I always forget, are you supposed to slurp soup from the spoon or sip it quietly?
Slurp your ramen up in Japan; sip your consomme in the West.
How do younger people... even learn this?
You'd think parents would teach their kids the basics of good table manners, but sadly these days, too many parents don't have a clue themselves.
Who the hell invented this shit?
There are two functions of good conventional manners:
1) to make life easier and more pleasant for both for yourself and those around you.
2) as social markers, as etiquette actually has its own fashion cycle as it is essentially a codified convention. Historically, if someone sufficiently important broke the convention, a new convention was established, hence proper etiquette evolved. Social wannabes might ape the older etiquette, making themselves inadvertant pariahs.
Nowadays, as a large percentage of the population lacks any desire to improve themselves in terms of their manners, its use as #2 is limited to truly gross (in both senses of the word) breaches. The corollary is that etiquette has paradoxically become more fixed as the fashion component has faded (in truth, this ossification began around the middle of the last century, as broadly rising living standards eroded traditional social class privileges).
Instead, we retain those elements of #1 which were present around the time of the last major codification of standards around the Victorian and Edwardian eras.
If you go to a restaurant with trained staff that know the traditional rules, the waiters fade into the background. Food & drink appears and disappears with very few words because the staff note these little things like cutlery positions. It's a much nicer experience (at least to my way of thinking/dining out) than those restaurants where you're constantly asked "are you done with that?"; "did you enjoy your meal?", "can I top up your glass", etc, etc, etc, all constantly interrupting your dinner conversation. Unfortunately, the fashion these days is that many otherwise great (in terms of food) restaurants now want their staff to try to be "friendly" or "unintimidating" instead of just giving me and my dining companions an excellent meal in pleasant surroundings.
Fine dining restaurants can actually be the
worst offenders in this regard. Over the past 5-10 years, they've acquired a particularly annoying tendency to try to explain your food to you as if you might want to want to look up the recipe for your next appearance on Masterchef. Just give me what I've ordered without a spiel about the mysterious magic your chef has done to with organically-reared, locally-sourced ingredients. Let my taste buds decide!
