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STAR TREK Jokes, Parodies, And Puns...

If you poured salt water on the chief's head, would he be Chief O'Brine?

Ok, I'll stop... :o

NO! I WON'T STOP!! :evil::evil::evil:

If you smeared lard all over the Emissary... did you just Crisco Sisko?

If O'Brien's daughter got a stuffed parrot, is it a Molly's Polly dolly?

If you leave the Cardassian prefect on Mercury... is he now Gul Duk-HOT?

If a certain changeling turned into a metal object... could he corr-odo?
 
Is the opposite of...
Pulaski... Push-aski?
Picard... Pic-easy?
McCoy... Mc-brazen?
Crusher... Crush-him?
Chekhov... Check-on?
Sisko... Bro-ko?
Harry Kim... Bald Kim?
Beckett Mariner... Beckett Landlubber?

Also, since Starfleet uses the metric system, shouldn't the chief's name be Kilometers O'Brien?
 
Also, since Starfleet uses the metric system, shouldn't the chief's name be Kilometers O'Brien?

Way back in the early '90s, a friend and I teamed up to write a TNG soap opera parody. We had fun coming up with names for the crew, and decided that Wesley Crusher should be Eastly Smasher. Of course Miles O'Brien became Kilometres O'Brien (Canadian fans, Canadian Star Trek club, how could we not?).
 
Garak with Kirk at the campfire (whispers to McCoy)
“Go ahead and sing row your boat—“

Spock: I want my Mommy!
Garak: SHUT UP!

Judge Dredd appears standing on the Guardian of Forever
 
Q. What would happen if Tom's favorite ship had its wings blasted off?
A. It would be the Delta Walker.

Q. What would happen if Tom's other favorite ship got really upset?
A. Alice Malice

Q. What do you call a Borg that assimilates a vineyard?
A. Seven of Wine

A place where honey is produced? Third of Hive
The second little pig's domicile? Five of Sticks
A buffet? Two of Ate
 
I'll solve this mystery on the double;
T'was Wesley's static warping bubble
That opened without any trouble,
And gobbled up Pulaski.


TRAVELLER: (phasing in) It's not over, Wesley. There's still a way.

Captain's log, stardate 43162.5. The Traveller, a mysterious visitor from our past, has reappeared. It seems he knew about our static warp bubble experiment that swallowed dr. Pulaski, without being told.

[Observation lounge]

PICARD: Is she alive?
TRAVELLER: As long as she thinks she is alive, she is alive.
RIKER: What the hell does that mean?
TRAVELLER: Your species have very narrow perceptions of time and space and thought. When she was caught in the static warp bubble, she created her own reality. Her thoughts at the precise moment she was trapped determined its shape and form.
TROI: Can you go in and get her back?
TRAVELLER: No, it is her reality. I cannot enter it any more than I can enter her thoughts.
WESLEY: But you said there's still a way.
TRAVELLER: I can help, but I can't do it myself. Wesley, there is a power within each of us that most people haven't begun to realise, but you have begun, or else I would not have known to come here now. Together we may be able to open a gateway for her. But she must choose to walk through it.
WESLEY: Nah, never mind. Sounds like a lot of effort. This woman replaced my mother for no good reason in the first place, and she never fitted in with the rest of us, criticizing Data and not kissing the Captain's butt like we all do anyway. I say we leave her there. Good riddance.
<everybody in the lounge slowly nods>
<TRAVELLER LOOKS AROUND> Well, if that's how you think about it .... <phases out>
<credits, music. Next episode features Beverley as if nothing happened>
 
Q - How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
A - 3: his right ear, left ear, and a final front-ear.

- McCoy walks into a restaurant and asks the waiter, “Do you serve crabs here?”
The waiter looked at him and said, “We serve everybody. Take a seat.”
 
So when Commander Eddington arrived, he kept egging Sisko on and became a traitor. Why did nobody call him Eggs Benedict Eddington as homage to Benedict Arnold?

Okay, that wasn't as eggcellent as I'd thought. The yolk's on me. I must have scrambled the joke, but I'll try to remain sunny side up... I'll whip up another eggsruciatingly bad one later...

Now accuse me of not hamming that up... now if anyone is green with envy, there you go: Green eggs and ham.

:shifty:
 
In Ten Forward, Riker sits down and orders fajitas. After coming from the bar, the waiter approaches Riker and sets down the food.

Waiter: "Careful, sir. This plate is really hot."

Riker: "Don't worry. I'm not attracted to plates."
:hugegrin:
 
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