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Stupid ads with 1000-mph dialogue

Mr. Laser Beam

Fleet Admiral
Admiral
You all know the ones I mean. Ads that have most of the dialogue spoken at normal rates, then at the last 5 seconds have this extremely rapid-fire machine-gun-velocity reading of the fine print, like somebody trying to read the entire Bible. My question is this: Given that the only reason those lines are there is because the law demands it, why doesn't the law also go on to demand that they be spoken at a rate that can be understood? What's the point of having these lines spoken at all if nobody can decipher them? At least the fine print in a printed ad can be read at one's leisure, even though it's usually too small to do so...
 
Because ad time costs money, and the business paying for the ad would much rather use that time to give their pitch, and then stuff all the legal mumbo jumbo at the end. To read that stuff at a normal rate they'd either have to a. Pay for more time or b. Shorten their main pitch...neither of which they want to do.
 
You all know the ones I mean. Ads that have most of the dialogue spoken at normal rates, then at the last 5 seconds have this extremely rapid-fire machine-gun-velocity reading of the fine print, like somebody trying to read the entire Bible. My question is this: Given that the only reason those lines are there is because the law demands it, why doesn't the law also go on to demand that they be spoken at a rate that can be understood? What's the point of having these lines spoken at all if nobody can decipher them? At least the fine print in a printed ad can be read at one's leisure, even though it's usually too small to do so...

Also, nothing's stopping you the consumer from looking up said fine print elsewhere if you're interested in learning more about said product or service.
 
Because ad time costs money, and the business paying for the ad would much rather use that time to give their pitch, and then stuff all the legal mumbo jumbo at the end. To read that stuff at a normal rate they'd either have to a. Pay for more time or b. Shorten their main pitch...neither of which they want to do.

But I doubt they want to put that legal stuff in there *at all*. The law makes them do it. So why does the law not obligate them to make it understandable?
 
Because ad time costs money, and the business paying for the ad would much rather use that time to give their pitch, and then stuff all the legal mumbo jumbo at the end. To read that stuff at a normal rate they'd either have to a. Pay for more time or b. Shorten their main pitch...neither of which they want to do.

But I doubt they want to put that legal stuff in there *at all*. The law makes them do it. So why does the law not obligate them to make it understandable?

The government doesn't regulate the cost of commercials and airtime, therefore it would be bordering on fascism to for the government to dictate such things. That would be huge government.

Plus, and I'm not 100% positive, but as far as I know only drug companies have to go this when advertising. The law for drug companies is that if you list all positive effects of the drug, you must list all the negative and side effects, that's why there are some drug commercials out there that don't even say what the drug does at all. It's just 30 seconds of people riding bicycles smiling on a sunny day with a voiceover saying "Ask your doctor how Vionex can help you feel like yourself again"

Other companies only do the "fine print" in their commercials because of their own legal department protecting themselves from getting sued on the grounds of false advertising.
 
I don't get all the negative thoughts about making the "small print" understandable -isn't the government supposed to be "for the people" - in this case opposed to "for the corporations"? :confused:
 
So why does the law not obligate them to make it understandable?

I understand those parts just fine.

Sounds like a problem on your end.

Some of the ads are worse than others. Most of the auto dealer ones have very little that you can understand other than the odd word or two, and sound like blahblahblahblahblahtaxtitleandinsuranceblahblahblabhbblblababllablahdealerprepblahblah...
 
I don't get all the negative thoughts about making the "small print" understandable -isn't the government supposed to be "for the people" - in this case opposed to "for the corporations"? :confused:

:lol:

Sorry, but I don't think that's very funny.

No, it's not. It's very, very sad.

But the reality is that right now, the government DOES seem to be very "for the corporations" or rather the lobby groups with the millions to support and finance the campaigns of the people getting into office.
 
My question is this: Given that the only reason those lines are there is because the law demands it, why doesn't the law also go on to demand that they be spoken at a rate that can be understood?

Let me get this straight. You want those annoying ads to be longer? Brilliant!

Why, just the other day, I was watching TV and thinking to myself, "Self, you know what would make this Flonase commercial even more exciting and full of drama? Another 30 seconds of carefully enunciated legalese about how it can potentially make me more susceptible to leprosy tacked on to the end."
 
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