Real-life John Matrix

[Holdfast]

What a baller.

... Acting Sergeant Dipprasad Pun of the Royal Gurkha Rifles receives the Conspicuous Gallantry Cross for actions in Afghanistan during September 2010.

Sergeant Pun was on duty when he heard a clinking noise to the south [of his checkpoint]:

"I thought at first maybe it was a cow," he said, "but my suspicions soon built up, and I saw Taliban digging to lay down an IED in front of our gate."

Sergeant Pun single-handedly fought off an enemy attack of 15-20 insurgents. In the dark he tackled the enemy head-on as he moved around his position to fend off the attack from all sides.

For more than a quarter of an hour, alone on the roof, Acting Sgt Pun fought off an onslaught from rocket-propelled grenades and AK-47s.

In total, he fired more than 400 rounds (250 rounds from his general purpose machine gun (GPMG), and six magazines from his SA80 rifle), launched 17 grenades and detonated a Claymore mine.

In fact, such was the intensity of the fight, that Sergeant Pun fought off one attacker with a GPMG tripod, shouting in Nepalese 'Marchi Talai' - 'I will kill you', and even dropped a bag of sand on one insurgent trying to climb up to him.

I would have said that the only thing stopping him just short of true Matrix territory is the lack of a killer pun on dispatching the final Taliban. But I guess if you ARE a killer Pun, you don't even need that.

(potted summary based largely on this article, plus other sources)

 

[Deranged Nasat]

... But I guess if you ARE a killer Pun, you don't even need that.

Much groaning follows, I assure you.

I'm ashamed to say that reading through the article you quoted I didn't realize the potential for pun-fun with the Pun-pun until you used it there.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Sergeant Pun? Was it Neroon?

This is an incredible story. Now we need a team up between this guy and the SCUBA-rescue guy in Japan.

 

[Holdfast]

... But I guess if you ARE a killer Pun, you don't even need that.

Much groaning follows, I assure you.

I'm ashamed to say that reading through the article you quoted I didn't realize the potential for pun-fun with the Pun-pun until you used it there.

That's why they pay me the big bucks here. Wait a minute...

This is an incredible story. Now we need a team up between this guy and the SCUBA-rescue guy in Japan.

I was thinking that too. If Pun is John Matrix, and Akaiwa is John McClane, we just need someone to be Rocky and we have the trifecta.

 

[JarodRussell]

What a baller.

... Acting Sergeant Dipprasad Pun of the Royal Gurkha Rifles receives the Conspicuous Gallantry Cross for actions in Afghanistan during September 2010.

Sergeant Pun was on duty when he heard a clinking noise to the south [of his checkpoint]:

"I thought at first maybe it was a cow," he said, "but my suspicions soon built up, and I saw Taliban digging to lay down an IED in front of our gate."

Sergeant Pun single-handedly fought off an enemy attack of 15-20 insurgents. In the dark he tackled the enemy head-on as he moved around his position to fend off the attack from all sides.

For more than a quarter of an hour, alone on the roof, Acting Sgt Pun fought off an onslaught from rocket-propelled grenades and AK-47s.

In total, he fired more than 400 rounds (250 rounds from his general purpose machine gun (GPMG), and six magazines from his SA80 rifle), launched 17 grenades and detonated a Claymore mine.

In fact, such was the intensity of the fight, that Sergeant Pun fought off one attacker with a GPMG tripod, shouting in Nepalese 'Marchi Talai' - 'I will kill you', and even dropped a bag of sand on one insurgent trying to climb up to him.

I would have said that the only thing stopping him just short of true Matrix territory is the lack of a killer pun on dispatching the final Taliban. But I guess if you ARE a killer Pun, you don't even need that.

(potted summary based largely on this article, plus other sources)

Let off some steam, Taliban?

 

[Holdfast]

"I'm sand-ing you straight to Hell!" (while dropping the sandbag on the Taliban)

Best done in an Austrian rather than Nepalese accent, admittedly.

 

[STR]

^After reading that comment, out of the corner of my mind something shouted "McBAIN!"

 

[captcalhoun]

he deserves a place on cracked.com's 'real people who make Rambo look like a pussy' article.

why did he not pull his Kukri and knife the last one?!?!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

^After reading that comment, out of the corner of my mind something shouted "McBAIN!"

Were the Taliban in league with the Commie-Nazis?

 

[Holdfast]

^After reading that comment, out of the corner of my mind something shouted "McBAIN!"

"MENDOZAAAA!"

... why did he not pull his Kukri and knife the last one?!?!

Because he's too badass to need to use a blade when there's sand around.

 

[STR]

^After reading that comment, out of the corner of my mind something shouted "McBAIN!"

"MENDOZAAAA!"

Yep, they left that part out of the story, while Sgt. Pun survived unscathed, his partner (who was one day away from retirement) died during the battle. The partner (whose name I'll leave to the next person to come up with) will be buried with full honors, but won't get to enjoy his new boat.