*TAS* Caption Contest 005: Oh the Pain, the Pain.

[Maurice]

Figures...the moment I post a picture with FUR in it the number of entries skyrockets. Must keep that in mind for future...fur sure.

Gonna do something different this time. The first post will be the winners, and the second post will contain the capationable images for this week, making it easier for y'all to punch QUOTE and have at it.

First up is Cakes488 with a first time win in this contest for a beastly Sulu joke that's Easter appropriate:

As McCoy charmed the prepubescent young girl; Sulu went to work on the Rabbit...he had done and seen a lot in his life but he was yet to do it "bunny style"

Next up, cooleddie74 shows us how to make a seminal joke without resorting to nasty gay jokes:

Both officers discovered too late they weren't in Deep Space Station K-12s bar...they were in its fertility clinic.

And, dammit, cooleddie74 wins AGAIN as Kirk confesses his insecurities to his ship:

"STOP telling me Scotty climbed up inside you better!

My pride..."

Honorable Mentions of the Week
​

Kirk: Spock, Bones! Look a giant Tribble and it's waving spears! Spock? Bones?

McCoy: "That's the last time I bring twelve-sided dice to a picnic."

First contact with the Pokemon Nebula was the worst mistake of the first five-year mission.

The crew spent a whole solar WEEK catchin' 'em all.

Random Engineer: *WILHELM SCREAM*

Kirk: "No wonder that old Chinese store proprietor said not to feed the Tribbles after midnight."

*TAS* Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

Cakes488
cooleddie74 (x2)
middyseafort (x2)
Mistral
Mysterion
Outpost4
Rat Boy
Shatmandu (x2)
TigerOfDarkness

Honorable Mentions
cooleddie74 (x2)
John Picard
The Laughing Vulcan
Mistral
TigerOfDarkness

And next message: our new contest!​

 

[Maurice]

Dr. Zachary Smith's timeless complaint (no, not "Bubble Headed Booby"), is the inspiration for this week's images.

Have at 'em.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sometimes Spock had to use the Bridge Defense System to get Kirk to "assume the position."

Spock doing his impression of Paul Muad'Dib of Dune using a le-matya as a sandworm.

-or-

Spock was fond of choking the le-matya.

Hal Sutherland: Here let me color that properly... doesn't look right.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the honorable

After the split Kirk incident, Rand got a kick out of setting her phaser to premature ejaculation.

"Yippee kay yay, Kohlinahr!"

I shot the starship, but I did not shoot the shuttlecraft.

 

[Shatmandu]

Young Spock, after discovering that not every species' female has the vagina in the same place as humanoids.

 

[Mistral]

The Klingon D-7 not only wasn't housebroken-when the Federation turned its back it peed all over Deneb IV.

 

[Civil Shadow]

Citizens were divided on whether or not the Sydney's attack on the Austin was unprovoked.

Spock: This would go a lot easier if you'd just open your mouth and say, 'ah'.

Spock: This would go a lot easier if you'd just open your mouth and say nothing.

 

[Rat Boy]

Scientist: "No, Doctor Banner, no!"

Dr. Bruce Banner: "HULK SMASH!"

After Spock was done with him, Prince Adam decided to rename his pet cat Cringer.

Today on Pimp My Starship, we're turning this crappy old D-5 into solid gold art, baby!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: You wouldn't be so picky if you'd had to wait seven years...

 

[Nerys Myk]

A little lower and to the left.

A little lower and to the left.

A little lower and to the left.

 

[cooleddie74]

WORST Shiatsu therapy covered by Starfleet's insurance policy.

"THERE, THERE...

Artificially dyed, gay sehlats get so touchy."

KLINGON COMMANDER: "WELL.

At least this gets me out of having to attend my idiot son's Ascension ceremony."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "The power of Grayskull compels you."

 

[John Picard]

Spock proved to the rest of the crew that he was quite adept in the Vulcan version of riding a bucking bronco.

 

[Mistral]

The Green Lantern was thwarted by Evil Kirk's yellow shirt.

 

[Mistral]

Spock found the creature fascinating enough to try to collect a sample. It had ears, claws, a mouth, and even a tongue-yet it seemed to lack anything resembling eyes.

 

[cooleddie74]

Kirk's horniness had reached the breaking point.

Even the ship's bridge consoles needed a rape shield.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Note to self: unplug that damn thing!"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Chekov made sure his chair was left vacant during his abscence.

In Speilberg's version, phasers were replaced by walkie talkies, and phaser settings only went as high as "warm, mildly".

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Gonna do something different this time. The first post will be the winners, and the second post will contain the capationable images for this week, making it easier for y'all to punch QUOTE and have at it.

One more reason why the TAS caption contest rules

 

[Alrik]

The inspiration behind the first take of Kirk's death scene in Generations was finally uncovered.

Spock's love of classic John Wayne movies was one thing. It wasn't until he started to reenact them that the crew became concerned.

"C-9. Hit. You Phasered my Battleship!"