Originally posted on fanfiction.net - Link.
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Strange New Words
“Functional? No, too ordinary,” Boimler scratched his head while pondering to himself. “Efficient? No, too obvious. Perfection? Na, too Borg. Effervescent? Hmmm, maybe…”
“Agggh, would you give it a rest already?” Mariner sighed in annoyance while lying in her bunk. “If you have an urge to spout random words, go do it in your little hidey closet.”
“I’m not spouting random words,” Boimler defended holding up a padd. “I’m writing out my completed duty assignment reports by punching them up in order to better catch the attention of the Cerritos’ senior officers.”
“Oh, good Garrett!” Mariner rolled her eyes. “Just when I thought your compulsory neuroticism couldn’t get any more pathetic.”
“Ooo, punching up a report sounds like a great idea,” Tendi chirped sitting in her bunk while playing kadis-kot with Rutherford. “Figuratively of course. Although I have seen Dr. T’Ana literally punch a few reports after receiving them. Along with literally punching out Nurse Westlake.”
“Really?” Rutherford asked. “I’ve seen Lieutenant Shaxs do the same thing. Boy, those two certainly have a lot in common.”
“‘Common’ is exactly what I’m not looking for,” Boimler said biting his lip while hunched over his padd. “I want my duty reports to stand out and catch the reader’s proverbial eye by making a lasting impression that will be remembered for years to come!”
“Sheesh, Boims. Stop slaving and obsessing over a mediocre piece of writing that will be briefly once-overed at best and immediately ignored and forgotten about in all probability,” Mariner said. “Who do think you are, some kind of obscure, two-credit hack fiction writer?”
“No, I’m a Starfleet officer,” Boimler stated with pride. “Which means I need to write and submit reports which are concise, succinct, meticulous and accurate while also being impactful, dynamic and reasonably entertaining.”
“Also known as one of the biggest wastes of time ever,” Mariner drawled. “Right along with a boring ol’ mission briefing conducted by Lieutenant Commander Stevens.”
“Still better than reading any of your duty reports,” Boimler pointed out. “On the rare occasions when you actually bother to submit them.”
“Hey, I like keeping things simple. Just check a box and boom! It’s done!” Mariner said making a motion. “No need to write up a twenty-four-page report about every little thing.”
“No, but scribbling out a note that reads ‘Put out sudden plasma fire. Nothing melted but the bulkheads,’ can be a little too simple,” Boimler gave her a look. “Along with pinning said note directly to Commander Ransom’s head!”
“At least he’s sure to notice it that way,” Mariner smirked. “Unlike your ludicrously novel-length duty reports which no one will ever read!”
“Yes they will!” Boimler insisted. “And they’ll be very impressed with them too! Especially once I polish them up by adding some engaging and captivating new words! Which is a lot more difficult in practice than in theory.”
“Really?” Tendi asked curiously. “Anything we can do to help?”
“Maybe,” Boimler said studying his padd. “I’m going over the decontamination cycle I conducted on the ship’s thermal regulators earlier. I’m looking for a way to accurately describe the flow of freshly deionized coolant that really captures its essence.”
“Oh yeah. I love it when it does that,” Rutherford’s eye glistened at the thought. “It’s like a dream come true.”
“Oh boy,” Mariner whistled. “I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, Ruthy. We have got to get you a date.”
“Oh, I know a good word you can use,” Tendi chirped. “Neihali. It fits perfectly!”
“Neihali. That’s fantastic. That’s brilliant!” Boimler smiled. “Uh, what’s neihali?”
“It’s an Orion term,” Tendi explained. “It’s the feeling and process of successfully pulling off a seemingly difficult heist so smoothly and skillfully as to make it appear easy. Er, not that I’ve ever personally experienced it of course.”
“I see,” Boimler blinked.
“It can also describe the resulting blood splatter of an ideally executed assassination,” Tendi added. “In a professional, artistic or aesthetic way.”
“Yeah, that’s so much better,” Mariner teased.
“On second thought, maybe neihali isn’t the best word choice,” Boimler groaned.
“No, ya think?” Mariner quipped.
“Wow,” Rutherford blinked. “That sounds like a pretty complex definition for a single simple word.”
“It’s just a rough translation,” Tendi noted. “An equivalent word or expression in Federation Standard doesn’t exist.”
“I’m not surprised,” Boimler commented.
“Who cares? It’s still a neat word,” Rutherford smiled appreciatively. “I’ll add it to my list of Interesting Xenolinguistic Terminology.”
