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Pike: "Ah, back on earth! This bar used to feature some bitchin' rock bands back in the day! What's the featured act tonight?" Woman: "Shirtless, fat-guy karaoke." Pike: "WTF? I must have been out in space longer than I thought!"
Commentator: … and unbelievably Kirk, a complete outsider, is gaining ground on the leaders! Spock still has the inside running but Kirk is really on a mission! Oh no, this is incredible folks! Pike, the current favourite, has broken just as the field approaches a massive hurdle. Further back, Sulu is trapped on the rail, but enjoys a reputation for coming from behind …
Pike: "Gentlemen, since there's a one in three chance of one of you dying, I'm sending the expendable Mr. Kirk and understudy Mr. Sulu with our chief engineer. He's just too valuable to risk."