  • Spore drive explanations
  • Tilly/Stamets discuss how Disco could survive destruction of ISS Charon and get home
  • The light of Kahless sending out a "subspace waveform"
Wesley: And the winner is… Tradigrade gene transfer!

G47%20Gene%20Transfer%202_zpsqizgbbfm.png


Applause

Geordi
(smiling): Not just technobabble! Biotechnobabble! My favorite.

Lord Garth: Believe it or not, that concludes our 1st Annual Golden Gormagander Awards! We made it through!

Massive Audience Applause!!!!!

Lord Garth: That was exhausting! And we're going to do it again next year! Give it up for Star Trek: Discovery! It's great to have Star Trek back! And it's great to have it Alive and Kicking! And on that note, let's cue one of my personal all-time favorite songs "Alive and Kicking" because that's exactly what Star Trek is! Thanks everyone who came out and thanks to everyone who voted!

Gigantic Applause!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cue "Alive and Kicking" by Simple Minds.


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AND WE'RE WRAPPED!!!!!!!!!

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Here's hoping we do seven of these! Special Thanks to everyone who voted! And everyone who suggested nominations! You're too numerous to list but you know who you are! Time for the After Party!

What did you think this Awards Ceremony? I hope you enjoyed it!
 
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Loved it Garth and Succubint. I might whinge here and there on this forum but you really showcased the show spectacularly! Thanks too to the presenters.

I need to get out of my finery now, been dieting all week to squeeze into this couture number and its time for a burger and bubbly.
 
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