“You have a list?” Mariner raised an eyebrow.
“Doesn’t everyone?” Rutherford asked retrieving a padd from his personal storage locker.
“I do!” Tendi chirped pulling out her own padd.
“I shoulda known,” Mariner shook her head.
“Really?” Boimler commented at Tendi and Rutherford. “I don’t.”
“Finally!” Mariner mocked clapped. “Thank you Boims for actually acting normal.”
“That’s because I don’t need a list,” Boimler said. “Whenever I encounter an unfamiliar word, I quickly find out its definition and repeat it to myself a few hundred times every day for a month to ensure it’s memorized.”
“And the road of compulsive nerdery just continues,” Mariner rolled her eyes.
“Here’s a somewhat similar word to neihali,” Rutherford said reading from his padd. “Bu’dok. It’s a feeling of intellectual, physical and/or emotional gain, benefit, fulfillment, and satisfaction after participating in an action, event or ordeal, particularly conversation.”
“Lemme guess, that word’s Cardassian?” Mariner asked.
“Wow, how did you know?” Rutherford blinked in surprise.
“How could I not?” Mariner snorted. “The overly complex and long-winded definition itself is a dead giveaway!”
“Yeah, some word origins are pretty obvious,” Tendi noted tapping her padd. “Like the Tellarite word vetaavra which expresses the pleasure, invigoration and exhilarating stimulation of arguing for the sake of arguing.”
“Or the Ferengi word oo-rex,” Rutherford added. “Which conveys the very uncomfortable and dirty feeling like something stuck deep within one’s ear.”
“Sounds kind of like the Andorian word yoo’tezth,” Boimler recited from memory. “An expression indicating individuals who are so close as to have their antennas’ frozen together.”
“Figuratively or literally?” Tendi asked.
“Both,” Boimler said. “Yoo’tezth can be used either directly or metaphorically.”
“Bet Andorians use that word a lot,” Mariner smirked. “Especially considering they prefer to do certain things in fours…”
“Ooo, here’s an interesting Tholian word indicating a level of annoyance,” Tendi smiled. “Klyztyzslkkrxwxxkylnkt.”
“Ouch,” Rutherford winced covering his ear. “That’s almost as annoying as having to hear the word.”
“Sorry. I guess my accent was pretty off,” Tendi apologized. “Spoken Tholian lacks sufficient tonal equivalences for non-crystalline-based species.”
“Along with apparently the ability to use vowels,” Boimler noted.
“Did you know Tholians have over three hundred words indicating or related to annoyance?” Tendi asked.
“Really? That’s surprising,” Mariner snorted. “I expected the Tholians to have several thousand such words.”
“Some words represent feelings or concepts that simply can’t fully be conveyed,” Rutherford commented. “Like the Koinonian word onaplel which indicates a kind of world-weariness, but in an existential despair sort of way due to the never-ending burden of existence.”
“Gee, sounds like an almost perfect synonym for ‘Boimler’,” Mariner quipped.
“Ha, ha. Very funny,” Boimler gave Mariner a dirty look. “That’s rich coming from someone who is most likely to experience wejelpixx. Which is a Betazoid word meaning to die by doing something absurd!”
“Na, I’m more of a resro kind of gal,” Mariner smirked. “The Romulan art of distracting someone in order to fool them into diverting their attention towards the wrong thing. You ain’t the only one who knows a bunch of exotic, obscure words, Boims!”
“I’d almost prefer you be more klawohydi,” Boimler groaned. “A Fesariusian way to describe someone who acts like they know what they’re doing by making up nonsense words!”
“Sorry, Boims. You must have me confused with the term ‘Starfleet engineer’,” Mariner quipped. “See also ‘Starfleet scientist’.”
“Hey, Starfleet engineers don’t act like that,” Rutherford protested. “We engineers simply embody the full concept of rebrap-sreh: a Grazarite word indicating the urge to embrace something because it is incredible.”
“Wow! That’s an amazing word!” Tendi gushed excitedly. “I’m definitely adding that one to my list!”
“Ladies, gentlemen and non-binaries, I give you Exhibits A and B,” Mariner smirked indicating her friends. “Along with a bonus Exhibit C: a perfect example of the Nausicaan term ochobal: an appearance that deserves to be struck, slapped, beaten and hit.”
“Hey!” Boimler yelped indignantly. “I’ll have you know my face is very likeable and photogenic!”
