@psCargile Wow, I appreciate your eagerness to get straight to the end. I think you're doing a good job evaluating as it is though. I like when a reader notices the subtle things as we go along - makes the effort worthwhile.
STAR TREK: ULYSSES - "False Idol" (OCs, short story)
- Thread starter Kuri
- Start date
Even if you don't care for his genre or style, Stephen King's On Writing is a must read for aspiring authors. In it, his advice is to not share your first draft, only the second and later drafts, as the first draft is not your best draft. We all break this rule, me included. After you complete the first draft, you go back and edit it, removing what doesn't serve the story, clarifying things, fixing grammar and spelling, and all that. Then you rewrite. That's the general advice, not that it has to be followed. I constantly edit my writing, so my first draft quickly becomes the second and third at the beginning of the document and the first where I left off. I have a friend who reads my stuff, and even if it is complete, he reads and makes comments as he goes instead of reading the entire thing first, and then going back to make comments. Sometimes his questions are answered further into the story. It's aggravating because it's wasteful for me to have to address an issue that gets explained later in the story.
We all like instant gratification and want constructive criticism immediately. However, when we critique chapter by chapter, we may find raised questions or concerns will be answered in following chapters, and if we are instead allowed to read a finished draft, we might not have those same questions and concerns if you have written well. My first post might be a moot point if I had a finished draft to read. This is the caveat of posting as you write and wanting immediate feedback. Not that it shouldn't be done. Do it however.
It's not that I'm eager to get to the end, but that a full critique has to wait until you're finished.
We all like instant gratification and want constructive criticism immediately. However, when we critique chapter by chapter, we may find raised questions or concerns will be answered in following chapters, and if we are instead allowed to read a finished draft, we might not have those same questions and concerns if you have written well. My first post might be a moot point if I had a finished draft to read. This is the caveat of posting as you write and wanting immediate feedback. Not that it shouldn't be done. Do it however.
It's not that I'm eager to get to the end, but that a full critique has to wait until you're finished.
@CeJay Muahaha. Just between you and me, I was this close (*holds up thumb and forefinger a small space apart*) to killing off Captain Toure here. Gotta Kill Your Darlings to make it interesting.
@psCargile
Aggravating? You want to hook the reader and arouse their curiosity. You want them to pay close attention and ask questions. In turn, you need to pay close attention to those questions. If your beta is asking them, another reader is also bound to. If you have the payoff for that interest ready later in the story, it's the right sort of question. Only if they start asking or discussing irrelevant things do you need to worry you did something wrong - which in itself is priceless feedback.
Far from being moot points, I'm gratified you noticed a carefully crafted cookiee in the opening chapter. And I'm glad you figured the motivations and methods of Toure so quickly, and commented on the subtletly - I thought it was almost a bit too obvious myself.
Not so sure about that. A reader can decide how they feel about a story as they go. For me, every chapter needs to hook, hold and end on a cliffhangar, as well as link together the various pieces of the puzzle by the end. It's no use having a wicked good ending if the reader has lost interest and dropped the book before they get there. This is doubly true in the internet age.
Anyway, I hope I can hold your interest for that full critique at the end, if you still feel like giving it.
@psCargile
Ooh yeh I'll second that one. I'm an admirer of King, particularly his ability to spin a gripping yarn in almost any genre. He's like a musician that can pick up any instrument and produce a sweet tune. I can't imagine sharing anything before third or even fourth draft.
Aggravating? You want to hook the reader and arouse their curiosity. You want them to pay close attention and ask questions. In turn, you need to pay close attention to those questions. If your beta is asking them, another reader is also bound to. If you have the payoff for that interest ready later in the story, it's the right sort of question. Only if they start asking or discussing irrelevant things do you need to worry you did something wrong - which in itself is priceless feedback.
Far from being moot points, I'm gratified you noticed a carefully crafted cookiee in the opening chapter. And I'm glad you figured the motivations and methods of Toure so quickly, and commented on the subtletly - I thought it was almost a bit too obvious myself.
Not so sure about that. A reader can decide how they feel about a story as they go. For me, every chapter needs to hook, hold and end on a cliffhangar, as well as link together the various pieces of the puzzle by the end. It's no use having a wicked good ending if the reader has lost interest and dropped the book before they get there. This is doubly true in the internet age.
Anyway, I hope I can hold your interest for that full critique at the end, if you still feel like giving it.
Chapter 7
A CORUSCATING BEAM OF LIGHTNING arced from the baleful eye of the monster. Mack watched, horrified, as the thunderbolt bathed Smythe’s form and he disintegrated at the sub-atomic level. The senior science officer was annihilated in a heartbeat. Mack looked back at the colossus. The eye was surrounded with a corona of crackling energy. Its metallic physique pulsated with roiling power.
The marine turned and charged back to Captain Toure and Kimi. Behind him, another deafening groan shook the stadium, followed by an earth-shaking boom. He did not need to look to know the… thing… had taken a step.
“We’re leaving,” Toure said, turning towards the exit.
“But, the equipment, the camp…” began Kimi.
Mack caught up to them and grabbed her arm. “Forget the damn stuff! Go, go, go!”
The landing party stampeded to the gaping avenue that led out of the hall. Another incandescent river of energy erupted and scorched through the abandoned camp, obliterating everything.
They ran on in darkness as an unearthly wind gushed through the tunnel from behind. Tremendous vibrations shook the ground like seismic shocks. Mack forced his terror-stricken muscles to pump, loping behind Toure, Kimi and Ch’vo. His breath came in gasps that hissed within his gasmask. Instinctively, he checked on his squad.
Kimi was quick – Mack recalled the slender biologist was a tennis player at college – and he was relieved to see Toure kept herself in taut shape for a fifty-year old. Ch’vo was struggling, though. He lagged, horror sapping his energy. Mack hooked the Andorian under an arm.
“Move!” he commanded like a drill sergeant.
Another thunderous step from the giant added impetus and Ch’vo stumbled on. They rounded a corner of the spiraling corridor and sprinted for the next, the reverberations of their titanic pursuer’s footsteps filling their ears.
When they reached the final turn and Ismares’ faint glow offered sanctuary to the outside, Mack stopped and unslung his rifle. He gazed up at the ceiling, hundreds of metres above, frowning. Then he set for maximum power and aimed.
Ch’vo noticed. “What are you doing? You will bring the whole mountain down!”
“That’s the idea…” Mack opened fire with an extended burst of phaser fire, playing it along the corners, adjusting for the range. Cracks appeared. Chunks of rock fell. The mountain bellowed its pain, and the behemoth roared back – an otherworldly voice that saturated the cavern.
