If this is the case, why were Kirk and crew expected to retire in 2293 when the they weren't even at middle age? We've seen some really old people like McCoy and Jameson, but I never thought that it was the norm to live that long. They seemed like abberations...
Because
Star Trek is a fictional universe created by many different people, some of whom have had a better grasp of futurism than others.
In-universe, we could suppose that the retirement was merely from active duty -- people could live a long time, but couldn't be expected to maintain peak physical condition, sensory acuity, and so forth beyond age 70 or so. So you couldn't serve on the line beyond about that age, but could still serve at a desk job for decades thereafter. After all, the aged McCoy and Uhura are not described as being at all physically robust, although I think Admiral Chekov's portrayal may be inconsistent with that. And then there's Elias Vaughn. But perhaps there was a major breakthrough in geriatric science in the early 2300s.
I don't know, it doesn't ring true to me.
Nemesis and Vulcan's Soul depict "Remus" as a mineral rich world (of fire & ice) that's tidally locked with the system's star in its own separate orbit. It's the home of the mutated slaves known as "Remans."
The Rihannsu books describe Ch'Havran as a tidally locked moon of "Romulus" that's agriculturally rich and home to a segment of the Romulan population that's more or less (mostly less) equal in social standing to the rest of the Romulan citizenry.
Assumptions to the contrary aside, I don't think it's safe to say that "Remus" and Ch'Havran are the same place.
Regarding the Commander from "The Enterprise Incident". I'm sorry to disagree Christopher but I don't think you read the books very well.
Ael's niece, or Charvanek in the S&S books, was stripped of her name and exiled. rfmcdpei is quite correct in that once Ael rose to power as the Empress she expressed the desire to locate her niece and presumably restore her name and place in Rihansu society. Given the S&S books, it seems evident that she did.
Yeah, in both cases you can invent rationalizations after the fact. The point is that the
assumptions made by different authors over the decades have differed. Duane intended ch'Havran to be Remus; NEM invented a different and inconsistent interpretation of Remus. You can pretend they're two different worlds, but that's a fan handwave, not the original intent.
As for the Commander, she appeared or was referenced in many early novels with many contradictory fates -- either she'd weathered the cloaking-device incident with no real consequence (the
Phoenix novels), or she'd been executed (
Yesterday's Son, I believe), or she'd been stripped of her name and as good as dead by her culture's standards (Rihannsu), or she'd been demoted and worked her way back up through the ranks over decades (
Dwellers in the Crucible), or she'd somehow managed to become the secret praetor of the whole Romulan Empire (
Killing Time). My point is simply that Diane Duane did not intend or expect the Commander to have the future she was later established as having by Sherman & Shwartz, and that what she wrote about the Commander's fate was not meant to be consistent with something that hadn't been written yet when she wrote it. Any more than she thought of the Commander as "Charvanek," because the character was not given that name until 1999. (She was "Commander Charvon" in the
Phoenix novels, a name which Sherman & Shwartz adapted to modern Romulan naming conventions. She was "Thea" in
Killing Time. She was otherwise just the Commander.)