“I was referring to that,” Mariner said pointing down the corridor.
“I’m telling you, the entire so-called ‘Whale Probe’ incident was a hoax!” Lieutenant Levy insisted passing by with Lieutenant Commander Stevens. “The whole thing was staged by Starfleet’s Admiralty to cover-up Kirk and company’s alleged theft of the Enterprise. Which wasn’t really stolen or blown up, but just staged to look like it in order to divert attention from the Excelsior’s failed transwarp test. Which was actually successful and that Starfleet also covered up in order to make people dependent on warp drive and keep the dilithium miner consortiums happy!”
“Uh-huh,” Stevens drawled absently. “Sure it was.”
“O-kay. That example actually fits,” Boimler admitted at Levy and Stevens departing forms. “Both of them.”
“Sometimes it’s easy to find a good living example for a word,” Tendi giggled.
“And sometimes it can be really difficult,” Rutherford chuckled scrolling through his padd. “Like the Bynar expression 01100110 01100001 01101001 01101100 00100000 01100110 01101001 01111000 which describes something broken specifically due to someone attempting to fix it. And the related term 01100110 01100001 01101001 01101100 00100000 01110101 01110011 01100101 01110010 which refers to the person who attempted the unsuccessful repair.” Rutherford smiled and noticed his three friends staring at him. “What?”
“Oh, nothing,” Tendi diplomatically attempted move on. “Uh, say, listen to this word. Rameek-toh. An Aurelian word describing an annoying, harpy-like person who is always criticizing, scolding or nagging their offspring.”
“Oh, I know someone who’s a perfect example of that,” Mariner muttered under her breath. “Not that I can name her…”
“Molassberdrog,” Rutherford recited from his list. “A Pakled way of pretending to be doing something important when one is actually slacking or goofing off.”
“Ladies, gentlemen and non-binaries, I give you Exhibit D,” Boimler grinned echoing Mariner’s earlier comment while grandly indicating her.
“Thank you, thank you!” Mariner mockingly took a bow. “That means so much coming from a kūsahōge. A Mikulakian way to refer to a silly but not necessarily useless person or piece of tech.”
“Ooo, another good word!” Rutherford smiled. “I’ll add that to the easy-reference integrator and linguistic modulator I’m building for the universal translator!”
“Najaho’ma,” Boimler glared at Mariner. “The Risian term for someone who wakes up still drunk from the previous day or night.”
“Taryo gok!” Mariner countered. “A Yridian expression when one is embarrassed on another person’s behalf. Something I experience way too much around you!”
“Delpa at Nellad!” Boimler shot back. “Tamarian for when someone gives an unrelated, nonsensical response to a direct statement or question!”
“Vaudmesa!” Mariner snapped. “Idanian for the habit of constantly making documented recordings in the futile hope of giving importance to one’s life!”
“Oh yeah? Well you’re…you’re…” Boimler sputtered.
“Gee, what’s the matter, Boims? Experiencing a moment of divalle?” Mariner teased. “Ullian for the flash of panic when one forgets or misstates their own name or the names of others?”
“No,” Boimler blushed.
“Maybe you fear of being ḍz̤āṭ'ii,” Mariner pressed. “Camorite for when one acts or is considered to be beyond the point of usefulness.”
“No!” Boimler shouted.
“Don’t worry. You’re sure to p’rek javor eventually,” Mariner smirked. “Bajoran for coming up with the perfect response way too late.”
“Aggghhh!” Boimler groaned banging his head with his padd. “Why must you always b’grot so much towards me? Which is Ornaran for an unnecessary behavior, construction or action conducted solely for the purpose of annoying someone else!”
“Hey, don’t flatter yourself. I don’t act that way just around you,” Mariner said. “I act that way in front of everybody. It’s all part of being aabaji: Maquis slang for creating and improvising with whatever’s at hand, whether it was meant for it or not.”
“Figures you’d know those kinds of words,” Boimler sighed sinking into his bunk. “Ugh, all this talk is beginning to make me feel a bit çouqûè. Caldonian for experiencing so much wonder that one no longer marvels and appreciates it anymore.”
“Oh no! That sounds terrible!” Tendi gasped. “I hope that never happens to me.”
“Don’t worry. You’re too zomtah for that,” Rutherford assured her. “Bolian for being incredibly optimistic and enthusiastic because one enjoys life so much.”
“Really? Aw, thanks,” Tendi smiled. “You’re right. There’s no reason to act so føkkågæ. Mizarian for worrying about things one can’t do anything about.”