They scampered outside, where Toure and Kimi were already in the shuttle. Deafening rumbles exploded from the great entrance, followed by clouds of expanding dust as the mountain collapsed from within. Mack and Ch’vo scrambled into the shuttle’s rear access and Toure lifted off before the exit had even closed. The ranger sprang skyward, narrowly avoiding massive landslides cascading down the mountainside.
Mack took his place beside the captain, taking over pilot controls. They all strapped in and ripped off gasmasks, gasping for breath.
Toure took several breaths. “What just happened?"
“The Ismaren’s god!” wailed Ch’vo. “It is real!”
“There are no such things as gods, Doctor,” said Toure.
“No, do you not see? The Star Vampire, it is their god. They must have discovered it, communicated with it somehow, then used their technology to build it this avatar… Called it down from the heavens…”
“And then it devoured them all,” Kimi nodded furiously, her voice a whisper. “Just like Dr. Smythe. That’s why there were no remains…”
“The extinction event.” Toure’s face was set in stone.
“And after the feast ended, after it purged the entire planet, it returned to its solar cradle and waited, feeding on its former diet after all those tiny sweetmeats…”
A bellow rolled across the purple landscape. Mack checked the rear-view monitor. Amongst the collapsed rubble of Point Olympus, a pale silver fist punched upwards.
“It’s coming out!” said Mack.
“Of course it is,” said Ch’vo. “Did you think a mere mountain could stand in its way? The power of the stars is coiled into that thing!”
Toure leaned forward and switched the ranger’s communicator.
“Toure to Ulysses: Who’s on bridge?”
“Captain, it’s just me, Erika,” came the navigator’s voice. “Sanjay’s got everyone out for a kickaround. Did you feel that tremor? I thought Dr. Ch’vo said…”
“Ms. Berg, sound red alert. Prepare for launch to orbit, immediately.”
“Yes, Captain! Is it an earthquake?”
“Not an earthquake, Erika. Much, much worse…”
.
A CORUSCATING BEAM OF LIGHTNING arced from the baleful eye of the monster. Mack watched, horrified, as the thunderbolt bathed Smythe’s form and he disintegrated at the sub-atomic level. The senior science officer was annihilated in a heartbeat. Mack looked back at the colossus. The eye was surrounded with a corona of crackling energy. Its metallic physique pulsated with roiling power.
The marine turned and charged back to Captain Toure and Kimi. Behind him, another deafening groan shook the stadium, followed by an earth-shaking boom. He did not need to look to know the… thing… had taken a step.
“We’re leaving,” Toure said, turning towards the exit.
“But, the equipment, the camp…” began Kimi.
Mack caught up to them and grabbed her arm. “Forget the damn stuff! Go, go, go!”
The landing party stampeded to the gaping avenue that led out of the hall. Another incandescent river of energy erupted and scorched through the abandoned camp, obliterating everything.
They ran on in darkness as an unearthly wind gushed through the tunnel from behind. Tremendous vibrations shook the ground like seismic shocks. Mack forced his terror-stricken muscles to pump, loping behind Toure, Kimi and Ch’vo. His breath came in gasps that hissed within his gasmask. Instinctively, he checked on his squad.
Kimi was quick – Mack recalled the slender biologist was a tennis player at college – and he was relieved to see Toure kept herself in taut shape for a fifty-year old. Ch’vo was struggling, though. He lagged, horror sapping his energy. Mack hooked the Andorian under an arm.
“Move!” he commanded like a drill sergeant.
Another thunderous step from the giant added impetus and Ch’vo stumbled on. They rounded a corner of the spiraling corridor and sprinted for the next, the reverberations of their titanic pursuer’s footsteps filling their ears.
When they reached the final turn and Ismares’ faint glow offered sanctuary to the outside, Mack stopped and unslung his rifle. He gazed up at the ceiling, hundreds of metres above, frowning. Then he set for maximum power and aimed.
Ch’vo noticed. “What are you doing? You will bring the whole mountain down!”
“That’s the idea…” Mack opened fire with an extended burst of phaser fire, playing it along the corners, adjusting for the range. Cracks appeared. Chunks of rock fell. The mountain bellowed its pain, and the behemoth roared back – an otherworldly voice that saturated the cavern.
They scampered outside, where Toure and Kimi were already in the shuttle. Deafening rumbles exploded from the great entrance, followed by clouds of expanding dust as the mountain collapsed from within. Mack and Ch’vo scrambled into the shuttle’s rear access and Toure lifted off before the exit had even closed. The ranger sprang skyward, narrowly avoiding massive landslides cascading down the mountainside.
Mack took his place beside the captain, taking over pilot controls. They all strapped in and ripped off gasmasks, gasping for breath.
Toure took several breaths. “What just happened?"
“The Ismaren’s god!” wailed Ch’vo. “It is real!”
“There are no such things as gods, Doctor,” said Toure.
“No, do you not see? The Star Vampire, it is their god. They must have discovered it, communicated with it somehow, then used their technology to build it this avatar… Called it down from the heavens…”
“And then it devoured them all,” Kimi nodded furiously, her voice a whisper. “Just like Dr. Smythe. That’s why there were no remains…”
“The extinction event.” Toure’s face was set in stone.
“And after the feast ended, after it purged the entire planet, it returned to its solar cradle and waited, feeding on its former diet after all those tiny sweetmeats…”
A bellow rolled across the purple landscape. Mack checked the rear-view monitor. Amongst the collapsed rubble of Point Olympus, a pale silver fist punched upwards.
“It’s coming out!” said Mack.
“Of course it is,” said Ch’vo. “Did you think a mere mountain could stand in its way? The power of the stars is coiled into that thing!”
Toure leaned forward and switched the ranger’s communicator.
“Toure to Ulysses: Who’s on bridge?”
“Captain, it’s just me, Erika,” came the navigator’s voice. “Sanjay’s got everyone out for a kickaround. Did you feel that tremor? I thought Dr. Ch’vo said…”
“Ms. Berg, sound red alert. Prepare for launch to orbit, immediately.”
“Yes, Captain! Is it an earthquake?”
“Not an earthquake, Erika. Much, much worse…”
.
Much worse indeed. If this thing killed an entire planet, what chance does the Ulysses and crew have, I wonder. Suddenly, the previously suggested notion to get as far away from this place as quickly as possible seems incredibly rational. Oh well, 20/20 hindsight and all that.
@CeJay Haha yeah. No-one will ever doubt Ch'vo from now on... Or will they? 
