ACT I
(premise - Arnie is the cause for why the transporter malfunctioned.)
Stardate: 1672.1
There's something to be said about night shift. Most of the crew is asleep. There's no vindictive shipmates after you for terrorizing them during your time as acting officer. And best of all, no superiors breathing down your neck.
After the events of the past few weeks, I decided spending some time on the night shift would do me and my fellow crew members some good. Out of sight, out of mind you could say.
Sure, the work was tedious. It mostly involved taking the portable negative ion generator to the corridor floors to keep them clean but I didn't mind. A little 'boring' work after all that's happened lately was fine by me.
Everything was nice and scheduled. Clean the corridors by midnight then move onto the transporter room and main engineering. What could be simpler?
So there I was, I just completed the corridors of the decks I was assigned and went into the transporter room. It was odd to be in there with no one else around and the lights set in 'night mode'. The eerie surroundings send a shiver down my spine. I shrugged it off however. It was silly to think there were monsters aboard.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw something reaching for my shoulder from behind. Sheer terror filled my body. I turned around and stumbled back from whatever it was that was trying to grab me. I imagined all sorts of hideous creatures, like that salt sucking thing. Maybe there was another one aboard, hiding all this time.
Alright! Alright. I'll admit, I MIGHT have screamed like a pre-pubescent girl but, come on, you would have too! Much to my shurgrin however, it wasn't some horrible alien monster. Just Roy Kirby there laughing is ass off at me.
"Ha ha, very funny!" I said, not amused in the least bit.
"Oh you should have seen your face, it was priceless!" He said between fits of laughter.
Fear turned into anger. Now I wasn't really trying to hurt my friend and roommate but I was mad that he scared me to death like that. So I swung the wand portion of my ion generator.
Of course he dodged the blow easily but what next happened filled both of us with horror. The end of the wand continued on its arc until it hit the back of the transporter control console with a loud thwack! The two of us froze solid and in what seemed like slow motion, watched the thin maintenance cover fall off the console and clatter against the deck loudly. Followed closely behind the cover was the innards of the transporter. Data wiring, micro plasma conduits, even optical control chips spilled out of the deviced like they were presents from Santa Clause's bag.
This time I really shrieked like a girl while Roy grabbed onto his perfect hair and stared at the mess like some mad scientist who's experienment just went horribly wrong.
"You are SO dead!" Roy exclaimed.
I stared at him in shock. "Me?! If it wasn't for YOU scaring the crap out of me, none of this would have happened!"
Roy held up his hands. "No way! I'm not involved. I was never here. I am sleeping peacefully in my bed."
"If I go down, you go down with me." I threatened.
"We are SO dead!"
"Wait, wait." I said then took a few deep breaths to calm down. "We'll just fix it."
"What?!" Roy stared at me in disbelief. "I don't know about you but I have NO idea about how to fix transporters."
I looked around the room and went over to a storage cabinet. I opened it up and found the 'Transporter Operation and Maintenance Manual' sitting right there. I grabbed it and held it up triumphantly.
"Look, a manual."
Roy shook his head. "I say we just tell someone. If we put that thing back together wrong, who knows what'll happen!"
"I'm already on my last leg here. If anyone finds out it was me that broke the transporter, I'll get kicked out of Starfleet!" I cried. "And I'm not the only one. If we tell someone, you're perfect record won't be so perfect anymore."
That's when the usually 'cool in any situation' Roy Kirby lost it. He grabbed the manuel out of my hands and dove into the mess of electrical guts lying on the floor and started plugging chips and wires back into the machine.
"We got to get this fixed! We got to get this fixed!" He kept on repeating in a panicked voice.
I grabbed Roy by the shoulders and shook him violently. "Get a hold of yourself man!"
Roy seemed to calm down a bit. Enough at least to get some of his wits back.
"Now, when is the next landing party?" I asked.
Roy thought about it for a moment then his face went pale. "First thing in the morning!"
"Alright." I said, checking my wrist chronometer. "That gives us just about seven hours to get this back together."
"It's not enough time!" Roy cried.
He was starting to loose it again.
"Focus!" I said sternly. "Panicking is not helping us."
"You're right." He said, somewhat returning to normal. "I'm sorry."
"OK." I replied after making sure Roy was, in fact, settled down. "Now, I have more experience with ship's systems so you take the manual and read off to me what goes where. Alright?"
Roy nodded his head in a rapid, nervous fashion.
******
Six hours and fifty-nine minutes later Roy and I had the transporter back to normal. I was just getting the panel back on while Roy was keeping a lookout by the door.