“Exactly,” Mariner nodded. “No need to burden yourself with needless worries. Otherwise you might end up like Boims and his compulsive state of moyodon. Which is…”
“…a Benzite expression for the feeling of running out of time in order to achieve certain goals,” Boimler finished. “I’m well-acquainted with that word. Just like you’re acquainted with the Lurian concept of loorb: the inability to keep one’s thoughts, emotions and opinions to oneself.”
“So I tend to call ‘em as I see ‘em. Big stinking deal,” Mariner waved. “How else am I supposed to express my usual disgust, disappointment and all-around fed-up frustration with authority figures?”
“Hey, that’s the exact definition of the Chalnoth term röschnoor,” Rutherford remarked.
“Really? Huh, what a coinkydink,” Mariner smirked. “I outta use that more often as an excuse. ‘Sorry, Cap. I’m feeling a bit röschnoor today’. Sounds great! I like it! Got any more potentially useful words?”
“Well, let’s see,” Rutherford consulted his padd. “There’s no’jan: Takaran for the sheen of newly configured or manufactured technology.”
“I said ‘useful’ words, Ruthy,” Mariner reminded. “Not ‘useless’.”
“How about bex’izha?” Tendi suggested. “A Trill word for a look shared between two people who are annoyed with each other, but are too polite to say so.”
“Eh, I dunno,” Mariner shrugged. “I don’t interact with anybody who’s that polite.”
“And vice versa,” Boimler quipped.
“Jinbokani,” Rutherford proceeded to go down his list. “Zakdorn for when one makes a futile attempt to change another person’s mind, opinion or behavior.”
“Now that one has definite possibilities,” Mariner mused.
“Lepieur,” Tendi offered. “Old Argelian signifying sincere joy and happiness at another person’s failures.”
“Even better!” Mariner grinned.
“Ngữ-đệốphấn,” Rutherford read next. “Pygorian for a fact or truth that is universally known, but never actually acknowledged.”
“Like Boimler’s acne?” Mariner smirked.
“ACNE?!” Boimler yelped checking himself in a reflective panel. “WHERE?!”
“Okasha zaphae,” Tendi recited. “Elaysian meaning an event that appears amazing, incredible or beautiful until one actually experiences it.”
“Also known as most of Boimler’s life and career,” Mariner quipped.
“Yeah, yeah. Keep piling it on,” Boimler sighed tearing his gaze from his reflection and give Mariner a sharp look. “If you really have a need for labels, you might as well refer to me as a słańęzpa: Byzallian for the unfortunate companion or victim of an unpredictable, unconventional person!”
“Huh, that does seem pretty bad,” Rutherford commented. “Though not nearly as bad as being tkorshed. Arkarian for the act of being caught or cornered by a long-winded bore who tells long, uninteresting stories about how hard and difficult their life is.”
“You have a point,” Boimler allowed. “Sounds almost as embarrassing as getting caught rãomẽfêing. Kzinti for attempting to make up for doing something stupid by doing something even stupider.”
“Which also describes most of your life and career,” Mariner teased.
“Enough with the zingers already!” Boimler snapped. “I’m not your personal r’zurta, you know. Which is a type of Caitian dart board, punching bag and test dummy all rolled into one.”
“Could have fooled me,” Mariner smirked.
“Hey, c’mon. Be nice,” Rutherford soothed. “You two really need to cool things down.”
“Yeah, try being more zowakriss,” Tendi suggested. “That’s Gorn for the way materials of different thermal variances blend and harmoniously interact with each other.”
“Well, maybe…wait a minute,” Boimler blinked in realization. “Aha! That’s it! That’s the perfect way to describe the ship’s thermal regulator coolant flow! Zowakriss!”
“How can you be sure?” Rutherford asked. “You don’t have the same thermal imaging senses as a Gorn.”
“True, but it’s sure to catch the senior officers’ attention,” Boimler smiled working his padd. “Ta-da!”
“Wow, what a display of kee-la-t’praa,” Tendi noted. “Vulcan for an act or situation to be so random, chaotic and illogical as to produce clarity and enlightenment.”
“Also known as blind dumb luck,” Mariner quipped.
“Who cares? I’ll still take it,” Boimler said. “I wonder if there’s a word that describes the experience of encountering endless amounts of madness, chaos, craziness, lunacy and insanity?”
“Of course there is, Boims,” Mariner smiled cheekily. “Well, more like two words and they are ‘Lower Decks’!”