Thanks for the continued interest. And can any one tell me why I don't have the option to centre text/images here??? Is it a seniority thing activated after XX posted messages?
Chapter 8
THE FRANTIC CREW OF THE ULYSSES launched the scout ship in record time. Toure gripped the arms of the captain’s chair as the arrowhead-shaped craft powered out of orbit. On the bridge, everyone manned their controls with intense focus.
“Captain, it is pursuing us!” Ch’vo squeaked from his sensor station. All eyes turned his way. “I have picked up a massive energy signal leaving Ismar."
“Switching to rear-view,” said Toure. The main viewscreen flickered and gasps rolled around the bridge. Like a vengeful god, the colossus soared through space towards them, ephemeral butterfly wings of coruscating energy extending out from its four arms. Its massive eye-orb blazed with an incandescent corona.
“Mr. McNichol…” Toure remained calm.
“Powering up shields!” Mack flicked switches.
As the crew watched open-mouthed, a forked bolt of lightning erupted from the giant’s orb towards them. In moments the ship juddered with impact. Alarms screamed. A fire broke out beside Ch’vo’s station, which he quickly dealt with.
“We’re hit,” said Mack. “Went through the shields like they weren’t even there!”
“Damage report,” said Toure.
“Hull breach in engineering, power overload on circuits eight through seventeen.”
Toure flicked a switch on the arm of her command seat, “Mr. Gaaval, are you OK?”
“Sealing breach now,” grunted the Tellarite. “Danny’s putting out the fire.”
“Captain, I’m charging up phasers,” reported Mack.
“No, wait…” said Kimi. She left her station and came beside Toure’s chair. “It might hurt it!”
“Damn right it’ll hurt it!” said Mack. How he longed for the firepower of a proper battleship.
“It is still closing,” reported Ch’vo, gazing into his sensor screen. Mack glanced at the viewscreen. The monstrosity loomed ever larger, its baleful glare fixed upon them.
“Captain, maybe it doesn’t realise what it’s doing,” said Kimi. “If we just communicated with it…”
“Forget that,” said Ch’vo. “We must leave!”
“Ms. Berg, are we clear for warp?” said Toure.
Erika checked their proximity to the planet, “Clear, Captain!”
“Mr. Parmar, warp five, if you please,” said Toure.
Sanjay pulled a lever, “Yes, Captain.”
Nothing happened. The colossus continued to close on the screen.
“Mr. Parmar, warp five…” repeated the Captain.
“Helm’s not responding!” said the beefy pilot.
Toure flicked a switch, “Mr. Gaaval, status report.”
“Engines’re fine but straining,” the bearded mechanic sounded confused. “Something’s holding us back…”
Ch’vo gasped, transfixed by his sensor screen. “A massive focused gravitation field! Disengage warp engines!”
Toure repeated the order and Sanjay pulled back the lever.
“Alright, that’s it,” said Mack. “Captain, let me open fire!”
“No!” said Kimi. “It’s just acting naturally. If we bounce back its own signals from before…”
Toure looked from one to the other, breathed in, breathed out.
“OK, Ms. Shimizu; one chance. Load the data signal to comms. Ms. Sue, transmit when ready.”
“Yes, Captain,” replied the pretty ensign. Kimi dashed back to her station and her fingers danced over controls.
“Alright, Mary, there it is.”
The young comms operator pressed the transmit and cradled her earpiece. The crew waited, hypnotized by the daemonic eye filling the viewscreen. For a moment the orb went pale. Mack felt his heart pounding in his ribcage. Then the crackling corona returned, even more intense than before. The leviathan roared, the rumble rocking right through the starship.
Mack knew, intellectually, that it was not a roar. Vacuum did not carry soundwaves. It was merely an energy pulse vibrating the ship. But it sounded like damn roar to him, of a primeval monster from his darkest nightmares.
Several scanner stations fizzed and sparked. The lights flickered.
Mary Sue screamed. The crew turned just in time to witness her crumple to the deck, blood gushing from her ear. Kimi dashed across and knelt beside her. Her bottom lip trembled.
“She’s… dead…”
.
Thanks for the continued interest. And can any one tell me why I don't have the option to centre text/images here??? Is it a seniority thing activated after XX posted messages?
Chapter 8
THE FRANTIC CREW OF THE ULYSSES launched the scout ship in record time. Toure gripped the arms of the captain’s chair as the arrowhead-shaped craft powered out of orbit. On the bridge, everyone manned their controls with intense focus.
“Captain, it is pursuing us!” Ch’vo squeaked from his sensor station. All eyes turned his way. “I have picked up a massive energy signal leaving Ismar."
“Switching to rear-view,” said Toure. The main viewscreen flickered and gasps rolled around the bridge. Like a vengeful god, the colossus soared through space towards them, ephemeral butterfly wings of coruscating energy extending out from its four arms. Its massive eye-orb blazed with an incandescent corona.
“Mr. McNichol…” Toure remained calm.
“Powering up shields!” Mack flicked switches.
As the crew watched open-mouthed, a forked bolt of lightning erupted from the giant’s orb towards them. In moments the ship juddered with impact. Alarms screamed. A fire broke out beside Ch’vo’s station, which he quickly dealt with.
“We’re hit,” said Mack. “Went through the shields like they weren’t even there!”
“Damage report,” said Toure.
“Hull breach in engineering, power overload on circuits eight through seventeen.”
Toure flicked a switch on the arm of her command seat, “Mr. Gaaval, are you OK?”
“Sealing breach now,” grunted the Tellarite. “Danny’s putting out the fire.”
“Captain, I’m charging up phasers,” reported Mack.
“No, wait…” said Kimi. She left her station and came beside Toure’s chair. “It might hurt it!”
“Damn right it’ll hurt it!” said Mack. How he longed for the firepower of a proper battleship.
“It is still closing,” reported Ch’vo, gazing into his sensor screen. Mack glanced at the viewscreen. The monstrosity loomed ever larger, its baleful glare fixed upon them.
“Captain, maybe it doesn’t realise what it’s doing,” said Kimi. “If we just communicated with it…”
“Forget that,” said Ch’vo. “We must leave!”
“Ms. Berg, are we clear for warp?” said Toure.
Erika checked their proximity to the planet, “Clear, Captain!”
“Mr. Parmar, warp five, if you please,” said Toure.
Sanjay pulled a lever, “Yes, Captain.”
Nothing happened. The colossus continued to close on the screen.
“Mr. Parmar, warp five…” repeated the Captain.
“Helm’s not responding!” said the beefy pilot.
Toure flicked a switch, “Mr. Gaaval, status report.”
