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Survivor rant

SpokOdo

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Red Shirt
I searched for a Survivor thread and I couldn't find one so here it is.

Survivor has always been my favorite guilty pleasure program. This has been a really good season with some really great characters, even though I think they are the strangest cast I've ever seen and I find it difficult to get into their heads. Their actions really are all over the place.

Coach finally got booted. Christ, if I had to hear him call himself the Dragon Slayer one more time I might have slayed myself. He keeps talking about himself in the third person and going on about how he's some samarai warrior poet. Literally. He actually recited a poem at tribal council. Its like he thinks he's Wolverine or some shit. From the stories he's told, he's either lived the most extraordinary life of all time or he's completely full of it. He once told a story about how he was captured by an indigenous Amazon tribe who wanted to, in his own words, "eat his ass." From the look of things, Coach can't even cook beans out in the wilderness. He talked about not building a fire at Exile to cleanse his soul. Stop it, man! We all know you just don't know how. Truly a legend in his own mind. He walks alone. Like a Shadow. In the Night. Or some shit.

He spent the whole game believing he was in control, and the reality couldn't be farther from the truth. His tribe was always going eight different ways from week to week, but in his mind everything was going according to plan. Whenever the vote didn't go his way he'd whine about how he was playing against people with no honor and how he wanted it to be a game of warriors! Dude, get over yourself! You are not Worf restoring honor to the empire! Its just a game and their trying to win too! Pardon your competitors for not just giving up and bowing down to your obvious superiority!

If you think I'm ranting about this too much I agree with you! There have been a lot of idiots on this game. Johhny Fairplay lied about his grandmother dieing to earn sympathy. Richard Hatch waved his dick around at a female contestant. Dreamz agreed to give up immunity in exchange for a brand new truck from an old man -- only to go back on the deal. Corrine insulted a woman for crying about her recently deceased father. Randy spent half a season hating everyone over a cookie. But I have never been inspired to rant like this before by a guy on a reality show. I was simply blown away by this phony.

Um... yeah. Go Stephen.
 
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You're 100% wrong, I really couldn't disagree more. Coach is by far the most awesome character I've ever seen on any reality tv show. Yes, he's completely delusonial but he's absolutely fucking hilarious. This season of Survivor wouldn't have been half as good without him. Tyson was great too, but Coach takes the crown easily, I loved him on the show. Imagine how epic it would have been if he had made it to the final two! :D
 
You're 100% wrong, I really couldn't disagree more. Coach is by far the most awesome character I've ever seen on any reality tv show. Yes, he's completely delusonial but he's absolutely fucking hilarious. This season of Survivor wouldn't have been half as good without him. Tyson was great too, but Coach takes the crown easily, I loved him on the show. Imagine how epic it would have been if he had made it to the final two! :D

Yeah, I agree with you. :devil: As much as I can't stand him I hope they bring him back for the next All Stars edition. Its like looking at a train wreck. Stupid is entertaining. That's why I love Survivor. Its so much stranger than any fiction I've ever watched.

Oh yeah, Tyson the naked Morman. Tyson had some funny moments but he also had some real dick moments. I don't understand what Sierra ever did that was so bad that he was justified in calling her stupid to her face. It was so hilarious when Tyson would do all the work and Coach would congratulate himself for his master plan coming together.
 
I sure hated to see Coach voted off - he was, by far, the best thing about this season! Whether it was fighting pygmies in the Amazon, cleansing his soul on Exile Island, boring everyone with his endlessly self-serving stories, believeing that he was in total control, and then, finally, breaking down and claiming back spasms and asthma, he was endlessly entertaining and a wild card. I wish he could have gone to the final three just to hear about how awesome he truly is (in the third person, of course!). I guess we'll just have to wait for his appearance on Sunday when the jury gets to finally address the finalists . . . maybe he'll recite another poem or recall an epic battle or bring up his Native American heritage or state that no one has any honor but him . . .
 
Coach blatantly lied about his conversation with Sierra and yet genuinely seemed to believe his lie to be the truth. I wouldn't be surprised if his Amazon story was the same. My guess is that a lie detector test wouldn't be much help figuring out "reality" with this fellow.
 
I agree with you totally. I fucking hate the guy. It seems like half the Survivor audience loves to hate him, and the other half just hates him. He could be entertaining, but there's a difference between him and say, Johnny Fairplay. When Fairplay was a jackass you thought he was mean but it was also funny and entertaining. With Coach, I'm not entertained, I just want to get up and turn the show off because he pisses me off so much.

