TAS Caption Contest #29: Just for Laughs

[Rat Boy]

Get off the space phone, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's channel the awesome mojo of...

For environmental disasters that probably resulted in millions of credits being spent on advertising, our winner is...

KIRK: Great.

BP can't seem to put a cap on nebula gases, either...

And for Kirk channeling his inner Fake Sean Connery, our winner is...

Kirk: "So how are things on Man-titties?"

(beat)

Wesley: "It's Mantilles, Kirk".

For Spock showing off his skills at GenCon, our winner is...

Spock casts "Summon gas cloud."

V
V
V
V

And for a triple shot of Futurama, our winner is...

Okay here are my entries :

Kirk : *sigh* "Not Him again..."

Leela : "Melvar! No means NO!"

Kirk : "Yes there is no denying that velour is comfortable...wait. Just who the heck are you again?"

Spock : *mind melds* "MmmmOh yeah....THE WOMEN!"



Vons

With the way things are going with that show on Comedy Central, it wouldn't surprise me if that final pic actually happens. Anyway, congratulations to the winners. In this episode, we have Spock mistaking eye black for guy liner, Scotty picking the wrong week to quit sniffing glue, McCoy thinking the holodeck's not going to catch on, and the rest of the crew wondering just what the hell is going on. Have fun and see you in three weeks:

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Ugh. I hate reporting to work with a hang-over."

Scotty: "Ach, where's a drenched Kirsten Dunst when you need her?"

Tonia Barrows (below McCoy's waist): *SCREAM*

McCoy: "Don't you people ever knock?"

Announcer: "In this episode, the part of Captain Kirk is played by..."

Fill in that blank and you might get a special win.

 

[Maurice]

SPOCK: Ok, ok, I'll use Wisk.

Scotty didn't just deal drugs...he used them.

BONES: My god! The kudzu will take over the entire ship!

Announcer: "In this episode, the part of Captain Kirk is played by Jack Lord's toupee."
SULU: I think I'm going to be sick...

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "Yes. Very funny. Now whoever's been fucking with my viewer can stop. It's fucking childish."

Kirk giggles

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "These toll roads are the pits. We can go from Mercury to Pluto in 2 hours, but it takes 3 hours to go two exits on the Garden State Parkway."

 

[Isis]

Announcer: "In this episode, the part of Captain Kirk is played by the Priceline Negotiator's Evil Twin."

 

[Isis]

Announcer: "In this episode, the part of Captain Kirk is played by an over-dramatic ham."

Shatner (watching the episode while on vacation): "Hmmm, that's different. Wonder how they ever came up with that idea?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Spock readies himself for JJ Abrams' stint as director.

 

[Isis]

Week 1

Announcer: "In this episode, the part of Captain Kirk is played by Dick Sargent." (William Shatner had become unavailable, and NBC felt Sargent was just the acting talent to make a seamless transition).


Week 2

Announcer: "In this episode, the part of Captain Kirk is played by Sarah Chalke." (Dick Sargent had become unavailable, and NBC felt Chalke, who was so effective as Becky #2 on Roseanne, was just the acting talent to make a seamless transition).

 

[Isis]

Announcer: "In this episode, the part of Captain Kirk is played by Bitsy."

 

[T'Girl]

Announcer: "In tonites episode, the part of Captain Kirk is played by a signed celebrity photo of Ricardo Montalban.

Shatner (OC) Khaaaaan !!!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Scotty: "Och! With God as my witness, I will never mix Aldebaran brandy and Romulan ale again!"

Redshirt: "Oh, geez, I'm sorry, Doctor McCoy! It's that damned Kevin Riley! He swore to me you were in here with my wife!"

Kirk: "Watch that third hand, Arex!"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Ships alarm "Intruder alert!"
Kirk: "On Screen"

Sulu's quarters come on screen

Sulu: (Thinking) Oh no it found my play girls

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sulu: Oh, my! That's not the gear shift, Arex.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Scotty; "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines".

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Much to Sulu's disappointment, Arex's third leg really was just a third leg.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win!

A little sequence:

"Hang on a minute - Scotty, you're actually a time-travelling Suliban agent?! Assigned to Enterprise as part of the Temporal Cold War plotline?!"

"Aye. This series is non-canon. We can get away with anything, sir".

SPOCK: "On that note, I'm actually a space raccoon from Critter IV."

"...and Section 32 has been monitoring your activities from our secret hedgerow mini-lairs for over a century!"

Kirk: "The space racoons are only minutes away from destroying the Section 32 hedge maze head quarters. Only Scotty's Suliban'n'scotch elite strike force can save us now!"
Sulu: "....but...but...none of this makes any sense!!!"
Kirk: "Quiet you. Do you want to join Chekov in the Non-appearance Room?"

 

[Isis]

Yoga in a gravity-free environment was different, if nothing else.

Announcer: "In this episode, the part of Captain Kirk is played by James Doohan...who just ate the rest of the cast."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Whoa, gotta stop dropping acid when I listen to Led Zeppelin.

 

[I am not Spock]

Whoa, gotta stop dropping acid when I listen to Led Zeppelin.