“Engines’re fine but straining,” the bearded mechanic sounded confused. “Something’s holding us back…”
Ch’vo gasped, transfixed by his sensor screen. “A massive focused gravitation field! Disengage warp engines!”
Toure repeated the order and Sanjay pulled back the lever.
“Alright, that’s it,” said Mack. “Captain, let me open fire!”
“No!” said Kimi. “It’s just acting naturally. If we bounce back its own signals from before…”
Toure looked from one to the other, breathed in, breathed out.
“OK, Ms. Shimizu; one chance. Load the data signal to comms. Ms. Sue, transmit when ready.”
“Yes, Captain,” replied the pretty ensign. Kimi dashed back to her station and her fingers danced over controls.
“Alright, Mary, there it is.”
The young comms operator pressed the transmit and cradled her earpiece. The crew waited, hypnotized by the daemonic eye filling the viewscreen. For a moment the orb went pale. Mack felt his heart pounding in his ribcage. Then the crackling corona returned, even more intense than before. The leviathan roared, the rumble rocking right through the starship.
Mack knew, intellectually, that it was not a roar. Vacuum did not carry soundwaves. It was merely an energy pulse vibrating the ship. But it sounded like damn roar to him, of a primeval monster from his darkest nightmares.
Several scanner stations fizzed and sparked. The lights flickered.
Mary Sue screamed. The crew turned just in time to witness her crumple to the deck, blood gushing from her ear. Kimi dashed across and knelt beside her. Her bottom lip trembled.
“She’s… dead…”
.
You had a character named Mary Sue... and you killed her! 
I loved the reveal of the statue being an avatar for whatever entity lurks within the star. The sudden demise of Smythe was both shocking and funny. I half expected him to go out while bleating, "Oh, jolly good sho--"
The frantic escape from the temple mountain and then the pursuit into orbit and beyond were really well done, very exciting. I have no idea how they'll get out of this mess, but I eagerly await the next installment.
I loved the reveal of the statue being an avatar for whatever entity lurks within the star. The sudden demise of Smythe was both shocking and funny. I half expected him to go out while bleating, "Oh, jolly good sho--"
The frantic escape from the temple mountain and then the pursuit into orbit and beyond were really well done, very exciting. I have no idea how they'll get out of this mess, but I eagerly await the next installment.
A pdf of the whole episode would be nice once we are done with these commercial breaks.
A lingering question I have is why we should side with Ch'vo up in chapter one? My impression is that his personal stakes are the salvaging of his reputation, while the plot stakes are, of course, saving the ship.
A lingering question I have is why we should side with Ch'vo up in chapter one? My impression is that his personal stakes are the salvaging of his reputation, while the plot stakes are, of course, saving the ship.
@Gibraltar LOL. Yeah, killing Mary Sue was as much a statement of intent as whacking Smythe the science officer - while he was standing right next to a redshirt.
I quite liked "Most intriguing!" as his final words, but "Jolly good show!" could have worked too.
@psCargile Yes, I was intending to put that out at the end (just one more week!), but I can pm the pdf? I know I can trust your discretion on spoilers. On Ch'vo, I certainly hope the reader doesn't side with him.
I quite liked "Most intriguing!" as his final words, but "Jolly good show!" could have worked too.@psCargile Yes, I was intending to put that out at the end (just one more week!), but I can pm the pdf? I know I can trust your discretion on spoilers. On Ch'vo, I certainly hope the reader doesn't side with him.
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Chapter 9
“MR MCNICHOL, LOCK PHASERS,” said Captain Toure.
Kimi sprang to her feet. “Wait! If I re-modulate the signal… try standard frequency… it talked to those people down on Ismar…”
Mack stormed beside the young scientist and grabbed her arm, spinning her toward the body of Mary Sue.
“Look at that, Kimi!” he shouted. She closed her eyes.
“Look!” he shook her violently. “That’s what you get for talking to it!”
“Alright, that’s enough Mr. McNichol. Both of you, return to your stations.”
Mack dashed back. Toure continued, “Set for fifty percent. Maybe if we sting it, it will break off.”
Kimi limped back to her own station, trembling. Mack set the controls.
“Opening fire, now…”
They watched the viewscreen as a crimson beam shot out towards the monster. The arc slammed into its eye.
“Direct hit,” reported Mack.
“Assessment, Dr. Ch’vo?” said Toure.
“Perturbing…” Ch’vo adjusted his sensors. “No change in my readings.”
“It didn’t make a dent!” Mack said, peering at the screen. The eye crackled again. Another fork of lightning surged across space towards the Ulysses. The scout ship rocked so violently the crew had to grab stabilizer bars to prevent falling from seats. Fresh alarms yelled their anguish.
Mack checked damage readings. “Port deuterium banks breached and spilling… Transporter section, ugh, catastrophic damage!”
The internal comm crackled and Gaaval growled, “Captain, we’re bleeding deuterium, Cooper’s down, and Danny’s dead!”
Toure closed her eyes and flicked the comm on her armrest, “Dr. Randall, we need medical assistance in engineering. And can you send Talia up here? We have a casualty on bridge.”
“On it!” huffed a female voice.
Toure turned to Mack. “Open fire, full power.”
Kimi did not object this time. Mack surveyed his weapons controls.
“Targeting scanners are fried. I can’t get a lock…”
“Best shot by eye, Mr. McNichol,” said Toure.
“Aye, Captain,” said Mack. He flipped a switch and a wavering crosshairs appeared over a starfield on a screen at his station. The colossus was reduced to a dot. Mack frowned, sweating, clutching the emergency manual joystick for the phaser bank.
“Hold her steady, Sanjay,” he said, goading the crosshairs. Then a chance. Mack blasted the creature once, twice, three times before the bank needed recharging. He checked the viewscreen, a primal panic rising.
“No damage!”
“It is almost upon us…” said Ch’vo. “Range; ten thousand…”
Toure drew in a deep breath, “OK, Mr. Parmar, evasive actions. Can we break free of this gravity beam?”
The hunky pilot exchanged a glance with Erika. He said, “If we split ninety-degrees, and execute a dive…”
“How do we make that tight a radius?” said Erika.
“We fire all the retro-thrusters simultaneously…”
“They are not meant for that use!” said Erika.
“It’ll be like an emergency brake.”
“At this speed you’ll rip the nacelles off!” said Erika.
“She’ll hold together…” said Sanjay.
Toure said, “OK. Ms. Berg, what’s the margin of error on structural failure?”
The stout navigator ran a hand through her short blonde hair. “I need time to compute the variables. This sort of thing has never been done before.”
