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Silly Summaries of TNG Episodes

First Contact.

A hideously mutilated Commander Riker is sexually assaulted by an overzealous groupie named Lillith.
 
Rightful Heir: Worf gets religion and is nearly duped by some shady priests into starting yet another Klingon civil war.
 
"Parallels"

Too Many Worfs.



"The Most Toys"

Saul Rubinek tries to add Data to Warehouse 13.


"Ensign Ro"

They see me rollin', they hatin'...
 
"Masks"

The Enterprise crew tries LARPing. It goes badly.

"Descent"

Data works out his anger issues with his brother's help. Crusher leads the junior officers on a team-building exercise in a sunny location. Geordi gets a headache.
 
Cause and Effect
The Enterprise gets destroyed! And again. And again. And again. Until it isn't.

The game
Troy gets off on chocolate. Nefarious Aliens introduce 24th century variant of mobile phone addiction. Wonderboy Wesley saves the day.

(Almost a shame Alice is VOY, I've never forgotten one of Jim Wrights recaptures: "Brain Sucking Slut-Shuttle from Another Dimension!!")
 
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First Contact

Asimov gets ripped off for his concept of the planet Trantor. The Enterprise follows Luke's light saber training ball into the past. Geordi learns 20th/21st Century slang for "Urination." Lieutenant Barclay builds a copper still in the Wild. Steppenwolf gets its 15 minutes of latter 21st Century fame. Picard shows his "Phallic" side to Data and Troi; "...oh, yes...". Zefram Cochrane names his Warp Ship after Dumbledore's bird, and quotes the best line from "All That Jazz". Cochrane teaches the Vulcans how to drink Tequila and joins them later in Naked Lawn Dancing. (deleted scene)

- Disclaimer~~I really like First Contact! -
 
The Inner Light

Captain Picard stretches out on the floor of the bridge for a well deserved nap.



Picard: "Spoon me."
 
Encounter at Farpoint

Picard flies the Ent-D almost in a wall several times on his very first mission as her captain, and still dares to give pompous lectures to its owner, which turns to be an omnipotent being. Troi has a thing going for giant jellyfish in space.

Man of the people

It's okay to judge women solely on their appearance. The more vicious their character, the older they'll look.
 
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The Survivors

Deanna relaxs in her quarters, listening to music.

Code Of Honor

An important lesson in diversity, it okay for all the inhabitants of a planet to be the same color ...

... except if they're Black.
 
Code Of Honor:

All aliens with dark skin are patriarchal rapists who propose marriage Borat-style.

Relics:

Hey, it's Scotty! Tune in this week and see Scotty!
 
Too Short A Season

Aging Admiral returns for one last mission.

Guest starring Clayton Rohner as William Shatner.
 
Data's Day

Data lives his day to day life blithely unaware that a Romulan spy is on the Enterprise stealing everybody's secrets and gets away with it. Don't be too disappointed, we get a wedding at the end of it. The Romulans send a bottle of their famous ale to the happy couple.

The Mind's Eye

The Romulans invite Geordi La Forge to an all-expenses-paid trip to brainwashing camp. With the help of a gluttonous Klingon ambassador, Geordi attempts to show off his new shooting skills to a belligerent Klingon governor but Data spoils the fun. The Klingon ambassador gets an all-expenses-paid trip to Rura Pente.

The Drumhead

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Admiral Norah Satie wants to know and she'll tear apart the Enterprise and destroy anyone who gets in her way to find out!
 
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