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
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Strange New Words
“Functional? No, too ordinary,” Boimler scratched his head while pondering to himself. “Efficient? No, too obvious. Perfection? Na, too Borg. Effervescent? Hmmm, maybe…”
“Agggh, would you give it a rest already?” Mariner sighed in annoyance while lying in her bunk. “If you have an urge to spout random words, go do it in your little hidey closet.”
“I’m not spouting random words,” Boimler defended holding up a padd. “I’m writing out my completed duty assignment reports by punching them up in order to better catch the attention of the Cerritos’ senior officers.”
“Oh, good Garrett!” Mariner rolled her eyes. “Just when I thought your compulsory neuroticism couldn’t get any more pathetic.”
“Ooo, punching up a report sounds like a great idea,” Tendi chirped sitting in her bunk while playing kadis-kot with Rutherford. “Figuratively of course. Although I have seen Dr. T’Ana literally punch a few reports after receiving them. Along with literally punching out Nurse Westlake.”
“Really?” Rutherford asked. “I’ve seen Lieutenant Shaxs do the same thing. Boy, those two certainly have a lot in common.”
“‘Common’ is exactly what I’m not looking for,” Boimler said biting his lip while hunched over his padd. “I want my duty reports to stand out and catch the reader’s proverbial eye by making a lasting impression that will be remembered for years to come!”
“Sheesh, Boims. Stop slaving and obsessing over a mediocre piece of writing that will be briefly once-overed at best and immediately ignored and forgotten about in all probability,” Mariner said. “Who do think you are, some kind of obscure, two-credit hack fiction writer?”
“No, I’m a Starfleet officer,” Boimler stated with pride. “Which means I need to write and submit reports which are concise, succinct, meticulous and accurate while also being impactful, dynamic and reasonably entertaining.”
“Also known as one of the biggest wastes of time ever,” Mariner drawled. “Right along with a boring ol’ mission briefing conducted by Lieutenant Commander Stevens.”
“Still better than reading any of your duty reports,” Boimler pointed out. “On the rare occasions when you actually bother to submit them.”
“Hey, I like keeping things simple. Just check a box and boom! It’s done!” Mariner said making a motion. “No need to write up a twenty-four-page report about every little thing.”
“No, but scribbling out a note that reads ‘Put out sudden plasma fire. Nothing melted but the bulkheads,’ can be a little too simple,” Boimler gave her a look. “Along with pinning said note directly to Commander Ransom’s head!”
“At least he’s sure to notice it that way,” Mariner smirked. “Unlike your ludicrously novel-length duty reports which no one will ever read!”
“Yes they will!” Boimler insisted. “And they’ll be very impressed with them too! Especially once I polish them up by adding some engaging and captivating new words! Which is a lot more difficult in practice than in theory.”
“Really?” Tendi asked curiously. “Anything we can do to help?”
“Maybe,” Boimler said studying his padd. “I’m going over the decontamination cycle I conducted on the ship’s thermal regulators earlier. I’m looking for a way to accurately describe the flow of freshly deionized coolant that really captures its essence.”
“Oh yeah. I love it when it does that,” Rutherford’s eye glistened at the thought. “It’s like a dream come true.”
“Oh boy,” Mariner whistled. “I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, Ruthy. We have got to get you a date.”
“Oh, I know a good word you can use,” Tendi chirped. “Neihali. It fits perfectly!”
“Neihali. That’s fantastic. That’s brilliant!” Boimler smiled. “Uh, what’s neihali?”
“It’s an Orion term,” Tendi explained. “It’s the feeling and process of successfully pulling off a seemingly difficult heist so smoothly and skillfully as to make it appear easy. Er, not that I’ve ever personally experienced it of course.”
“I see,” Boimler blinked.
“It can also describe the resulting blood splatter of an ideally executed assassination,” Tendi added. “In a professional, artistic or aesthetic way.”
“Yeah, that’s so much better,” Mariner teased.
“On second thought, maybe neihali isn’t the best word choice,” Boimler groaned.
“No, ya think?” Mariner quipped.
“Wow,” Rutherford blinked. “That sounds like a pretty complex definition for a single simple word.”
“It’s just a rough translation,” Tendi noted. “An equivalent word or expression in Federation Standard doesn’t exist.”
“I’m not surprised,” Boimler commented.
“Who cares? It’s still a neat word,” Rutherford smiled appreciatively. “I’ll add it to my list of Interesting Xenolinguistic Terminology.”
