Seeking advice about prankster

[FPAlpha]

1) Talk to him in private (seems you did to no success)

2) Talk to him as a group

3) Involve superiors and make it official


These are about the steps i'd adhere to for almost all problems.. when you get to point 3 you have basically exhausted all possibilities to settle the problem without much public fuss and shouldn't beat yourself up about if he gets in real trouble with the superiors.

If he's that disruptive to the work environment your superiors need to act because if something happens (you damaging those cars for example and the investigation turns out the guy was a major disruption) it's their ass on the line too and judging from experience bossess don't take it lightly when you hang them out to dry.

 

[MacLeod]

This is your professional workplace, not a college dorm. His actions have the potential to affect the productivity of you and your fellow workers (if they have not already been affected). What if that dropped coffee had splashed on and soaked the files?

Coffee is usually served hot, so like any hot drink could cause an injury (slim chance I know but the cahnce is still there). If the colleague had a heart condition the fright they recieved could potentially in theroy cause a heart attack. Yes I know those are towards the extreme end of what could happen.

If he can't respect the fact that people don't want pranks pulled on him and cease in the activity once informed, then the only recourse might be a formal grievence. The only other way is to maybe get the Manager to speak to him and get them to instruct him to cease in these acts, and failure to comply will result in formal procedures. In essence a friendly warning.

 

[propita]

Document everything! Written statements, photos, etc.

Tell him, in no uncertain terms, to cut it out. If he does ANYTHING, go to HR, file a grievance with a COPY of your documentation. Tell them that something needs to be done as he is creating a hostile workplace, and that they now have actual notice of this employee's actions (along with the copy of the documentation). If he continues, he may be liable for civil lawsuit for assault IF his actions cause a reasonable apprehension of an imminent harmful or offensive touch--no actual contact is required, just an awareness of the possibility of contact.

Is this guy young and thinking he's still in school or something? Older, but immature and trying to "recapture his youth"? Just a passive-aggressive asshole or bully?

 

[rhubarbodendron]

He's 47 but apparently has never outgrown the school clown phase. I think most of all he's an attention whore. Maybe it'd help if we'd all ignore him completely for a few days.

Thanks for all the good advice! I'd never have thought I'd get so much feedback. Cool! =)
I love the shrink foil and jello suggestions I was already considering to paint his bottom with that special kind of laquer that shrinks when it dries (does anyone know what it's called in English? Aircraft dope??), but I think neither is a reasonable option (still one *can* dream... ).

Atm it looks like I'll have some field work with him on Wednesday. I'll try to have a word with him then. If that doesn't work I'll ask my colleagues to tell him as well. Maybe if a lot of people talk with him, he'll realize that he gets on everyone's nerves.
With regard to his family I'd like to delay official steps that would show up on his record for as long as possible. I'll set a deadline at Christmas. If he doesn't change till then, Santa will bring him a big junk of trouble with the management.

 

[B.J.]

The next time he pulls one of these super dangerous pranks, you should pop him one in the nose.

Friend of mine waaaaay back in high school tried to jump out and scare me as I was coming out of the bathroom. He found out (and my wife found out much later) that I have highly defensive reflex. He ended up with a fist square in the forehead before even I knew what was going on!

As for the prankster, I would have brought it up to the manager as soon as he started to be a nuisance. At least in my company, he'd have a chance to change his tune, and it would be anonymous on the part of his coworkers.

But something else that bothers me, is that I can see some of this behavior in people that have a mental condition like Asperger's, like my own son. He's not a prankster, but he does latch onto certain things and basically drives people crazy going on and on and on about one thing. Not only that, but he doesn't understand that some things he does go just a bit too far, and also seems to lack the ability to empathize with others, not understanding how it affects other people's feelings. And if we tell him to stop, he gets angry and really doesn't connect *why* we're telling him to stop. Sorry if that doesn't really help you, but just pointing out that there may be a bit more under the surface than is apparent.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

That's a very good point and there's no need at all to appologize. On the contrary, you are the first one to point out an alternative explanation we others all overlooked. I never thought of that option. I don't know him well enough but I shall ask the colleague who shares his office whether he noticed other aspects of exaggeratedly juvenile behaviour or anything else that's slightly besides normal behaviour patterns.

