Hi!!! I'm Crazy Minh, and I'm new here. I'm also a 20-odd year Trek fan who despises the new incarnation of Star Trek. Let me get that out of the way. This is in NO WAY a troll post, or a spam post. It's meant to be a critical review of the series, done by a critic that CBS DIDN'T pay off to give the dumpster fire that is STD good reviews. Before I start, I'd like to add that for those who actually LIKE this franchise-killer of a show: you're welcome to your opinion, as am I. I'm not going to bellittle you for liking that masterpiece of terrible writing, abysmal research and god-awful potent- that would make me just as bad as the people who bullied me in High School for liking Star Trek, and the people who continue to do that till this day. BUT, if you feel offended, it's not my problem. You are entitled to feel however yu feel, and that is not my issue.
Part One: Why STD does not justify it's own existence
Now, many people may remember Star Trek: Enterprise, the previous prequel. Scratch that, everyone here should remember it, as up until now, it was the worst incarnation of Star Trek. However, you may feel about the decontamination scenes, the blatant Fanservice with T'pol, etc., the show justified it's own existence in the timeline, something prequels are meant to do if they want to be successful.
Enterprise was set during a era which was a interesting point in the timeline. It followed the events of the excellent movie First Contact, and was a point in time that had been mentioned but never explored: the events following First Contact that lead to the creation of the Federation. However, Star Trek discovery is set during a war that is never actually mentioned in the show (despite the writers trying to attach it to a specific episode of TOS, that episode never actually mentions a war with the Klingons) and one which isn't really that interesting a event. Sure, thousands of people are dead. So are those who died in the Dominon war, almost a 100 years later. Sure, it was caused by one person. Ever heard of Hitler??? Yeah, he was one person who started a frakkin genocidal slaughter. But at no point are the events in the series anything beyond boring. Enterprise had a interesting period of time it did justice to. STD however bastardises the feel of the 23rd century, and doesn't even use the style that the people of the time built their starships along to. There are no big, glowing buttons. There are no funny 'plastic' fixtures. There are no pipes labeled GN-DN (standing for Goes Nowhere-Does Nothing). There are no uniforms of the period. The enterprise badge (which doesn't appear until after the completion of the original 5-year mission) is everywhere. Don't think that's canon??? Look at the original Star Trek: The Next Generation technical manual, which was actually written by people who had actually worked on proper Star Trek before. This brings me to my next point:
Part Two: The cast and crew
Now, while STD has excellent actors in it's cast...they're being forced to go along with cliched dialouge, terrible writing and just plain canon violation. This is mainly due to the fact that currently there are no members of the production, writing or showrunning team that have worked on classic star trek. They've either come with no experience at all...or have worked on the stupid Nutrek movies that represented the low-point in the franchise. The writers aren't even that good. Take, for example, Alex Kurtzman. He's worked on Star Trek 2009, Star Trek Into Darkness, other stuff, and The Mummy (2016). You know, the movie that completely stuffed up one of the best horror franchises ever??? The movie on which Kurtzman was the primary writer??? The man has claimed he's going along with Roddenberry's dream of the future. Which part, I might sarcastically say??? The grimdark, depressing and gritty future that Roddenberry 'apparently' created??? Yes, I do realise that this makes no sense, as Roddenberry created a future where starleet officers aren't xenophobic crybaby bitches, Klingons are honourable warriors who don't look like space orcs, starfleet isn't a horrifically messed-up orgnaisation with no character, and where people live in peace and harmony. Yes, things which STD really has, doesn't it???
Part 3: The abysmal writing
STD has shit writing. I say this as a writer myself. It. Is. Shit. The feel is wrong for Star Trek (Just watch enterprise and it feels more like Trek than STD), the characterisation is wrong (starfleet officers don't act like Michelle Burnham (that is to say whiny, xenophobic, stupid bitches with a Mary-Sue complex bigger than that of Wesley Crusher)), the depiction of the Klingons is just....stupid, the show violates canon left and right (The mutiny, the holographic communicators, the spore drive, the goddam holodeck and replicators, the frakkin war itelf, etc), the show makes the entire run of Voyager invalid (may I remind you about magical spore space dust drives that can traverse the entire universe in three second BULLSHAT technology)...I could go on forever, but I won't.
