Star Trek XI Caption Contest #29: Two Years and Two Beers

[UFO]

Spock: "This crew has exceeded its awesomeness quotient. Tomorrow morning, all hands are to report to the bridge for a reverse makeover at Oh-eight-hundred hours sharp."

Kirk: "No more makeovers. The last one took 10 years off our ages!"

Uhura: "You say that like it's a bad thing."

 

[Finn]

Uhura:Janeway Coffee, extra black. And keep it coming. I've been sitting here forever.

 

[cooleddie74]

UHURA: Give me two Rusty Trombones, one Dirty Sanchez and a Two-Fisted Knuckle Shuffle.

LONG-FACED ALIEN(snickers uncontrollably)

UHURA: What?!

 

[cooleddie74]

UHURA: It's true, Spock.

I told them all how much you suck in the sack.

 

[Finn]

Uhura: Are you okay, Sweetie?

nuSpock: i just spoke with....my older self

Chekov: What did he talk about?

nuSpock: He gave me some warnings. Chekov, when you are on an aircraft carrier, go left. Scotty, watch out for that beam. Sulu, we all know, Sulu, we know. And Jim...

Jim: What?

nuSpock: When you meet Carol... Never mind.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: Your secret's out, Spock.

Uhura told us everything.

Don't worry...we won't tell anyone at the free clinic.

 

[Captain Zog]

Uhura: This menu is in French. Now, I know I'm a trainee communications officer who specializes in languages, but how do they expect me to be able to understand FRENCH of all things?"

Kirk: "So you're telling us the Narada destroyed half of Starfleet. And half of Starfleet is about six ships - all of which are staffed mostly by cadets."

Spock: "Correct."

Chekov: "Things would never have turned out like this if the Russians were in charge."

 

[Amaris]

Woohoo! Thanks for the win!

Unfortunately for Uhura, in this bar, everyone knew her name.

 

[Woulfe]

Star Trek 2 : do we really need a sub-title so it won't be confused with The Wrath Of Kahn, are people really that dumb ?

Uhura : Let's see.... I'll have the Roddenberry pecan pie for myself, Kirk wants The Justman fruit salad, Spock wants the Solow salad bowl, McCoy wants the Fontana fondu flambe, Checkov wants the Shatner stake tartar, Scotty wants the Nimoy nibble nuggets, Sulu wants the DeKelly southern fried chicken....

Guy behind counter : Will that be for here or to go ?

Uhura : To go please....

~ L A T E R ~

Uhura : We took a vote, Next time you pick up the food, Spock

Spock : Damn....

 

[cooleddie74]

UHURA: Damn.

This place has REALLY gotten overpriced since Disney Holoprises took over.

CHEKOV: You know...

Standing around awkvardly...in funny shirts?

It vas a Russian inwention.

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA:Its taking forever to get our orders, anyone catch the name of our server?

ALIEN: The name tag said "Rat Boy"

 

[BriGuy]

Uhura: Hey! They got deep-fried tribble!!!

 

[TiberiusMaximus]

Uhura, thinking: I try not to be prejudiced...but seriously, could this alien be any uglier?

Alien, thinking: I try not to be prejudiced...but seriously, could this alien be any uglier?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Alien: "Hey, pretty lady! When I saw you across the bar, I just had to come over and talk to you! I just gotta find out if it's true that once you go black, you never go back!"
Uhura: "Well, let me save you some time. Go back. Now!"

 

[cooleddie74]

ALIEN: Can I buy you a screwdriver?

UHURA: Thanks...but no thanks.

I already have a boyfriend.

 

[Rat Boy]

Hi folks, no I'm not dead, just incredibly busy these days. Sadly too busy to continue running these caption contests. But, just as members of the community have stepped in during the past to keep the ball rolling, I entrust the TOS Caption Contest, Movie Caption Contest, and the Star Trek XI+ Caption Contest to those who are willing to pick up the flag. Anywho...

Uhura: "Ugh, nothing but light beer."

Spock: "Ah, Mr. Scott, you found my towel."

Scotty: "Aye, what was it doing next to your porno collection?"

Uhura: "Should have stuck with the Farragut."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: You're here to tell me you found my stash...


aren't you?