“You have a list?” Mariner raised an eyebrow.
“Doesn’t everyone?” Rutherford asked retrieving a padd from his personal storage locker.
“I do!” Tendi chirped pulling out her own padd.
“I shoulda known,” Mariner shook her head.
“Really?” Boimler commented at Tendi and Rutherford. “I don’t.”
“Finally!” Mariner mocked clapped. “Thank you Boims for actually acting normal.”
“That’s because I don’t need a list,” Boimler said. “Whenever I encounter an unfamiliar word, I quickly find out its definition and repeat it to myself a few hundred times every day for a month to ensure it’s memorized.”
“And the road of compulsive nerdery just continues,” Mariner rolled her eyes.
“Here’s a somewhat similar word to neihali,” Rutherford said reading from his padd. “Bu’dok. It’s a feeling of intellectual, physical and/or emotional gain, benefit, fulfillment, and satisfaction after participating in an action, event or ordeal, particularly conversation.”
“Lemme guess, that word’s Cardassian?” Mariner asked.
“Wow, how did you know?” Rutherford blinked in surprise.
“How could I not?” Mariner snorted. “The overly complex and long-winded definition itself is a dead giveaway!”
“Yeah, some word origins are pretty obvious,” Tendi noted tapping her padd. “Like the Tellarite word vetaavra which expresses the pleasure, invigoration and exhilarating stimulation of arguing for the sake of arguing.”
“Or the Ferengi word oo-rex,” Rutherford added. “Which conveys the very uncomfortable and dirty feeling like something stuck deep within one’s ear.”
“Sounds kind of like the Andorian word yoo’tezth,” Boimler recited from memory. “An expression indicating individuals who are so close as to have their antennas’ frozen together.”
“Figuratively or literally?” Tendi asked.
“Both,” Boimler said. “Yoo’tezth can be used either directly or metaphorically.”
“Bet Andorians use that word a lot,” Mariner smirked. “Especially considering they prefer to do certain things in fours…”
“Ooo, here’s an interesting Tholian word indicating a level of annoyance,” Tendi smiled. “Klyztyzslkkrxwxxkylnkt.”
“Ouch,” Rutherford winced covering his ear. “That’s almost as annoying as having to hear the word.”
“Sorry. I guess my accent was pretty off,” Tendi apologized. “Spoken Tholian lacks sufficient tonal equivalences for non-crystalline-based species.”
“Along with apparently the ability to use vowels,” Boimler noted.
“Did you know Tholians have over three hundred words indicating or related to annoyance?” Tendi asked.
“Really? That’s surprising,” Mariner snorted. “I expected the Tholians to have several thousand such words.”
“Some words represent feelings or concepts that simply can’t fully be conveyed,” Rutherford commented. “Like the Koinonian word onaplel which indicates a kind of world-weariness, but in an existential despair sort of way due to the never-ending burden of existence.”
“Gee, sounds like an almost perfect synonym for ‘Boimler’,” Mariner quipped.
“Ha, ha. Very funny,” Boimler gave Mariner a dirty look. “That’s rich coming from someone who is most likely to experience wejelpixx. Which is a Betazoid word meaning to die by doing something absurd!”
“Na, I’m more of a resro kind of gal,” Mariner smirked. “The Romulan art of distracting someone in order to fool them into diverting their attention towards the wrong thing. You ain’t the only one who knows a bunch of exotic, obscure words, Boims!”
“I’d almost prefer you be more klawohydi,” Boimler groaned. “A Fesariusian way to describe someone who acts like they know what they’re doing by making up nonsense words!”
“Sorry, Boims. You must have me confused with the term ‘Starfleet engineer’,” Mariner quipped. “See also ‘Starfleet scientist’.”
“Hey, Starfleet engineers don’t act like that,” Rutherford protested. “We engineers simply embody the full concept of rebrap-sreh: a Grazarite word indicating the urge to embrace something because it is incredible.”
“Wow! That’s an amazing word!” Tendi gushed excitedly. “I’m definitely adding that one to my list!”
“Ladies, gentlemen and non-binaries, I give you Exhibits A and B,” Mariner smirked indicating her friends. “Along with a bonus Exhibit C: a perfect example of the Nausicaan term ochobal: an appearance that deserves to be struck, slapped, beaten and hit.”
“Hey!” Boimler yelped indignantly. “I’ll have you know my face is very likeable and photogenic!”
“I was referring to that,” Mariner said pointing down the corridor.
