Originally posted on fanfiction.net - Link.
Note: This story takes place during the episode "Much Ado About Boimler".
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Further Adventures of The Dog
The Dog is a sentient, genetically engineered, carbon-based lifeform. She has a soft golden coat, a cold wet nose, bright dark eyes and a big sweet smile. The Dog’s appearance is similar to that of an adult golden retriever from Earth even though The Dog is only a few hours old. Hello, The Dog!
The Dog was grown aboard the good ship Cerritos by her loving creator Tendi. Tendi is an Orion ensign in Starfleet. She is intelligent, cheerful, curious, loyal and friendly just like The Dog. No wonder they are such good friends!
Tendi has been very busy and excited introducing The Dog to the many fun and stimulating things aboard the Cerritos. But Tendi has also been awake for over twenty-four hours and has finally grown quite tired.
“Sorry for cutting our fun short, The Dog. But it’s been a long day and I really need to sleep,” Tendi yawned scratching The Dog behind her ear. “I’m going to crawl into my bunk and get some rest. I’ll play with you more in a few hours. You be a good girl until then, okay? Be a good girl!”
The Dog barks in confirmation as Tendi lies down and quickly falls asleep. The Dog watches Tendi’s still form for a moment before quietly padding off. The Dog is not tired. The Dog is still wide awake and curious and wants to explore more of the ship. Won’t that be fun!
The Dog happily trots down the hallway while looking and sniffing at all the fascinating things she comes across. One interesting smell is coming from a nearby room. The Dog quietly walks over and enters it.
“Ah, another day, another anomaly,” Lieutenant junior-grade Winger Bingston Jr. smiled while working by himself in Lab 4005. He peered at an oblong, gem-like object sitting behind a containment field. “Mmmm, and I thought my last performance had multiple facets…”
Ooo, look at all the shiny stuff in here! They are so sparkly and colorful and have such fascinating scents! Everything except for the blue-uniformed officer standing there. He is lacking several common scents in more ways than one.
“Hmmm, I don’t seem to be getting much from these sensor readings,” Bingston Jr. mused turning to another station. “Perhaps if I submitted the sample to a stress test. Of course, it would be nothing compared to the amount of stress I’m capable of handling.”
The Dog watches as the scents-less officer moves away before approaching the console he had been looking at. The Dog stands up on her hind legs to peer at the screen. Ah-ha! The Dog recognizes these readings! They are almost identical to the N4-methylcytosine transpositions of The Dog’s own nucleotide-based genome. The Dog knows this from listening to Tendi talk about it earlier. Tendi created The Dog very well!
However, the blue-uniformed officer did not seem to have calibrated the biosensors correctly. They have failed to identify the correct nucleobases as having unique aromatic structures. The Dog can fix this. The Dog wants to help!
The Dog warms her nose and uses it to easily manipulate the control panel’s many buttons. It does not take The Dog long to make the necessary corrections. What a smart and helpful dog The Dog is!
“Excuse me, what are you doing in here?” A surprised Bingston Jr. frowned spotting The Dog and shooing her away from the console. “Don’t play with the control panel like that. You’ll get drool all over it…huh?” He blinked noticing the complex series of calibration and genetic modeling equations entered into the computer. “What…how…?”
“Woof!” The Dog smiled cheerfully before scampering out of the lab.
“On second thought, maybe I have been under too much stress lately,” A dazed Bingston Jr. admitted. “I’m beginning to hallucinate. Perhaps I should schedule a counseling session with Doctor Migleemo. Try to find a face of my personality even I haven’t identified yet…”
Ah, that was fun! The Dog is happy she was able to help the scents-less blue-uniformed officer. He is obviously very grateful to The Dog. He and The Dog are now friends!
“Hey, what’s a stray dog doing wandering around the corridors?” Lieutenant Levy frowned spotting The Dog. “Pets aren’t allowed to do that. That dog could be a canine-looking android from an ancient civilization attempting to spy on and take over the ship.”
Ah, here is another blue-uniformed officer who is even more scents-less than the first. Perhaps he would like to be friends with The Dog too!
“That dog could also be an agent of a rogue Starfleet organization in disguise,” Levy went on. “Better call it in.” He tapped his combadge. “Lieutenant Levy to Securi…hey!”
Ha! The Dog cheerfully jumps on the scents-less officer and plucks the shiny object off his uniform with her teeth. The officer had swatted the shiny object before. The shiny object must have bothered him so The Dog has helpfully removed it. She is a good dog!
“Come back here, you stupid mutt!” Levy shouted lunging at The Dog. “Give me back my combadge!”
Ah, it seems the scents-less officer wants to play. He is trying to catch and tag The Dog. Well, The Dog can play this game too!
“Agggh, this is why so-called ‘pets’ shouldn’t be allowed aboard starships,” Levy grumbled chasing after The Dog. “‘Pets’ are all part of an alien conspiracy aiming to take over the…YEEEOOOWWW!”
Ha, ha! Look at the funny faces the scents-less officer makes when The Dog spits lightning bolts at him. He must be having fun!
“GAAAHHHHHH!” Levy screamed running away. “HELP! SOMEBODY GET THIS CRAZY DOG AWAY FROM ME…HOLY *BLEEP*! IT CAN FLY TOO! YAAAHHH!”
He, he! Now it is the scents-less officer’s turn to be tagged. Look how fast he runs!
“WAAAGGGHHHHHH! SAVE ME!” Levy wailed dashing through the corridors with The Dog hot on his heels. “OH MY GOSH, IS THAT THING SPITTING FIRE NOW?! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!”
Oh look! The officer has run into one of the little rooms that travels around the ship. The Dog likes riding in those rooms. Hold on, scents-less officer! Wait for The Dog!
“Accckkk! No! Get out of the turbolift!” Levy shrieked backing away. “Wait, don’t poke at the panel…YAAAHHHHHH!”