And I am quite sure he believes his own lies. This episode really told us something about his true nature. He is so afraid of looking stupid or looking like a failure that he engineers situations in his mind that give him a way out, like the wanting to "cleanse" himself. The truth is he doubted whether he could make his own fire and find food, so instead of possibly failing in front of the cameras he didn't even try at all. That is possibly the worst attitude a supposed "coach" could ever have.

He is really an incredibly insecure child who makes himself believe these stories because it allows him to feel like he's actually accomplished something. I have never seen someone so in denial of their own identity and issues.

I think he should have gone weeks ago and I could not stand watching him.
 
And I am quite sure he believes his own lies.

Totally! I believe he was not lying one bit during the whole show insofar as he thought he was telling the truth:
Exhibit A: Ponderosa Clip I, Clip II, Clip III
Exhibit B: His website
Exhibit C: The book about his incredible kayaking-tour (read the reviews :lol:)

That's the most amazing thing about this amazing person, it's not act. He's 100% serious, with not the slightest hint of humour or irony. That's what made me love to see him on Survivor so much. :D
 
Coach had a noble idea at the start, by wanting to get to the end with the best players. But after than it was all downhill from there. He has no skill in playing this game as he was carried by Tyson until he was voted out. The only reason he would do well in an All-Star game is because everyone else would be too busy laughing at him.
 
I didn't like Coach to begin with but as show progress i felt be brought a lot of fun to the show. Talk about big ego or what. Everybody watching either hate him or love him. His game play was poor but if they are going to have all star 2 they have to bring him back. Tyson and Sierra too.

here is you tube parody video on Coach http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWFsX0QeCyc
 
Coach had a noble idea at the start, by wanting to get to the end with the best players. But after than it was all downhill from there. He has no skill in playing this game as he was carried by Tyson until he was voted out. The only reason he would do well in an All-Star game is because everyone else would be too busy laughing at him.

The problem with his goal was that his idea of a tribe of warriors didn't seem to amount to much more than a boy's club. You'll notice he's just about offended every woman in the game. Even the blonde lady (arrgg! what's her name?) he allied with for so long turned on him in the end.

At any rate, he's comments at tonights jury will be epic, and he's bound to get a "Best Of" segment at the reunion show. Hate him or just love to hate him, we will all remember this season as the year of Coach.
 
This season I just can't find someone to wholeheartedly root for. Coach is the most annoying Survivor of all time but at this point it was dumb not to keep him as someone who you want to go up against in the finale. I generally like the weasals of the group who scheme and manipulate others as well as the underdogs as that takes more talent than the physical threats. Amanada Kimmel and Parvati shallow are two good examples. But a person like Tom who dominated the physical aspect was a likeable guy and decent enough at the personality aspect that I rooted for him. This year no one really is a true grand schemer and likeable doing it and no one has dominate physically. Right now the only one who really doesn't have a shot is Erinn so I'll root for her. If they did another All Stars I would hate to see anyone from this season cast in it.
 
Coach had a noble idea at the start, by wanting to get to the end with the best players. But after than it was all downhill from there. He has no skill in playing this game as he was carried by Tyson until he was voted out. The only reason he would do well in an All-Star game is because everyone else would be too busy laughing at him.


Nobility in a game for a million dollars is stupid. I play poker and if I was playing a cash game with my you and it would make you homeless for me to win the hand I'd happily win the hand and make you homeless. :) Fairplay's "dying grandma" routine.. BRILLIANT!! Can't remember who it was but actually putting your hand on a bible and swearing you aren't lying in Big Brother.. AWESOME!! The name of the game is to win by any means within the allowed rules of the game. Bend but don't break the rules. I'll happily take the million dollars while someone else talks about their "nobility" playing the game.
 
Coach had a noble idea at the start, by wanting to get to the end with the best players. But after than it was all downhill from there. He has no skill in playing this game as he was carried by Tyson until he was voted out. The only reason he would do well in an All-Star game is because everyone else would be too busy laughing at him.

If Coach really had any integrety, he wouldn't have placed himself in the same category as those that he aligned with since he wasn't nearly the player they were. The way I see it, his strategy was to ride the coattails of the strongest people: All of the talk about wanting to play the game nobly was just a smokescreen designed to mask the real motive behind his alliance. Then again, with his warped sense of reality, he may have actually believed his own bullshit.
 