What's worse is the writers accuse anyone who disses the show as being 'ignorant' or 'homophobic' or 'misogynist'...oh, right, that brings me to my next point...
Part 4: The Diversity
Star Trek has always been a diverse show. STD is no more diverse than any other series. You want a list??? Fine, I'l give you a list:
- Uhura (first interacial kiss on television)
- Chekov (Russian bridge officer during the cold war)
- Sulu (asian bridge officer during a time of racism)
- Geordi (black engineering officer)
- Ben Sisko (first black lead character)
- Jake Sisko
- Chakotey (Native American Bridge Officer)
- Janeway (first female lead on Star Trek)
- Harry (asian bridge officer)
- Tuvok (first black vulcan on-screen)
- Hoshi (asian female comms officer)
- Travis (black helmsman)
Only one of these characters was killed off 'permanently' (Sisko, and that's ambiguous in whether he's alive in the Wormhole), and we actually Cared when he was killed. STD has the following characters (I won't list their nationalities, but I will list their fate)
- Michelle Burnham (alive; briefly send to prison in a possibly accidental offensive stereotype of a black person)
- Gergiou...or whatever (dead/mirror version alive)
- Native American Security officer (killed off by space monster in the second episode she appeared in)
- Gay couple (one killed after appearing for 15 minutes, mostly in flashbacks after he died, the other alive)
- possible others...who no one cares about in the slightest (although we don't really care about the above characters in the first place)
So, they claim diversity...but only two of the characters listed are actually still alive as their original versions. Seriously, that's diversity??? More like a lot of dead characters...
Part 5: The design and production
I'm running short on time here, so I'm going to write a list instead:
- Those space orcs they call klingons
- Spinning saucer sections/gaps in the saucer section
- No warp core in engineering, but warp narcelles on the discovery
- No correlation between TOS ships and STD ships
- No viewscreens, & holograms before the 24th century
- Bridges don't go on the bottom of saucer sections
- Lens flares. Frakkin Lens Flares!!!
- Klingon's don't put coffins on their ships. The dead don't matter to them. The bodies are just empty shells to them.
- Too much spent on special effects
- Dark bridges with no lighting
- The bullshit uniforms and props
- etc
Comment and discuss:
Part One: Why STD does not justify it's own existence
Now, many people may remember Star Trek: Enterprise, the previous prequel. Scratch that, everyone here should remember it, as up until now, it was the worst incarnation of Star Trek. However, you may feel about the decontamination scenes, the blatant Fanservice with T'pol, etc., the show justified it's own existence in the timeline, something prequels are meant to do if they want to be successful.
Enterprise was set during a era which was a interesting point in the timeline. It followed the events of the excellent movie First Contact, and was a point in time that had been mentioned but never explored: the events following First Contact that lead to the creation of the Federation. However, Star Trek discovery is set during a war that is never actually mentioned in the show (despite the writers trying to attach it to a specific episode of TOS, that episode never actually mentions a war with the Klingons) and one which isn't really that interesting a event. Sure, thousands of people are dead. So are those who died in the Dominon war, almost a 100 years later. Sure, it was caused by one person. Ever heard of Hitler??? Yeah, he was one person who started a frakkin genocidal slaughter. But at no point are the events in the series anything beyond boring. Enterprise had a interesting period of time it did justice to. STD however bastardises the feel of the 23rd century, and doesn't even use the style that the people of the time built their starships along to. There are no big, glowing buttons. There are no funny 'plastic' fixtures. There are no pipes labeled GN-DN (standing for Goes Nowhere-Does Nothing). There are no uniforms of the period. The enterprise badge (which doesn't appear until after the completion of the original 5-year mission) is everywhere. Don't think that's canon??? Look at the original Star Trek: The Next Generation technical manual, which was actually written by people who had actually worked on proper Star Trek before. This brings me to my next point:
Part Two: The cast and crew
Now, while STD has excellent actors in it's cast...they're being forced to go along with cliched dialouge, terrible writing and just plain canon violation. This is mainly due to the fact that currently there are no members of the production, writing or showrunning team that have worked on classic star trek. They've either come with no experience at all...or have worked on the stupid Nutrek movies that represented the low-point in the franchise. The writers aren't even that good. Take, for example, Alex Kurtzman. He's worked on Star Trek 2009, Star Trek Into Darkness, other stuff, and The Mummy (2016). You know, the movie that completely stuffed up one of the best horror franchises ever??? The movie on which Kurtzman was the primary writer??? The man has claimed he's going along with Roddenberry's dream of the future. Which part, I might sarcastically say??? The grimdark, depressing and gritty future that Roddenberry 'apparently' created??? Yes, I do realise that this makes no sense, as Roddenberry created a future where starleet officers aren't xenophobic crybaby bitches, Klingons are honourable warriors who don't look like space orcs, starfleet isn't a horrifically messed-up orgnaisation with no character, and where people live in peace and harmony. Yes, things which STD really has, doesn't it???
