Originally posted on fanfiction.net - Link.
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Pilot's Ed
“Computer, load Shuttle Training Program Thirty-Six,” Boimler said as he and Tendi entered Holodeck Two.
“Oooh, I’ve been so looking forward to this!” Tendi squealed eagerly as the black-and-gold hologrid was replaced by a replica of the Cerritos’ shuttlebay. “Thanks again for agreeing to be my flight instructor, Boimler.”
“No problem. Always willing to help a friend,” Boimler smiled entering a waiting shuttle. “Plus, I can now add ‘helped train fellow officers in shuttlecraft operations’ to my service record.”
“This is going to be great!” Tendi chirped sliding into the pilot’s seat. “I’ve being reading everything about shuttle controls, maneuvers and procedures for the past week. Now I can finally put it all into practice!”
“Well, remember that piloting a spacecraft is a learned skill. It’s not as easy as it looks,” Boimler reminded taking the seat next to her. “You’re not just pushing a bunch of random highlighted buttons in order to look cool.”
“But it is cool! Flying a spacecraft through space is so awesome and glamorous!” Tendi excitedly ran her hands over the control panel. “The closest I’ve ever come to manning the helm of a shuttle before now was asking the computer to engage the autopilot.”
“Well, don’t try sneaking in the use of the autopilot this time. I’ll be closely monitoring your performance,” Boimler said holding up a padd. “What made you finally decide to get your pilot certification anyway?”
“Oh, I just love learning new skills, specialties and things. Now seemed like a good time to do it,” Tendi shrugged. “Especially since I’ve won the ship-wide Anti-Grav Lift Races for Medical the last three times in a row.”
“I know. Mariner is still crowing about it,” Boimler rolled his eyes. “She won two bottles of Romulan ale and a kut’luch betting on that last race. Well, more like won them back…”
“Okay, let’s see what we have here. I can do this!” Tendi smiled and began quickly prepping the shuttle. “Warp core is online. Sensors are calibrated. Deuterium levels are topped off. Flow through the plasma injectors is steady.”
“Good. Nice job on the pre-flight check,” Boimler noted it on his padd. “Now, take us out nice and easy…AAAHHHHHH!”
“Alright!” Tendi grinned engaging the engines. “Let’s see what this puppy can do! Yes!”
“YAAAHHHHHH!” Boimler yelped as the shuttle rocketed into space. “TENDI! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FLY OUT FROM A SHIP’S SHUTTLEBAY AT FULL IMPULSE!”
“Aw, you’re exaggerating, Boimler. I only had us going at three-quarters impulse,” Tendi waved. “This is full impulse!”
“AAAGGGHHH!” Boimler screamed as the acceleration slammed him back in his seat. “Gahhh, the inertial dampers on this thing are terrible!”
“Oh, that. It’s a little trick I picked up from reading about Captain Sulu’s early days,” Tendi smiled. “Diverting power from the inertial dampers to the structural integrity field gives you a better feel of how the ship is really doing. And it helps reinforce hull integrity in case of probable collisions.”
“WHAT?!” Boimler yelped as a convoy of cargo ships rapidly came into view. “AAAHHHHHH! LOOK OUT!”
“Relax, I got this!” Tendi grinned weaving in and out amongst the freighters. “See? It’s completely safe!”
“You call this safe?!” Boimler shrieked clutching his chair for dear life. “YAAAHHHHHH! I’M GONNA DIE!”
“Don’t worry, Boimler. The shuttle’s shields are up,” Tendi smiled as they casually bounced off several freighters’ hulls. “Boy, the engineers sure did a great job when they designed this baby!”
“Too bad they forgot to equip it with crash helmets,” Boimler moaned as several cargo ships veered off and rammed into each other.
“Hey, look! There’s a Kuiper Belt filled with comet fragments nearby,” Tendi glanced at the sensors. “Let’s check it out!”
“No! Stop! This isn’t part of the lesson…aaaggghhh!” Boimler yelled as Tendi quickly changed course.
“Ooo, isn’t it pretty?” Tendi oohed flying through a dense area of the belt. “I just love the way the sun sparkles off all these giant hunks of ice. I really like ice!”
“I’d really like to not turn into an ice cube!” Boimler blanched watching huge chunks of ice and rock tumble by. “Waaahhh! Pull up! Pull up!”
“Boy, this is great!” Tendi chirped barrel rolling around a series of comet fragments. “Reading the control panels in a moving shuttle is a lot different than reading from a padd. I don’t feel sick at all!”
“I wish I could say the same,” Boimler gurgled turning even greener than his friend.