“Just estimate, please, Ms. Berg,” stress was coming through in Toure’s voice now. Somehow that worried Mack more than anything else.
Erika opened her mouth, closed it again, closed her eyes. Mack could see she was in distress. Finally she whispered, “Mid to high-forties percentage chance of hull disintegration.”
Toure cupped her chin, watching the closing colossus.
“OK. Mr. Parmar, execute evasive maneuver on my mark.”
.
“MR MCNICHOL, LOCK PHASERS,” said Captain Toure.
Kimi sprang to her feet. “Wait! If I re-modulate the signal… try standard frequency… it talked to those people down on Ismar…”
Mack stormed beside the young scientist and grabbed her arm, spinning her toward the body of Mary Sue.
“Look at that, Kimi!” he shouted. She closed her eyes.
“Look!” he shook her violently. “That’s what you get for talking to it!”
“Alright, that’s enough Mr. McNichol. Both of you, return to your stations.”
Mack dashed back. Toure continued, “Set for fifty percent. Maybe if we sting it, it will break off.”
Kimi limped back to her own station, trembling. Mack set the controls.
“Opening fire, now…”
They watched the viewscreen as a crimson beam shot out towards the monster. The arc slammed into its eye.
“Direct hit,” reported Mack.
“Assessment, Dr. Ch’vo?” said Toure.
“Perturbing…” Ch’vo adjusted his sensors. “No change in my readings.”
“It didn’t make a dent!” Mack said, peering at the screen. The eye crackled again. Another fork of lightning surged across space towards the Ulysses. The scout ship rocked so violently the crew had to grab stabilizer bars to prevent falling from seats. Fresh alarms yelled their anguish.
Mack checked damage readings. “Port deuterium banks breached and spilling… Transporter section, ugh, catastrophic damage!”
The internal comm crackled and Gaaval growled, “Captain, we’re bleeding deuterium, Cooper’s down, and Danny’s dead!”
Toure closed her eyes and flicked the comm on her armrest, “Dr. Randall, we need medical assistance in engineering. And can you send Talia up here? We have a casualty on bridge.”
“On it!” huffed a female voice.
Toure turned to Mack. “Open fire, full power.”
Kimi did not object this time. Mack surveyed his weapons controls.
“Targeting scanners are fried. I can’t get a lock…”
“Best shot by eye, Mr. McNichol,” said Toure.
“Aye, Captain,” said Mack. He flipped a switch and a wavering crosshairs appeared over a starfield on a screen at his station. The colossus was reduced to a dot. Mack frowned, sweating, clutching the emergency manual joystick for the phaser bank.
“Hold her steady, Sanjay,” he said, goading the crosshairs. Then a chance. Mack blasted the creature once, twice, three times before the bank needed recharging. He checked the viewscreen, a primal panic rising.
“No damage!”
“It is almost upon us…” said Ch’vo. “Range; ten thousand…”
Toure drew in a deep breath, “OK, Mr. Parmar, evasive actions. Can we break free of this gravity beam?”
The hunky pilot exchanged a glance with Erika. He said, “If we split ninety-degrees, and execute a dive…”
“How do we make that tight a radius?” said Erika.
“We fire all the retro-thrusters simultaneously…”
“They are not meant for that use!” said Erika.
“It’ll be like an emergency brake.”
“At this speed you’ll rip the nacelles off!” said Erika.
“She’ll hold together…” said Sanjay.
Toure said, “OK. Ms. Berg, what’s the margin of error on structural failure?”
The stout navigator ran a hand through her short blonde hair. “I need time to compute the variables. This sort of thing has never been done before.”
“Just estimate, please, Ms. Berg,” stress was coming through in Toure’s voice now. Somehow that worried Mack more than anything else.
Erika opened her mouth, closed it again, closed her eyes. Mack could see she was in distress. Finally she whispered, “Mid to high-forties percentage chance of hull disintegration.”
Toure cupped her chin, watching the closing colossus.
“OK. Mr. Parmar, execute evasive maneuver on my mark.”
.
@Gibraltar "This has not been a good day aboard the good ship Ulysses." That has a lovely ring to it. Might have to steal it for the captain's log 
. Or is it a famous quote I've missed?
. Or is it a famous quote I've missed?
Chapter 10
“CLOSING, CLOSING, FIVE THOUSAND,” said Dr. Ch’vo. The entire crew watched the viewscreen and the eye of their monstrous pursuer. “Four, three…”
“Mr. Parmar, execute evasive maneuver, now.”
Sanjay toggled his controls while Erika activated the retro-thrusters.
“Brace positions,” ordered Toure. Everyone held on as the G-forces built up beyond the tolerance of the nimble ship’s dampeners. The Ulysses skidded through space, decelerating, diving and turning all at once. The superstructure groaned its agony.
“Hull fracture on section four,” reported Mack to a sickening grinding sound.
“Come on baby, hold together…” Sanjay gritted his teeth.
“Two thousand, one… It is passing!” reported Ch’vo, hunched over his sensors.
A distant roar of anger rattled the bridge.
“It has passed!” yelled Ch’vo. “Gravity beam escape.”
“Warp five, Mr. Parmar,” said Toure.
Again the nacelles whined into action, but then died prematurely.
“Dammit!” said Sanjay. “What now?”
“Mr. Gaaval,” Toure touched her communicator. “We need warp, now.”
“Something’s shook loose,” growled the Tellarite. “Gimme a mo.”
“We do not have a moment, Mr. Gaaval,” said Toure.
“Yeh, I’m on my own here!”
Mack slapped a hand to his forehead. “Not again. Not now.”
“It has halted! Turning…” Ch’vo wailed.
“How long before it traps us again?” said Toure.
“I do not know… minutes…”
“Mr. Gaaval…” Toure tapped her armrest communicator again.
“Working on it!”
“Right… right…” Dr. Ch’vo turned away from his sensors. “Mr. Parmar, head for the star.”
Sanjay looked at the captain. She said, “Do it. Maximum impulse.”
The pilot obeyed and Toure faced the science officer.
“We cannot fight it or outrun it. You have a suggestion, Dr. Ch’vo?”
“The trilithium,” breathed the Andorian. “We utilise a torpedo and launch it into Ismares.”
“What will that do, Doctor?”
“If my calculations are correct, it should halt fusion at the core. Then it will collapse upon itself. It has enough mass… Then…”
“Supernova…” whispered Toure. The bridge fell into silence.
“But Captain,” Kimi spoke up again. “That might kill it.”
“Kimi, are you serious?” snapped Mack. Toure ignored them, eyes closed.
“Dr. Ch’vo, will that stop it?” she said.
“I honestly do not know, but this is what I theorise,” said the science officer. “It is made of energy, it feeds on energy, it seeks energy. I believe it is tracking us through energy signature. The helium flash from a nova will flood the entire system with energy, at the very least masking our signal to it.”
“We blind the Cyclops…” said Toure, nodding with understanding.
“At least long enough to make warp and escape,” finished Ch’vo.
“Captain…” Kimi slunk to beside Toure’s command throne again.
“Kimi, it’s going to kill us all. You do see that?” said Toure.
“There’s something else. This will trigger an astro-geological catastrophe. It will wipe out Ismar and all traces of the civilization – Dr. Smythe’s work… Do we have the right to make that decision?”
Ch’vo’s antennae curled and uncurled. “I am afraid she is right, Captain.”
Now Mack spoke up. “Captain, we have to do this.” Everyone turned to look at him. “Yes, I’m sorry about Ismar. But they’re gone. Long gone. The needs of the living outweigh the dead. Let me rig up the torp with Ch’vo, or we’re joining them!”
Toure closed her eyes and frowned. Eventually she said, “Get it ready.”
Ch’vo and Mack scrambled from the bridge. Behind him Mack heard Toure issuing commands.
“Ms. Shimizu, maintain status reports on the entity. Mr. Parmar, best speed towards Ismares. Mr. Gaaval, how are we for warp speed?”
Mack slid down a ladder towards the torpedo bay while Ch’vo headed for engineering and his trilithium stash. The scientist returned with an anti-grav trolley mounting a containment field around a throbbing orange mass. The Andorian slid the unit towards Mack’s open torpedo. The soldier disengaged the anti-matter warhead and lifted it out with a power-winch. He looked dubiously at the chest-sized blob.
“You sure that’s enough to do the trick?”
“No, but it will be a catalyst. The closer to the core it penetrates, the faster the chain reaction will proceed to quantum collapse.”
They completed the torpedo conversion and Mack opened his communicator.
“Torp’s ready, Captain.”
“Return to your stations.”
.
“CLOSING, CLOSING, FIVE THOUSAND,” said Dr. Ch’vo. The entire crew watched the viewscreen and the eye of their monstrous pursuer. “Four, three…”
“Mr. Parmar, execute evasive maneuver, now.”
Sanjay toggled his controls while Erika activated the retro-thrusters.
“Brace positions,” ordered Toure. Everyone held on as the G-forces built up beyond the tolerance of the nimble ship’s dampeners. The Ulysses skidded through space, decelerating, diving and turning all at once. The superstructure groaned its agony.
“Hull fracture on section four,” reported Mack to a sickening grinding sound.
“Come on baby, hold together…” Sanjay gritted his teeth.
“Two thousand, one… It is passing!” reported Ch’vo, hunched over his sensors.
A distant roar of anger rattled the bridge.
“It has passed!” yelled Ch’vo. “Gravity beam escape.”
“Warp five, Mr. Parmar,” said Toure.
Again the nacelles whined into action, but then died prematurely.
“Dammit!” said Sanjay. “What now?”
“Mr. Gaaval,” Toure touched her communicator. “We need warp, now.”
“Something’s shook loose,” growled the Tellarite. “Gimme a mo.”
“We do not have a moment, Mr. Gaaval,” said Toure.
“Yeh, I’m on my own here!”
Mack slapped a hand to his forehead. “Not again. Not now.”
“It has halted! Turning…” Ch’vo wailed.
“How long before it traps us again?” said Toure.
“I do not know… minutes…”
“Mr. Gaaval…” Toure tapped her armrest communicator again.
“Working on it!”
“Right… right…” Dr. Ch’vo turned away from his sensors. “Mr. Parmar, head for the star.”
Sanjay looked at the captain. She said, “Do it. Maximum impulse.”
The pilot obeyed and Toure faced the science officer.
“We cannot fight it or outrun it. You have a suggestion, Dr. Ch’vo?”
“The trilithium,” breathed the Andorian. “We utilise a torpedo and launch it into Ismares.”
“What will that do, Doctor?”
“If my calculations are correct, it should halt fusion at the core. Then it will collapse upon itself. It has enough mass… Then…”
“Supernova…” whispered Toure. The bridge fell into silence.
“But Captain,” Kimi spoke up again. “That might kill it.”
“Kimi, are you serious?” snapped Mack. Toure ignored them, eyes closed.
“Dr. Ch’vo, will that stop it?” she said.
“I honestly do not know, but this is what I theorise,” said the science officer. “It is made of energy, it feeds on energy, it seeks energy. I believe it is tracking us through energy signature. The helium flash from a nova will flood the entire system with energy, at the very least masking our signal to it.”
“We blind the Cyclops…” said Toure, nodding with understanding.
“At least long enough to make warp and escape,” finished Ch’vo.
“Captain…” Kimi slunk to beside Toure’s command throne again.
“Kimi, it’s going to kill us all. You do see that?” said Toure.
“There’s something else. This will trigger an astro-geological catastrophe. It will wipe out Ismar and all traces of the civilization – Dr. Smythe’s work… Do we have the right to make that decision?”
Ch’vo’s antennae curled and uncurled. “I am afraid she is right, Captain.”
Now Mack spoke up. “Captain, we have to do this.” Everyone turned to look at him. “Yes, I’m sorry about Ismar. But they’re gone. Long gone. The needs of the living outweigh the dead. Let me rig up the torp with Ch’vo, or we’re joining them!”
Toure closed her eyes and frowned. Eventually she said, “Get it ready.”
Ch’vo and Mack scrambled from the bridge. Behind him Mack heard Toure issuing commands.
“Ms. Shimizu, maintain status reports on the entity. Mr. Parmar, best speed towards Ismares. Mr. Gaaval, how are we for warp speed?”
Mack slid down a ladder towards the torpedo bay while Ch’vo headed for engineering and his trilithium stash. The scientist returned with an anti-grav trolley mounting a containment field around a throbbing orange mass. The Andorian slid the unit towards Mack’s open torpedo. The soldier disengaged the anti-matter warhead and lifted it out with a power-winch. He looked dubiously at the chest-sized blob.
“You sure that’s enough to do the trick?”
“No, but it will be a catalyst. The closer to the core it penetrates, the faster the chain reaction will proceed to quantum collapse.”
They completed the torpedo conversion and Mack opened his communicator.
“Torp’s ready, Captain.”
“Return to your stations.”
.