Ooo, look at what The Dog has done. She reconfigured the little room to move much faster than normal and to travel all around the ship. Riding in the little room is much more fun now. Wheee!
“AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH! HELP! I’M GONNA DIE!” Levy screeched as the turbolift rocketed around the ship’s lift network like an out-of-control pinball. “THIS CRAZY DOG’S TRYING TO KILL ME! AAAIIIEEEEEE! MOMMY!”
The Dog barks happily as she rides in the little room while standing on the ceiling. The little room continues to zip about for a while before eventually coming to a stop. Aw, the ride is over already? How sad!
“Ohhh,” A pale Levy crawled out of the turbolift looking like death warmed-over. “I can’t believe I survived…I can’t believe I survived…”
Well, this has been fun, but it is time for The Dog to go. The Dog has enjoyed playing and spending time with the funny scents-less officer. He has finally stopped screaming and weeping all the time. He must have had fun too!
“Excuse me, Lieutenant Levy?” Ensign Vendome walked up to Levy sprawled out on the floor. “Uh, are you okay?”
“DO I LOOK OKAY TO YOU?!” A wild-eyed Levy yelled. “SOME CRAZY FLYING DOG STOLE MY COMBADGE, SPIT LIGHTNING AND FIRE AT ME AND TRAPPED ME INSIDE THE TURBOLIFT RIDE FROM HECK FOR THE PAST HOUR!”
“Sir, have you been drinking on duty again?” Vendome asked cautiously.
“I’M NOT DRUNK!” Levy howled. “THAT STUPID DOG DID THIS TO ME! IT MUST BE SOME ESCAPED SCIENCE EXPERIMENT GONE MAD! IT’S A CONSPIRACY, I TELL YOU! IT’S TRYING TO GET ME!”
“Suuure it is,” Vendome said slowly while helping Levy to his feet. “Come on, sir. Let’s get you to Sickbay for a dermal regenerator and some anti-intoxicants.”
“I told you I’m not drunk!” Levy cried. “But I certainly could use a stiff drink or three right now…NO, NOT THE TURBOLIFT AGAIN! HELP! KEEP THAT EVIL THING AWAY FROM ME! WAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!”
The Dog winces as the scents-less officer’s high-pitched screams slowly fade away. They are soon replaced by a steady, soothing hum. The Dog enters a large open room with a bright, pulsing tower in the center. It is the source of the steady hum. This must be the ‘warp core’ Tendi told The Dog about earlier. Tendi seemed to really like the warp core. Its warm glow and reassuring sounds make The Dog really like it too!
“Keep an eye on sealing those matrix compensators, Ensign,” Lieutenant Commander Billups advised as he and Meredith knelt down to repair an exposed warp plasma conduit. “Don’t want any microfractures to form when we bring the warp core to full power.”
“Yes, sir,” Meredith nodded as The Dog trotted over and attempted to nuzzle up under Meredith’s arm. “Oh, hello there. Where did you come from?”
“Huh?” Billups glanced up from his work. “Hey, who let that dog in here? Bring Your Pet to Work Day isn’t until next week…”
“Sir, look out!” Meredith warned.
BOOM!
“Aggghhh!” Billups and Meredith yelped as a distracted Billups accidently brushed his flux decoupler against an exposed power relay causing it to overload.
“Sir!” Several engineers shouted as a cloud of noxious gas began spewing out from the damaged conduit.
“Plasma leak!” Lieutenant Merp warned working a panel. “The air is becoming toxic. Shut off all power to that section!”
“What about Commander Billups and Ensign Meredith?” Lieutenant junior-grade Cody asked worriedly. “We can’t get to them!”
Oh dear. Some of the officers have gotten hurt. They need to be moved away from the bad, smelly gas at once. Never fear, it is The Dog to the rescue!
“Hey, look!” One of the engineers pointed as The Dog easily dragged Billups and Meredith out of the danger zone with her teeth. “They’re alive!”
“Rerouting power now. The leak has been contained,” Merp said kneeling next to Billups. “Sir, are you alright?”
“Oh yeah. I’m good,” Billups coughed woozily while Cody tended to Meredith. “Careless accident on my part. Ohhh, look at the pretty birdies…”
Ah, looks like everyone is okay. The Warp Core Room does not seem to be a good place to play so The Dog will go find a better place. There is a crowd of people blocking the way out so The Dog will leave by turning herself into a blob of living plasma before slipping into an open EPS conduit and taking off. Ooo, riding inside the EPS conduit is so much fun! Wheee!
The Dog rides through the ship’s EPS system for a while before emerging and transforming back into her usual form. The Dog looks around, but does not recognize this part of the ship. Where could The Dog be?
“Hey look. A dog,” Ensign Barnes said wearing a set of workout clothes while standing with Jet in one of the squash courts.
“Really? Cool,” Jet smiled at The Dog. “What’cha doing in here, girl? You wanna play a game?”
Yes! The Dog would love to play a game! The Dog does not know what game the two people are playing, but The Dog would like to play it!
“Hey ya go, girl!” Jet grinned lobbing a squash ball against one of the crosshair-covered walls. “Go get it!”
The Dog happily barks as she races after the ball before snatching it in her mouth. The pair of officers offer praise as they hit more balls around the room for The Dog to catch which The Dog easily does. What a fun game!
“Wow, I didn’t know Earth dogs could do that,” Barnes blinked watching The Dog snag balls out of midair by extending her neck to giraffe-level lengths. “Isn’t that abnormal?”
“Eh, must be one of those mixed, interspecies breeds,” Jet commented casually. “You should see the winged, webbed canines they have on Simargl IX. Man, are they wild!”
The Dog happily plays Catch, Chase and Consume Balls with the two off-duty officers for a while. But the two officers eventually grow tired and have to go, ultimately leaving The Dog all alone. How sad!
The Dog does not want to be alone. The Dog decides to go check on Tendi. Perhaps Tendi is awake and would like to play with The Dog! The Dog makes her way through the ship and back to Tendi’s bunk. But Tendi is still asleep. Too bad. Guess The Dog will continue to explore the ship.
