Star Trek's Euphemisms for Sex?

[sbk1234]

Today in the 21st century, we have a lot of ways to say one is going to have sex:

Take the skin boat to tuna town
Give the log to the beaver
park the Plymouth into the garage of love
mattress mambo
Give her the old pickle tickle
ride the baloney pony
service the clam
Sweep the chimney

and you get the idea. There are many, MANY others. Some are quite creative.

Well, by the 23rd and 24th centuries, there surely will be more euphemisms for doing the nasty that take into account the time period of the day.

Maybe firing phasers or I'll be beaming her.

Maybe climax will be called hitting warp speed.

So what are your ideas?

 

[Silvercrest]

Firing torpedoes... full spread.

Sending in a landing party.

Making First Contact.

Breaching the Galactic Barrier.

Ejecting the warp core.

Oh, and the most obvious: "Going where no man has gone before!"


References to pon farr or oo-mox are disqualified, though. That's just lazy.

 

[HIjol]

Your Core
Heats me...
My Nacelle
Powers Up...
Warp Fields
Folding, Wrapping 'round...
Reaction Building
Increasing...
Vision blurred
Spectral Shift...
Utterance Indeterminant...
One Word Identifiable
"Engage"...

 

[Maurice]

Docking sequence engaged.
Loading the torpedo bays.
Giving her all she's got.
Entering the Neutral Zone.
Cloaking the torpedo.
Polishing the Romulan's Helmet. (TOS)

 

[2takesfrakes]

Don't come knockin' when the shuttle starts rockin'

The Picard Manuever (being in 2 places at 1 time)

Crazy Mugatu Love

The Horta with 2 Backs

Back Door Deltan

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Beaming her up
Risan cake

 

[wulfio]

I am going to run a diagnostic on you.

 

[Melakon]

You will be ass stimulated.

 

[1001001]

I was at a convention years ago, and I heard one guy say to another:

"Damn! I'd like to do her in the Beta Quadrant!"

 

[Silvercrest]

^


Some people are just looking for par'mach in all the wrong places.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Re-crystallizing the dilithium"

"Regenerating two to a cubicle"

 

[Kevman7987]

• Docking at her starbase
• Feeding her tribbles after midnight
• Detonating the Constellation in the mouth of her Doomsday Machine
• Cleaning her antimatter injectors
• Assimilating her with your injection tubule

 

[JirinPanthosa]

The Other Vulcan Nerve Pinch
Evolving The Species
Applied Xenobiology

 

[Armored Saint]

My frequencies are open, Mister Spock.

Mister Scott, you have my conn.

General Order 34 in the holodeck

Finding his/her sword of Kahless

 

[Melakon]

Vulcan loin meld: "Open your legs."

 

[T'Girl]

More of a symbolic sexual metaphor, than a euphemism.

 

[Kirby]

Uploading the Captain's Log.

 

[scotpens]

Today in the 21st century, we have a lot of ways to say one is going to have sex:

Take the skin boat to tuna town
Give the log to the beaver
park the Plymouth into the garage of love
mattress mambo
Give her the old pickle tickle
ride the baloney pony
service the clam
Sweep the chimney

Except for "mattress mambo" (and its variant, "doing the horizontal mambo"), I've never heard any of those. I guess I need to get out more often.

 

[HIjol]

..."nailing" frequencies open...wide open...

 

[Armored Saint]

Be long and prosper

Doing the Captain's chair