Spoilers Star Trek: Picard 1x05 - "Stardust City Rag"

"Parody: Modern Trekkies If The Wrath of Khan Was New"
- by Lord Garth

I don't get why Kirk isn't in command of the Enterprise anymore after he just got it back! That doesn't make any sense! Minus one point.

What's with the new uniforms? They don't even look like Star Trek uniforms! Minus another point. That's two points down so far!

Kirk collects antiques?! Antiques?! Star Trek is a show about the future!!!!! Three points down.

And what was this about the 23rd Century? Who cares what Century it takes place in?! I can't believe this! Just give me a good story! That's just fan-service putting up "In the 23rd Century". Only the fans will get that! Four points down!

Klingons! Again! In the simulation! Can't they come up with anything else? These hacks! Why did they reuse the footage from the last movie? They're not even trying! Five points down.

Don't even get me started on Khan! He looks like a rock star now. Why is Star Trek trying so hard to be trendy? And what happened to his followers? They don't look anything like from before! These filmmakers don't care about Star Trek at all! Have they even watched it?! Checkov wasn't even there yet in the episode with Khan! If they'd watched it, they would've known! Six points down!

Violence for violence's sake! The Ceti Eel, explosions everywhere! And all that gore! Again! Star Trek is trying too hard to be trendy! I'm telling you. Ever since Carrie it's just been getting bloodier and bloodier. How much more gory can these movies possibly get? Seven points down!

I don't know about this Saavik. Women on the command track? Star Trek's been taken over by feminists! What's next? Are they going to have a woman captain? Give me a break! Eight points down.

That ungrateful David! Doesn't he know his father is the legendary James T. Kirk?! In my day, I called my father Sir! Yes, that's right, I called him Sir! And what the Hell is this? This kid growing up without a father? It's like Kramer vs. Kramer all over again! You know what? Don't even get me started on that movie again! Nine points down.

HOW THE HELL CAN THEY KILL SPOCK?! That doesn't make any sense! Shouldn't Scotty be the one taking care of Engineering?! So stupid. These people don't even know how to write. That moment at the end between Kirk and Spock, I don't even think that moment was even earned! It's too emotional! Spock is supposed to be logical! These people don't know the TV series! Spock expressing emotion would completely embarrass him! Why should Kirk be so broken up? People die all the time. And the pipes at the end. Flies in the face of Gene Roddenberry! He doesn't believe in God! It shouldn't be a religious funeral! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!! THIS IS A DISGRACE!!!!!! FUCK THE WRATH OF KHAN!!!!

10 points down!!!!!!!!!!

On a scale of 1 to 10, I give Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan a 0. A ZERO!!!! Harve Bennett and Nick Meyer are trying to destroy Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek!!!! But it'll never work. It'll never last. And I don't want to hear about how "It's 1982!" No. This isn't real Star Trek! You want to watch real Star Trek?! Turn on the TV. Don't go to the movies!!!! Boycott this film at every turn. It's the Trekkie thing to do.

 

That might be the point.

 

Why do some folks feel it is up to Entertainment Corporations to decide what shows children should or shouldn't watch?
Isn't that up to the Parents to do?

PICARD has a TV-M (Mature) Rating.
Why would anybody show it to a child that they know may be more sensitive than others?


I was seven when I saw the original GODZILLA movie on TV.
It gave me nightmares for a couple of days.
Needless to say my Mom didn't let me watch anymore monster movies till I was 12.

(though I did get over the nightmares rather quickly and watched scary stuff with my older brother all the time when mom wasn't looking)

 

So did I, and I edited the novelization of that movie!

 

Nice reference to Ace Combat 3: ElectroSphere =D

 

Advertising is always weird.

THIS!

 

Don't you mean "HAIL HYDRA!"?

 

good point.

 

As a side note...

did anyone else notice the E-D bridge noises when Rios and Picard were talking about the cube?

the distinct, repetitive booping

 

Right on goddamn point, man. 10/10 would read again.

 

They really emphasized that her son thinks she is nuts believing in this big conspiracy. So my guess is more that she helps Picard with this all because she hopes to prove to everyone and especially to her son that she is right. That there is a big conspiracy. I guess she and the others will succeed and her son will be willing after it to at least talk with her again and to let her see her grandchild, because he will know then that she is not crazy and she will be the hero who exposed this conspiracy, too.

 

As the kids say these days, some of you didn't watch BEWITCHED growing up and it shows.

Heck, THE MUNSTERS had at least three different Marilyns. BATMAN had three different Catwomen (two of whom appeared on STAR TREK, just to stay OT), two Riddlers, and a bunch of Mr. Freezes. And as for James Bond . . . how many different actors have played Blofeld or Felix Leiter at this point?

Recasting is a thing. It always has been.

 

I’ll say this too. I am becoming more and more concerned about what the big reveal is going to be.

 

This show has never felt like trek imo. For the last decade they want trek to be star wars so bad I just don't get it. Also the humans act like humans of today and not the humans in the late 24th century imo.

 

I really enjoyed Jeri Ryan in this. And I'm glad we got to see somebody come in and do Icheb some justice. Manu has been begging to come back on Twitter but it's obvious his recent comments nixed that.

WTF is going on with Maddox and Jurati. I wasn't expecting that at all.

 

????
So exactly how should humans of the 24th Century act?

Are we so different from how folks acted 100 or 200 years ago?
Other than our Technology being advanced, I'm not seeing how much we've changed in the last 300 years.

Also, who do you know that's been to the 24th Century and told you how things are then?
Cause I'd like to go there myself.

 

Good point. It should be possible to just beam out all the mechanical parts. I guess those people on Vergessen didn't do it because they enjoyed the torture.

 

It's supposed to be a flashback.

Maybe they wanted someone more "boyish" looking as well?

Tech = Expense.

These people are cheap. They want what they want and they want it for a song.

 

LOOSE CANON LIKE THIS KURTZMAN TREK GARBAGE???

Kidding just wanted to see what it was like to be a hater dingus. Was kinda like when I tried oysters for the first time slimy, disgusting and hard to swallow

 

Or maybe it's because they don't consider the assimilated to be worthy of their concern.
When you dehumanize someone, it's easy to mistreat them.