The Dog transforms herself into a metal cube while passing Tendi’s friends Boimler and Mariner on the way out. The Dog would like to play with Mariner and Boimler, but since they did not want to play with The Dog earlier, they probably would not like to play with The Dog now. But that is okay. The Dog will simply find someone else to play with.
The Dog wanders through the ship’s corridors for a while passing many people on the way. Some of the people stop and pat The Dog on her head, but most simply ignore The Dog. This is not fun. Perhaps it is because The Dog is much, much younger than these people. The Dog decides to try and find some young people to play with. The Dog soon catches the scents of several young lifeforms and follows them to another part of the ship.
“Ah, at last. My long search is at an end,” A green, glowing figure hovered inside one of the Cerritos’ primary childcare facilities. The childcare provider Ms. Arnemann lay slumped unconscious across her desk. “Finally, I shall have my revenge!”
“Go away,” A crowd of young children glanced at the figure dismissfully. “You aren’t our parents or our teacher. We won’t listen to you.”
“Ah, but you will listen me,” The glowing, semi-transparent figure smiled confidently. “I, Nivlem, command you to follow me, obey my orders and worship my existence. In return I shall bestow upon you great joy, liberty and power!”
“Seriously?” Several of the kids gave the glowing figure disdainful looks. “Why would we ever want to obey or follow you? You’re weird, you’re annoying, you talk funny…”
“Enough with the backtalk and just obey me already!” The glowing figure Nivlem demanded. “With such young, malleable minds under my command I will seize this ship, eliminate my enemies and rend the cursed Federation asunder once and for all!”
Oh dear. This strange lifeform does not seem to be having much fun. It must be sad. Never fear, strange lifeform. The Dog will cheer you up!
“All mature humanoid units will be eliminated!” Nivlem cackled. “They deserve it for what they did to the great, legendary Gorgon…YEEEOOOWWW!”
Ha! Look at that! The strange lifeform likes to play. See how well it conducts electricity and other forms of non-corporeal energy!
“OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!” Nivlem screamed and flew around the room as The Dog hovered and spit lightning bolts at him. “WHAT IS THIS?! SOMEBODY HELP ME! CHILDREN, I COMMAND YOU TO…AAAHHHHHHHHH!”
“Ooo,” The kids watched as The Dog playfully pummeled Nivlem with crackling bolts of energy. “Pretty…”
My, the strange lifeform is shouting very loud. It must be very happy! The Dog will make it even happier by petting the strange lifeform on the head.
“GAAAHHHHHH! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!” Nivlem shrieked in pain. “I’M A NON-CORPOREAL BEING! HOW CAN THIS STUPID DOG BE HURTING ME LIKE THIS…AAAGGGHHH, I’M ON FIRE! AAAIIIEEEEEEEEE!”
“Ooo,” The kids cooed. “Pretty flames…”
The strange lifeform sure seems to like pets. And having The Dog scratch behind the strange lifeform’s ears with The Dog’s teeth.
“WAAAHHHHHH! HELP! THIS CRAZY DOG’S TRYING TO EAT ME!”
Hmmm, The Dog wonders if the strange lifeform is ticklish. The Dog will find out by tickling the strange lifeform’s bulging belly with her nose.
“OH MOMMA THAT HURTS!”
Oops! The Dog’s aim was a bit low. That wasn’t the strange lifeform’s belly at all. But that is okay. The Dog will simply try again!
“YAAAHHHHHH! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU INSANE SICKO!” A scorched, heavily-beaten Nivlem wailed while futilely attempting to fend off The Dog. “GAAAHHHHHH, THAT’S IT! I’M OUTTA HERE!”
Oh look. The strange lifeform has flown off. It must be playing hide-and-seek. Don’t worry, strange lifeform. The Dog will find you!
“Hey, come back!” The group of kids protested as The Dog made herself intangible before phasing through the ceiling. “We wanna play with and smack the weird, glowing man too!”
“Ohhh, what happened?” Arnemann yawned and slowly sat up at her desk. “Did I fall asleep? My mind’s all foggy…”
“Look, Ms. Arnemann is awake,” The kids noticed crowding around her. “You missed all the fun, ma’am. This weird glowing man showed up and put you to sleep before being chased away by a flying dog that breathed lightning.”
“Huh?” Arnemann blinked doing a take.
“Yeah, and the dog also shot out flames and sparklers and hit the weird glowing man with her nose,” The kids went on. “Right before both of them disappeared into thin air.”
“Okay, that’s enough computer games and holonovels for you,” Arnemann declared herding the kids together. “Time for everyone to take a nap.”
“AAAGGGHHHHHH! STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID MUTT!” Nivlem screamed flying through the ship with The Dog hot on his heels. “STOP SPITTING ENERGY BOLTS AT ME! YUCK, DON’T SPLATTER ME WITH DROOL TOO…OH MY GOSH, IT BURNS! IT BURNS! AAAIIIEEEEEEEEE!”
He, he, he! This is fun! The Dog likes playing tag with the strange lifeform. Listen to the strange lifeform cry in joy. The Dog and the strange lifeform are seeing so many new rooms too as they pass through them. There is a room full of all kinds of blinking mechanical equipment. A room full of lush plants. Even a room full of undressed officers.
“Ahhh! What the heck is that?!”
“Look out!”
“Gaaahhh! The sonic showers are haunted! Security!”
Ooo, here is another new room. It is big and is full of all kinds of small ships. And there is an officer here whose scent is very similar to Tendi’s friend Mariner.
“Computer, transfer all command codes to Captain Amina Ramsey,” A black-clad Captain Freeman said standing next to a waiting shuttlecraft while holding a cylinder containing a rulot seedling. “Voice authorization: Freeman Beta Gamma Six.”
“Transfer complete,” The computer stated. “U.S.S. Cerritos now under command of Captain Amina Ramsey.”