I sure hated to see Coach voted off - he was, by far, the best thing about this season! Whether it was fighting pygmies in the Amazon, cleansing his soul on Exile Island, boring everyone with his endlessly self-serving stories, believeing that he was in total control, and then, finally, breaking down and claiming back spasms and asthma, he was endlessly entertaining and a wild card. I wish he could have gone to the final three just to hear about how awesome he truly is (in the third person, of course!). I guess we'll just have to wait for his appearance on Sunday when the jury gets to finally address the finalists . . . maybe he'll recite another poem or recall an epic battle or bring up his Native American heritage or state that no one has any honor but him . . .

I was glad he got voted off I did not like him at all.:guffaw:
 
The thing I noticed about the finale was when they did the memorial walk, and Coach did his bit, he did his usual self-serving ramble about Nietzsche and Vikings and honor. The one thing that was missing that just about all of the others had was the statement "From this experience I learned that...."

Coach learned nothing. He came out of the experience the same as he came in. Its sad, really.

Good job JT. I was really hoping Stephen would get it, but you could tell he was nervous going in, and he tended to fall into his "brainy" persona when nervous. That, and he knew people just liked JT better than him.

And to this day, I have no idea what it was about Sierra that pissed so many people off. She's this year's Sugar.
 
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Separated at birth...

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The past few survivors are so much funnier when you hear Michael Scott's voice whenever the Dragonslayer (:rolleyes:) is talking :guffaw:
 
Nobility in a game for a million dollars is stupid. I play poker and if I was playing a cash game with my you and it would make you homeless for me to win the hand I'd happily win the hand and make you homeless. :) Fairplay's "dying grandma" routine.. BRILLIANT!! Can't remember who it was but actually putting your hand on a bible and swearing you aren't lying in Big Brother.. AWESOME!! The name of the game is to win by any means within the allowed rules of the game. Bend but don't break the rules. I'll happily take the million dollars while someone else talks about their "nobility" playing the game.

Of course you're right, the purpose is to win the game by outplaying, outwitting, and outlasting everyone else. Unfortunately, Survivor as entertainment is a sad commentary on society. Survivor manages to bring together the worst (for the most part) people and then encourages even worse behavior. It's an exercise in societal de-evolution, Lord of the Flies on an adult level. We are meant to cheer for abhorrent behavior and laugh at mans inhumanity to man. Even the few decent, honest players descend to the level of the pack by the end of the game. Survivor brings out the worst in the participants, and the spectators.

As for Coach, I've known a number of people like him. Liars who have lied so often, for so long, they are incapable of telling the truth anymore. Every detail of their lives is a fabrication to elevate their status and at the same time belittle others. I think that over time they actually start to believe their convoluted ramblings, thus preventing them from realizing how easily the rest of us catch them in their lies.

The world is populated by many sad, scary people. God help us all.
 
Hehe, I was getting ready to complain how disappointed I was in the finale because it was so predictable and then JT completely took me by suprise by making the stupid/honorable choice in taking Stephen to the end. I'm certain Stephen would have stabbed him in the back had he gotten the chance.

But the way it went down it was nice and made me much happier that JT ended up winning than if he had chosen Erinn, although from an objective point of view that doesn't make much sense since usually I'm rather cut-throat about Survivor. ;)
 
That was an interesting reunion show, thought I think they should have focused less on Coach and more on why everyone hates Sierra, which I still don't understand. Hopefully they feel differently after seeing the show on TV, since she really WAS a pretty honest player and did a lot less back-stabbing than they did.
 
Hehe, I was getting ready to complain how disappointed I was in the finale because it was so predictable and then JT completely took me by suprise by making the stupid/honorable choice in taking Stephen to the end. I'm certain Stephen would have stabbed him in the back had he gotten the chance.

But the way it went down it was nice and made me much happier that JT ended up winning than if he had chosen Erinn, although from an objective point of view that doesn't make much sense since usually I'm rather cut-throat about Survivor. ;)

I thought it made perfect sense to take Stephen. Since- as they both pointed out- they made decisions together throughout the game, about the only thing separating the two were their personalities (JT was better liked), what they contributed around camp (Stephen did a lot, but JT was a workhorse) and how they performed in challenges (JT easily gets the nod here). I think JT would have won against Erinn was well, but I'm not sure if it would have been unanimous. I have no doubt that Stephen would have stabbed JT in the back if he had the chance, though.


Despite the supposed lie detector test, I still don't believe half of what Coach said. And him trotting that out at the reunion show was lame- just another attempt to hog the limelight.
 
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