“Wow, look at that one,” Tendi spotted a large fragment covered with chasms and fissures. “I bet you could fly the Cerritos into there! Hmmm, that gives me an idea…”
“Oh no! Don’t even think about…WAAAUUUGGGHHH!” Boimler screamed as Tendi headed straight toward the fragment and darted into a crevice.
“Eeeeee! This is so cool!” Tendi cackled flying through the dark, icy chasm. “Even Risan amusement parks don’t have rides like this!”
“It’s just a simulation! Everything is fine! It’s just a simulation! Everything is fine!” Boimler whimpered chanting to himself. “It’s not like I ordered the computer to disable safely protocols.”
“Safety protocols disengaged,” The computer announced.
“WHAT?! NO!” Boimler shrieked frantically. “COMPUTER, REACTIVATE SAFETY PROTOCOLS!”
“Safely protocols are not a feature of this vessel,” The computer replied.
“NO, NOT THE SHUTTLE’S SAFETY PROTOCOLS! I MEANT THE HOLODECK’S SAFETY PROTOCOLS!” Boimler screamed in clarification.
“Holodeck facilities are not available aboard this vessel.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Boimler yelped as the shuttle continued to erratically bob and weave about. “AGGGHHH, WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS SPEECH RECOGNITION PROGRAM?”
“Wheeeeee, that was fun!” Tendi beamed zipping out from the comet fragment. “Let’s do it again! Hey, what’s that over there?”
“Hopefully my remaining will to live,” Boimler moaned abandoning his attempts to reason with the computer. “Along with a few surviving shreds and slivers of sanity!”
“Oh my! It’s some kind of spaceborne lifeform!” Tendi gazed in awe. “Well, more like a whole school of them.”
“What?!” Boimler blanched again as a swarm of Saber-class-sized cosmozoans appeared as the shuttle zoomed among them. “YAHHH! LOOK OUT! WE’RE GONNA HIT!”
“Wow, these things are amazing!” Tendi oohed rocketing through the school of oblong, space-dwelling creatures. “What you think they are? Something like the elogium-triggering lifeforms Voyager encountered in the Delta Quadrant? Or Junior-like organisms like the one that attached itself to the Enterprise?”
“I’m more worried about them attaching themselves to me!” Boimler screamed as several lifeforms clipped the shuttle. “WAAAHHHHHH! GET US OUTTA HERE!”
“Bye-bye, strange lifeforms! Take care!” Tendi waved flying free of the swarm. “That was so neat! I have got to read up about them later…uh oh.”
“Uh oh?” Boimler began to twitch nervously. “What do you mean ‘uh oh’?”
“A sudden plasma storm is passing through this system,” Tendi reported. “We’re heading right into it!”
CCCRAAACKKK!
“Oh no…AAAGGGHHH!” Boimler cried as the shuttle was suddenly surrounded by harsh lightning flares and deadly plasma filaments.
“Whoa, it is getting kinda rough in here, isn’t it?” Tendi commented as the shuttle jolted and shook violently. She piloted around a trio of plasma eddies at top speed which caused the shuttle to spin around like a centrifuge. “Don’t worry, Boimler. I’ll get us out!”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” Boimler whimpered turning nearly as white as his knuckles.
“There, all done!” Tendi beamed as the shuttle quit shaking and broke free from the storm. “No more plasma filaments.”
“Thank goodness,” Boimler sighed.
“Now there’s only the quantum filament I have to deal with,” Tendi said.
“WHAT?!” Boimler shrieked at the ominous-looking astrophysical phenomenon highlighted on a display.
“Calm down, Boimler. I can handle this,” Tendi declared pushing the engines. “I think…”
“You think?!” Boimler nearly passed out as the shuttle shot toward the filament. “GAAAHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU CRAZY?!”
“And…there!” Tendi smiled as the shuttle skimmed past the filament with only a few meters to spare. “See? Nothing to it. Wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I was really hoping for more of a challenge. Hmmm, I wonder if there are any cosmic strings lurking nearby…”
“NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Boimler screamed at the top of his lungs. “TAKE US BACK RIGHT NOW! I MEAN IT!”
“Aw, okay,” Tendi pouted turning the shuttle about.
“That’s better,” Boimler gasped while attempting to get his trembling body under control. “It’s about time you starting listening to me…wait, what are you doing?”
“Heading back to the ship,” Tendi smiled aiming the shuttle toward the center of the nearby planetary system. “What does it look like?”
“It looks like a neutron star…YAAAHHHHHH!” Boimler shrieked as the shuttle jumped to warp.
“Don’t worry, Boimler. I got this,” Tendi grinned red-lining the engines. “Just doing a quick slingshot maneuver to pick up a little extra speed.”
“WAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH! MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES!” Boimler whimpered as the star’s awesome gravity threatened to rip the shuttle to pieces. “It was looking pretty good too until now!”
“Yahoooooo!” Tendi whooped as the shuttle whipped around the star and shot away like a bat out of heck. “Now this is what being a Starfleet pilot is all about! Yeah!”
“My pulse! I can’t feel my pulse!” Boimler’s voice was higher than a malfunctioning sonic shower while Tendi proceeded to laugh maniacally. “I used to have a pulse! I’m turning blue!”
“Hey, look! There’s the ship,” Tendi pointed out the window. “That certainly was fast, wasn’t it?”
“It’s about time! I feel like I’ve lost my mind and about three years of my life,” Boimler moaned as multiple alarms began going off. “Just drop out of warp and have them bring us in with a tractor beam.”
“A tractor beam? Are you kidding? That’s way too slow,” Tendi waved. “I have a better idea.”
“NO! THERE ARE NO BETTER IDEAS!” Boimler shouted frantically.
“Yes, there is,” Tendi smiled aiming between the slowly opening shuttlebay doors. “This is also something I picked up from reading about Captain Sulu when the Enterprise was in orbit around Nimbus III.”
“Oh no…AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!” Boimler shrieked as the shuttle roared into the open bay, skidded along the floor and crashed into a raised arrestor net before finally coming to a stop.
“Ta-da!” Tendi grinned triumphantly. “That was great! Best flying lesson ever! Pretty good for a first-time pilot, huh Boimler? Boimler?”
“Ah…ohhh…eee…uhhh…” A twitching Boimler toppled out of his chair and curled up in a fetal position.
“Okay, so some of my reaction times were a little slow,” Tendi admitted. “But I’ll have them all worked out by the next lesson.”
“N-N-Next lesson?” Boimler shrieked.
“Hmmm, maybe I could try flying something faster and with more power,” Tendi mused hopefully. “Like a runabout or a Peregrine-class. Ooo, I heard there’s a Delta Flyer program that’s supposed to be pretty sweet!”
“Eeep!” Boimler squeaked and began sucking his thumb.
“Wow, training to be a Starfleet pilot sure is stimulating!” Tendi ended the program while happily skipping out of the holodeck. “I can’t wait until I get to fly a real shuttlecraft!”
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
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Pilot's Ed
“Computer, load Shuttle Training Program Thirty-Six,” Boimler said as he and Tendi entered Holodeck Two.
“Oooh, I’ve been so looking forward to this!” Tendi squealed eagerly as the black-and-gold hologrid was replaced by a replica of the Cerritos’ shuttlebay. “Thanks again for agreeing to be my flight instructor, Boimler.”
“No problem. Always willing to help a friend,” Boimler smiled entering a waiting shuttle. “Plus, I can now add ‘helped train fellow officers in shuttlecraft operations’ to my service record.”
“This is going to be great!” Tendi chirped sliding into the pilot’s seat. “I’ve being reading everything about shuttle controls, maneuvers and procedures for the past week. Now I can finally put it all into practice!”
“Well, remember that piloting a spacecraft is a learned skill. It’s not as easy as it looks,” Boimler reminded taking the seat next to her. “You’re not just pushing a bunch of random highlighted buttons in order to look cool.”
“But it is cool! Flying a spacecraft through space is so awesome and glamorous!” Tendi excitedly ran her hands over the control panel. “The closest I’ve ever come to manning the helm of a shuttle before now was asking the computer to engage the autopilot.”
“Well, don’t try sneaking in the use of the autopilot this time. I’ll be closely monitoring your performance,” Boimler said holding up a padd. “What made you finally decide to get your pilot certification anyway?”
“Oh, I just love learning new skills, specialties and things. Now seemed like a good time to do it,” Tendi shrugged. “Especially since I’ve won the ship-wide Anti-Grav Lift Races for Medical the last three times in a row.”
“I know. Mariner is still crowing about it,” Boimler rolled his eyes. “She won two bottles of Romulan ale and a kut’luch betting on that last race. Well, more like won them back…”
“Okay, let’s see what we have here. I can do this!” Tendi smiled and began quickly prepping the shuttle. “Warp core is online. Sensors are calibrated. Deuterium levels are topped off. Flow through the plasma injectors is steady.”
“Good. Nice job on the pre-flight check,” Boimler noted it on his padd. “Now, take us out nice and easy…AAAHHHHHH!”
“Alright!” Tendi grinned engaging the engines. “Let’s see what this puppy can do! Yes!”