“I relieve you, Captain,” Ramsey smiled standing in front of her newly arrived, hand-picked command staff.
“I stand relieved,” Freeman confirmed.
“AAAGGGHHHHHH! NOT THE LIGHTNING BOLTS AGAIN!” Nivlem shrieked as he and The Dog abruptly zoomed through the shuttlebay. “OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!”
“Oh what fun it is to shock and shock and shock away! Hey!” The Dog sang happily.
“Very, very relieved,” Freeman added.
“Did I just see some sort of non-corporeal entity pass through the ship’s bulkheads while being chased by a flying, singing, lightning-spitting dog that was on fire?” A stunned Ramsey asked.
“Yep,” Freeman nodded quickly entering the shuttlecraft to join a waiting Ransom and Shaxs. “And they’re all yours.”
“O-kay,” Ramsey blinked as the shuttlecraft speedily departed the Cerritos. “Maybe the rumors about the Cerritos being a flying insane asylum weren’t exaggerated…”
“GAAAHHHHHH! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!” Nivlem cried as he began to evanesce. “MY ENERGY RESERVES ARE USED UP! I CAN’T MAINTAIN MY FORM! NO! NOOOOOOO…AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!”
Hmmm, it seems the strange lifeform has disappeared. The Dog can not find the strange lifeform anywhere. It must not want to play anymore. Too bad.
But The Dog has come to a new room. It has a big wide bed, a long soft couch, a table topped with fresh fruit and lots of potted plants. What a nice room!
The Dog happily plays about the room for a while, but eventually grows sad. It is lonely being in this big room all by herself. The Dog decides to leave the room and find other people to play with.
“Ohhh, my head,” A haggard Levy staggered through the doorway, completely oblivious to The Dog departing by flying above him. “I can’t believe everyone in Sickbay thought I was drunk on duty. But I’m certainly going to drink now that I’m off duty…WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO MY QUARTERS?! WHO MESSED UP MY BED?! MY PILLOWS ARE ALL CHEWED UP! THE FRUIT’S BEEN MACERATED AND THE TABLE’S BEEN SHATTERED INTO A ZILLION PIECES! MY PLANTS ARE ALL DEAD! GAAAHHHHHH, THE UNIVERSE IS TRYING TO DRIVE ME MAD! IT’S A CONSPIRACY I TELL YOU! ARRRGGGHHH!”
Aha! That’s it! The Dog will go to Sickbay. The Dog knows Tendi often works in Sickbay and has heard her talk about it a lot. Sickbay must be a very interesting place indeed. The Dog would like to see it!
The Dog wanders through many more corridors before finally locating Sickbay. Ooo, Sickbay smells so clean. And there are so many fascinating things to sniff and see!
“Hey, what’s that dog doing in here?” Nurse Westlake asked while bent over a prone Billups lying on a biobed. “I’m trying to perform reconstructive surgery.”
“Ugh, get that dog away,” Escher frowned while tending to Meredith. “It’s getting fur everywhere. Sickbay is supposed to be a sterile environment.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll handle it,” A Bajoran lieutenant dressed in operations gold said reaching for The Dog. “Come here, girl. Let’s leave the doctors and nurses to their work…BY THE PROPHETS! IT JUST GREW A SECOND HEAD!”
“Huh?” Several medtechs looked over as The Dog grew a third head and ran about looking like a cute, golden version of Cerberus. “Yikes!”
“Aaahhhhhh!” The Bajoran lieutenant yelped backpedaling before flipping over a surgical table. “Oh, my back…”
“What the heck is going on out here?” Doctor T’Ana growled emerging from her office. “Everyone get back to work before I…is that a dog?! Is its tail glowing?!”
“Apparently,” Westlake gulped. “And it seems to be prehensile too.”
“Help! That dog’s shedding all over the lab area!” Tellman shouted.
“It just ate my tricorder,” Escher gulped.
“WHAT THE DEVIL IS THAT THING?!” T’Ana screeched backing away from an affectionate The Dog. “AND WHOSE THE HECK IS IT?!”
“There you are,” Tendi casually entered Sickbay and happily waved at The Dog. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“Woof!” The Dog barked and ran over to Tendi having returned to her usual form half a second before Tendi appeared.
“You must’ve been off exploring the ship during my nap,” Tendi cooed kneeling down and scratching The Dog behind her ears. “Did you have a nice time? Did ya? Did ya?”
“Ensign Tendi!” T’Ana hissed storming over. “Care to explain just what the heck this crazy animal is?”
“Hello, Doctor,” Tendi chirped and proudly indicated The Dog. “This is my latest Medical side project. Presenting my dog: The Dog!”
“That’s not a dog!” T’Ana snapped. “It’s an unholy, insane science experiment!”
“Shhh, don’t say that!” Tendi protested covering The Dog’s ears. “You’ll hurt her feelings.”
“I don’t give a Rasiinian asp about that thing’s feelings,” T’Ana hissed grabbing a padd. “I’m alerting Division 14 to come and pick up that medical monstrosity at once.”
“No! You can’t do that!” Tendi gasped. “There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s just a normal dog!”
“No, it’s not. It’s a menace,” T’Ana growled pointing at The Dog. “Stay and keep that thing under control until the Division 14 ship Osler gets here.”
“But…” Tendi protested.
“That’s an order, Ensign!” T’Ana snapped walking away. “Grrr, as if I didn’t have enough problems to worry about around here.”
“Oh no!” Tendi cried wrapping The Dog into a fierce hug. “Don’t worry, The Dog. I’ll protect you. If you go, I’ll go! They can’t just take you away from me. That’s a direct violation of your basic sentient rights!”
My, Tendi seems to be very upset. Perhaps she did not get enough sleep. But there is no reason for her to worry. And even if she does worry, The Dog will comfort her.
This has been a very interesting day. The most interesting day of The Dog’s day-old existence. The Dog can’t wait to see what other fascinating days and adventures are in store for her!
