Splinters: Into the Novelverse

[Christopher]

A race that embraces their sexuality and has no trouble expressing it, is not a bad thing to portray especially against the so-far very buttoned up members of Starfleet, but their some of the opening scenes are borderline softcore pornography.

If "Justice" is "borderline softcore pornography," that's got to be an incredibly wide borderline. You've got people in skimpy outfits hugging the away team, jogging, dancing, and playing instruments, and there's one guy getting a massage from a couple of women. That's no racier than a typical Baywatch episode. I guess such scenes could be considered softcore if the participants were actually nude, but they're not. Standards were looser in 1987 than they'd been 20 years before, but nothing anywhere near softcore would have been permitted on commercial television, even in syndication.

However, as with many episodes at this early stage, there's just something not quite right, that maybe another draft would have caught.

In fact, the problem is that it had too many drafts. It was actually the first script written after "Farpoint" but got delayed due to multiple massive rewrites. I read an interview with John D.F. Black in a Starlog issue where he talked about his plans for this episode while it was still in development, and I was startled by how profoundly the story had mutated when I finally saw it onscreen. Memory Alpha summarizes it thusly:

"In Black's treatment, the colony of Llarof installed punishment zones to fight anarchy; however, the zones are now enforced to abide the law, but for only those who are deemed not immune to them. An Enterprise-D security guard, Officer Tenson, protecting two children while on shore leave, happens upon a crime scene, and is shot dead by the policeman Siwel, who is also killed by his partner Oitap on the spot, for misinterpreting his duty. In his first draft, Picard decides not to help the rebels led by Reneg who fight against this system of council member Trebor. Finally, it turns out the rebels install a similarly totalitarian regime when they gain power. In the second draft, the rebel leader, called Reneg is put on trial and executed for treason. Picard muses on the topic of people having their right to decide their own justice without interference."

So Black developed a dark, thoughtful story examining challenging ethical questions, but it was massively rewritten and changed into something virtually unrecognizable. For whatever reason, Roddenberry looked at this tense dystopian story and decided to make it the platform for his indulgence of all the sexy stuff he wasn't allowed to put into TOS. Presumably that's why Black chose to take his name off the script and use the "Ralph Wills" pseudonym.

I sense a pattern in the proper nouns there. Llarof is "for all" backward, as in "justice for all." Reneg inverts "Gene R," Trebor is obviously "Robert" (as in Justman?), and Siwel is "Lewis" (dunno). Oitap is "patio" backward, so maybe that's where Black did his writing. Interesting that he has "Reneg" at odds with "Trebor" and ending up executed. Some behind-the-scenes commentary there?

 

[Tiran O'Saurus]

Surely "Reneg" could be a pun on renegade, for a rebel leader?

 

[Christopher]

Surely "Reneg" could be a pun on renegade, for a rebel leader?

In context, though, with every other alien name in the outline being a common name or word written backward, I think this is surely the same. And it has precedent -- Eneg in TOS: "Patterns of Force" was named as an inversion of "Gene."

 

[bok2384]

If "Justice" is "borderline softcore pornography," that's got to be an incredibly wide borderline. You've got people in skimpy outfits hugging the away team, jogging, dancing, and playing instruments, and there's one guy getting a massage from a couple of women. That's no racier than a typical Baywatch episode. I guess such scenes could be considered softcore if the participants were actually nude, but they're not. Standards were looser in 1987 than they'd been 20 years before, but nothing anywhere near softcore would have been permitted on commercial television, even in syndication.




In fact, the problem is that it had too many drafts. It was actually the first script written after "Farpoint" but got delayed due to multiple massive rewrites. I read an interview with John D.F. Black in a Starlog issue where he talked about his plans for this episode while it was still in development, and I was startled by how profoundly the story had mutated when I finally saw it onscreen. Memory Alpha summarizes it thusly:

"In Black's treatment, the colony of Llarof installed punishment zones to fight anarchy; however, the zones are now enforced to abide the law, but for only those who are deemed not immune to them. An Enterprise-D security guard, Officer Tenson, protecting two children while on shore leave, happens upon a crime scene, and is shot dead by the policeman Siwel, who is also killed by his partner Oitap on the spot, for misinterpreting his duty. In his first draft, Picard decides not to help the rebels led by Reneg who fight against this system of council member Trebor. Finally, it turns out the rebels install a similarly totalitarian regime when they gain power. In the second draft, the rebel leader, called Reneg is put on trial and executed for treason. Picard muses on the topic of people having their right to decide their own justice without interference."

So Black developed a dark, thoughtful story examining challenging ethical questions, but it was massively rewritten and changed into something virtually unrecognizable. For whatever reason, Roddenberry looked at this tense dystopian story and decided to make it the platform for his indulgence of all the sexy stuff he wasn't allowed to put into TOS. Presumably that's why Black chose to take his name off the script and use the "Ralph Wills" pseudonym.

