Steven Seagal: Vampire Slayer!!!

[Aragorn]

Some of you have been waiting your whole lives for this, but now you can finally discuss the greatness that is Steven Seagal in the Science Fiction & Fantasy forum!

Katana master Tao (Steven Seagal) leads a special ops squad of ex-military vigilantes on a massacre mission, their target: vampires. On the post-apocalyptic globe, sucked dry by bloodthirsty vampires, a few remaining survivors are trapped in an infected hospital. Tao is their only hope and he knows the only cure is execution. Now it’s time for the last stand against the flesh-eating vampires and there’s nothing left to lose but the last of humanity.

 

[Pingfah]

That is one of the worst DVD covers I have ever seen.

 

[zephramc]

Holy shit! Did I just timewarp back to 1988?

What day is it? The date!
.
.
.
WHAT YEAR!

 

[Plomeek Broth]

I'm looking forward to seeing what he will do with all of the nuances of his character.

 

[Pingfah]

Unfortunately it is coming out too late for this years Oscars.

 

[Cicero]

The strange thing about Steven Seagal's B movies is that they always end up being strangely (if sometimes barely) watchable. I've never quite understood why.

 

[Agent Richard07]

You sure that's not Steve Schirripa?

 

[c0rnedfr0g]

hopefully it will have a scene as classic as this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejFir05Nxms&feature=related

Seriously, the vampires must realize they don't stand a chance.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

Holy shit! Did I just timewarp back to 1988?

What day is it? The date!
.
.
.
WHAT YEAR!

December 15, 2008. Note that Steven Seagal is pudgy and old and a total joke.

They couldn't get two different vampires on the cover, they just reversed the same one.

I bet there will be a sequel, AGAINST THE DARK TERRITORY "it's Die Hard meets The Lost Boys on a train"

 

[LaxScrutiny]

Steven Seagal killed vampires for teh CIA from 1972 to 1978. I read it on teh interweb.

 

[Procutus]

The strange thing about Steven Seagal's B movies is that they always end up being strangely (if sometimes barely) watchable. I've never quite understood why.

Seagal's last really good movie was Under Siege. Oddly enough, some of his Straight-to-DVDs are watchable, but not great.

 

[Aragorn]

Holy shit! Did I just timewarp back to 1988?

What day is it? The date!
.
.
.
WHAT YEAR!

I'm not sure what you're questioning here. Old, fat Steven Seagal who needs a stunt double and has really bad DVD covers has been pumping out straight-to-video flicks in mass volume for several years now.

 

[marillion]

What's he going to do, glare them to death?

 

[Aragorn]

Seagal's last really good movie was Under Siege. Oddly enough, some of his Straight-to-DVDs are watchable, but not great.

Well he did do Executive Decision after Under Siege. That was the best end result of a Steven Seagal character.

 

[melancholymecha]

His name is Tao

 

[LutherSloan]

Seagull is the least-Asian looking person in show-business.

Therefore, it makes PERFECT sense to put him in a movie as a Japanese sword master with the brilliant name of Tao.

 

[Aragorn]

^ Damn whitey! Denying Don "The Dragon" Wilson the role of a lifetime!

Back when Seagal was in his prime (and a studio actually let him direct his own movie), didn't he want to play Ghengis Kahn?

 

[DWF]

Well at least the movie follows the Seagal tradition of a three word title.

 

[Aragorn]

Half Past Dead but Hard To Kill, Steven Seagal is Out For Justice. Marked For Death by his Out Of Reach nemesis The Glimmer Man, he will travel On Deadly Ground and set a Fire Down Below with his Flight Of Fury. Against The Dark, he will go Into The Sun. As a Mercenary For Justice, his favorite saying is, "Today You Die."

 

[witchie]

I could have sworn I saw this movie on USA. That one was bad. Really, really bad. Seagal must have lost his voice mid-way through looping because someone else did the last hour of it. Ugh...just awful. Total waste of celluloid.