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
Note: This story takes place during the episode "Much Ado About Boimler".
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Further Adventures of The Dog
The Dog is a sentient, genetically engineered, carbon-based lifeform. She has a soft golden coat, a cold wet nose, bright dark eyes and a big sweet smile. The Dog’s appearance is similar to that of an adult golden retriever from Earth even though The Dog is only a few hours old. Hello, The Dog!
The Dog was grown aboard the good ship Cerritos by her loving creator Tendi. Tendi is an Orion ensign in Starfleet. She is intelligent, cheerful, curious, loyal and friendly just like The Dog. No wonder they are such good friends!
Tendi has been very busy and excited introducing The Dog to the many fun and stimulating things aboard the Cerritos. But Tendi has also been awake for over twenty-four hours and has finally grown quite tired.
“Sorry for cutting our fun short, The Dog. But it’s been a long day and I really need to sleep,” Tendi yawned scratching The Dog behind her ear. “I’m going to crawl into my bunk and get some rest. I’ll play with you more in a few hours. You be a good girl until then, okay? Be a good girl!”
The Dog barks in confirmation as Tendi lies down and quickly falls asleep. The Dog watches Tendi’s still form for a moment before quietly padding off. The Dog is not tired. The Dog is still wide awake and curious and wants to explore more of the ship. Won’t that be fun!
The Dog happily trots down the hallway while looking and sniffing at all the fascinating things she comes across. One interesting smell is coming from a nearby room. The Dog quietly walks over and enters it.
“Ah, another day, another anomaly,” Lieutenant junior-grade Winger Bingston Jr. smiled while working by himself in Lab 4005. He peered at an oblong, gem-like object sitting behind a containment field. “Mmmm, and I thought my last performance had multiple facets…”
Ooo, look at all the shiny stuff in here! They are so sparkly and colorful and have such fascinating scents! Everything except for the blue-uniformed officer standing there. He is lacking several common scents in more ways than one.
“Hmmm, I don’t seem to be getting much from these sensor readings,” Bingston Jr. mused turning to another station. “Perhaps if I submitted the sample to a stress test. Of course, it would be nothing compared to the amount of stress I’m capable of handling.”
The Dog watches as the scents-less officer moves away before approaching the console he had been looking at. The Dog stands up on her hind legs to peer at the screen. Ah-ha! The Dog recognizes these readings! They are almost identical to the N4-methylcytosine transpositions of The Dog’s own nucleotide-based genome. The Dog knows this from listening to Tendi talk about it earlier. Tendi created The Dog very well!
However, the blue-uniformed officer did not seem to have calibrated the biosensors correctly. They have failed to identify the correct nucleobases as having unique aromatic structures. The Dog can fix this. The Dog wants to help!
The Dog warms her nose and uses it to easily manipulate the control panel’s many buttons. It does not take The Dog long to make the necessary corrections. What a smart and helpful dog The Dog is!
“Excuse me, what are you doing in here?” A surprised Bingston Jr. frowned spotting The Dog and shooing her away from the console. “Don’t play with the control panel like that. You’ll get drool all over it…huh?” He blinked noticing the complex series of calibration and genetic modeling equations entered into the computer. “What…how…?”
“Woof!” The Dog smiled cheerfully before scampering out of the lab.
“On second thought, maybe I have been under too much stress lately,” A dazed Bingston Jr. admitted. “I’m beginning to hallucinate. Perhaps I should schedule a counseling session with Doctor Migleemo. Try to find a face of my personality even I haven’t identified yet…”
Ah, that was fun! The Dog is happy she was able to help the scents-less blue-uniformed officer. He is obviously very grateful to The Dog. He and The Dog are now friends!
“Hey, what’s a stray dog doing wandering around the corridors?” Lieutenant Levy frowned spotting The Dog. “Pets aren’t allowed to do that. That dog could be a canine-looking android from an ancient civilization attempting to spy on and take over the ship.”
Ah, here is another blue-uniformed officer who is even more scents-less than the first. Perhaps he would like to be friends with The Dog too!
“That dog could also be an agent of a rogue Starfleet organization in disguise,” Levy went on. “Better call it in.” He tapped his combadge. “Lieutenant Levy to Securi…hey!”
Ha! The Dog cheerfully jumps on the scents-less officer and plucks the shiny object off his uniform with her teeth. The officer had swatted the shiny object before. The shiny object must have bothered him so The Dog has helpfully removed it. She is a good dog!
“Come back here, you stupid mutt!” Levy shouted lunging at The Dog. “Give me back my combadge!”
Ah, it seems the scents-less officer wants to play. He is trying to catch and tag The Dog. Well, The Dog can play this game too!
“Agggh, this is why so-called ‘pets’ shouldn’t be allowed aboard starships,” Levy grumbled chasing after The Dog. “‘Pets’ are all part of an alien conspiracy aiming to take over the…YEEEOOOWWW!”
Ha, ha! Look at the funny faces the scents-less officer makes when The Dog spits lightning bolts at him. He must be having fun!
“GAAAHHHHHH!” Levy screamed running away. “HELP! SOMEBODY GET THIS CRAZY DOG AWAY FROM ME…HOLY *BLEEP*! IT CAN FLY TOO! YAAAHHH!”
He, he! Now it is the scents-less officer’s turn to be tagged. Look how fast he runs!
“WAAAGGGHHHHHH! SAVE ME!” Levy wailed dashing through the corridors with The Dog hot on his heels. “OH MY GOSH, IS THAT THING SPITTING FIRE NOW?! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!”
Oh look! The officer has run into one of the little rooms that travels around the ship. The Dog likes riding in those rooms. Hold on, scents-less officer! Wait for The Dog!
“Accckkk! No! Get out of the turbolift!” Levy shrieked backing away. “Wait, don’t poke at the panel…YAAAHHHHHH!”
Ooo, look at what The Dog has done. She reconfigured the little room to move much faster than normal and to travel all around the ship. Riding in the little room is much more fun now. Wheee!
“AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH! HELP! I’M GONNA DIE!” Levy screeched as the turbolift rocketed around the ship’s lift network like an out-of-control pinball. “THIS CRAZY DOG’S TRYING TO KILL ME! AAAIIIEEEEEE! MOMMY!”
The Dog barks happily as she rides in the little room while standing on the ceiling. The little room continues to zip about for a while before eventually coming to a stop. Aw, the ride is over already? How sad!
“Ohhh,” A pale Levy crawled out of the turbolift looking like death warmed-over. “I can’t believe I survived…I can’t believe I survived…”
Well, this has been fun, but it is time for The Dog to go. The Dog has enjoyed playing and spending time with the funny scents-less officer. He has finally stopped screaming and weeping all the time. He must have had fun too!
“Excuse me, Lieutenant Levy?” Ensign Vendome walked up to Levy sprawled out on the floor. “Uh, are you okay?”
“DO I LOOK OKAY TO YOU?!” A wild-eyed Levy yelled. “SOME CRAZY FLYING DOG STOLE MY COMBADGE, SPIT LIGHTNING AND FIRE AT ME AND TRAPPED ME INSIDE THE TURBOLIFT RIDE FROM HECK FOR THE PAST HOUR!”
“Sir, have you been drinking on duty again?” Vendome asked cautiously.
“I’M NOT DRUNK!” Levy howled. “THAT STUPID DOG DID THIS TO ME! IT MUST BE SOME ESCAPED SCIENCE EXPERIMENT GONE MAD! IT’S A CONSPIRACY, I TELL YOU! IT’S TRYING TO GET ME!”
“Suuure it is,” Vendome said slowly while helping Levy to his feet. “Come on, sir. Let’s get you to Sickbay for a dermal regenerator and some anti-intoxicants.”
“I told you I’m not drunk!” Levy cried. “But I certainly could use a stiff drink or three right now…NO, NOT THE TURBOLIFT AGAIN! HELP! KEEP THAT EVIL THING AWAY FROM ME! WAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!”
The Dog winces as the scents-less officer’s high-pitched screams slowly fade away. They are soon replaced by a steady, soothing hum. The Dog enters a large open room with a bright, pulsing tower in the center. It is the source of the steady hum. This must be the ‘warp core’ Tendi told The Dog about earlier. Tendi seemed to really like the warp core. Its warm glow and reassuring sounds make The Dog really like it too!
“Keep an eye on sealing those matrix compensators, Ensign,” Lieutenant Commander Billups advised as he and Meredith knelt down to repair an exposed warp plasma conduit. “Don’t want any microfractures to form when we bring the warp core to full power.”
“Yes, sir,” Meredith nodded as The Dog trotted over and attempted to nuzzle up under Meredith’s arm. “Oh, hello there. Where did you come from?”
“Huh?” Billups glanced up from his work. “Hey, who let that dog in here? Bring Your Pet to Work Day isn’t until next week…”
“Sir, look out!” Meredith warned.
BOOM!
“Aggghhh!” Billups and Meredith yelped as a distracted Billups accidently brushed his flux decoupler against an exposed power relay causing it to overload.
“Sir!” Several engineers shouted as a cloud of noxious gas began spewing out from the damaged conduit.
“Plasma leak!” Lieutenant Merp warned working a panel. “The air is becoming toxic. Shut off all power to that section!”
“What about Commander Billups and Ensign Meredith?” Lieutenant junior-grade Cody asked worriedly. “We can’t get to them!”
Oh dear. Some of the officers have gotten hurt. They need to be moved away from the bad, smelly gas at once. Never fear, it is The Dog to the rescue!
“Hey, look!” One of the engineers pointed as The Dog easily dragged Billups and Meredith out of the danger zone with her teeth. “They’re alive!”
“Rerouting power now. The leak has been contained,” Merp said kneeling next to Billups. “Sir, are you alright?”
“Oh yeah. I’m good,” Billups coughed woozily while Cody tended to Meredith. “Careless accident on my part. Ohhh, look at the pretty birdies…”
Ah, looks like everyone is okay. The Warp Core Room does not seem to be a good place to play so The Dog will go find a better place. There is a crowd of people blocking the way out so The Dog will leave by turning herself into a blob of living plasma before slipping into an open EPS conduit and taking off. Ooo, riding inside the EPS conduit is so much fun! Wheee!
The Dog rides through the ship’s EPS system for a while before emerging and transforming back into her usual form. The Dog looks around, but does not recognize this part of the ship. Where could The Dog be?
“Hey look. A dog,” Ensign Barnes said wearing a set of workout clothes while standing with Jet in one of the squash courts.
“Really? Cool,” Jet smiled at The Dog. “What’cha doing in here, girl? You wanna play a game?”
Yes! The Dog would love to play a game! The Dog does not know what game the two people are playing, but The Dog would like to play it!
“Hey ya go, girl!” Jet grinned lobbing a squash ball against one of the crosshair-covered walls. “Go get it!”
The Dog happily barks as she races after the ball before snatching it in her mouth. The pair of officers offer praise as they hit more balls around the room for The Dog to catch which The Dog easily does. What a fun game!
“Wow, I didn’t know Earth dogs could do that,” Barnes blinked watching The Dog snag balls out of midair by extending her neck to giraffe-level lengths. “Isn’t that abnormal?”
“Eh, must be one of those mixed, interspecies breeds,” Jet commented casually. “You should see the winged, webbed canines they have on Simargl IX. Man, are they wild!”
The Dog happily plays Catch, Chase and Consume Balls with the two off-duty officers for a while. But the two officers eventually grow tired and have to go, ultimately leaving The Dog all alone. How sad!
The Dog does not want to be alone. The Dog decides to go check on Tendi. Perhaps Tendi is awake and would like to play with The Dog! The Dog makes her way through the ship and back to Tendi’s bunk. But Tendi is still asleep. Too bad. Guess The Dog will continue to explore the ship.
