UES Enterprise. En route to Kraltos System. Warp 3.78
Captains Log, 11th May, 2151. We are on our final approach to the Kraltos system, hopefully in time to make contact with the Ithenites and find out if they know anything about the attack on the Vulcans. I am pleased to report that despite this not being our planned mission all the crew, UESPA, UEMA and civilian support, have risen to the challenge.
"All departments report that they are ready captain." Hoshi Sato announced, one finger to her ear piece.
"Thank you Hoshi. How long Haleh?"
The navigator barely had to glance at her instruments. "Just over ten minutes, sir."
The rear starboard hatch opened and Commander Hernandez entered, rubbing her hands on a piece of cloth. "Sorry to be so late sir. The automated feed for number two torpedo tube was not functioning adequately. It was simpler to fix it myself than get anyone else to."
Archer frowned. "I didn't see it mentioned in the maintenance reports. When did it go wrong?"
Her hands clean, Hernandez tucked the cloth into her pocket. "It wouldn't have been listed sir, it was still functioning within nominal parameters. It just wasn't good enough by my standards."
"And very high standards I'm sure they are too." came Polly Partridge's disembodied voice.
Hernandez looked around, confused. Ensign Kaufman, at sensors, gestured towards the small computer station, pointing down. Craning her head for a better look, Hernandez could see Partridge's long legs protruding from underneath. She was immersed up to her hips inside the console.
Archer must have noticed her interest. "The Professor's pet project." he said, pointing to something new that had been added to the console. "She's just wiring it in now."
It was the metal rectangle that Reed saw her working on in the mess hall. It was mounted at a forty five degree angle, the glass end at the top. A furled wheel now filled the hole on the side.
"What is it?" Hernandez asked.
Still under the console, Partridge said "I've been trying to find a way to increase the efficiency of data analysis. We pull in a lot of information via all the different sensor arrays. This--" a gloved hand popped up and pointed at the rectangle "--will allow me to make sense of it a lot quicker. Right, that's circuit D-9 sorted. Mister Kaufman, could you charge D-9 please!"
Kaufman, who had been staring hard at the splayed legs, jerked upwards with a start. "Er, right, yeah. Charging B-9."
"No!" Hernandez called, but his finger had already hit the switch.
There was a flash of light from under the console and a loud crack, followed by a yelp. A wisp of smoke crawled upwards.
"Polly! Are you OK!" Hoshi called.
Archer bounded from his seat. "Hoshi, get a medic up here. Professor, are you--"
The hand appeared again, waving them down. "I'm fine, I'm fine. No one panic. Just got a bit of a shock, that's all. 'Shock' as in surprise, not 'shock' as in massive flow of free electrons through my tender body." A second hand emerged, pointing at the first. "Everything I wear is insulating. It's just one of the properties inherent in my practical and sensible dress sense."
"So why did you yelp?" asked Hernandez archly.
"I just had circuit B-9 explode in a confined space with me. Seriously, if I lose an eyebrow I'm suing someone."
Kaufman looked mortified and stammered out an apology.
Hernandez grunted. "Captain, while I understand the need for such a device, I really should have been informed about this. Although any decisions ultimately come down to you, if it could potentially--"
Archer asked "But you were informed, weren't you? Polly said so."
"That's right." came the voice from inside the console. "I sent a message last week. 'Proposal for an enhanced visual display to increase data resolution'. Mr. Kaufman, please hand me the spare B-9, this one's knackered. That's B-9, B for 'boobies'. We don't want any mistakes now, do we?"
Hernandez said. "Yes, I think I remember that. Very long message. I glanced through it, but it didn't seem anything I should concern myself with. To be honest I couldn't really understand your technobabble, Professor. Certainly nothing seemed to involve bridge modifications."
"Then I apologise for the verbose nature of my message and any inadvertent lack of clarity. What was that word you used, technobabble? Oh that's good, I may have to use that. Still, I did make it very clear at the end of the message that I'd be going ahead, UNODIR."
Hernandez hadn't read that part, and was surprised by this.
UNODIR was a military term. 'UNless Otherwise DIRected'. Basically it was used to inform superiors of ones planned course of action in the event of receiving no orders to the contrary. 'I will be doing this, unless you tell me not to'.
So, the pacifist scientist with an aversion to uniforms can handle rifles and knows military terminology. Hernandez reminded herself to find out about Professor Partridge.
"At any rate," Archer pointed out, "I gave her permission to install the device. And, as the Professor says, you were informed."
"Yes sir." Hernandez conceded. She rather suspected that Partridge had deliberately intended to obfuscate her message. Not maliciously, but as a joke.
"Right, Mister Kaufman, I've re-wired circuit B for 'boobies' 9 up, so if you could charge that please....Right, that seems fine. OK, back on track now..."
Hernandez glanced at the clock. "Couldn't you have done this earlier? We are about to enter a potential combat zone."
"I've only just got it finished. Couldn't get it ready any earlier than this."
Hernandez slipped into place at Gunnery, double checking all systems. A thought struck her."You said this thing will help you with data from all the sensor arrays. I assume you mean all the science arrays."
"Nope, all of them."
"Even the combat sensors? How can you be sure it won't affect them."
A short pause. "Well, it will affect them. That's kind of the whole point. It won't adversely affect them though. All the sensors, cross linked to provide multiple redundancy, their output displayed through here. Should improve efficiency by twenty, twenty five percent."
