Somethings you don't want to see...ever

[Joshua Howard]

Cleaning the urine of one of my customers off of the floor while working at Macy's comes to mind. It was from a woman who had a leaking urine bag which was dribbling from where it was stored on her wheelchair. A little kid also urinated on our spell checker scanner machine once, though I didn't personally have to oversee cleaning that one up. Sure, protocol said that we were supposed to call maintenance, but really... we couldn't just leave a puddle o' pee right there in front of the counter for 15 minutes... bad, bad for business, so I whipped out the paper towels and got the job done.

I also distinctly remember once when I was showcasing our high end bedding sets to a nice, good looking middle-aged, upper-middle-class-ish lady who was, all in all, well dressed and professional; but her blouse buttons had come undone without her knowledge... and I glanced down and noticed, and then I was trying to pretend that I hadn't noticed... but It didn't work, because she glanced down at her own apparel, became embarassed, and apologized. Her apology embarassed me further, so I hastily denied having noticed anything unusual, and continued trying to fein ignorance of the fact that her underwear had been showing moments earlier.

The OP's post, and the Kitten story are really messed up, as is this whole thread. Some of the stuff shared here is pretty darn hilarious.

 

[SmoothieX]

Once I was driving along a minor road in Vermont, and passed a woman walking with two of her children. One was in a stroller, the other was a little girl of perhaps 3.....stark naked. On the side of the road.

I lived in VT for a while. There was a quiet park a few miles from the office where I liked to eat lunch.

I drove all the way to the back of the parking lot and parked next to the passenger side of a pick up truck. The driver is in his seat, looking disconcerted about my arrival. Then I see a woman's head, immediately post facial, enter the field of view.

Then they took off real fast. Suddenly I was less appetized. At least I hadn't brough sausage for lunch...

 

[Cheapjack]

Kestra wouldn't believe you.

I once saw a dog get run over by a dustbin lorry. It went right over the dog's chest and pressed it to the road. It struggled and kicked and tried to live, and then it's eyes glazed over. It was medium sized dog.

 

[AstroSmurf]

You have bears tromping around on your porch at night like squirrels? That sounds like some post-Apocalyptic nature-strikes-back movie.

Not really. That is common place around here. But I can see why some of you city folk might find it a little scary... or weird.



And just for the record, I can trump all the halved kitten and mouse stories by telling about the time I found the murdered cab driver with the top of his head missing. But I am not.

I could tell you kids about this guy who used to work for my dad who accidentally buried a chainsaw up in the left side of his face. My mom rode with them to the hospital with her fingers buried up the second knuckle trying to plug the hole so he didn't bleed out. It was the first time I ever saw the inside of someone's head.

 

[RJDiogenes]

You have bears tromping around on your porch at night like squirrels? That sounds like some post-Apocalyptic nature-strikes-back movie.

Not really. That is common place around here. But I can see why some of you city folk might find it a little scary... or weird.

One of the reasons I'd love to live out in the country is so I can sleep out in the backyard in the Summer-- bears prowling around looking for good eatin' kind of puts a damper on my enthusiasm.

 

[Kestra]

Kestra wouldn't believe you.

I tend to believe most people, actually. I try to keep a healthy dose of skepticism but I'm more often willing to believe people than not.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kestra wouldn't believe you.

That sounds like a great idea for a threadbomb, actually.

As for this thread title: "Things you people wouldn't believe".

 

[Cheapjack]

Back to the OP... It could have been worse, it could have been the teen girl watching, while....I won't go any further...

 

[SeerSGB]

You have bears tromping around on your porch at night like squirrels? That sounds like some post-Apocalyptic nature-strikes-back movie.

Not really. That is common place around here. But I can see why some of you city folk might find it a little scary... or weird.



And just for the record, I can trump all the halved kitten and mouse stories by telling about the time I found the murdered cab driver with the top of his head missing. But I am not.

I could tell you kids about this guy who used to work for my dad who accidentally buried a chainsaw up in the left side of his face. My mom rode with them to the hospital with her fingers buried up the second knuckle trying to plug the hole so he didn't bleed out. It was the first time I ever saw the inside of someone's head.

Ha, I'll raise your chainsaw to the face and raise you a burned to death neighbor and a headless driver.

-- Years back our neighbor was clearing his fields and had a heart-attack, fell into the fire, and some how managed to drag his burning body out of the fire and propped himself up against the side of his pick up truck. Smoldering dead neighbor with his back against his pick up is not really a sight or smell your forget.

-- When I was working for the paper covered an accident where some dumbass teen try to zip his little sports car under a tractor-trailer truck. His buddy was busted up but lived (that's how the cops knew what happened), but the driver got his head took off by the lower edge of the trailer.

 

[scotpens]

-- When I was working for the paper covered an accident where some dumbass teen try to zip his little sports car under a tractor-trailer truck. His buddy was busted up but lived (that's how the cops knew what happened), but the driver got his head took off by the lower edge of the trailer.

Was the car a convertible? I can see the headline: HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS CAR.

(Okay, it's sick, but someone had to say it.)

 

[Holdfast]

-- When I was working for the paper covered an accident where some dumbass teen try to zip his little sports car under a tractor-trailer truck. His buddy was busted up but lived (that's how the cops knew what happened), but the driver got his head took off by the lower edge of the trailer.

Was the car a convertible? I can see the headline: HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS CAR.

(Okay, it's sick, but someone had to say it.)

You clearly prefer broadsheet newspapers.

My tabloid soul would opt for: SOFT TOP MOP CROP

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ Don't give the NY Post any ideas..

 

[F. King Daniel]

I can't believe I forgot this one: My leg bone. Without the need for an xray.

I was about 9 or 10, walking along a low wall of a neighbours home. Problem was, the top of the large brick post at the end of the wall had broken off, and the idiots had just balanced it there. I went to stand on it, it had other ideas and I was suddenly on the ground screaming like any other 9-year old who'd just had an agressive gravity/slab/leg interaction would. Popped my leg wide open. Since it didn't bleed at first, I had a nice terrifying look at my leg bone (which wasn't broken, thankfully). Hospital. Inept stitch job (I was later told I really should have had internal stitches too). I have a cool 4" scar on the inside of my left leg, just above the ankle.

 

[Kirby]

^^^ That's horrible. My worst story pales in comparison to all of these, so I won't even try.

I will still never forget the Joe Theisman injury on Monday Night Football back in 1985. I was watching at the time and they played it over, and over, and over and over.

 

[F. King Daniel]

^Mine was really horrible to go through (especially at that age), but I'd imagine it pales in comparison to a compound fracture or a chainsaw to the face.

I'm just glad to live in a time and place where such injuries can be treated effectively.