ST: Independence 09 "The Expropriation"

[Gibraltar]

A fantastic end to a terrific story. Aurelia’s learning, slowly but surely, that the aura of command is part illusion, that she cannot control every factor of every scenario she encounters.

Sintina has a fresh start on a new ship and a chance to become the kind of captain her crew deserves. The story was a painful learning experience for her and the rest of the survivors, but one that may result in benefits in the long run.

I’m glad to see Windslow can finally settle into his niche. I like the fact that you’ve kept this character, a disgraced captain, and acknowledged coward and liar around. Many authors (if not most) would jettison such a character after the tale of his fall from grace had run its course. We now get to see what it’s like for him to rebuild his ties to his family and work through the pain and regret his earlier actions caused.

Bin Nadal will make a fantastic XO for Aurelia, but hopefully their familiarity with each other will not dampen his ability to give her his unvarnished opinion when it’s needed.

Poor, conflicted Jinal died a hero, and will be remembered as such. His crew will undoubtedly mourn his passing for a long time to come, Kimula especially.

Very nicely done.

 

[BrotherBenny]

Great stuff. I really like the way you handled the changeover to the new ship and the crew changes.

Jinal's, that brought a tear to my eye, seriously.

I'm looking forward to more. Just a couple of minor gripes though:

EPILOGE

Might wanna add a "U" after the G

She meant up with bin Nadal

Shouldn't this be "met"

 

[Dulak]

So much for sitting down for a light read. At least I got a little chuckle in the middle with the "someone's sending an OSO. Very trajic and moving. I can just see the end credits rolling with somber music in the background. Excellent work. Juat don't write too many like that OK...I'll need a bigger box of tissues.

Dulak

 

[Dnoth]

... I mean, the mistakes have been noted and changed. Thank you, sir.

 

[Dnoth]

Dulak said:
...don't write too many like that OK...I'll need a bigger box of tissues.

The next one won't be nearly as tear-jerking. The first episode of 2377 will be "The Machines of War." A Star Trek/Tranformers crossover...yes, you read that right. I know what you're thinking...

But hey, at least it's not Janeway and Paris turning into salamanders and having babies.

 

[Gibraltar]

Sin-ti-na! More than meets the eye! Ethan Winds-low... a coward in disguise!

 

[Dnoth]

...Nice.

 

[BrotherBenny]

You're gonna give the new Indy a pounding right out of the starting gate, aren'tcha?

Gotta love Trek.

 

[Dnoth]

^Maaybee.

I think before I start posting "The Machines of War," I'm going to go back and do a version 2 of my early stories. They desperately need it.

I do also want to thank everyone that reads and comments. It is very much appreciated. Thank you.

 

[DavidFalkayn]

A truly moving ending to a great, powerful, hard hitting story. I have to wonder what Jinal would have thought of how the crew chose to remember him--I have a funny feeling he would have been confused--but pleasantly so.

You did a great job with both characters and plot here. We get to see a maturation not just of Sintina, but also Bin Nadal and Windslow. Both Windslow and Sintina have learned to accept their limitations (or rather begin to in the case of Sintina--but we all have to start somewhere). Jinal's act of self-sacrifice was an incredibly moving one.

And Ross--in many ways I see him as a tragic figure--a good man becoming slowly corrupted.

Very nicely done.

 

[DarKush]

Dnoth,

You keep outdoing yourself, and throwing down the gauntlet for all of the United Trek members to step up their game.

This story was freaking awesome. You were very inventive in the use of the Indy, and it showed your grasp of starship mechanics.

Jinal's sacrifice was heartbreaking, esp. since this story did such a good job establishing him. I also felt bin Nadal's pain. He's the Security Chief and three people close to him have been lying to him, the most devastating was Nicole Chase.

Nice use of the Gibraltar and Juneau, adding depth to her as well. You definitely told a tremendous Indy tale while adding to the overall United Trek storyline. Bravo! Well done!

 

[BrotherBenny]

I can't help but agree.

I'm just waiting to see how long you have the new Indy before you beat it to a pulp.

 

[Mistral]

Dnoth,
I have mentioned before that I was not a fan of Sintina. This story shows her moving away(slightly) from that out-of-control attitude and I really liked it. Characters need to grow. I liked what you did and how you did it in this story. Well done, indeed! And the crossover was very well handled too.

 

[TheLoneRedshirt]

Bravo! Bravo! What a great story and great ending.

I must say, Captain Aurelia has grown on me. At first, she seemed way too cocky and stubborn for her age (much like a certain XO on the Bluefin ). Sintina has matured well, no doubt the hard the way. I'm pleased to see she has a new command with the Steamrunner-class Independence. Naming the lounge "Jinal's" was a very nice and poignant touch.

I read somewhere (can't recall) that the Steamrunner-class ships are somewhat quirky. Some crews love them, others hate them. Wish I could remember the reference. They do have a quirky design that (in my opinion) grows on you with time.

I'm very much looking forward to the next episode of "ST:Independence!"

 

[Dnoth]

Again, thank you all for the praise. ...It's doing wonders for my ego.

I didn't really care for steamrunners when I first saw them, either. You're right though, they tend to grow on you. I haven't run into that reference in my research, but that could serve as an interesting plot device later down the road.

...As far as liking Sintina, I didn't her when I first wrote her, either.