Some people!!!

[Miss Chicken]

A woman has just phoned me up. Her son, lets call him Paul, who is in his early 30s is a friend of my son, Adam, who is 28.

I know that Paul is an epileptic and has had a few bad episodes lately. He also has custody of his 7 years old daughter.

This woman, lets call her Jane, told me she wanted me to keep my son away from her son. She said that my son was encouraging her son to drink and it was illegal for my son to do so.

I said to her "Can you tell me exactly how my son is breaking the law? If he is I want to talk to my brother about it as my brother is a lawyer and I want to get advice from him"

The woman then changed the story and said it was there was a custody problem and it was best if my son didn't have contact with Paul because of it.

I said 'Could you get Paul or his lawyer to phone me and explain the situation to me?"

She then told me that Paul could die if he didn't stop drinking.

I asked her if my son was forcing alcohol down her son's throat or whether he was drinking it of his own accord? If he was drinking it of his own accord surely he could stop?

She then said that Paul had tried to tell my son not to come around and that she would have my son arrested for trespassing. Paul lives in his own apartment with his daughter not with his mother.

I said to the woman "If Paul phones up and tell me he doesn't want Adam there than I will speak to Adam about trespassing but I have to hear it from Paul that he doesn't want Adam in the house".

She kept getting angrier at me and told me I was being unreasonable and that she wanted me to stop Adam from visiting her son and also for me to stop Paul from visiting my place.

I said "I am not going to turn Paul away if he visits me."

I said that I didn't want to get involved in a friendship between two adult men.

Do you think that there is something wrong with this woman? Would you consider her behaviour normal for a mother of a grown son, even if he is an epileptic?

 

[O'Dib]

Holy fuck, you're a mom and you don't actually think like this as well?! Amazing! Yeah, some moms are controlling and obsessive, and they crack up when kids move out. Could it be a cultural thing as well?

 

[Miss Chicken]

They aren't of a different culture. I do know that her son is adopted but I don't know if that would mke her more controlling. She does have a natural younger daughter.

Her son told me she freaked out when he contacted his natural mother. He needed to do so to get family medical history from his natural family.

I have also been told by my son taht she also wants her grand-daughter not to have any contact with Paul's former girlfriend (i.e. the child's mother).

 

[The Borg Queen]

Do you think that there is something wrong with this woman? Would you consider her behaviour normal for a mother of a grown son, even if he is an epileptic?

Yes, and no. In that order.

The bitch is obviously a control freak.

 

[Amaris]

^ Agreed with TBQ. This woman has serious control issues.

 

[Miss Chicken]

^^^ What I didn't tell this woman is that, as a lawyer, my brother has mainly been involved in immigration law and probably wouldn't be able to give me much advice.

I also didn't tell her that I had quite a bit of knowledge about epilepsy. My best friend was an epileptic and she even died during a fit because she had an undiagnosed heart problem. I know that alcohol can affect epilepsy and at the epileptics should drink in moderation if they drink at all. I specifically asked her son about his drinking and he told me one or two cans was all he was meant to drink and that is all I have ever seen him drink at my place. He only comes down to my place on his and my son's payday and they buy a six-pack of beer and take most of the afternoon to drink it.

 

[Amaris]

^^^ What I didn't tell this woman is that, as a lawyer, my brother has mainly been involved in immigration law and probably wouldn't be able to give me much advice.

I also didn't tell her that I had quite a bit of knowledge about epilepsy. My best friend was an epilepsy and she even died during a fit because she had an undiagnosed heart oriblem. I know that alcohol can affect epilepsy and at the epileptics should drink in moderation if they drink at all. I specfically asked her son about his drinking and he told me one or two cans was all he was meant to drink and that is all I have ever seen him drink at my place. He only comes down to my place on his and my son's payday and they buy a six-pack of beer and take most of the afternoon to drink it.

Sounds to me like her son knows his limits, and your son knows his friend's limits, too. Things look fine to me. Looks like she should butt out and let her son live his life.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Sounds to me like she is frightened and overprotective, and rather emotionally unstable; I'd feel sorry for her rather than angry.

 

[Miss Chicken]

One thing that really annoys me is that this woman should not even have my phone number. My phone number is silent (unlisted, ex-directory) and therefore is not in the phone book and she cannot get it by phoning up directory help.

i think that less than 20 people have my phone number (excluding some businesses that do i.e my bank, my youngest son's work).

