Star Trek XI Caption Contest #29: Two Years and Two Beers

[Rat Boy]

I like this contest, it's exciting, you know. Let's drive off into the sunset with...

Indeed...

Kirk: "Hmm. This driving things a snap. Just hope I don't lose my skills over time. That would just be embarrassing."

Promenade out the room, promenade like a bride and groom...

HOSTESS/CALLER: (along with fiddle music)

Whop him low and whop him high,
Stick your finger in his eye.
Kick him in the shins, grab him by the neck,
Bang his head against the deck.

Great Scott(y)...

"Just wait 'til I get this baby up to 88 miles per hour. Then we're going to see some serious shit."

Congratulations to the winners. This month, Uhura places an order and Kirk starts giving them. Have at and see you in June:

 

[Rat Boy]

Uhura: "Coors? Blech!"

Spock: "I have made it with a woman. Inform the men."

Uhura: "Mom said date a nice human and did I listen to her? Noooooooo!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Uhura: "I can't decide between the Mugatu kabob or the Horta melt."

 

[LeadHead]

Uhura: 3 Budweiser Classics, 4 Miller Lites and a Pacifico.

Bartender: 8 crappy beers, coming right up.

Spock: Doctor, Mister Chekov is correct, I can confirm his telemetry. If Mister Sulu is able to maneuver us into position...

Sulu: Uhhhhh.....

Spock: I can beam aboard Nero's Ship...

Scotty: Uh-oh.

Spock: Steal back the black hole device and if possible, bring back Captain Pike.

Kirk: Spock, you do know that none of us even came close to finishing our training, right?

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Uhura: "Another lens flare, please."

Kirk: "Can we expect any reinforcements from Starfleet?"

Spock: "Unfortunatley, we cannot. Most of the fleet has gathered at the Annual Fleet-wide Pot Luck in the Laurentian System."

McCoy: "That damn potluck's always done more harm than good."

 

[Vassa]

Agent Klatl'z of the HaVr'kin Empire, status update #454:
My efforts to blend in are proceeding well. I have already acquired several Federation ship schematics, training manuals, and operational protocols.
Best of all, I have recently uncovered a rich source of future blackmail material!

 

[Finn]

*Thinking* "Mmmm. I didn't realize root beer was a favorite of that Cardassian poet's.."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Uhura: "Uuum, how many carbs are there in everything? The menu doesn't say. Do you mind waiting here until I figure out what I want to order, Mr. Waiter?"

 

[LeadHead]

Uhura: I'll have 3 Budweiser Classics-

Bartender: Sorry, they moved the brewery into that ship they're building a few miles from here.

Kirk: Spock, forget something?

Spock: No.

McCoy: Spock, are you sure that you didn't forget anything?

Spock: No.

Scotty walks up from behind.

Scotty: Hey, who's the Vulcan guy and why isn't he wearing any pants?

 

[UFO]

Uhura: Hmmm, Has anyone tried the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster?

Spock: No fair! I want my ship back ... I MEAN IT ... I'LL HOLD MY BREATH!

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: I fail to see why you are upset. I merely stated the Nurse Chapel looked attractive in her uniform...

Uhura hardens her glare.

SPOCK: Back me up guys!!!

silence

 

[Finn]

Kirk: Spock, forget something?

Spock: No.

McCoy: Spock, are you sure that you didn't forget anything?

Spock: No.

Scotty walks up from behind.

Scotty: Hey, who's the Vulcan guy and why isn't he wearing any pants?

Spock: I was thrown off the guard by the fact Sulu isn't looking at me at all.

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: This place sucks. I'm heading over to the Stinking Gorn.

 

[Skywalker]

 

[cooleddie74]

UHURA: Pabst Blue Ribbon?!

They still MAKE that shit?!

CHEKOV: Vould dees be a bad time to tell you all dat dees mission is doing terrible things to my perm?

 

[cooleddie74]

...I'll have eight Jacks and Cokes, two highballs, a sour amaretto and five hits from a defibrillator.

 

[M'Sharak]

MENU: *Anti-Matter Reaction Hot Wings (extra spicy)*
UHURA: Mmmm... hey Lew! How are the wings?
LEW: Borderline toxic. I can have some ready for you in about ten.
UHURA: Ten minutes? Sure, I can wait that long. Set me up an order.

Uhura: Hmmm, Has anyone tried the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster?

Fred the Bar Alien: (snorts in beer) Nerds!

 

[Balrog]

Uhura: "...and I'll have a slushy, and some soylent green, and some blue nerf cubes, and some pretzels, and a Tribble Surprise, aaaaaand a Budweiser."

Kirk: "If you want to join our crew you've gotta REALLY hate the Romulans."

Spock: "I do."

Kirk: "Oh yeah? How much?"

Spock: "A lot!"

Kirk: "...right, you're in..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

K'LAVIN: ...and with enough of the stuff you could punch a hole in fabric of time and space, possibly travel through the hole and wind up in another universe.

UHURA:Uh,right. (thinking) Every bar has a know it all loser spouting BS

 

[cooleddie74]

UHURA: Gimme three bottles of Stolichnaya. Unopened.

I've got xenolinguistics finals in a couple of days. I'm gonna NEED this.