Part 3: The abysmal writing
STD has shit writing. I say this as a writer myself. It. Is. Shit. The feel is wrong for Star Trek (Just watch enterprise and it feels more like Trek than STD), the characterisation is wrong (starfleet officers don't act like Michelle Burnham (that is to say whiny, xenophobic, stupid bitches with a Mary-Sue complex bigger than that of Wesley Crusher)), the depiction of the Klingons is just....stupid, the show violates canon left and right (The mutiny, the holographic communicators, the spore drive, the goddam holodeck and replicators, the frakkin war itelf, etc), the show makes the entire run of Voyager invalid (may I remind you about magical spore space dust drives that can traverse the entire universe in three second BULLSHAT technology)...I could go on forever, but I won't.
What's worse is the writers accuse anyone who disses the show as being 'ignorant' or 'homophobic' or 'misogynist'...oh, right, that brings me to my next point...
Part 4: The Diversity
Star Trek has always been a diverse show. STD is no more diverse than any other series. You want a list??? Fine, I'l give you a list:
- Uhura (first interacial kiss on television)
- Chekov (Russian bridge officer during the cold war)
- Sulu (asian bridge officer during a time of racism)
- Geordi (black engineering officer)
- Ben Sisko (first black lead character)
- Jake Sisko
- Chakotey (Native American Bridge Officer)
- Janeway (first female lead on Star Trek)
- Harry (asian bridge officer)
- Tuvok (first black vulcan on-screen)
- Hoshi (asian female comms officer)
- Travis (black helmsman)
Only one of these characters was killed off 'permanently' (Sisko, and that's ambiguous in whether he's alive in the Wormhole), and we actually Cared when he was killed. STD has the following characters (I won't list their nationalities, but I will list their fate)
- Michelle Burnham (alive; briefly send to prison in a possibly accidental offensive stereotype of a black person)
- Gergiou...or whatever (dead/mirror version alive)
- Native American Security officer (killed off by space monster in the second episode she appeared in)
- Gay couple (one killed after appearing for 15 minutes, mostly in flashbacks after he died, the other alive)
- possible others...who no one cares about in the slightest (although we don't really care about the above characters in the first place)
So, they claim diversity...but only two of the characters listed are actually still alive as their original versions. Seriously, that's diversity??? More like a lot of dead characters...
Part 5: The design and production
I'm running short on time here, so I'm going to write a list instead:
- Those space orcs they call klingons
- Spinning saucer sections/gaps in the saucer section
- No warp core in engineering, but warp narcelles on the discovery
- No correlation between TOS ships and STD ships
- No viewscreens, & holograms before the 24th century
- Bridges don't go on the bottom of saucer sections
- Lens flares. Frakkin Lens Flares!!!
- Klingon's don't put coffins on their ships. The dead don't matter to them. The bodies are just empty shells to them.
- Too much spent on special effects
- Dark bridges with no lighting
- The bullshit uniforms and props
- etc
Comment and discuss:
