I had no idea how long my alarm was blipping me awake before I threw a shoe at the console to shut it off. I checked the chronometer, it showed six minutes before I had to report to my shift.
"Damn!" I exclaimed and attempted to get out of my bed but something held me fast. To my utter surprise, it was the very naked Bree sleeping soundly next to me. What bitter irony there is in achieving what you dream of only to not be able to remember it in the morning. I looked around and saw my roommate standing in front of his mirror, tending to his perfect hair.
"Roy." I whispered, not daring to disturb my beautiful bunk mate.
Roy turned around a gave me a sly grin. "It's too bad Bree has to work today. I think you broke her, you sly dog you."
"So we...." I inquired, not wanting to know the answer.
"Ooh yea!" He replied grinning. "Once word gets around, you'll have to beat the girls off with a stick."
"I don't remember." I sighed.
"Well, I'd love to stay and tell you the details but we've just arrived at M113 and they are giving out landing party assignments. I think I got a pretty good chance of making it on the landing party this time, it's just between me and Crewman Darnell. Got to go!"
Once Roy's hair was perfect, he performed a few mock quick draws with his phaser in front of the mirror and dashed out of the room.
Tentatively I nudged Bree awake. At first she seemed confused, if not down right shocked to see me hovering over her but then memory started to come back to her. She looked around the room and obviously noticed she wasn't in her own.
"Did we...?"
I nodded, knowingly. "I believe so."
"Oh God..." She whispered. Not in a 'I'm really happy' tone either. "I'm never drinking Romulan Ale again."
I have to admit, that comment bruised the old ego but now was not the time to wallow in self misery. We we're going to be late for our shift. "It's 5 minutes to 8."
"What?!" She exclaimed and then literally jumped out of bed.
I had intended to be right behind her but the sudden throbbing in my brain incapacitated me....OK maybe it wasn't the hangover. Maybe it could have been seeing Bree's gorgeous and nearly naked body scrambling to put on her uniform that was hastily dumped all over the floor. The ironic pang of not being able to remember the night before welled back in full force.
"Are you coming or are you just going to lie there all day?" She asked.
The need to stay employed and not get thrown in the brig finally overwhelmed my desire to watch this woman dress. Fighting the hangover that threatened to incapacitate me again, I threw on my uniform and we both hurried out, looking a little more harried than we should have.
We dashed for the nearest turbocar and jumped in as soon as the doors opened. To both of our surgeon, fellow crew mates Joshua Hardin and Kim Hughes were already in there. They gave each other what I could only guess as knowing glances from Bree's and my disheveled states.
"Long night?" Joshua asked grinning.
"Shut it Hardin." Replied Bree brusquely.
The ride down to the environmental section, which was at the lowest levels of the ship, was rather uncomfortable as our two crew mates stood behind us whispering and even occasionally giggling. I might have yelled at them if it were not for the fact that any loud noise would have probably caused my head to spontaneously explode.
As soon as the turbolift doors opened, Bree and I burst out of that tiny space as fast as we could, thankful for the reprieve from the knowing glances. Though the reprieve was only temporary. All eight members of our department, minus us in the turbolift were standing at attention. They already looked like they were waiting for an imaginary firing squad to pull the proverbial trigger. When I saw the look on our fearless leader's face, I knew something bad was about to happen.
"Line up you scows!" Ensign Janet Snow barked.
We called Ensign Snow (behind her back, of course) the Ice Queen. For obvious reasons you shall soon see. We formed up, standing at are most stiff attention possible, waiting for the inevitable Axe to fall. Ensign Snow paced back and forth in front of us, staring at us. When she set her gaze upon me and held it there for longer than the others, I knew then that my nagging feeling I had was realized.
"It has come to my attention," She began more calmly than I had ever seen her before. "That someone in this department had a little run in with the CO yesterday."
"That would be Crewman Hinkle Ma'am." Bree said proudly. What she didn't say but I got the distinct impression was 'And he's mine, so hands off!'.
I on the other hand, shirked back like a dog that was about to get whipped for I knew what really happened.
"Is that so Crewman Hinkle?" Ensign Snow asked in a much too polite tone.
I swallowed down the lump that was forming in my throat and tried to fold myself in on myself and disappear Unfortunately it was to no avail and my only other option was to answer.
"Yes Ma'am." I squeaked.
"Well, Mr. Hinkle." She puffed out. "I got a message passed down to me from the CO, via the XO and through the Chief Engineer about your little stunt. Really Mr. Hinkle, all I asked you to do was change a simple light bulb and you end up shutting down power to the entire deck!"
She paused momentarily, just long enough for me to squeeze my eyes shut and wish myself to some far off place free from vengeful Ensigns.
"And if that wasn't bad enough, you decided to pull your little stunt in the presence of the Executive AND Commanding Officers!" She Barked. "Not only did you make yourself look foolish, you made your entire department look foolish as well. Which makes me look foolish."
It was right about this time where I started noticing out of the corner of my eye, Bree giving me dirty looks. Now that the truth was revealed, she wasn't 'star struck' by me any longer. In fact, her eyes were boring into me pure hatred, like a pair of Phaser beams. No, scratch that. I think I would have preferred the Phaser beams.
"Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself Mr. Hinkle?" Demanded the Ensign.
"It was just a ground surge Ma'am. It blew the breaker, thats all. I had it fixed immediately."
The 'Ice Queen' put her face right up in front of mine, like a drill instructor to a fresh recruit.
"That's not the point. The POINT is, you made this department and, by extension, me, look like idiots! Tell me Mr. Hinkle, how am I supposed to command a ship on my own one day if I can't even command one stinking department?"
I have to say, the idea of the 'Ice Queen' commanding her own starship sent shivers down my spine. Thankfully, the thought distracted me from what was at hand, but only for a moment.
"I don't know Ma'am." I replied sheepishly.
"You don't know.. But I do. Which is why I am the officer and you are crew." She paused.
"Effective immediately, you are on report Mr. Hinkle. Is that clear?"
"What?" I cried, pulling out of my self imposed safety zone. "Why? The Captain didn't seem at all annoyed by what happened. In fact, he even offered to help! Why did he want to place me on report?"
Without turning her eyes off me, she addressed the rest of the crew. "Everyone but Mr. Hinkle here is dismissed. You will find your assignments posted on the duty board. Miss Fontaine, if you would be so kind as to also stay."
"Yes Ma'am." Bree replied, somewhat confused.
The Ensign continued once everyone had left. "He didn't. I did. Unfortunately, you are my subordinate Mr. Hinkle. Not the Captain's."
"But Ma'am, that'll go into my permanent record!" I cried.
The 'Ice Queen' gave me a steely glare. "What you fail to realize Mr. Hinkle and what will hopefully change by putting you on report, is Starfleet and it's Constitution Class vessels are the Federation's ambassadors How impressed would you be if you went on board another nations flagship and saw it's crew bumbling around like they didn't know what they were doing? Not very. If you can't look competent as well as be competent, then you have no place on this ship. Am I understood?"
I nodded enthusiastically "Yes Ma'am, perfectly."
"Miss Fontaine." The Ensign said, without moving her eyes off me.
"Yes Ma'am?" Bree replied.
"For the time being, Mr. Hinkle here needs a chaperon. I want you to keep a close eye on him and make sure he shapes up." The officer replied.
"M...Me Ma'am?" Bree asked hesitantly
Just as I thought life couldn't get any more worse. I get stuck with the one person that probably wants to see me take a one way walk out an airlock more than the Ensign.
"Is there a problem?" The Ensign asked. But it wasn't one of those types of questions where she wanted to hear an honest answer.
"No Ma'am! No problem."
"Very well. You two are dismissed."
Bree and I rushed as fast out of that room as we could in case the 'Ice Queen' changed her mind and decided to cut her losses and simply throw me out that airlock. Bree lead the way and for the moment I was more than happy to follow. At least that way I didn't have to weather her angry stares. She was first to the board and her exasperated sigh didn't help improve matters in my mind. What I soon came to find out was we were assigned the absolute worst job in the ship. Cleaning out blockages in the sludge tanks.
"I'd say that there's no chance of you acting like a screw-up down in the sludge tanks but if I did, you'd probably find some way cause all the toilets in the entire ship to explosively backfire." She remarked.
I cleared my throat and ran a finger around my collar in guilt. Back in basic, as a joke, I did cause all the toilets to backfire in the camp. The prank nearly got me booted out of Starfleet until my instructor saw how I got the system - which designed specifically not do to that - to do that. It's what lead me to my MOS as an environmental technician.
"Bree..." I began but she didn't want to have anything to do with that.
"Let's get something straight here. What happened last night, didn't happen. You and I are not friends, not acquaintances, not anything. I'm supposed to keep an eye on you while we do our job and thats what I intend to do but you will not speak to me unless it is directly related to work." She ordered.
"Now wait just a minute!" I cried. Bree wasn't an officer. Technically she had no superiority over me, even if she was a first class tech and I was only a second class tech. "Let's get something straight here shall we? You used me just as much as I used you!"
Bree let out a forceful puff of air while rolling her eyes. It was the classic "I'm giving you the 'your wrong' look, even though your right". I stood in front of her more angry than ashamed now.
"It was you who put the moves on me and I seem to recall that you were the one who offered to come to my cabin. So, lets not hold to any illusions here. I've been working in this department for two weeks and you didn't even know I was alive until last night. You thought I was the Captain's new pet and you wanted to ride on my coattails."
There was a momentary pause from Bree. My argument was solid. There was no way she was skirting around that accusation. I had won, or so I thought.
"That may be true but you knew my intentions. I didn't know yours. So you lied to me and that's what I am upset about." She replied.
How is it that women can take a solid argument against them and somehow turn it around in
their favor? It's just downright obnoxious.
Chapter 3
Stardate:
Location: Sludge Tanks, USS Enterprise
Sure, cleaning sludge tanks does involve wading around in waist deep raw sewage but it's really not that bad. I mean, you get to wear completely enclosed environmental suits so its not like you're getting the stuff all over you, and the suits maintain their own internal air supply so its not like you are forced to smell it. Grant it, there is that perception of walking around in someone else's doo doo but it could be much worse than it is.
"Hurry up, lets find this blockage and get the hell out of here." Called Bree over the suit comm.
"Well it wouldn't take so long if our wonderful leader decided to give us a tricorder, instead of this stick to find the block." I remarked. "Not to mention, it would go twice as fast if you decided to help."
Bree raised up one suited arm. "Oh no. It's bad enough I get stuck babysitting you. My orders are just to keep you out of trouble. This is your punishment, not mine."
"Fine, whatever." I replied. "Just stop complaining because its taking so long."
Another twenty minutes passed by of me poking my stick into the various in and out channels of the tank I found the problem. The tank wasn't meant to be a permanent holding place for waste, just a temporary storage until the vessels de-replicators could break down the waste into its component molecules and add them back into the ship's stores.
I reached down, nearly submerging my face plate entirely in raw sewage before grasping my quarry. With a few stout tugs I pulled free a wad of...something. It took me a few long moments before the slime covered object and my dim memory of events the night before took shape.
What was in my hand was a was of unused prophylactics that flashes of Bree and I in the heat of the moment were flushing down the toilet and saying something to the effect of "We're in love, we don't need these stupid things!".
Oh crap.
"So? Did you find what was blocking the ports?" Bree asked.
I pressed the profalactic wad against my chest and kept my back to my shipmate. I didn't dare show this to her. The day had already turned out bad enough. There was no need to exacerbate it by revealing the fact Bree and I had unprotected sex which caused us to be wading around here in meter deep sewage.
"Um...yea." I replied hesitantly
"Well? What is it?" She asked.
"Bree," I began, stalling for time. "We're in a sewage tank, picking out trash. Do you really
want to know what it is?"
There was a slight pause. "Good point. Come on, lets get out of here and into decon. I don't want to spend another second in here."
"Right." I agreed and followed her out.
******