The Dog transforms herself into a metal cube while passing Tendi’s friends Boimler and Mariner on the way out. The Dog would like to play with Mariner and Boimler, but since they did not want to play with The Dog earlier, they probably would not like to play with The Dog now. But that is okay. The Dog will simply find someone else to play with.
The Dog wanders through the ship’s corridors for a while passing many people on the way. Some of the people stop and pat The Dog on her head, but most simply ignore The Dog. This is not fun. Perhaps it is because The Dog is much, much younger than these people. The Dog decides to try and find some young people to play with. The Dog soon catches the scents of several young lifeforms and follows them to another part of the ship.
“Ah, at last. My long search is at an end,” A green, glowing figure hovered inside one of the Cerritos’ primary childcare facilities. The childcare provider Ms. Arnemann lay slumped unconscious across her desk. “Finally, I shall have my revenge!”
“Go away,” A crowd of young children glanced at the figure dismissfully. “You aren’t our parents or our teacher. We won’t listen to you.”
“Ah, but you will listen me,” The glowing, semi-transparent figure smiled confidently. “I, Nivlem, command you to follow me, obey my orders and worship my existence. In return I shall bestow upon you great joy, liberty and power!”
“Seriously?” Several of the kids gave the glowing figure disdainful looks. “Why would we ever want to obey or follow you? You’re weird, you’re annoying, you talk funny…”
“Enough with the backtalk and just obey me already!” The glowing figure Nivlem demanded. “With such young, malleable minds under my command I will seize this ship, eliminate my enemies and rend the cursed Federation asunder once and for all!”
Oh dear. This strange lifeform does not seem to be having much fun. It must be sad. Never fear, strange lifeform. The Dog will cheer you up!
“All mature humanoid units will be eliminated!” Nivlem cackled. “They deserve it for what they did to the great, legendary Gorgon…YEEEOOOWWW!”
Ha! Look at that! The strange lifeform likes to play. See how well it conducts electricity and other forms of non-corporeal energy!
“OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!” Nivlem screamed and flew around the room as The Dog hovered and spit lightning bolts at him. “WHAT IS THIS?! SOMEBODY HELP ME! CHILDREN, I COMMAND YOU TO…AAAHHHHHHHHH!”
“Ooo,” The kids watched as The Dog playfully pummeled Nivlem with crackling bolts of energy. “Pretty…”
My, the strange lifeform is shouting very loud. It must be very happy! The Dog will make it even happier by petting the strange lifeform on the head.
“GAAAHHHHHH! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!” Nivlem shrieked in pain. “I’M A NON-CORPOREAL BEING! HOW CAN THIS STUPID DOG BE HURTING ME LIKE THIS…AAAGGGHHH, I’M ON FIRE! AAAIIIEEEEEEEEE!”
“Ooo,” The kids cooed. “Pretty flames…”
The strange lifeform sure seems to like pets. And having The Dog scratch behind the strange lifeform’s ears with The Dog’s teeth.
“WAAAHHHHHH! HELP! THIS CRAZY DOG’S TRYING TO EAT ME!”
Hmmm, The Dog wonders if the strange lifeform is ticklish. The Dog will find out by tickling the strange lifeform’s bulging belly with her nose.
“OH MOMMA THAT HURTS!”
Oops! The Dog’s aim was a bit low. That wasn’t the strange lifeform’s belly at all. But that is okay. The Dog will simply try again!
“YAAAHHHHHH! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU INSANE SICKO!” A scorched, heavily-beaten Nivlem wailed while futilely attempting to fend off The Dog. “GAAAHHHHHH, THAT’S IT! I’M OUTTA HERE!”
Oh look. The strange lifeform has flown off. It must be playing hide-and-seek. Don’t worry, strange lifeform. The Dog will find you!
“Hey, come back!” The group of kids protested as The Dog made herself intangible before phasing through the ceiling. “We wanna play with and smack the weird, glowing man too!”
“Ohhh, what happened?” Arnemann yawned and slowly sat up at her desk. “Did I fall asleep? My mind’s all foggy…”
“Look, Ms. Arnemann is awake,” The kids noticed crowding around her. “You missed all the fun, ma’am. This weird glowing man showed up and put you to sleep before being chased away by a flying dog that breathed lightning.”
“Huh?” Arnemann blinked doing a take.
“Yeah, and the dog also shot out flames and sparklers and hit the weird glowing man with her nose,” The kids went on. “Right before both of them disappeared into thin air.”
“Okay, that’s enough computer games and holonovels for you,” Arnemann declared herding the kids together. “Time for everyone to take a nap.”
“AAAGGGHHHHHH! STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID MUTT!” Nivlem screamed flying through the ship with The Dog hot on his heels. “STOP SPITTING ENERGY BOLTS AT ME! YUCK, DON’T SPLATTER ME WITH DROOL TOO…OH MY GOSH, IT BURNS! IT BURNS! AAAIIIEEEEEEEEE!”
He, he, he! This is fun! The Dog likes playing tag with the strange lifeform. Listen to the strange lifeform cry in joy. The Dog and the strange lifeform are seeing so many new rooms too as they pass through them. There is a room full of all kinds of blinking mechanical equipment. A room full of lush plants. Even a room full of undressed officers.
“Ahhh! What the heck is that?!”
“Look out!”
“Gaaahhh! The sonic showers are haunted! Security!”
Ooo, here is another new room. It is big and is full of all kinds of small ships. And there is an officer here whose scent is very similar to Tendi’s friend Mariner.
“Computer, transfer all command codes to Captain Amina Ramsey,” A black-clad Captain Freeman said standing next to a waiting shuttlecraft while holding a cylinder containing a rulot seedling. “Voice authorization: Freeman Beta Gamma Six.”
“Transfer complete,” The computer stated. “U.S.S. Cerritos now under command of Captain Amina Ramsey.”
