So my Bubbie finally died

[propita]

Thanks, all of you!

To be perfectly honest, I have received more love and support in this thread alone than I have from Bubbie in 47 years of my life. Seriously! I’ve discussed her before on this board. I realize that she likely had some emotional/mental problems that resulted in her behavior (don’t most of us), but the pain she caused Mom her entire life? Totally unnecessary.

Anyway, it’s early Saturday morning. Hubby’s still asleep but we’ll be taking off soon for our 3-hour drive to LA. It’ll be nice to see Mom on Mother’s Day--I had already mailed off a card, as she doesn’t like gifts, but I think having the three of us together with her is a gift she’ll accept.

 

[Emher]

Hope you have a good day, and take care of your mother. She may never be free of the effect of her mother, but finally she's free from her in this life.

 

[Sector 7]

I think my grandmother loved us, but she never showed it. It is difficult when someone you instinctively love does not love you back. I hope your time with Mom and siblings will be joyous, regardless of the event.

As far as timing of the burial, if I remember my Jewish traditions correctly, she could not be buried on the Sabbath (Friday sundown to Saturday sundown) so a Sunday burial would still be in accordance to Jewish tradition. I am sure someone will correct me if I am in error.

 

[propita]

No, that's right.

We went out to lunch yesterday, and Mom asked us to go to bingo with her. So there's Mom, me, Brother, and Sister. Nobody winning a thing . . . until . . . at the very last raffle call . . . Mom wins a brand new iPad 1!!!!!!!!! We were all happy.

On the way to the car, I lost my footing at the edge of the sidewalk and went down hard. Never fell quite like that. I was helped up, but it took a few seconds to register that people were offering help. Banged the side of my knee, scraped and bruised one arm, and scraped the back of my other hand.

 

[Mutai Sho-Rin]

^ ^ ^ ^
Bubbie tripped you. One last smack from her fading ghost.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

No, that's right.

We went out to lunch yesterday, and Mom asked us to go to bingo with her. So there's Mom, me, Brother, and Sister. Nobody winning a thing . . . until . . . at the very last raffle call . . . Mom wins a brand new iPad 1!!!!!!!!! We were all happy.

On the way to the car, I lost my footing at the edge of the sidewalk and went down hard. Never fell quite like that. I was helped up, but it took a few seconds to register that people were offering help. Banged the side of my knee, scraped and bruised one arm, and scraped the back of my other hand.

^ ^ ^ ^
Bubbie tripped you. One last smack from her fading ghost.

And now the ghost has gone.
Glad you had a good day propita ~ sorry about the fall though!

 

[propita]

^ ^ ^ ^
Bubbie tripped you. One last smack from her fading ghost.

Ha ha. That's what we all joked. Then Mom tripped on a raised step at the little chapel. Went down hard. Seems ok but for her wrist.

Good to see some of my Cousins. General consensus was basically, "at last."

The WEIRDEST statements by the officiating rabbi. Talkedore about her father and brother-in-law, both scholars who had taught him, than her. And a comment that "her family may share certain thoughts about her but she was honest." Honest? I told a cousin that the rabbi seemed to have a hard time finding something nice to say. Cousin said something like "that's for sure." Here's hoping she found some peace and maybe some wisdom and/or understanding.

So all is done. Breakfast with Mom and Sister and back to Fresno. Mom seems so much more relaxed.

 

[RJDiogenes]

The major source of stress has been removed from her life. Hopefully she will be able to enjoy everything more now.

 

[propita]

Just found out Mom broke her wrist.

I think Bubbie was a Balrog.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

I can understand your mother's being more relaxed now -- I was after my own mother's death, too. I'm just sorry to hear she broke her wrist. Glad the day otherwise turned out as well as possible.

 

[Captain_Nick]

It’s really sad. I think it’s also really sad that no one is really upset to see her go. What a lousy way to be remembered, you know? No one to cry from missing you. No one. God, what an unhappy life! And she could have had (and was repeatedly offered) love from her child, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She wouldn’t--or by that time couldn’t--accept it.

That is sad. You even acknowledge it so. Yet you choose not to mourn the woman's passing. I don't understand this. I feel sadness right now, and I don't even know her ...

 

[propita]

It’s sad that no one feels they loved her enough to mourn. I also didn’t love her enough to mourn. I pity her, but that is not mourning.

At the funeral, a lot of Mom’s cousins in the area (most of them) turned out--more to provide support for Mom. They all commented how wonderful Mom was to have tried her best all these years. Mom--at 76 years of age--would drive 20+ miles into LA (you have to know LA traffic to get that) and into Hollywood, 2-3 times/month, to take Bubbie to shop and to her banks. Bubbie would usually publicly berate Mom at these places, in a loud voice. The people were all nice to Mom, though, realizing the situation.

We’re not “celebrating” her death, more taking a deep breath after a trying situation is over, but we’re also not sad to see her gone.

 

[RJDiogenes]

It's sad how some people waste their lives like that. I agree that your Mom is a wonderful person, though; her patience and kindness went above and beyond.