"There coming!" He shrieked.
"Almost got it." I replied coolly.
"Hurry!" He whispered loudly.
"There!" I said then grabbed my negative ion cleaning unit.
Chief Engineer Scott walked in, followed by a transporter technician. As soon as he saw both of us he stopped and starred at us suspiciously.
"Crewmen," He began in his familiar Scottish accent. "Might I inquire as to what ye'r doing here?"
Roy's face broke out in a cold sweat and I thought furiously for an answer. Then I remembered my ion unit.
"Just doing some last minute cleaning Sir!" I replied.
The Chief pondered the reply for a moment. "And are ye finished?"
"Aye Sir." I answered.
"Then ye'r dismissed."
Roy and I snapped a salute and rushed out of there as fast as we possibly could. As soon as we were safe I thought Roy was going to pass out but I grabbed him by the shoulder.
"Come on, we're not out of the woods yet." I said.
"What do you mean?" He asked, panic returning to his face.
"You have to monitor the security cams today right?" I asked.
"Yea, why?" He said, confused.
I started running towards the security section with Roy in tow. We got there just in time for Roy's duty shift and we both settled down at the monitors in the little control room.
"Pull up the transporter room security feed." I instructed.
Roy complied and within seconds we had three separate images of the transporter room on three different monitors.
"Everything looks normal." Commented Roy.
The nervous tapping of his leg and the fact he was chewing on his fingernails told me Roy didn't think we were out of the woods just yet. I had to agree with him. The Chief wasn't running about pulling panels off the console so it, at least initially, appeared that we put it back well enough to clear the startup diagnostic routine but that didn't mean we were free and clear.
Captain Kirk followed by the rest of the landing party team appeared on the monitors. There was no sound so we couldn't hear what was going on but everything looked normal. The landing party took their places on the transporter pads and we tensed up for the final test.
"Arnie." Roy said.
"Yes?" I replied.
"Just so you know. If we end up killing the Captain, who happens to be my personal hero, I am duty bound to rip your heart out of your chest and feed it to you whole."
I looked over to my shipmate and with complete seriousness I said, "Roy, if the Captain dies, I'll let you."
And with that, we held our breaths as we watched a good portion of the senior staff dematerialize into nothingness.
We watched and waited. Nothing. No rampant running around, no tearing apart of machinery, not even any furious button pushing. Everything seemed fine.
"I think we're OK." I said, finally letting out my breath.
We both hugged each other gleefully, until realizing what we were doing, then we stopped.
"I was pretty scared there for a minute!" Roy exclaimed. "I thought we were going to be sent to the dilithium mines for sure."
"Dilithium mines?" I repeated. "Man, we're not in the Klingon Empire. They don't send prisoners to dilithium mines in the Federation."
"I think, causing the death of ones captain and most of the senior staff would be an exception to that little rule." Roy replied.
At first I frowned then saw the logic in his argument and was forced to agree.
"Look," Roy said, pointing at the monitor. "It looks like they are beaming someone back."
We both watched the screen intently. At first it appeared everything was going just fine. Then the Chief went into a frantic pace. Pushing buttons and sliding sliders. My heart sank. Something was definitely wrong.
The person faded in and out on the transporter a number of times. Chief Scott worked quickly adjusting nobs and recalibrating the beam. Roy and I held our breaths. It was the most terrifying moment of our lives.
After what seemed like an eternity, the form of Technician Fisher finally appears solidly on the transporter platform. Roy and I let out a loud sigh of relief.
"Damn, that was close." I said.
"I thought we had it." Roy added.
"Look," I said, pointing to the Chief. "He's checking over the system but it doesn't appear that he's finding anything wrong. Maybe whatever happened wasn't because of us."
"Wait." Added Roy. "Looks like someone else is beaming up."
We both watched the monitor intently. This transport seemed to go normally as Captain Kirk appeared on the pad. Again Roy and I felt relieved. It looked like everything was fine.
"I think we're OK." I replied happily.
"Me too." Roy said smiling.
"That was a close one!" I said, chuckling.
Just then, movement on the monitor caught my eye. Someone else was beaming aboard the ship but Chief Scott wasn't at the controls. I leaned forward.
"Hey, look at that." I said.
Roy and I watched and to our amazement and horror ANOTHER Captain Kirk materialized aboard the Enterprise. I leaned back in my chair in disbelief.
"Please tell me that you rewound the tape and what we're seeing is a rerun." I said.
Roy just shook his head. "We're live."
"I think I'm going to be sick."
(premise - Arnie is the cause for why the transporter malfunctioned.)
Stardate: 1672.1
There's something to be said about night shift. Most of the crew is asleep. There's no vindictive shipmates after you for terrorizing them during your time as acting officer. And best of all, no superiors breathing down your neck.
After the events of the past few weeks, I decided spending some time on the night shift would do me and my fellow crew members some good. Out of sight, out of mind you could say.
Sure, the work was tedious. It mostly involved taking the portable negative ion generator to the corridor floors to keep them clean but I didn't mind. A little 'boring' work after all that's happened lately was fine by me.
Everything was nice and scheduled. Clean the corridors by midnight then move onto the transporter room and main engineering. What could be simpler?
So there I was, I just completed the corridors of the decks I was assigned and went into the transporter room. It was odd to be in there with no one else around and the lights set in 'night mode'. The eerie surroundings send a shiver down my spine. I shrugged it off however. It was silly to think there were monsters aboard.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw something reaching for my shoulder from behind. Sheer terror filled my body. I turned around and stumbled back from whatever it was that was trying to grab me. I imagined all sorts of hideous creatures, like that salt sucking thing. Maybe there was another one aboard, hiding all this time.
Alright! Alright. I'll admit, I MIGHT have screamed like a pre-pubescent girl but, come on, you would have too! Much to my shurgrin however, it wasn't some horrible alien monster. Just Roy Kirby there laughing is ass off at me.
"Ha ha, very funny!" I said, not amused in the least bit.
"Oh you should have seen your face, it was priceless!" He said between fits of laughter.
Fear turned into anger. Now I wasn't really trying to hurt my friend and roommate but I was mad that he scared me to death like that. So I swung the wand portion of my ion generator.
Of course he dodged the blow easily but what next happened filled both of us with horror. The end of the wand continued on its arc until it hit the back of the transporter control console with a loud thwack! The two of us froze solid and in what seemed like slow motion, watched the thin maintenance cover fall off the console and clatter against the deck loudly. Followed closely behind the cover was the innards of the transporter. Data wiring, micro plasma conduits, even optical control chips spilled out of the deviced like they were presents from Santa Clause's bag.
This time I really shrieked like a girl while Roy grabbed onto his perfect hair and stared at the mess like some mad scientist who's experienment just went horribly wrong.
"You are SO dead!" Roy exclaimed.
I stared at him in shock. "Me?! If it wasn't for YOU scaring the crap out of me, none of this would have happened!"
Roy held up his hands. "No way! I'm not involved. I was never here. I am sleeping peacefully in my bed."
"If I go down, you go down with me." I threatened.
"We are SO dead!"
"Wait, wait." I said then took a few deep breaths to calm down. "We'll just fix it."
"What?!" Roy stared at me in disbelief. "I don't know about you but I have NO idea about how to fix transporters."
I looked around the room and went over to a storage cabinet. I opened it up and found the 'Transporter Operation and Maintenance Manual' sitting right there. I grabbed it and held it up triumphantly.
"Look, a manual."
Roy shook his head. "I say we just tell someone. If we put that thing back together wrong, who knows what'll happen!"
"I'm already on my last leg here. If anyone finds out it was me that broke the transporter, I'll get kicked out of Starfleet!" I cried. "And I'm not the only one. If we tell someone, you're perfect record won't be so perfect anymore."
That's when the usually 'cool in any situation' Roy Kirby lost it. He grabbed the manuel out of my hands and dove into the mess of electrical guts lying on the floor and started plugging chips and wires back into the machine.
"We got to get this fixed! We got to get this fixed!" He kept on repeating in a panicked voice.
I grabbed Roy by the shoulders and shook him violently. "Get a hold of yourself man!"
Roy seemed to calm down a bit. Enough at least to get some of his wits back.
"Now, when is the next landing party?" I asked.
Roy thought about it for a moment then his face went pale. "First thing in the morning!"
"Alright." I said, checking my wrist chronometer. "That gives us just about seven hours to get this back together."
"It's not enough time!" Roy cried.
He was starting to loose it again.
"Focus!" I said sternly. "Panicking is not helping us."
"You're right." He said, somewhat returning to normal. "I'm sorry."
"OK." I replied after making sure Roy was, in fact, settled down. "Now, I have more experience with ship's systems so you take the manual and read off to me what goes where. Alright?"
Roy nodded his head in a rapid, nervous fashion.
******
Six hours and fifty-nine minutes later Roy and I had the transporter back to normal. I was just getting the panel back on while Roy was keeping a lookout by the door.
"There coming!" He shrieked.
"Almost got it." I replied coolly.
"Hurry!" He whispered loudly.
"There!" I said then grabbed my negative ion cleaning unit.
Chief Engineer Scott walked in, followed by a transporter technician. As soon as he saw both of us he stopped and starred at us suspiciously.
"Crewmen," He began in his familiar Scottish accent. "Might I inquire as to what ye'r doing here?"
Roy's face broke out in a cold sweat and I thought furiously for an answer. Then I remembered my ion unit.
"Just doing some last minute cleaning Sir!" I replied.
The Chief pondered the reply for a moment. "And are ye finished?"
"Aye Sir." I answered.
"Then ye'r dismissed."
Roy and I snapped a salute and rushed out of there as fast as we possibly could. As soon as we were safe I thought Roy was going to pass out but I grabbed him by the shoulder.
"Come on, we're not out of the woods yet." I said.
"What do you mean?" He asked, panic returning to his face.
"You have to monitor the security cams today right?" I asked.
"Yea, why?" He said, confused.
I started running towards the security section with Roy in tow. We got there just in time for Roy's duty shift and we both settled down at the monitors in the little control room.
"Pull up the transporter room security feed." I instructed.
Roy complied and within seconds we had three separate images of the transporter room on three different monitors.
"Everything looks normal." Commented Roy.
The nervous tapping of his leg and the fact he was chewing on his fingernails told me Roy didn't think we were out of the woods just yet. I had to agree with him. The Chief wasn't running about pulling panels off the console so it, at least initially, appeared that we put it back well enough to clear the startup diagnostic routine but that didn't mean we were free and clear.
Captain Kirk followed by the rest of the landing party team appeared on the monitors. There was no sound so we couldn't hear what was going on but everything looked normal. The landing party took their places on the transporter pads and we tensed up for the final test.
"Arnie." Roy said.
"Yes?" I replied.
"Just so you know. If we end up killing the Captain, who happens to be my personal hero, I am duty bound to rip your heart out of your chest and feed it to you whole."
I looked over to my shipmate and with complete seriousness I said, "Roy, if the Captain dies, I'll let you."
And with that, we held our breaths as we watched a good portion of the senior staff dematerialize into nothingness.
We watched and waited. Nothing. No rampant running around, no tearing apart of machinery, not even any furious button pushing. Everything seemed fine.
"I think we're OK." I said, finally letting out my breath.
We both hugged each other gleefully, until realizing what we were doing, then we stopped.
"I was pretty scared there for a minute!" Roy exclaimed. "I thought we were going to be sent to the dilithium mines for sure."
"Dilithium mines?" I repeated. "Man, we're not in the Klingon Empire. They don't send prisoners to dilithium mines in the Federation."
"I think, causing the death of ones captain and most of the senior staff would be an exception to that little rule." Roy replied.
At first I frowned then saw the logic in his argument and was forced to agree.
"Look," Roy said, pointing at the monitor. "It looks like they are beaming someone back."
We both watched the screen intently. At first it appeared everything was going just fine. Then the Chief went into a frantic pace. Pushing buttons and sliding sliders. My heart sank. Something was definitely wrong.
The person faded in and out on the transporter a number of times. Chief Scott worked quickly adjusting nobs and recalibrating the beam. Roy and I held our breaths. It was the most terrifying moment of our lives.
After what seemed like an eternity, the form of Technician Fisher finally appears solidly on the transporter platform. Roy and I let out a loud sigh of relief.
"Damn, that was close." I said.
"I thought we had it." Roy added.
"Look," I said, pointing to the Chief. "He's checking over the system but it doesn't appear that he's finding anything wrong. Maybe whatever happened wasn't because of us."
"Wait." Added Roy. "Looks like someone else is beaming up."
We both watched the monitor intently. This transport seemed to go normally as Captain Kirk appeared on the pad. Again Roy and I felt relieved. It looked like everything was fine.
"I think we're OK." I replied happily.
"Me too." Roy said smiling.
"That was a close one!" I said, chuckling.
Just then, movement on the monitor caught my eye. Someone else was beaming aboard the ship but Chief Scott wasn't at the controls. I leaned forward.
"Hey, look at that." I said.
Roy and I watched and to our amazement and horror ANOTHER Captain Kirk materialized aboard the Enterprise. I leaned back in my chair in disbelief.
"Please tell me that you rewound the tape and what we're seeing is a rerun." I said.
Roy just shook his head. "We're live."
"I think I'm going to be sick."
Your words of encouragement keeps me writing! 
