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Should Kirk be a vampire in the next movie?

Just for a moment, I forgot how adamant I am against TOS rehashes in the new timeline & thought you may be on to something. Just for a moment you had me thinking a modern-day version of the "Salt Vampire" story might work.

However, it would still only be a rehash of something done already, and I am against them in this timeline so I have to pass. Nice try though. :)

Waitforit!! Instead of -salt- sucking, the alien sucks away Kirk's MOJO! And he has to fight his way through the rest of his movie without it! And then we find out the guy behind it all is actually Keenser, who has cloned himself... but sadly, he used too much material, so now has a taller version of himself who he calls Mega Me.
 
But vampires and penguins aren't mortal enemies. Everyone would be confused as to why vampire Kirk and the penguins aren't getting along better.


Jason
 
You are a visionary and a patriot. I'm with you.

I haven't read a plot idea that solid since BACKDOOR BITCHES 19. Kudos.


Thank you my friends.
My fan script is already in the mail. If they don't accept it and do their own thing for XII I vow to hate it and bash it with every fiber of my being.
Before I see it and after I see it multiple times.

Did you make sure to include cameos by all the other characters from all the other Star Trek series?
 
I haven't read a plot idea that solid since BACKDOOR BITCHES 19. Kudos.


Thank you my friends.
My fan script is already in the mail. If they don't accept it and do their own thing for XII I vow to hate it and bash it with every fiber of my being.
Before I see it and after I see it multiple times.

Did you make sure to include cameos by all the other characters from all the other Star Trek series?

Are you kidding ? Of course I did.

I've even attached a checklist several pages long listing phrases, characters and situations from all past Trek shows and movies that should be mentioned on screen at least once.

I'm aiming for an 11 hour running time for this baby. So make sure you empty your bladders.
 
But vampires and penguins aren't mortal enemies. Everyone would be confused as to why vampire Kirk and the penguins aren't getting along better.


Jason

Clearly you have overlooked important details of the canon and created further inconsistancies. For shame. It is clearly established that in 2209 Starfleet intervened in the on-going conflict between the Penguin Imperium and the Interstellar Coalition of Vampires.
 
It's not enough to simply be a vampire...

....he also needs to be brooding.
And he needs to have long-ish hair (but shoulder length maximum).
And he needs to have a 2 or 3-day beard growth -- but not that dense stubble like Quinto; it needs to be that "boyish-not-quite-able-to-grow-a-full-beard" type of beard.
And he needs to have slightly feminine elf-like quality about his face.

The chicks go wild for brooding vampires with long hair and feminine/elfish features with a not-so-full three-day-growth beard.
 
Should Kirk be a vampire in the next movie? The real question is "Who shouldn't be a vampire in the next movie?" Several vampire clones of Kirk, a mirror universe Spock and a band of tribble-Gungan hybrids. Actually--who am I kidding---you may be onto something!

As ridiculous as it sounds--it's thinking outside the box (the boring box of recent trek)---it isn't a bad idea. FUN should be the order of the day---and darnit---if Kirk vampires sound like fun---DO IT!
 
Thank you my friends.
My fan script is already in the mail. If they don't accept it and do their own thing for XII I vow to hate it and bash it with every fiber of my being.
Before I see it and after I see it multiple times.

Did you make sure to include cameos by all the other characters from all the other Star Trek series?

Are you kidding ? Of course I did.

I've even attached a checklist several pages long listing phrases, characters and situations from all past Trek shows and movies that should be mentioned on screen at least once.

I'm aiming for an 11 hour running time for this baby. So make sure you empty your bladders.

And lesbians?

Will hot lesbian action be well-represented in this unquestionable masterpiece?
 
Did you make sure to include cameos by all the other characters from all the other Star Trek series?

Are you kidding ? Of course I did.

I've even attached a checklist several pages long listing phrases, characters and situations from all past Trek shows and movies that should be mentioned on screen at least once.

I'm aiming for an 11 hour running time for this baby. So make sure you empty your bladders.

And lesbians?

Will hot lesbian action be well-represented in this unquestionable masterpiece?

I'm sorry. No lesbians or any other sexual activity of any kind.
Such things tend to scare and confuse the hardcore fanbase and I don't want to alienate them.

There will be lots of morality lessons in the movie though. Some of it related to safe sex and the importance of the missionary position.
This will be a cerebral Trek as Gene himself always intended.
 
Has there ever been a film about vampire astronauts? Are they able to stay awake continually in deep space? How do they function when approaching a star? Are they forced to remain on the night side of any planet?
 
Has there ever been a film about vampire astronauts? Are they able to stay awake continually in deep space? How do they function when approaching a star? Are they forced to remain on the night side of any planet?

"Lifeforce". Patrick Stewart has a small supporting role in it. Space Vampires, floating in space in deep stasis. Oh, and here's a quirky bit of trivia. The score was the last movie score written by Henry Mancini!

Go figure. But I enjoyed the movie as a kid, and now its B qualities give me the giggles, so I can't take it seriously. But if you can leave your sensibilities at the door, you might enjoy a viewing. :)
 
Vampire's are pretty big right now and what better way to make sure the sequel ends up making us much money as the first movie. When Kirk isn't kicking ass on landing parties he sits in his darkly lit quarters wearing leather pants without a shirt on. He either is always angsting over the fact he is alone or reading Shaksphere to show the audience how deep and senstive he is despite his violent kick-assing he does on landing parties. If only he could meet a sexy but independent-minded teenager girl to give his life some meaning, which of course he does. :)

Teen girls will show up in droves to watch the new Trek if they do this in the new movie. Also make Vulcans the mortal enemy of the vampires so Kirk might be betrayed by Spock only to be saved by younge teenage Carol Marcus.


Jason
Riiiiight......:shifty:
 
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