Song lyrics that if taken lieraly would be cool or bad

[Nowhere Man]

Ok this may be one of those things that sounded good in my head, but not good in reality. I have been listening to a lot of music lately and I was thinking about what it be like if we took the lyrics literally. My example: "they tell me of a pie up in the sky." So, that would be really cool don't you think? A giant pie in the sky that everyone could fly to and eat from. On a song that would be bad,"are there any queers in the theatre tonight, put them up against the wall." That would be bad to have all gay people nailed to a wall somehow. Ok, so maybe you get my drift. Any responses?

 

[Goliath]

Come on baby, light my fire
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire

"Oh, shit! Call 911! Fire! Fire!"

 

[Alidar Jarok]

I suppose I Am the Walrus would be bad if taken literally too

 

[Nowhere Man]

Come on baby, light my fire
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire

"Oh, shit! Call 911! Fire! Fire!"

 

[Thestral]

Lyrics taken literally you say? Methinks Billy Joel doth protest do much about the cause of arson.

 

[O'Dib]

Brilliant

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU-iT855OG8[/yt]

 

[Velocity]

Maggie May: All you did was wreck my bed and in the morning kick me in the head.

 

[Nowhere Man]

"Go ahead prepare yourself for the Rubber band Man." Yeah, i'd love to see a man made of rubber bands or one rubber band. Unfortunately for him, he would die easily.

 

[Nowhere Man]

Lyrics taken literally you say? Methinks Billy Joel doth protest do much about the cause of arson.

Prosecutor: Mr. Joel, isin't it true that you and your band did in fact start the fire?

Billy Joel: We didn't start the fire....ect.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

You gotta admit this would be a lot more interesting world than the one we got.


Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,
And she's gone.

Lucy in the sky with diamonds,
Lucy in the sky with diamonds,
Lucy in the sky with diamonds,
Ah... Ah...

Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain,
Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies.
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers,
That grow so incredibly high.

Newspaper taxis appear on the shore,
Waiting to take you away.
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds,
And you're gone.

Picture yourself on a train in a station,
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties.
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile,
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

 

[shivkala]

Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia Up in my bedroom (making love) I got up to wash my face When I come back to bed Someone's taken my place

I've wondered about this, seeing as how I'm assuming that the bathroom isn't that far from his bedroom. Somehow, Cecilia manages to have sex with a guy in his bedroom and then start having sex with another man in the same room as soon as the first guy gets up for a minute. I guess it's possible that it's his roommate, but still, damn Cecilia doesn't waste any time!

 

[6079SmithW]

It would be nice to make wishes out of airplanes in addition to shooting stars.

 

[CaptainStoner]

Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia Up in my bedroom (making love) I got up to wash my face When I come back to bed Someone's taken my place

I've wondered about this, seeing as how I'm assuming that the bathroom isn't that far from his bedroom. Somehow, Cecilia manages to have sex with a guy in his bedroom and then start having sex with another man in the same room as soon as the first guy gets up for a minute. I guess it's possible that it's his roommate, but still, damn Cecilia doesn't waste any time!

^ of interesting note about "Cecilia" is that St. Cecilia evolved into being the patroness of music. So the song is actually about inspiration or muse which Paul Simon is equating to a fickle lover.

How about some Bowie for literal interpretation:
...making love with his ego,
Ziggy sucked up into his mind,
like a leper messiah,
when the kids had killed the man,
I had to break up the band.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

I really did see the ghost of Elvis, on Union Avenue. I followed him up to the gates of Graceland, and I watched him walk right through. Now, security they did not see him.

I did though.

He looked well, aside from being dead.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Neil Diamond: 'I Am, I Said'

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair

If he's been having frequent conversations with furniture, he might very well be schizophrenic.

Warren Zevon: 'Werewolves Of London'

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's
Going to get himself a big dish of beef chow mein
Werewolves of London

These werewolf chaps seem quite reasonable. I can't imagine why they've gotten such a terrifying reputation.

Moxy Fruvous: 'Beware the Killer Tents'

The tents are coming, over the hill
We thought they were inanimate,
but now they're set to kill
At Falcon Ridge this summer
Somehow we've enraged the Falcon Gods
Tents have turned to creeping crawling body-snatching pods

Now is the winter of our pissed-off tent.

Fluke: 'Absurd'

King Kong, in Cannes, on a date with Spider-Man.
Dan Dare's sitting there, scared by the killer teddy bears.
Down town, Minnie Mouse is slippin' Micky's in the famous grouse,
while Big Bird spreads the word

Anybody with a heart votes love.

Judge Dredd, found dead, face down in Snoopy's bed.
Outside, Tweetie Pie's getting itchy on more supplies.
Meanwhile, Snow White gets ready for work tonight,
turning tricks with crystal tips.

Trying to make the best of it's absurd.

Puppy dogs and pussy cats in suspect suicide attacks.
Captain Kirk from Planet Earth, fights it out with Papa Smurf
Some phoney little ponies, preying on the old and lonely,
making friends, robbing them

The X-Men taught them everything.
Betty Boop, tired of life, took vows,
became a bride of Christ
While Tin Tin's been playing at Caesar's palace live on ice.
Babar Kumbayahs with the Mighty Morphin' movie stars,
as Big Bird spreads the word

Anybody with a heart votes love.

Other than the fact that everything small, cute, and furry seems determined to destroy man for his hubris, this actually seems pretty awesome.

Black Eyed Peas: 'My Humps'

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?

A hoarding elephant, an enabling love-struck camel, and a donkey in Levi's walk into a bar...

 

[Thestral]

"There's a place downtown
Where the freaks all come around
It's a hole in the wall
It's a dirty free-for-all

Wait. I think this one actually is literal for her life.

 

[Nowhere Man]

Smoke on the water,fire in the sky. That would be bad. I'm assuming water that has chemical polutant and the atmosphere bieng burned up some how.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Smoke on the water,fire in the sky. That would be bad. I'm assuming water that has chemical polutant and the atmosphere bieng burned up some how.

Yeah, and it would probably mean Galactus is on his way too.

 

[Flashover]

It's all or nothing

And nothing's all I ever get
Every time I turn it on
I burn it up and burn it out

It's always something
There's always something going wrong
That's the only guarantee
That's what this is all about

Keep this guy away from my machinery. In fact keep him away from ANYTHING mechanical. Fuck that, get him AWAY from the computer for cripes sake!!

 

[Holdfast]

Elvis Costello: "everyday I write the book" - dude must have sore fingers from all that typing.