As for your son: he might misinterpret your attempts to stop him. I think he believes he's being attacked for being himself. Maybe you could try a different approach. How about telling him what he does really good and then hint that there might be details he could yet improve? Positive feedback sometimes just works better, especially with people who are young and insecure.
That he's unable to empatize is a very big problem, though.
Hmm, it's just an idea, but couldn't you use his feeling attacked as a foothold in your attempts to explain to him how others feel against him? As it's an emotion he has experienced himself, he might be able to grasp how the others feel.

I know what you mean about automatic response. I once whacked a colleague who was drunk and grabbed me from behind, unexpectedly. Purely on instinct (and 20 years martial arts training) I turned around, lashed out while turning and used the momentum to gain even more force in the blow. When I realized who it was I tried to stop, but all I could do was to open my fist and slow down somewhat. You could see my fingerprints on his face for a whole week LOL.

 

[B.J.]

As for your son: he might misinterpret your attempts to stop him. I think he believes he's being attacked for being himself. Maybe you could try a different approach. How about telling him what he does really good and then hint that there might be details he could yet improve? Positive feedback sometimes just works better, especially with people who are young and insecure.
That he's unable to empatize is a very big problem, though.
Hmm, it's just an idea, but couldn't you use his feeling attacked as a foothold in your attempts to explain to him how others feel against him? As it's an emotion he has experienced himself, he might be able to grasp how the others feel.

Oh, believe me, we've been down this and many other roads. Unfortunately there's no simple answer, especially when his emotions/anxiety take over and has a full-blown meltdown. (He's 12, BTW.) Right now it's a combination of (and I hate saying this) medications prescribed by a psychiatrist and seeing a psychologist to help him. It sounds worse than it is usually, since 90% of the time he's a perfectly normal middle-schooler. It's just the 10% that leaves us completely drained.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

ouch! 12 is a terrible age anyway. Both for those who have it and for those who have to watch it. The next years won't be easier either.
Are you sure the medication won't harm him? Those substances get tested on adults only and you can therefore never be sure about the correct dose for a child. Half the dose for an adult may have no effect at all but it might just as well kill. These prescriptions are a form of russian roulette. And the hormonal change might affect the drug's effect as well in a completely unpredictable way.

I'm sorry - this sounded pretty harsh, I think. It's not meant that way. I'm only worried.

 

[B.J.]

Well, as I said, the psychiatrist is the one that prescribes the medications, and we do have to adjust them from time to time. Our family doctor actually told us (many years ago) that we would need a psychiatrist for this since it's their specialty, plus our doctor wasn't comfortable prescribing these kinds of medications. I may not exactly like it, but he is noticeably better off with than without.

Believe me, when he was very young (he's our first-born), I was one of the parents that thought that medicating kids for ADHD and all sorts of other conditions was a load of BS. I very reluctantly went along with having him start seeing the psychiatrist and psychologist and getting medicated, mostly because he started having behavioral incidents in school. It's not perfect, but it does help him focus and keep his emotions in check a lot. He hasn't had any real problems at school in several years, and his behavior at home is a lot better.


Didn't mean to rerail your thread, just happened to notice some behavioral similarities that I'm particularly sensitive to now. Most people wouldn't be able to spot someone with conditions like that. It can be.... difficult, especially when, for whatever reason, my son has a complete and absolute meltdown in public, and people (even parents) glare at us thinking we're horrible parents or something, since by all other accounts he looks perfectly normal.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

It's no derailing at all, B.J. You pointed out a possibility we had all overlooked and that only you could spot, due to your personal experience.
My colleague seems perfectly normal again today. Maybe he does have some psychological condition that makes him behave like an ass at times. I'll try to diplomatically investigate that line.