“I’m telling you, the entire so-called ‘Whale Probe’ incident was a hoax!” Lieutenant Levy insisted passing by with Lieutenant Commander Stevens. “The whole thing was staged by Starfleet’s Admiralty to cover-up Kirk and company’s alleged theft of the Enterprise. Which wasn’t really stolen or blown up, but just staged to look like it in order to divert attention from the Excelsior’s failed transwarp test. Which was actually successful and that Starfleet also covered up in order to make people dependent on warp drive and keep the dilithium miner consortiums happy!”
“Uh-huh,” Stevens drawled absently. “Sure it was.”
“O-kay. That example actually fits,” Boimler admitted at Levy and Stevens departing forms. “Both of them.”
“Sometimes it’s easy to find a good living example for a word,” Tendi giggled.
“And sometimes it can be really difficult,” Rutherford chuckled scrolling through his padd. “Like the Bynar expression 01100110 01100001 01101001 01101100 00100000 01100110 01101001 01111000 which describes something broken specifically due to someone attempting to fix it. And the related term 01100110 01100001 01101001 01101100 00100000 01110101 01110011 01100101 01110010 which refers to the person who attempted the unsuccessful repair.” Rutherford smiled and noticed his three friends staring at him. “What?”
“Oh, nothing,” Tendi diplomatically attempted move on. “Uh, say, listen to this word. Rameek-toh. An Aurelian word describing an annoying, harpy-like person who is always criticizing, scolding or nagging their offspring.”
“Oh, I know someone who’s a perfect example of that,” Mariner muttered under her breath. “Not that I can name her…”
“Molassberdrog,” Rutherford recited from his list. “A Pakled way of pretending to be doing something important when one is actually slacking or goofing off.”
“Ladies, gentlemen and non-binaries, I give you Exhibit D,” Boimler grinned echoing Mariner’s earlier comment while grandly indicating her.
“Thank you, thank you!” Mariner mockingly took a bow. “That means so much coming from a kūsahōge. A Mikulakian way to refer to a silly but not necessarily useless person or piece of tech.”
“Ooo, another good word!” Rutherford smiled. “I’ll add that to the easy-reference integrator and linguistic modulator I’m building for the universal translator!”
“Najaho’ma,” Boimler glared at Mariner. “The Risian term for someone who wakes up still drunk from the previous day or night.”
“Taryo gok!” Mariner countered. “A Yridian expression when one is embarrassed on another person’s behalf. Something I experience way too much around you!”
“Delpa at Nellad!” Boimler shot back. “Tamarian for when someone gives an unrelated, nonsensical response to a direct statement or question!”
“Vaudmesa!” Mariner snapped. “Idanian for the habit of constantly making documented recordings in the futile hope of giving importance to one’s life!”
“Oh yeah? Well you’re…you’re…” Boimler sputtered.
“Gee, what’s the matter, Boims? Experiencing a moment of divalle?” Mariner teased. “Ullian for the flash of panic when one forgets or misstates their own name or the names of others?”
“No,” Boimler blushed.
“Maybe you fear of being ḍz̤āṭ'ii,” Mariner pressed. “Camorite for when one acts or is considered to be beyond the point of usefulness.”
“No!” Boimler shouted.
“Don’t worry. You’re sure to p’rek javor eventually,” Mariner smirked. “Bajoran for coming up with the perfect response way too late.”
“Aggghhh!” Boimler groaned banging his head with his padd. “Why must you always b’grot so much towards me? Which is Ornaran for an unnecessary behavior, construction or action conducted solely for the purpose of annoying someone else!”
“Hey, don’t flatter yourself. I don’t act that way just around you,” Mariner said. “I act that way in front of everybody. It’s all part of being aabaji: Maquis slang for creating and improvising with whatever’s at hand, whether it was meant for it or not.”
“Figures you’d know those kinds of words,” Boimler sighed sinking into his bunk. “Ugh, all this talk is beginning to make me feel a bit çouqûè. Caldonian for experiencing so much wonder that one no longer marvels and appreciates it anymore.”
“Oh no! That sounds terrible!” Tendi gasped. “I hope that never happens to me.”
“Don’t worry. You’re too zomtah for that,” Rutherford assured her. “Bolian for being incredibly optimistic and enthusiastic because one enjoys life so much.”
“Really? Aw, thanks,” Tendi smiled. “You’re right. There’s no reason to act so føkkågæ. Mizarian for worrying about things one can’t do anything about.”