@psCargile Yes. And, yes. It also took my POV character away from the bridge, so I chopped that bit.
Chapter 11
“IT’S GOT US AGAIN,” said Toure as Ch’vo and Mack returned to the bridge. Ch’vo took over from Kimi, who slid back to her bio-sensors. The Andorian nodded confirmation.
“We are back in its gravitational grip. Perturbing… With the ability to turn that tightly, you would think it could have finished us by now.”
“It’s toying with us,” breathed Mack. “Playing before the kill.”
Gaaval’s rough voice spoke through the communicator to the bridge.
“Yeh, think we’re fixed and good for warp when we need it.”
“Thank you, Mr. Gaaval,” said Toure. She glanced at Mack.
“Loaded and ready to go,” he answered.
“Mr. Parmar, dip us into the outer corona, let it follow us in, then bank out. Mr. McNichol, that’s when we make the shot – while it’s closer to Ismares than we are. Hopefully we’ll have a large enough window between graviton-beam release and helium flash to hit warp.”
“We’re gonna need it,” breathed Sanjay. “If we’re still in-system when it blows…”
He did not need to finish that sentence. Toure turned to the Andorian.
“Dr. Ch’vo, status on the entity?”
“It is closing again, more slowly this time. I suspect Mr. McNichol is correct – it is waiting to see what we are going to try next.”
Mack balled a fist, “I’ll damn well show it, alright.”
Kimi watched from her station. She cleared her throat. “Captain, if it loses us… somehow… while near to the star, that will make this act unnecessary, right?”
“Noted, Ms. Shimizu. Let’s hope it comes to that.”
“Five minutes to t-launch,” Erika had set her navigation data now. Mack swabbed his brow. It was getting hotter already.
“Gaaval here. Isolated the deuterium breach. Pressure’s back up.”
“Thank you, Mr. Gaaval. Suggest brace position. It’s going to get rough.”
“Yeh, nothing’s too rough for a Tellarite!” he chuckled.
“Three minutes…”
“Mr. Parmar, ready for maneuver?”
“Ready, Captain.”
“Mr. Gaaval, status?”
“Ready, Captain.”
“Mr. McNichol?”
“Just give the word.”
“One minute!” said Erika. Heat alarms were flashing up on status screens right across the bridge. Erika counted down the last seconds.
Toure said, “Dr. Ch’vo, any sign of graviton-beam failure?”
The Andorian scientist raised his head from his sensor screen and shook it. Captain Toure stood and smoothed her immaculate desert-beige tunic. Mack noted she was the only one not sweating profusely. She raised a hand, paused.
Then she said, “Maneuver, fire.”
Sanjay executed a banking turn away from Ismares.
“She’s away…” said Mack.
“Dr. Ch’vo, suggest you record everything that happens.”
“I am doing so, Captain,” said the scientist.
They watched the viewscreen – safely shaded against the glare – as the torpedo burrowed into the star’s surface. In moments a dark stain spread, like a blob of ink dropped into a saucer of milk. The dark spot collapsed inwards, creating a continent-sized whirlpool. Ch’vo monitored the colossus.
“The entity has paused.”
“That got your attention alright, you bastard!” Mack yelled at the screen.
“Dr. Ch’vo, I need instant report on when it lets us go,” said Toure.
The dark whirlpool inched outwards, engulfing the entire surface of the star. Everyone watched, hypnotized as the celestial phenomenon danced its slow waltz before them. Then, with a final brief flurry, the star imploded into darkness.
“We are free!” yelled Ch’vo. Sanjay activated warp engines without needing the order. The overloaded viewcreen blanked out against a flash of interstellar proportions. The Ulysses raced before a vast bow wave of energy.
“Warp point-five, point-seven, warp factor one!” Sanjay cheered.
“Dr. Ch’vo, Ms. Shimizu, you are our eyes now,” said Toure.
“Increase to two,” said the Andorian. “The energy wave is catching us up!”
Sanjay complied. The engines groaned but loyally obeyed.
“Dr. Ch’vo, can you see that?” whispered Kimi, peering into her sensor screen.
Ch’vo nodded. “The avatar shell is gone, but it is still in there – diffuse energy again, billowing out with the expanding energy wave. It is shooting!”
The crew braced. Ch’vo monitored. “Not even close! It worked. It is thrashing around blind. It worked!”
Mack exchanged a grin with Toure. Other crew members let out breaths.
“Captain, we need to correct to port in less than twenty minutes. We’re heading right for the Cygnus event horizon!” said Erika.
“Noted, Ms. Berg,” Toure retook her seat. “Execute when ready, Mr. Parmar.”
“Captain, something is happening!” said Ch’vo, transfixed by his sensor screen. “It… It is… oh no… Everyone brace!”
Mack grabbed a stability grip just in time as an immense force shook the Ulysses like a child’s rattle. G-forces slammed him to the floor as the ship twirled on its horizontal axis. He dragged himself back to his station.
“Report,” Toure said through clenched teeth.
“I… I think it just let out a massive graviton wave, untargeted but scything an arc through space, sweeping us onward at supra-warp speed away from the supernova…” said Ch’vo.
“It just blindly swatted us away like an insect…” breathed Kimi.
“Ms. Berg, where are we?” said Toure. “Why do we still not have visual?”
Erika studied her controls, put a hand to her mouth.
“Oh no… Oh no, no no…” she cried. “We’re inside Cygnus!”
“That’s crazy, Erika!” said Sanjay, wrestling with controls. “That would mean we’re over the event horizon…”
They all gazed at the blank, black viewscreen.
Toure said, “We do have visual…”
Silence fell as realisation dawned across the bridge. The ship stopped spinning and slowly, gracefully nosedived.
“Mr. Parmar, full reverse. Everyone, emergency positions.” Toure switched the comm again. “Mr. Gaaval – stay strapped in. This just got worse.”
“Captain, by all the books, we cannot survive this…” said Erika.
“I’ve lost all control, engines burning,” said Sanjay. “Shutting down.”
“Now we pray to the gods for mercy,” said Ch’vo, strapping in.
“We’re dead… It’s killed us… We’re dead… We’re dead…” said Mack.
Time and space warped. The Ulysses’s dive accelerated, but enveloped in the black silence things were strangely tranquil. Metaphysical pressures beyond understanding gripped the small starship and sped her on to her fate. The bridge was silent. Mack could not see or hear the other crew members. His entire reality consisted of himself. Memories flashed before his eyes. He breathed in and out.
In and out.
Mack did not pass out. At least he did not think so. But at some point time seemed to stop for him, and he had no idea what happened next.
