Random Non-Controversial Bible Question

[Kestra]

If I'm doing a reading from "Ecclesiastes 4:9-12" how would I say that? I mean, the numbers refer to a chapter and verse or something like that, right? What's the proper way of saying that title?

 

[Vulcan Princess]

It depends on how formal I'm being. If I'm giving a sermon or teaching a class, I'll say "Ecclesiastes, chapter 4, verses 9 through 12". If it's just in casual conversation, I'll say "Ecclesiastes 4, 9 to 12".

 

[Kestra]

Okay, thanks. It's for a wedding so I would be using the formal version.

Goodness I'm nervous!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

That's a really cool verse selection, BTW:

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

 

[Kestra]

Yeah, I thought it was quite appropriate and not overdone.

 

[Amaris]

If I'm doing a reading from "Ecclesiastes 4:9-12" how would I say that? I mean, the numbers refer to a chapter and verse or something like that, right? What's the proper way of saying that title?

VulcanPrincess had a good way of saying it. Another way would be "Ecclesiastes, Chapter 4, verses 9 through 12". Although that might be too formal.

Anyhoo, great selection!


J.

 

[Hermiod]

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

But if I'm on my own I get to keep all the money for myself.

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

I can get up on my own just fine.

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Put a hoody on ? Central heating ? Nice cup of tea ? Play on my Xbox 360 for five minutes ?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

/picks up cricket bat.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Oh, rope, now we're talking!

Sorry, I'm just being silly.

 

[RoJoHen]

Great, the Bible just made me lonely.

 

[Kestra]

Sorry, I'm just being silly.

Just for that, I'm going to make you come to the wedding and sit through my mushy reading.

I have a knack for getting all the guests to cry, too. At my sister's wedding I started crying a bit during the reading and that set off my sister, my brother-in-law, all the bridesmaids, and then every female guest.

This is the one I read there. I think it's called "Union". I liked it a lot.

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with 'When we're married' and continued with 'I will and you will and we will'- those late night talks that included 'someday' and 'somehow' and 'maybe' - and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "You know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word." Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, "this- is my husband, this- is my wife."

 

[Hermiod]

Sorry, I'm just being silly.

Just for that, I'm going to make you come to the wedding and sit through my mushy reading.

I'm only coming it there's a bar.

Joey: Hey, I started working on what I'm going to say at the ceremony. Wanna hear it?
Monica, Chandler: Yeah.
Joey: We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share.
[Monica and Chandler look impressed]
Joey: It is a love based of giving and receiving as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have... and receive.
[later]
Joey: Okay, you guys, I've got a little more written... are you ready?
Chandler: Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Joey: When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I cannot help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving... and then I can't think of a good word for right here.
Monica: How bout receiving?
Joey: Yes!

 

[Kestra]

Stop mocking my livelihood!

Man I've totally derailed my own thread.

 

[Hermiod]

Stop mocking my livelihood!

Man I've totally derailed my own thread.

I will not rest until all professionals are as mocked as mine is!

 

[JustKate]

If I'm doing a reading from "Ecclesiastes 4:9-12" how would I say that? I mean, the numbers refer to a chapter and verse or something like that, right? What's the proper way of saying that title?

VulcanPrincess had a good way of saying it. Another way would be "Ecclesiastes, Chapter 4, verses 9 through 12". Although that might be too formal.

Anyhoo, great selection!

Ooh, it is a great selection!

All these suggestions are great, but what I prefer to do when I'm going to announce Bible readings (as opposed to writing the verses out) is use the most natural sounding sentence as possible. So I'd probably say "the fourth chapter of Ecclesiastes, verses 9 through 12." That's not how I'd write it, but it's how I'd say it.

 

[ThankQ]

That's a really cool verse selection, BTW:

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

A cord of "three" strands? Now I know where the Mormans have been getting their ideas....

 

[Maestro]

In some denominations, it's not necessary to give the chapter and verse number. If you're reading this in a Catholic service, then you only need say, "A reading from the book of Ecclesiastes" and leave it at that. You may wish to check with the President of the service.

 

[RJDiogenes]

If I ever am asked to speak at a wedding, I'm going to read from "Hermiod, Chapters 1-5."

 

[JonathonWally]

That's a really cool verse selection, BTW:

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Yes, it's a good one. If I ever get married though, I'm going with the classic

I Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

 

[Timby]

That was the reading at my wedding, JW.

 

[JustKate]

We used the Song of Songs 8, 6-7: "Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If one offered for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly scorned."

We asked our pastor for something a bit different...and this is what he came up with. I thought he did pretty well, actually - that's some fabulous imagery there. But you can't go wrong with 1 Corinthians, that's for sure.

 

[Hermiod]

If I ever am asked to speak at a wedding, I'm going to read from "Hermiod, Chapters 1-5."

Now there is a frakkin' scary set of wedding vows.

Use these:

Priest: Do you, <INSERT NAME HERE>, Ruler of the Universe take this Earthling, <INSERT NAME OF HUMAN FEMALE HERE> to be your Empress of the hour?

You: (pause) of the hour, Yes.

Priest: Do you promise to use her as you will?

You: (pause, then very slyly) Certainly!

Priest: Not to blast her into space?

You: (silence)

Priest: ....Until such time as you get the whim....?

You: I do.

(You may laugh but somebody I know actually did this, right down to the black wedding dress and the Queen version of the wedding march)