Her son I am sure didn't give her the number. The only thing I can think of is that she might have got it off his mobile phone.

 

[think]

Sounds to me like she is frightened and overprotective, and rather emotionally unstable; I'd feel sorry for her rather than angry.

it is rather sad the types of control that can exist ., remember the average person in "society" is totally out of their mind., unless drunk then they really are off the wall or worse..

*examines rocks in head* yep they are lost forever in the swirling perturbations of time/space.

good luck , don't think that if you care it will matter much to people but we would like to think it does.

I should not even of replied to this sorta soap opera LOL sorry for the extra two cents from my stash

 

[Amaris]

Sounds to me like she is frightened and overprotective, and rather emotionally unstable; I'd feel sorry for her rather than angry.

it is rather sad the types of control that can exist ., remember the average person in "society" is totally out of their mind., unless drunk then they really are off the wall or worse..

*examines rocks in head* yep they are lost forever in the swirling perturbations of time/space.

good luck , don't think that if you care it will matter much to people but we would like to think it does.

I should not even of replied to this sorta soap opera LOL sorry for the extra two cents from my stash

I agree. I think.

 

[John Picard]

She sounds like a typical mother from one the redneck States of the US. Yes, I am being 100% serious.

 

[KimMH]

My son is epileptic and I would be grateful beyond belief if he were able to make and maintain his own friendships upon reaching adulthood. (he has developmental issues too.)

Instead of a lawyer perhaps you should steer her in the direction of a good therapist for herself.

 

[scotpens]

Your son and "Paul" are both long past the age when their mothers should be telling them what to do, whom to invite to their own homes, what friends they can have, or how to live their lives in general.

This woman has major “issues.”

She sounds like a typical mother from one the redneck States of the US. Yes, I am being 100% serious.

That's a rather sweeping generalization. Aside from the question of which States are “redneck States,” do you have personal knowledge of such mothers?

 

[Miss Chicken]

Your son and "Paul" are both long past the age when their mothers should be telling them what to do, whom to invite to their own homes, what friends they can have, or how to live their lives in general.

This woman is even telling me who I should have in my own home. She wanted me to tell Paul that he could no longer visit us.

I kept telling her that I would not tell another adult how to run their lives and that included my sons and her son. I don't mind another adult asking for my advice but that is as far as I won't to get involved in other adults' lives.

I also know that she is also trying to stop another one of Paul's sons from seeing him and as far as I know the other friend rarely drinks but the mother says he is keeping her son up too late at night when he visits.

 

[Trekker4747]

The guy is in his 30s and his mommy is solving his problems for him? Sheesh.

And how severe is his epilepsy? My dad has epilepsy and he's perfectly fine and can drink when he wants to. They have medication for it.

The woman is a bitch. Write her off as one.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I know he has been hospitalised because of his epilepsy but I have never seen him have a fit and I don't think my son has either.

She said on the phone "If he doesn't stop drinking I will end up having to bury my son, how would you like to have to bury one of your sons?".

 

[JiNX-01]

One thing that really annoys me is that this woman should not even have my phone number. My phone number is silent (unlisted, ex-directory) and therefore is not in the phone book and she cannot get it by phoning up directory help.

i think that less than 20 people have my phone number (excluding some businesses that do i.e my bank, my youngest son's work).

Her son I am sure didn't give her the number. The only thing I can think of is that she might have got it off his mobile phone.

I take it there are laws prohibiting harassment by phone?
If she begins calling you persistantly, take notes and call the police. Emotionally disturbed or just plain cranky, she doesn't have the right to involve you and your son in whatever issues she is having with her adult and independent son.

 

[The Borg Queen]

I know he has been hospitalised because of his epilepsy but I have never seen him have a fit and I don't think my son has either.

She said on the phone "If he doesn't stop drinking I will end up having to bury my son, how would you like to have to bury one of your sons?".

"Make that threat again and I'll have you locked up."

 

[McCoy]

To me it just sounds like a mother worried about her son's physical well-being, overreacting to the fear. I don't think she's as bad as some are making her out to be.

ETA: Whoa sorry didn't notice how old this thread was.