riders of the caption of the expanse
- Thread starter pookha
- Start date
If you think THIS moment in the Expanse is awkward, be glad you weren't in the captain's ready room when he tried to masturbate.
"We're the Slipnuts...slippin' on nuts...look at me now...I slipped on some nuts..."
That fateful day at the bar outside of Starfleet H.Q. in 2143 taught Archer a valuable lesson: learn to eat a jelly donut, and don't get mad at it for YOUR failure to do so.
"DAMN YOUR NEW ALIEN SKIN CONDITIONER, Malcolm!"
GOT MESS?
"I told T'Pol her damned Vulcan coffee would almost kill me!!"
Ruby: "You think I don't know the law? Wasn't it me who wrote it? And I say that this man has broken the law. Right or wrong, we had a deal. And the law says: bust a deal and face the wheel!"
T'Pol: "My eyes are up here, Lieutenant."
Archer: "Hmmmm, that's odd. My coffee usually doesn't start flying until after 0900."
"Ugh! Plot no make much sense. Planet weird. Corny, stilted concept of story make me want go up in tree...hurl nuts!"
"That does it.
No more Mexican Jumping Coffee Beans on this damned ship."
"Stop downloading Risan skin sites for FIVE minutes and pay attention to our current situation, Lieutenant! There will be time to give yourself carpal tunnel syndrome later...when you're off-duty!"