I sense a pattern in the proper nouns there. Llarof is "for all" backward, as in "justice for all." Reneg inverts "Gene R," Trebor is obviously "Robert" (as in Justman?), and Siwel is "Lewis" (dunno). Oitap is "patio" backward, so maybe that's where Black did his writing. Interesting that he has "Reneg" at odds with "Trebor" and ending up executed. Some behind-the-scenes commentary there?

I was being a tad hyperbolic with the borderline softcore pornography, if only to highlight unneccessary all that was to what could have been a more straight-up, thoughtful story that examined the consequences of the Prime Directive and could have been a great character piece for Wesley. As it is, that stuff severely weakens the Edo is a race of the week.

That original script by John D.F. Black sounds like it could have been a real standout episode and it's such a shame that this wasn't the script that went before the cameras. I can understand Gene's desire to do things that he couldn't do in the 60s, it's just a shame it comes at the detriment of what could have been some excellent stories. From what I've seen in the Chaos on the Bridge documentary, Gene was burning his bridges with all his old TOS compatriots at this point, especially D.C. Fontana and David Gerrold, and I can certainly see how Black could have been burnt by what happened with this story.

 

[Christopher]

I was being a tad hyperbolic with the borderline softcore pornography, if only to highlight unneccessary all that was to what could have been a more straight-up, thoughtful story that examined the consequences of the Prime Directive and could have been a great character piece for Wesley. As it is, that stuff severely weakens the Edo is a race of the week.

I have nothing against the idea of a culture that's open about sexuality (I've done a lot of exploration of the Deltans and Orions in my novels), but since it was an incidental element of a story that was about something entirely different, it came off as somewhat gratuitous. Although I guess that was supposed to be the point, to make them seem as innocent and appealing as possible so that it was a shocking contrast when their ruthless justice system was revealed.

 

[bok2384]

"The Battle"
Star Trek: The Next Generation (1x09 [110])
Stardate 41723.9 (2364)

Story by Larry Forrester
Teleplay by Herbert J. Wright

Original air date: November 16, 1987
Rewatched: April 3, 2024​

Summary
A Ferengi captain returns the abandoned Stargazer to its former captain, Jean-Luc Picard. Picard, who experiences severe headaches, begins to relive the "Battle of Maxia" in which he lost the ship.

Thoughts
One of Star Trek: The Next Generation's core strengths throughout its seven-year run was the commitment to having a different character have the focus of an episode, while still an ensemble show, it allows the audience to get to grips with the characters more and establish a deeper connection with them. Of course, having a different character carry a story each week is an absolute necessity when you're having to produce 26 hours of television a year. An actor will have an intense week on their spotlight episode, but will then have several weeks after that where they're just brought in for a few scenes. In my mind, these key character episodes have been something that has been lost in the modern age of television where series are now limited to 8 to 10 episodes and there is usually an overarcing story to adhere too. Sure, the main characters will still get the spotlight, but many other characters will be left as empty shells which the audience has little connection too.

Getting back on topic, "The Battle" serves as a spotlight on our captain, Jean-Luc Picard, and a move that was well-needed. Thus far, Picard has been portrayed as a no-nonsense starship commander who retains a formal distance from his crew and is uncomfortable with the presence of children aboard his ship. The only chink in Picard's armour has been his relationship with Beverly and Wesley Crusher and his guilt over the death of Jack Crusher but, besides from "Encounter at Farpoint" and a couple of references, the make-up of Picard as a character has been unexplored. With this story, however, we are introduced to Picard's former command, the Stargazer, which he was forced to abandon after a battle nine years earlier.

As the plot twists and turns, Picard, under the influence of DaiMon Bok's thought maker, experiences doubt and guilt as forged logs are discovered indicating that he opened fire on the previously unidentified Ferengi vessel. As well as all of these memories and self-doubts being generated is the constant headaches that beset him and really exposes his weaknesses to his crew, making him less of a pillar of virtue, but more a human being. Through hearing of the incident with the Stargazer it becomes a lot more obvious to why Picard was against having families aboard the Enterprise. Having had to evacuate an entire starship of serving officers and having to limp in shuttles for weeks before being rescued, would he really want that fate to fall on to civilians, especially children.

"The Battle" also sees the return of the Ferengi and they're definitely a huge improvement over their first appearance in "The Last Outpost". Starting with DaiMon Bok himself, he might come across as a borderline mustache-twirling villain with cutaways of him operating the thought maker, but the motivation of a grieving father out for revenge and what was actually a well-conceived plan gives him a free pass. First Officer Dezago is also another improvement, coming across as a conscientious first officer who strikes up an understanding with Riker and is ultimately responsible for stopping Bok from completing his nefarious scheme.

Overall, "The Battle" is possibly the strongest episode to date for me. An episode that highlights Picard and explores his past, but also sees him open up a bit more with his crew and share some vulnerability.

Next Destination
"Hide And Q"​