Now that did get Hernandez's attention. Assuming the scientist wasn't exaggerating then that sort of improvement would be a major breakthrough for Earth's space craft. "OK, that sounds good. I'm still not happy about entering combat with untested equipment."
Archer cleared his throat. "Just how many Declaration class starships have been involved in combat, Commander?"
Hernandez cocked her head. "Good point sir." So far there had been no military actions involving Declarations. The whole ship was 'untested equipment'.
Partridge spoke. "Look, Maria, I can finish this in less than a minute. But If you ain't happy, I can stop right now. Combat sensors are still routed through Mr Kaufman's console. It wouldn't affect the ship either way if I halt. Don't get me wrong, I think this'll be brilliant, and I want to get it done. But it can wait. It can wait."
To her surprise Hernandez found herself grateful that Partridge was willing to put things on hold for her. But it wasn't her choice. "As the Captain says, you have his permission, you don't need mine."
"I also have the Captain's approval."
That rocked Hernandez back. "Professor Partridge...Professor Partridge, proceed with the installation." She turned to Archer. "Well, after all that I want to see what the damn thing does."
"Thank you. Mister Kaufman, please charge circuit D-9. That's D for...er, D for...ah, I've got it. D for 'Daaaaaamn, that's a fine pair of boobies'.
"Yes Ma'am. Charging circuit D-9, that's D for.....charging circuit D-9."
"And that should be that." the Professor said, slithering out of the console and shutting the access hatch. She stood. "Right. Just give it a moment or two for the software to set itself up....is something the matter, Commander?"
Hernandez had been staring in surprise. "Are you wearing a corset?"
Partridge looked her straight in the eye. "No."
Ask a silly question, Hernandez thought, get a silly answer. Partridge was obviously wearing a corset. It was bright scarlet and worn on top of her black catsuit. "Why?" she asked simply.
Polly raised a finger for emphasis. "Ah, well, we did pick up quite a bit of food from the Tellarites, and to be quite honest I've been pigging out recently, that bread of theirs is really rather good, and those mushrooms are...oh, just realized, maybe 'pigging out' isn't the phrase I should be using. Could sound a bit racist....Anyway, I don't want to put on any weight, so on goes the corset. Besides, it does these good to be put on a shelf once in a while." she added, gesturing at her chest.
There was a beep from the console. "Aha! That's it, it's ready!" she said. Cracking her knuckles like a concert pianist about to begin, she took a deep breath, and touched a button.
There was a hum as the console fully powered up.
Simultaneously the main lights went out.
Emergency lighting came on instantly, bathing everything in it's red glow. Partridge looked shocked.
"What the hell?" demanded Mayweather.
"Should I summon an engineering team sir?" Hoshi asked.
Archer shook his head "Not just yet, Lieutenant. Explanation, Professor."
"What? I,I,I....I don't understand. There shouldn't have been any---"
She broke off as Hernandez snorted, a grin breaking through her attempts to keep a straight face. The XO touched a control, returning the lighting to normal.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist it."
Gaping, Partridge shook her head in disbelief. "You...you...oh no. No, you did not do that! You did not do that! And you! Jonathan Archer! You were in on it!"
Archer grinned. "Commander Hernandez slipped me the wink when your back was turned, and I gave her the nod."
"Well, fiddlesticks."
Hernandez looked enormously satisfied. "The bridge recorder is running, isn't it? I think I'd like a copy of that for my diary."
Haleh Moshiri cleared her throat. "Just coming up on the Kraltos system now."
Archer sat back. "Thanks Haleh. Professor, this seems like a good opportunity to find out if your new toy works."
Partridge flicked a switch. A soft, almost lyrical sound came from the machine, and blue light shone through the glass.
"Hmm, one thing I didn't take into account. It's impossible to access from a sitting position."
She stood, pushed the chair to one side, and bent almost double over the device. Now the blue light illuminated her eyes as she peered into it. Using the furled wheel on the side she made careful adjustments.
"Oh, wow. I mean, wow. This is better than I hoped! Ionic density...gamma ray flux...oh! There's a proton-anti proton annihilation! The view is spectacular! And I imagine Mr Mayweather is thinking something similar right now."
Hernandez looked round. Mayweather, sat almost directly behind Partridge, was clearly enjoying the sight. After several seconds her words sunk in, and he guiltily returned to his work.
"So what do you call this?" Archer asked.
"A poly-spectral image analyser and enhancement unit."
"Poly-spectral?" asked Hernandez. "It works on multiple frequencies?"
"No. I named it after myself. The prototype was the Partridge-spectral image analyser and enhancement unit, but I thought that was too formal."
Hoshi giggled.
Suddenly Partridge stiffened. "Wait a minute...I'm getting...looks like weapons fire. Mr Kaufman, I'm sending readings to your station. Your analysis please."
"Confirmed. Looks like plasma fire. About three fifty gigajoule yield."
Archer felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Three fifty gigajoules! Main cannon on a Neptune class frigate!
He leapt to his feet. "Haleh, set course for the source of that weapons fire. Travis, implement course change the second it comes through. Hoshi, set condition one throughout the ship. Battle stations!"
He turned to the viewscreen, fists clenched.
We've got them!