“YAAAHHHHHH!” Boimler yelped as the shuttle rocketed into space. “TENDI! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FLY OUT FROM A SHIP’S SHUTTLEBAY AT FULL IMPULSE!”
“Aw, you’re exaggerating, Boimler. I only had us going at three-quarters impulse,” Tendi waved. “This is full impulse!”
“AAAGGGHHH!” Boimler screamed as the acceleration slammed him back in his seat. “Gahhh, the inertial dampers on this thing are terrible!”
“Oh, that. It’s a little trick I picked up from reading about Captain Sulu’s early days,” Tendi smiled. “Diverting power from the inertial dampers to the structural integrity field gives you a better feel of how the ship is really doing. And it helps reinforce hull integrity in case of probable collisions.”
“WHAT?!” Boimler yelped as a convoy of cargo ships rapidly came into view. “AAAHHHHHH! LOOK OUT!”
“Relax, I got this!” Tendi grinned weaving in and out amongst the freighters. “See? It’s completely safe!”
“You call this safe?!” Boimler shrieked clutching his chair for dear life. “YAAAHHHHHH! I’M GONNA DIE!”
“Don’t worry, Boimler. The shuttle’s shields are up,” Tendi smiled as they casually bounced off several freighters’ hulls. “Boy, the engineers sure did a great job when they designed this baby!”
“Too bad they forgot to equip it with crash helmets,” Boimler moaned as several cargo ships veered off and rammed into each other.
“Hey, look! There’s a Kuiper Belt filled with comet fragments nearby,” Tendi glanced at the sensors. “Let’s check it out!”
“No! Stop! This isn’t part of the lesson…aaaggghhh!” Boimler yelled as Tendi quickly changed course.
“Ooo, isn’t it pretty?” Tendi oohed flying through a dense area of the belt. “I just love the way the sun sparkles off all these giant hunks of ice. I really like ice!”
“I’d really like to not turn into an ice cube!” Boimler blanched watching huge chunks of ice and rock tumble by. “Waaahhh! Pull up! Pull up!”
“Boy, this is great!” Tendi chirped barrel rolling around a series of comet fragments. “Reading the control panels in a moving shuttle is a lot different than reading from a padd. I don’t feel sick at all!”
“I wish I could say the same,” Boimler gurgled turning even greener than his friend.
“Wow, look at that one,” Tendi spotted a large fragment covered with chasms and fissures. “I bet you could fly the Cerritos into there! Hmmm, that gives me an idea…”
“Oh no! Don’t even think about…WAAAUUUGGGHHH!” Boimler screamed as Tendi headed straight toward the fragment and darted into a crevice.
“Eeeeee! This is so cool!” Tendi cackled flying through the dark, icy chasm. “Even Risan amusement parks don’t have rides like this!”
“It’s just a simulation! Everything is fine! It’s just a simulation! Everything is fine!” Boimler whimpered chanting to himself. “It’s not like I ordered the computer to disable safely protocols.”
“Safety protocols disengaged,” The computer announced.
“WHAT?! NO!” Boimler shrieked frantically. “COMPUTER, REACTIVATE SAFETY PROTOCOLS!”
“Safely protocols are not a feature of this vessel,” The computer replied.
“NO, NOT THE SHUTTLE’S SAFETY PROTOCOLS! I MEANT THE HOLODECK’S SAFETY PROTOCOLS!” Boimler screamed in clarification.
“Holodeck facilities are not available aboard this vessel.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Boimler yelped as the shuttle continued to erratically bob and weave about. “AGGGHHH, WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS SPEECH RECOGNITION PROGRAM?”
“Wheeeeee, that was fun!” Tendi beamed zipping out from the comet fragment. “Let’s do it again! Hey, what’s that over there?”
“Hopefully my remaining will to live,” Boimler moaned abandoning his attempts to reason with the computer. “Along with a few surviving shreds and slivers of sanity!”
“Oh my! It’s some kind of spaceborne lifeform!” Tendi gazed in awe. “Well, more like a whole school of them.”
“What?!” Boimler blanched again as a swarm of Saber-class-sized cosmozoans appeared as the shuttle zoomed among them. “YAHHH! LOOK OUT! WE’RE GONNA HIT!”
“Wow, these things are amazing!” Tendi oohed rocketing through the school of oblong, space-dwelling creatures. “What you think they are? Something like the elogium-triggering lifeforms Voyager encountered in the Delta Quadrant? Or Junior-like organisms like the one that attached itself to the Enterprise?”
“I’m more worried about them attaching themselves to me!” Boimler screamed as several lifeforms clipped the shuttle. “WAAAHHHHHH! GET US OUTTA HERE!”
