*TAS* Caption Contest 002: Of Redshirts & Redskirts

[Maurice]

And now...

Damned Shatmandu got a double win because captions he put on both images made me shoot Saurian Brandy through my nose! Though thanks to y'all I'll never look at my iPhone the same way again.

Here're the wins...

Kirk: "Uhura, if you're looking for an eight inch prick, I'm your man."

Spock: "My cousin went to Ohio, and he brought back some firecrackers with your anus written all over them."

OUCH!




In this week's contest we contemplate those nameless crewmen... er, crewpersons in RED and what SERVICE they can supply for us all.

And...go!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "God, why do I put up with you people? First you let Harry Mudd back not once but twice and now him?!"

Redshirts die, Redskirts kill.

 

[Michael]

Kirk (to Ensign Gerrold): What? You were going to call them fuzzies? I don't believe you. Next you gonna tell me you'll be writing a story about how my nephew's gay and wants to marry. Yeah sure ...

Redskirt on the left: Girls, looks at the boner of this Filmation guy drawing us!

 

[Michael]

Kirk: Okay, who ordered the five dozen donuts with pink frosting?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

4 outta 4 Janeys carry a gun.

 

[milo bloom]

I'm sorry I can't provide a caption, there's a brunette with freckles....

...oh, my!

 

[WendellM]

Kirk thought that Ensign Eatsonlycelery didn't look so good.

The 23rd century Go-Go's lineup strongly disapproved of their "Federation's Sweethearts" moniker.

 

[T'Bonz]

What do you mean, 'are you girls synced up?' Now quit fucking around and give us all of your chocolate and a package of Midol.

 

[M'Sharak]

 

[T'Boggan]

Redshirt " Yes captain the Prozac shipments for security have arrived safely"

And when they found out it was Kirk who gave them all Chlamydia, they decided to 'have a word' with him!

 

[Nerys Myk]

"GILLIGAN!!!!!!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Star Trek Barbie takes over the ship with the help of Francie, Stacie and Midge.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Jones: Squawk Sqaaawwwk!
Kirk: "I understand the man has psychological problems and thinks he's a chicken, that isn't telling me how he's laying all those eggs"

"Ok ladies, now set phasers to hair curler mode."

 

[Michael]

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Blonde: irate: "You said these things had vibrate settings!"

 

[Outpost4]

Ensign Jack Sprat was glad to see Cyrano Jones.

 

[Outpost4]

Chekov: I regret that I only have two nuts to give for my Federation.

 

[highlander]

Nobody had "baby mama drama" like James T. Kirk.

 

[WendellM]

Nobody had "baby mama drama" like James T. Kirk.

Oh, too perfect!

 

[Shatmandu]

Wow, a double winner!

I feel like Spock on Prom night. Thank you very much.

Wesley Crusher's Great Grandfather, mewling: "I'll get my broom, sir."

Blonde, uppity: "Doctor, it's your turn to do the nude jumping jacks."
McCoy, offscreen: "I thought you'd never ask."
<He quickly strips and gleefully does the exercise, following the ladies down the hallway even after they leave the room in disgust.<