“Exactly,” Mariner nodded. “No need to burden yourself with needless worries. Otherwise you might end up like Boims and his compulsive state of moyodon. Which is…”
“…a Benzite expression for the feeling of running out of time in order to achieve certain goals,” Boimler finished. “I’m well-acquainted with that word. Just like you’re acquainted with the Lurian concept of loorb: the inability to keep one’s thoughts, emotions and opinions to oneself.”
“So I tend to call ‘em as I see ‘em. Big stinking deal,” Mariner waved. “How else am I supposed to express my usual disgust, disappointment and all-around fed-up frustration with authority figures?”
“Hey, that’s the exact definition of the Chalnoth term röschnoor,” Rutherford remarked.
“Really? Huh, what a coinkydink,” Mariner smirked. “I outta use that more often as an excuse. ‘Sorry, Cap. I’m feeling a bit röschnoor today’. Sounds great! I like it! Got any more potentially useful words?”
“Well, let’s see,” Rutherford consulted his padd. “There’s no’jan: Takaran for the sheen of newly configured or manufactured technology.”
“I said ‘useful’ words, Ruthy,” Mariner reminded. “Not ‘useless’.”
“How about bex’izha?” Tendi suggested. “A Trill word for a look shared between two people who are annoyed with each other, but are too polite to say so.”
“Eh, I dunno,” Mariner shrugged. “I don’t interact with anybody who’s that polite.”
“And vice versa,” Boimler quipped.
“Jinbokani,” Rutherford proceeded to go down his list. “Zakdorn for when one makes a futile attempt to change another person’s mind, opinion or behavior.”
“Now that one has definite possibilities,” Mariner mused.
“Lepieur,” Tendi offered. “Old Argelian signifying sincere joy and happiness at another person’s failures.”
“Even better!” Mariner grinned.
“Ngữ-đệốphấn,” Rutherford read next. “Pygorian for a fact or truth that is universally known, but never actually acknowledged.”
“Like Boimler’s acne?” Mariner smirked.
“ACNE?!” Boimler yelped checking himself in a reflective panel. “WHERE?!”
“Okasha zaphae,” Tendi recited. “Elaysian meaning an event that appears amazing, incredible or beautiful until one actually experiences it.”
“Also known as most of Boimler’s life and career,” Mariner quipped.
“Yeah, yeah. Keep piling it on,” Boimler sighed tearing his gaze from his reflection and give Mariner a sharp look. “If you really have a need for labels, you might as well refer to me as a słańęzpa: Byzallian for the unfortunate companion or victim of an unpredictable, unconventional person!”
“Huh, that does seem pretty bad,” Rutherford commented. “Though not nearly as bad as being tkorshed. Arkarian for the act of being caught or cornered by a long-winded bore who tells long, uninteresting stories about how hard and difficult their life is.”
“You have a point,” Boimler allowed. “Sounds almost as embarrassing as getting caught rãomẽfêing. Kzinti for attempting to make up for doing something stupid by doing something even stupider.”
“Which also describes most of your life and career,” Mariner teased.
“Enough with the zingers already!” Boimler snapped. “I’m not your personal r’zurta, you know. Which is a type of Caitian dart board, punching bag and test dummy all rolled into one.”
“Could have fooled me,” Mariner smirked.
“Hey, c’mon. Be nice,” Rutherford soothed. “You two really need to cool things down.”
“Yeah, try being more zowakriss,” Tendi suggested. “That’s Gorn for the way materials of different thermal variances blend and harmoniously interact with each other.”
“Well, maybe…wait a minute,” Boimler blinked in realization. “Aha! That’s it! That’s the perfect way to describe the ship’s thermal regulator coolant flow! Zowakriss!”
“How can you be sure?” Rutherford asked. “You don’t have the same thermal imaging senses as a Gorn.”
“True, but it’s sure to catch the senior officers’ attention,” Boimler smiled working his padd. “Ta-da!”
“Wow, what a display of kee-la-t’praa,” Tendi noted. “Vulcan for an act or situation to be so random, chaotic and illogical as to produce clarity and enlightenment.”
“Also known as blind dumb luck,” Mariner quipped.
“Who cares? I’ll still take it,” Boimler said. “I wonder if there’s a word that describes the experience of encountering endless amounts of madness, chaos, craziness, lunacy and insanity?”
“Of course there is, Boims,” Mariner smiled cheekily. “Well, more like two words and they are ‘Lower Decks’!”
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