“Bye-bye, strange lifeforms! Take care!” Tendi waved flying free of the swarm. “That was so neat! I have got to read up about them later…uh oh.”
“Uh oh?” Boimler began to twitch nervously. “What do you mean ‘uh oh’?”
“A sudden plasma storm is passing through this system,” Tendi reported. “We’re heading right into it!”
CCCRAAACKKK!
“Oh no…AAAGGGHHH!” Boimler cried as the shuttle was suddenly surrounded by harsh lightning flares and deadly plasma filaments.
“Whoa, it is getting kinda rough in here, isn’t it?” Tendi commented as the shuttle jolted and shook violently. She piloted around a trio of plasma eddies at top speed which caused the shuttle to spin around like a centrifuge. “Don’t worry, Boimler. I’ll get us out!”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” Boimler whimpered turning nearly as white as his knuckles.
“There, all done!” Tendi beamed as the shuttle quit shaking and broke free from the storm. “No more plasma filaments.”
“Thank goodness,” Boimler sighed.
“Now there’s only the quantum filament I have to deal with,” Tendi said.
“WHAT?!” Boimler shrieked at the ominous-looking astrophysical phenomenon highlighted on a display.
“Calm down, Boimler. I can handle this,” Tendi declared pushing the engines. “I think…”
“You think?!” Boimler nearly passed out as the shuttle shot toward the filament. “GAAAHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU CRAZY?!”
“And…there!” Tendi smiled as the shuttle skimmed past the filament with only a few meters to spare. “See? Nothing to it. Wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I was really hoping for more of a challenge. Hmmm, I wonder if there are any cosmic strings lurking nearby…”
“NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Boimler screamed at the top of his lungs. “TAKE US BACK RIGHT NOW! I MEAN IT!”
“Aw, okay,” Tendi pouted turning the shuttle about.
“That’s better,” Boimler gasped while attempting to get his trembling body under control. “It’s about time you starting listening to me…wait, what are you doing?”
“Heading back to the ship,” Tendi smiled aiming the shuttle toward the center of the nearby planetary system. “What does it look like?”
“It looks like a neutron star…YAAAHHHHHH!” Boimler shrieked as the shuttle jumped to warp.
“Don’t worry, Boimler. I got this,” Tendi grinned red-lining the engines. “Just doing a quick slingshot maneuver to pick up a little extra speed.”
“WAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH! MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES!” Boimler whimpered as the star’s awesome gravity threatened to rip the shuttle to pieces. “It was looking pretty good too until now!”
“Yahoooooo!” Tendi whooped as the shuttle whipped around the star and shot away like a bat out of heck. “Now this is what being a Starfleet pilot is all about! Yeah!”
“My pulse! I can’t feel my pulse!” Boimler’s voice was higher than a malfunctioning sonic shower while Tendi proceeded to laugh maniacally. “I used to have a pulse! I’m turning blue!”
“Hey, look! There’s the ship,” Tendi pointed out the window. “That certainly was fast, wasn’t it?”
“It’s about time! I feel like I’ve lost my mind and about three years of my life,” Boimler moaned as multiple alarms began going off. “Just drop out of warp and have them bring us in with a tractor beam.”
“A tractor beam? Are you kidding? That’s way too slow,” Tendi waved. “I have a better idea.”
“NO! THERE ARE NO BETTER IDEAS!” Boimler shouted frantically.
“Yes, there is,” Tendi smiled aiming between the slowly opening shuttlebay doors. “This is also something I picked up from reading about Captain Sulu when the Enterprise was in orbit around Nimbus III.”
“Oh no…AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!” Boimler shrieked as the shuttle roared into the open bay, skidded along the floor and crashed into a raised arrestor net before finally coming to a stop.
“Ta-da!” Tendi grinned triumphantly. “That was great! Best flying lesson ever! Pretty good for a first-time pilot, huh Boimler? Boimler?”
“Ah…ohhh…eee…uhhh…” A twitching Boimler toppled out of his chair and curled up in a fetal position.
“Okay, so some of my reaction times were a little slow,” Tendi admitted. “But I’ll have them all worked out by the next lesson.”
“N-N-Next lesson?” Boimler shrieked.
“Hmmm, maybe I could try flying something faster and with more power,” Tendi mused hopefully. “Like a runabout or a Peregrine-class. Ooo, I heard there’s a Delta Flyer program that’s supposed to be pretty sweet!”
“Eeep!” Boimler squeaked and began sucking his thumb.
“Wow, training to be a Starfleet pilot sure is stimulating!” Tendi ended the program while happily skipping out of the holodeck. “I can’t wait until I get to fly a real shuttlecraft!”
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
