Starting the L Word (for the first time)

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

It's golf not tennis, and people who go to the Dinah Shore weekend don't usually go for the golf.

Tonya is definitely evil. Watch out, Mr. Piddles!

You're talking about Robin? Well she and Jenny aren't really exclusive.

 

[Guy Gardener]

I'm not even bothering to learn names.

The tennis girl at the Golf event, yup.

Shane has been with 1300 girls? Less impressive than sad.

Although ending that crusade, to settle down with a married woman who is financially s...

This is why I adore Rosanna Arquette.

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Is Shane with Rosanna's character because she is in love, like she told Rosanna's daughter, or is the allure of a sugar mommy so strong that she is willing to put aside 8 tons of p###y to get her own hair salon?

Starting the final episode of season one. (S01E14)

Jennifer Beals! Stop cheating!

Bad Jennifer!

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

I think Shane really did fall in love with her, with the potential salon being a bonus.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Yup, got to a scene where they admit their love paddling in a puddle of tears and snot.

Really curious about what's wrong with the husband?

A little too enlightened.

"Sure, you can #### my teenage daughter, I'm cool with that."

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

He wanted Shane to be Clea's friend. Just a friend.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Lesbian mentor.

It's later I'm talking about when the daughter starts lying about how she is with Shane, and Shane loves her, and they are going to be together, even though Shane said "nope, I'm in love with someone else who is definitely not your mother".

It's 2004, why the smeg are they using a whiteboard to cross reference who ####ed who?

That's what Microsoft outlook is for. Sure it looks like a mail program, but you can cross reference endless shit easily with that program so well using the "contacts" feature.

Season one is done and dusted.

I need to eat.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Thoughts?

 

[Guy Gardener]

You don't think that I have expressed enough thoughts?

The L Word is a fine slice of life adventure.

Did the actress who played Marina piss the producers off, because they were not coy talking about the characters exit. She slit her wrists and crashed into a wall on the motor way, and then spent the rest of the night screaming for Jenny because Jenny's perfect.

Jenny is poison.

TINA IS PREGGERS WITH A GIANT BABY!!!

Now tennis girl is cheating.

Cheating on the woman who killed Mr Piddles.

(But Dana is too thick to notice that.)

It's not okay to cheat, just because you agreed to be faithful to a monster you haven't yet realized is a monster.

NO! Bette! Stop looking at Jenny like she's a long cool glass of water.

POISON!!

She is a long cool glass of poison!

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

From what I've heard, she was fired because she became so popular and upstaged everyone else.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Mirror Mirror on the Wall who is the most popular of them all?

It's more likely she stole a box of wine from craft services.

The opening credits.

They changed the opening credits.

I don't like that when a series does that.

It usually delineates a change in leadership at the top, which is never good, okay, very rarely any good.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Yeah. Betty (name of the band) kind of sucks.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Are there different new opening credits for every season?

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Nope. You're good.

Btw, does your girlfriend know you're watching a show about naked ladies who enjoy other naked ladies?

 

[Guy Gardener]

It was her idea.

She thinks that I have a few things to learn about pleasing a woman.

The irony is that 90 percent of this series seems to be a textbook on how to cheat.

So, I guess we'll see how what I learn here will come to benefit my old lady over the next couple weeks.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Old lady, eh?

How very old-fashioned of you.

I'm not sure I would approve of that term though.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Your biceps are not going to immediately turn into flapping batwings on the other side of 30.

Rejoice!

There are good times ahead, starting with suitors who are not demanding that your bottom be no larger than two grape fruits pushed together... Unless, that is you're still dating 26 years olds.

They are the worst.

Twenty six year olds are the ####ing worst.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Approaching 30 seems delightful! You're still young but now you have reached a level of maturity that makes you an adult in the eyes of older adults.

Approaching 40 on the other hand?

That's rough. It's time to start thinking about finding a nice plot of dirt and a slab of rock to scribble on.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Did you just threaten to murder me?!!!?

What the hell did I do to you!!!???

We were calmly talking about skanky lesbians, and now you're what, putting a hit out on me?

This is the most UnCanadian thing you have ever done!

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Ah!

You better sleep with one eye open, Guy Gardener.

"Redrum, Redrum!"

 

[Guy Gardener]

Ah!

You better sleep with one eye open, Guy Gardener.

"Rectum, Rectum!"

FTFY.