Stop calling me thin

[Yeoman Randi]

I saw the picture you posted of yourself recently and i thought you looked great.

There have only been two times in my life where people said i looked too thin. The first time was back in '78 or '79. I was working a full time job during the day and playing in a very popular band. We had gigs almost every night of the week, so i was probably working a good 20 hours a day between the two jobs. My mother came to see the band play one night and her only comment to me was, "You look too thin." Thanks mom.

Second time was about ten years ago when i was kickboxing. I lost all my fat and was pure muscle. I'd never been in better shape, felt healthier, stronger, more confident than i did then...at the age of 44. People (outside of kickboxing) told me i looked too skinny.

Unless you are not eating properly, i have two words for those people. Fuck 'em.

 

[bluedana]

Do people really comment on other people's weight or body shape in casual conversation? (Excluding conversations specifically about that, of course.)

I can see something like "You look good today", but anything more than that is intrusive and frankly rather impolite. It's none of their business. Do they make bad comment on hairdo and ties too? I'm aghast at their manners.

Yes, they do, and it's awkward. I lost 30 lbs and several dress sizes over the past year. I must have been positively bovine because I get a lot of comments. It's hard to know how to answer without letting out all of your business. Some people will actually ask me how I lost the weight, which -- really?

 

[trampledamage]

Do people really comment on other people's weight or body shape in casual conversation? (Excluding conversations specifically about that, of course.)

I can see something like "You look good today", but anything more than that is intrusive and frankly rather impolite. It's none of their business. Do they make bad comment on hairdo and ties too? I'm aghast at their manners.

Yes, they do, and it's awkward. I lost 30 lbs and several dress sizes over the past year. I must have been positively bovine because I get a lot of comments. It's hard to know how to answer without letting out all of your business. Some people will actually ask me how I lost the weight, which -- really?

Exactly! I'm a fat woman and I've been losing weight because I'm walking more. Anyone who's just a passing acquaintance seems to think that because I'm fat getting thinner then I shall be over the moon to be told how good I look now. a) I hate the attention and b) I didn't feel like I looked bad before

Nothing makes me want to eat cake more than a lot of people commenting on my weightloss!

 

[An Officer]

Yeah, people always ask... I lost 12 kilos recently, and everyone wants to know how I did it. I take it at face value, which is simple natural curiosity, especially with women, since even the slimmest girl always wants to loose just a little more. Talking about weight and eating habits seems to have become as popular, if not more so, as talking about the weather! There was a time when it was not very polite, but I think those times are well behind us now.

I don't mind telling peeps how it happened, which was that I loved a drop of alcohol a little too much (), and did not take as much exercise as I should, being too busy drinking and smoking and all, as you do. People do find it hard to believe, but those are the facts. No fancy diets, no bulimia or anorexia, just sensible eating and activity. It took a year and a half though, and that's not fast enough for some people.

If people call me thin, I love it, because I had to exercise a lot of self-discipline to get here. Call me thin all day long, please! And I do not mind at all, droning on all day long about diet and nutrition and how many hills I rode my bike up today...

 

[bluedana]

That's awesome, and if that's your answer -- good diet, exercise -- then you're likely to want to share your information, even volunteer it. You should be proud of your hard work and discipline.

But when you lose weight due to health issues, not on purpose, it makes for an awkward pause in the conversation. And that's before you get to the "You should stop dieting, you're getting too thin," part of the convo.

Honestly, I think a simple, "You look great!" is fine. If a person wants to elaborate on his or her regimen, fine. I'll take the compliment gracefully, even if the reason I'm losing weight bites.

 

[An Officer]

^ Well, that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish. I do hope you are in better health now.

In that case, I agree with you completely, better not to ask unless the person volunteers information. Some conversations are too personal.