Seperate bedrooms in relationship?

[auntiehill]

I am the world's most high maintainence sleeper. I have ear plugs, an eye mask, have to have the fan on (most of the year) and will wake up at the slightest touch. But it is nice to have that pillow talk, late at night, before you both fall asleep. I think it really helps to strengthen our relationship.

I adjusted my schedule to his, for the most part, and since I have so much trouble getting to sleep, will often go to bed before him, just to get a chance to settle in and relax.

I think learning to share a bedroom was one of the hardest parts of marriage, but it was worth it.

 

[RoJoHen]

You can always do what my parents do. They each fall asleep in separate rooms in front of their own TV shows (my mom falls asleep on the couch in the living room, while my dad falls asleep in his recliner in the basement). They each usually wake up around 3 or 4am to pee, and then they wander to their shared bed for the rest of the night.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I am the world's most high maintainence sleeper. I have ear plugs, an eye mask, have to have the fan on (most of the year) and will wake up at the slightest touch.

I am that picky as well! Except for the eye mask thing, although in my case I make up for it by having to have MUSIC playing. Specifically, this kind.

 

[Miss Chicken]

My biggest problem with sharing a bed when I was married is that he liked the electric blanket on high whereas I prefer no electric blanket at all. Even in the middle of winter I get hot quickly in bed and often only sleep with two thin blankets over me. If he had only his side of the electric blanket on it would quickly warm my side of the bed and I would start to overheat.

 

[clint g]

I for one would rather sleep in a bed by myself. My girlfriend disagrees though Im not the type to sleep alot, so when I DO go to bed, I really mean to go to bed. I want no obstacles between myself and sleep. Another body in my space is exactly that

 

[Pingfah]

Sleeping separately can just be a matter of the utmost practicality for some couples, there's no reason to assume it demonstrates any problems in the relationship.

Some people seem to think that because their relationship conforms to traditional cultural expectations and is apparently successful, that relationships that have a different dynamic are somehow faulty or inferior. I find that attitude to be myopic, and rather sad.

 

[Mark de Vries]

With me and my girlfriend it's mostly for practical reasons that we have separate beds. Well, that, and the fact that we haven't been together for more than two weeks yet...

But we're both working, often on different schedules, so usually one of us has to go to bed and get up far earlier than the other. We need our sleep: we're both teachers

But who knows, sometime in the future that may change.

 

[Nardpuncher]

I snore badly, so my girlfriend and I sleep separately.

Even our dogs won't sleep with me.

 

[CmdrAJD]

My wife and I have very different sleep patterns, keep different hours, and want things different temperatures. To solve this, we got a king-sized tempurpedic mattress, and she wears ear plugs (I snore occasionally). She also sleeps under the covers, while I tend to end up completely out of them.

As added protection, since I tend to flip and flop around in my sleep, she puts a barrel pillow between us when we're going to sleep so that I hit it in the middle of the night and not her. (It's a wise precaution. I had to share a hide-a-bed with a friend during a ski trip in high school, and I ended up punching him in the face in the middle of the night after a particularly violent flop.)

That covers us most nights, but I do spend nights in our guest room occasionally when she wants to stay up late watching TV or when she works on Saturday mornings and has to be up at 4:30AM.

 

[Kestra]

Even our dogs won't sleep with me.

That's sad.

 

[JarodRussell]

Even our dogs won't sleep with me.

That's sad.

It would be illegal anyway.

 

[Daneel]

For as long as I can remember, my parents have slept not only in separate bedrooms, but separate floors of the house -- my mom on the second level, in the main bedroom, and my dad in the basement. I remember mentioning this fact in an assignment I did in the second grade where we had to write about our home lives. My parents were not too thrilled with that...

They do this, I think, mainly because of my dad's snoring. I guess it works for them. There doesn't seem to be any major problems in their marriage, but I have to admit that romance and "the little things" have never appeared to play much of a role in their relationship, at least not from my perspective. I don't know, maybe they're just more private about that sort of thing, but I sometimes wonder if it's part of the reason that marriage has never looked that appealing to me.

As for myself, I've never actually slept with anyone in a non-platonic sense. On the rare occasion that I've been intimate with a lady, we both retired to our separate residences afterward. To be honest, I think I might have difficulty sharing a bed with someone: I really like my space, and right now, I tend to sprawl out across my queen-sized bed whenever I sleep. I think I probably roll around a lot at night too. Plus I keep weird hours. So yeah, if I ever do find myself in a serious relationship, the sleeping arrangements are going to be fun to figure out.

 

[auntiehill]

My biggest problem with sharing a bed when I was married is that he liked the electric blanket on high whereas I prefer no electric blanket at all. Even in the middle of winter I get hot quickly in bed and often only sleep with two thin blankets over me. If he had only his side of the electric blanket on it would quickly warm my side of the bed and I would start to overheat.

We solved that by getting two twin sets of blankets and sheets. That way, I can add a blanket on my side and he doesn't have to have on him at all.

 

[spinnerlys]

Though I don't have experience with separate bedrooms, a couple I know married last year and I was surprised, that they have separate bedrooms, though it is because she is a heavy snorer.

Shortly afterwards, I read the following article, though I faintly remember being on the BBC News website instead of the Telegraphs.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/lifestyle/5188822/Separate-bedrooms-keeps-the-romance-alive.html

 

[propita]

My parents had not slept with anyone prior to marriage. On their wedding night, Dad rolled over and whacked Mom right in the face with his hand.

The next night Mom rolled over in her sleep and whacked him back. She swears that she was asleep.

 

[wissaboo]

my husband is the worst snorer I've ever heard but I can't imagine not being in the same bed. I've just learned to sleep with earplugs.

 

[Brent]

I think it's stupid. I can't stand houses with more bathrooms than bedrooms.

I have literally slept with three friends this year, slept fine each time except once when the guy hogged the blanket and his room didn't have heat until May.

Share the bed, share the bedroom, share the bathroom, share the kitchen, share the living room, share your life. That's the point of a relationship, sharing, and caring.

As direct as this post is, I have to agree with the last paragraph, a relationship is about sharing.

 

[RoJoHen]

It doesn't need to be about sharing every little facet of your life. If you can't sleep with someone else in bed with you, you shouldn't have to just because you're in a relationship.

 

[zakfa]

There is no problem with this. I've been married for over 10 years and most of that time we've slept in separate bedrooms or two different beds in the same room. It just ended up that way because I kick and thrash a lot in my sleep and a light sleeper, while my wife is a heavy sleeper.

 

[Colonel Green]

It doesn't need to be about sharing every little facet of your life. If you can't sleep with someone else in bed with you, you shouldn't have to just because you're in a relationship.

Agreed. There is a lot more to a successful relationship than sleeping arrangements. My grandparents were married for 71 years but slept in separate rooms from the 1960s on. He was a very light sleeper and she made many trips to the washroom each night. I never knew two people who were more in love.