*TAS* Caption Contest 014: Female Trouble

[Maurice]

As usual, this first post will be the winners, and the second post will contain the captionable image for this week, making it easier for y'all to punch QUOTE and have at it.

And now...

Last week I put up only one image with a bunch of below-decks nobodys, but response was lukewarm. I guess y'all want the stars! Still there were some gems...


Anticitizen's first win answers a key debate over JJ's Trek...

At long last - with conclusive evidence from the leak of exclusive behind the scenes footage from ST'09, the debate was over - the new Enterprise WAS initially designed to be 366 meters long, and scaled up to 700+ meters.

Also solved was the mystery of how 800 crewmen escaped the Kelvin in sixteen shuttles.

Whereas Rat Boy addresses new entertainment technologies...

BluTache: "Stupid upscaling to 16:9!"

***** Honorable Mentions of the Week *****
​

On the set, the extras and background actors were called "the little people" for more than one reason.

Tache: "Hmm, according to these coffee grounds, I may be overwhelmed by an inferiority complex."

*TAS* Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

Anticitizen
Bad Atom
Cakes488
Captain Crow (x2)
cooleddie74 (x4)
Deranged Nasat
Diesel Micky Dolenz
Hambone
KirkusOveractus
The Laughing Vulcan (x2)
middyseafort (x3)
Mistral (x2)
Mysterion (x2)
Nerys Myk (x2)
NoName Given
Outpost4
Rat Boy (x6)
Shatmandu (x5)
Super Grover
Tan Ru
TigerOfDarkness
​

Honorable Mentions

Alpha Geek
Alrik
cooleddie74 (x8)
Diesel Micky Dolenz
John Picard
The Laughing Vulcan (x3)
middyseafort
Mistral
Mysterion (x2)
Nerys Myk (x2)
Rat Boy (x2)
Shatmandu (x2)
Super Grover
TigerOfDarkness (x2)
​

And next message: our new contest!​

 

[Maurice]

Oh yes it's ladies night, oh what a night!

P.S. This last lass ^^^ ain't Nurse Chapel

 

[Gepard]

McCoy discovered he got a lot more action now that he looks like Carl Urban.

 

[Captain Crow]

Chapel: Hands off that man Sulu! He's mine!

Red Shirt Ron: Why do bad things always happen to me? First I caught my hand in the shuttle door this morning and now my soon to be wife leaves me that old fart Dr. McCoy. What else could possibly go wrong?
[lift doors open, falls down lift shaft]

"Come to Work Drunk Day" proved popular amongst the Enterprise crew.

During a battle with the Klingons Ensign Buffy decides to practice for her "Lord of the Dance" audition.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"Colonel Chapelova! You're working for Alfredo Silverfist?! But why?!"

"As ve say in Mother Russia, captain...I'm far too hot to accept second rate billing on this show."

"And are Red Skirts dangerous clothing aboard a starship, doctor?"

"Not at all, crewman. The Red Skirt can in fact serve to extend your life expectancy here by several months. Now compare with the far more common Red Shirt, like Ensign Eddie there- hi 'ya Eddie-my prognosis is he'll be dead by the time we make Starbase 8. I've got tomorrow's landing party in the stakes, for twelve credits. Anyway, the exception is if you're the captain's woman- they have it almost as bad, so..."

"You've got a lot of explaining to do, Mr. Spock"

"The inflatable doll is a gift for...a friend. A good friend"

"Mmmmm. And as for why its roaming the corridors eerily having already knifed several crewmen?"

"I believe we may be dealing with a speciman of the famed genus, the Evil Doll, familiar to anyone who has studied Earth popular culture. I suggest you distract it, while I go for the valve. Should it begin chuckling manically, order Red Alert".

 

[T'Boggan]

"Do you feel the burn now fat boy?"

Crewman:Thinks- "Why cant it be me holding Leonards hand?"

Wow! I wish they wouldnt do it on the Helm control!

 

[Aurian]

McCoy discovered he got a lot more action now that he looks like Carl Urban.

.. I was thinking that one too..

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Yes, I've got the keys to the pharmacy. Why do you ask?"

 

[Rat Boy]

When Chapel found out about Spock and Uhura.

Yeoman: "Why's our pregnancy test being handled by a redshirt."

McCoy: "Oh, that's just a goof. Wait until the next shot, then it'll turn blue again."

Uhura (on the intercom): "Girl, you are trippin'!"

 

[Mysterion]

Redshirt: Damint! What has he got that I don't....oh, right...a penis.

 

[Alpha_Geek]

Chapel: Get your hands off him you bitch!

Redshirt: Marcy said it was big enough. What did McCoy probe her with during that exam? C'mon, little fella, we got a date with Rosy.

Ensign Muffy: See kids? If I could run slightly faster, the centrifugal force would allow me to run on the wall! That's how the astronauts on the Discovery simulated gravity before we developed more advanced methods.

 

[Shatmandu]

Bikini-waxing, TAS-style.

 

[Noname Given]

Nurse Chapel: "So, if you want something from me, you'll ask for it, eh Spock?
Well, when I want your opinion, I'll PHASER IT OUT OF YOU!"

 

[tehfunz0rz]

“So that's why they call you 'Bones'…”

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "No, Kirk kills his redshirts. I just put them under anesthesia and molest them."

Mary Sue: "Golly, this is just like I imagined it back in my basement."

 

[Mistral]

Laughing Vulcan: "And that's how I keep winning the TAS Caption Contest!"

Hot Chic "OOOOOOOOO!"

Mistral(despondent): "I'm never gonna get the girl-they never sticky the contest! And I'm computer illiterate!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Circumcision, 23rd Century Style

McCoy: Don't worry your pretty lil'l head about him, Lieutenant. He's beaming down with Jimmy-boy. He ain't ever coming back.
Redshirt: <sigh>

<BOOM!> <CHA-BOOM!>

Ensign: Join Starfleet. See the universe. Yeah, right! More like get my ass thrown around the ship while Klingons try and blow you out of the stars!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHAPEL: That's one down, Spock. You wanna try for two?

 

[Captain Crow]

Chapel: Fatboy in the crack of the ass!

[Kirk screams]

 

[Alrik]

McCoy (os): "Stay down Jim. PMS and a phaser are never a good mix."