.
Chapter 11
“IT’S GOT US AGAIN,” said Toure as Ch’vo and Mack returned to the bridge. Ch’vo took over from Kimi, who slid back to her bio-sensors. The Andorian nodded confirmation.
“We are back in its gravitational grip. Perturbing… With the ability to turn that tightly, you would think it could have finished us by now.”
“It’s toying with us,” breathed Mack. “Playing before the kill.”
Gaaval’s rough voice spoke through the communicator to the bridge.
“Yeh, think we’re fixed and good for warp when we need it.”
“Thank you, Mr. Gaaval,” said Toure. She glanced at Mack.
“Loaded and ready to go,” he answered.
“Mr. Parmar, dip us into the outer corona, let it follow us in, then bank out. Mr. McNichol, that’s when we make the shot – while it’s closer to Ismares than we are. Hopefully we’ll have a large enough window between graviton-beam release and helium flash to hit warp.”
“We’re gonna need it,” breathed Sanjay. “If we’re still in-system when it blows…”
He did not need to finish that sentence. Toure turned to the Andorian.
“Dr. Ch’vo, status on the entity?”
“It is closing again, more slowly this time. I suspect Mr. McNichol is correct – it is waiting to see what we are going to try next.”
Mack balled a fist, “I’ll damn well show it, alright.”
Kimi watched from her station. She cleared her throat. “Captain, if it loses us… somehow… while near to the star, that will make this act unnecessary, right?”
“Noted, Ms. Shimizu. Let’s hope it comes to that.”
“Five minutes to t-launch,” Erika had set her navigation data now. Mack swabbed his brow. It was getting hotter already.
“Gaaval here. Isolated the deuterium breach. Pressure’s back up.”
“Thank you, Mr. Gaaval. Suggest brace position. It’s going to get rough.”
“Yeh, nothing’s too rough for a Tellarite!” he chuckled.
“Three minutes…”
“Mr. Parmar, ready for maneuver?”
“Ready, Captain.”
“Mr. Gaaval, status?”
“Ready, Captain.”
“Mr. McNichol?”
“Just give the word.”
“One minute!” said Erika. Heat alarms were flashing up on status screens right across the bridge. Erika counted down the last seconds.
Toure said, “Dr. Ch’vo, any sign of graviton-beam failure?”
The Andorian scientist raised his head from his sensor screen and shook it. Captain Toure stood and smoothed her immaculate desert-beige tunic. Mack noted she was the only one not sweating profusely. She raised a hand, paused.
Then she said, “Maneuver, fire.”
Sanjay executed a banking turn away from Ismares.
“She’s away…” said Mack.
“Dr. Ch’vo, suggest you record everything that happens.”
“I am doing so, Captain,” said the scientist.
They watched the viewscreen – safely shaded against the glare – as the torpedo burrowed into the star’s surface. In moments a dark stain spread, like a blob of ink dropped into a saucer of milk. The dark spot collapsed inwards, creating a continent-sized whirlpool. Ch’vo monitored the colossus.
“The entity has paused.”
“That got your attention alright, you bastard!” Mack yelled at the screen.
“Dr. Ch’vo, I need instant report on when it lets us go,” said Toure.
The dark whirlpool inched outwards, engulfing the entire surface of the star. Everyone watched, hypnotized as the celestial phenomenon danced its slow waltz before them. Then, with a final brief flurry, the star imploded into darkness.
“We are free!” yelled Ch’vo. Sanjay activated warp engines without needing the order. The overloaded viewcreen blanked out against a flash of interstellar proportions. The Ulysses raced before a vast bow wave of energy.
“Warp point-five, point-seven, warp factor one!” Sanjay cheered.
“Dr. Ch’vo, Ms. Shimizu, you are our eyes now,” said Toure.
“Increase to two,” said the Andorian. “The energy wave is catching us up!”
Sanjay complied. The engines groaned but loyally obeyed.
“Dr. Ch’vo, can you see that?” whispered Kimi, peering into her sensor screen.
Ch’vo nodded. “The avatar shell is gone, but it is still in there – diffuse energy again, billowing out with the expanding energy wave. It is shooting!”
The crew braced. Ch’vo monitored. “Not even close! It worked. It is thrashing around blind. It worked!”
Mack exchanged a grin with Toure. Other crew members let out breaths.
“Captain, we need to correct to port in less than twenty minutes. We’re heading right for the Cygnus event horizon!” said Erika.
“Noted, Ms. Berg,” Toure retook her seat. “Execute when ready, Mr. Parmar.”
“Captain, something is happening!” said Ch’vo, transfixed by his sensor screen. “It… It is… oh no… Everyone brace!”
Mack grabbed a stability grip just in time as an immense force shook the Ulysses like a child’s rattle. G-forces slammed him to the floor as the ship twirled on its horizontal axis. He dragged himself back to his station.
“Report,” Toure said through clenched teeth.
“I… I think it just let out a massive graviton wave, untargeted but scything an arc through space, sweeping us onward at supra-warp speed away from the supernova…” said Ch’vo.
“It just blindly swatted us away like an insect…” breathed Kimi.
“Ms. Berg, where are we?” said Toure. “Why do we still not have visual?”
Erika studied her controls, put a hand to her mouth.
“Oh no… Oh no, no no…” she cried. “We’re inside Cygnus!”
“That’s crazy, Erika!” said Sanjay, wrestling with controls. “That would mean we’re over the event horizon…”
They all gazed at the blank, black viewscreen.
Toure said, “We do have visual…”
Silence fell as realisation dawned across the bridge. The ship stopped spinning and slowly, gracefully nosedived.
“Mr. Parmar, full reverse. Everyone, emergency positions.” Toure switched the comm again. “Mr. Gaaval – stay strapped in. This just got worse.”
“Captain, by all the books, we cannot survive this…” said Erika.
“I’ve lost all control, engines burning,” said Sanjay. “Shutting down.”
“Now we pray to the gods for mercy,” said Ch’vo, strapping in.
“We’re dead… It’s killed us… We’re dead… We’re dead…” said Mack.
Time and space warped. The Ulysses’s dive accelerated, but enveloped in the black silence things were strangely tranquil. Metaphysical pressures beyond understanding gripped the small starship and sped her on to her fate. The bridge was silent. Mack could not see or hear the other crew members. His entire reality consisted of himself. Memories flashed before his eyes. He breathed in and out.
In and out.
Mack did not pass out. At least he did not think so. But at some point time seemed to stop for him, and he had no idea what happened next.
.
@psCargile Awesome. Thanks for checking that bit over for me.
