Star Trek XI Caption Contest #25: Pike's Peak

[Rat Boy]

Slappy belated new beer, everybody. Let's kick off 2011 by honoring...

Well, that explains that...

Sulu: Well, at least the chairs are comfortable.

Checkov: Also inwented in Russia.

Sulu: You're a Savant aren't you?

Inxay on the uturefay...

Spock: I disagree gentlemen, this situation is not as bad as that time I strangled the captain half to death in a fit of sexual arousal.
Kirk: What?
Spock: Or when engineer Scott was put on trial for knifing a lap dancer to death.
Scotty: What?

Abraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaams!

Harold: "Give me one hot second...I almost got him!"

Kumar: "Dude, we are totally not supposed to be playing video games at work..."

Congratulations to the winners. This week, we have Captain Pike thinking of a way to bump up his recruiting quota for the month and also Captain Pike taking the guys down to the basement to show off his collection of Orion erotica. Caption away and see you in February:

 

[Rat Boy]

Pike: "All of you: out. Expect the one behind me in the see-through shirt; you can stay."

Pike: "This is a critical operation; timing will be of the essence."

Spock: "I am honored to serve, Captain."

Pike: "Not you, Commander. It's also a dangerous operation, which is why I'm sending Lieutenant Parking Brake and Cadet Daddy Issues."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Woman in shadows: "Hah! I gotcha now, you hot hunk of Starfleet beef!"

Kirk: "Hey, dude, why are you crouching down there with a camera?"
Male voice (OS): "Just keep walking, gentlemen, don't mind me! I'm just waitin' for some of those mini-skirt uniforms to come walkin' by!"
Kirk: "Gotcha, bro!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

GIRL: Gosh, he's even dreamier in person.

PIKE: And his is where we brew "Pikes Private Reserve". Finest beer in the Galaxy.

KIRK: Then wheres the engine room?

PIKE: Room? Son, its the 23rd Century. Its all controlled from a touch pad on the bridge.

 

[LeadHead]

Pike: Just give me a sec to place some bets and then you guys can get back to the fight.

Pike: Mister Kirk, Mister Sulu and Engineer Goosefood, whoops Olsen will space jump from the shuttle. You'll land on the platform, you'll get inside, disable it then beam back.

Kirk: What's Plan B?

Pike: Well I suppose you could land on it kill some Romulans then just shoot it until it doesn't work anymore.

Kirk: It seems more likely.

 

[Bob Karo]

Pike: See this? This is how a starship captain swaggers. If any of you boys want to get your own ship one day, you need to get this down.

 

[UFO]

Pike (thinks to himself): Not again. Well, at least this one's still alive.
Hmmm, I wonder if I should give those cadets a bit of a talking to sometime?

Kirk: I understand the plan Sir, but I still have one question.

Pike: What's that son?

Kirk: Didn't we pass this way 20 minutes ago?

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

Sulu: ''Sir, where are the power transfer conduits?''
Pike: ''They are all around us, and one of them leads to the fridge in my quarters.''
Spock: ''Fascinating.''

Pike: ''What a crap... A 23rd century computer expo, and they don't have 220'' giga-HD monitors and ultraviolet-ray disc players...''

 

[Woulfe]

Star Trek : XI've had the time of my life....

Lady [thinking] : Don't look at his butt, don't look at his butt, don't look at his butt.... DAMN

Pike [thinking] : I hope no one looks at my butt.... DAMN

Pike : Are you all looking at my butt back there ?

Kirk : No

Spock : No

Sulu : Uhm, Er, What was the question again ?

 

[LeadHead]

Pike: Mister Spock, I'm leaving you in command of the Enterprise. Commodore Decker is on his way to join us.

Spock: Uhhh, Kirk, wanna trade jobs?

Kirk: No way!

Pike: I'm the Health Inspector, we've been informed that contraband is in this establishment. Where are these... Budweiser Classics?

 

[6079SmithW]

Pike: Opens door. Enters bar. Stares sternly off into distance. Camera focuses on ruggedly handsome face. Dramatic mucic plays.

Woman: You do realize that you're talking out loud, right?

Pike: Wha... Damn it! Not again!

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Pike: (to Cupcake) I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle. (to kirk) Come with me if you want to live

Pike: And over here is where we brew our finest whiskey.

Kirk: I thought this ship ran on beer?

 

[Vassa]

Thanks for the win!

Damn it! I mention my favorite bar in one commencement speech and it turns into drunken brawl central. I hate redshirt cadets!

Pike: Standing order number 4 Gentlemen, "Redshirts are trained to handle dangerous situations." Remember that and you'll go far.

 

[Aragorn]

Kirk was amazed by the sound of how awesome Pike was entering the bar and knew he must learn Pike's secret.

 

[alte]

 

[cooleddie74]

PIKE: I SAID...

My beers...are on the house!

SULU: I know this is a bad time to bring this up, sir...but...nice ass.

 

[cooleddie74]

PIKE: Hello.

My name is Christopher Pike.

I'm looking for the four-fingered man who killed my father.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PIKE: This way?
KIRK : No, this way.
PIKE: I see, this way.
KIRK: Straight through. Rock 'n roll! Hello Cleveland! Hello Cleveland!!!

 

[cooleddie74]

Never was a starship crew more determined to taste free samples at a Rigellian brewery...

 

[cooleddie74]

PIKE: Nice bar.

Do you get a free bowl of soup with it?