“I relieve you, Captain,” Ramsey smiled standing in front of her newly arrived, hand-picked command staff.
“I stand relieved,” Freeman confirmed.
“AAAGGGHHHHHH! NOT THE LIGHTNING BOLTS AGAIN!” Nivlem shrieked as he and The Dog abruptly zoomed through the shuttlebay. “OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!”
“Oh what fun it is to shock and shock and shock away! Hey!” The Dog sang happily.
“Very, very relieved,” Freeman added.
“Did I just see some sort of non-corporeal entity pass through the ship’s bulkheads while being chased by a flying, singing, lightning-spitting dog that was on fire?” A stunned Ramsey asked.
“Yep,” Freeman nodded quickly entering the shuttlecraft to join a waiting Ransom and Shaxs. “And they’re all yours.”
“O-kay,” Ramsey blinked as the shuttlecraft speedily departed the Cerritos. “Maybe the rumors about the Cerritos being a flying insane asylum weren’t exaggerated…”
“GAAAHHHHHH! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!” Nivlem cried as he began to evanesce. “MY ENERGY RESERVES ARE USED UP! I CAN’T MAINTAIN MY FORM! NO! NOOOOOOO…AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!”
Hmmm, it seems the strange lifeform has disappeared. The Dog can not find the strange lifeform anywhere. It must not want to play anymore. Too bad.
But The Dog has come to a new room. It has a big wide bed, a long soft couch, a table topped with fresh fruit and lots of potted plants. What a nice room!
The Dog happily plays about the room for a while, but eventually grows sad. It is lonely being in this big room all by herself. The Dog decides to leave the room and find other people to play with.
“Ohhh, my head,” A haggard Levy staggered through the doorway, completely oblivious to The Dog departing by flying above him. “I can’t believe everyone in Sickbay thought I was drunk on duty. But I’m certainly going to drink now that I’m off duty…WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO MY QUARTERS?! WHO MESSED UP MY BED?! MY PILLOWS ARE ALL CHEWED UP! THE FRUIT’S BEEN MACERATED AND THE TABLE’S BEEN SHATTERED INTO A ZILLION PIECES! MY PLANTS ARE ALL DEAD! GAAAHHHHHH, THE UNIVERSE IS TRYING TO DRIVE ME MAD! IT’S A CONSPIRACY I TELL YOU! ARRRGGGHHH!”
Aha! That’s it! The Dog will go to Sickbay. The Dog knows Tendi often works in Sickbay and has heard her talk about it a lot. Sickbay must be a very interesting place indeed. The Dog would like to see it!
The Dog wanders through many more corridors before finally locating Sickbay. Ooo, Sickbay smells so clean. And there are so many fascinating things to sniff and see!
“Hey, what’s that dog doing in here?” Nurse Westlake asked while bent over a prone Billups lying on a biobed. “I’m trying to perform reconstructive surgery.”
“Ugh, get that dog away,” Escher frowned while tending to Meredith. “It’s getting fur everywhere. Sickbay is supposed to be a sterile environment.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll handle it,” A Bajoran lieutenant dressed in operations gold said reaching for The Dog. “Come here, girl. Let’s leave the doctors and nurses to their work…BY THE PROPHETS! IT JUST GREW A SECOND HEAD!”
“Huh?” Several medtechs looked over as The Dog grew a third head and ran about looking like a cute, golden version of Cerberus. “Yikes!”
“Aaahhhhhh!” The Bajoran lieutenant yelped backpedaling before flipping over a surgical table. “Oh, my back…”
“What the heck is going on out here?” Doctor T’Ana growled emerging from her office. “Everyone get back to work before I…is that a dog?! Is its tail glowing?!”
“Apparently,” Westlake gulped. “And it seems to be prehensile too.”
“Help! That dog’s shedding all over the lab area!” Tellman shouted.
“It just ate my tricorder,” Escher gulped.
“WHAT THE DEVIL IS THAT THING?!” T’Ana screeched backing away from an affectionate The Dog. “AND WHOSE THE HECK IS IT?!”
“There you are,” Tendi casually entered Sickbay and happily waved at The Dog. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“Woof!” The Dog barked and ran over to Tendi having returned to her usual form half a second before Tendi appeared.
“You must’ve been off exploring the ship during my nap,” Tendi cooed kneeling down and scratching The Dog behind her ears. “Did you have a nice time? Did ya? Did ya?”
“Ensign Tendi!” T’Ana hissed storming over. “Care to explain just what the heck this crazy animal is?”
“Hello, Doctor,” Tendi chirped and proudly indicated The Dog. “This is my latest Medical side project. Presenting my dog: The Dog!”
“That’s not a dog!” T’Ana snapped. “It’s an unholy, insane science experiment!”
“Shhh, don’t say that!” Tendi protested covering The Dog’s ears. “You’ll hurt her feelings.”
“I don’t give a Rasiinian asp about that thing’s feelings,” T’Ana hissed grabbing a padd. “I’m alerting Division 14 to come and pick up that medical monstrosity at once.”
“No! You can’t do that!” Tendi gasped. “There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s just a normal dog!”
“No, it’s not. It’s a menace,” T’Ana growled pointing at The Dog. “Stay and keep that thing under control until the Division 14 ship Osler gets here.”
“But…” Tendi protested.
“That’s an order, Ensign!” T’Ana snapped walking away. “Grrr, as if I didn’t have enough problems to worry about around here.”
“Oh no!” Tendi cried wrapping The Dog into a fierce hug. “Don’t worry, The Dog. I’ll protect you. If you go, I’ll go! They can’t just take you away from me. That’s a direct violation of your basic sentient rights!”
My, Tendi seems to be very upset. Perhaps she did not get enough sleep. But there is no reason for her to worry. And even if she does worry, The Dog will comfort her.
This has been a very interesting day. The most interesting day of The Dog’s day-old existence. The Dog can’t wait to see what other fascinating days and adventures are in store for her!
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
