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Random characters' Kobayashi Maru

Deana Troi fails it umpteen times, but because her boyfriend is giving the exam, & keeps dropping hints, she gets to pass anyway
 
1. Harry Kim attempts the Kobayashi Maru:

Computer: "Error. You must hold at least hold the rank of Lieutenant to partake in the no-win scenario. Auto-failing. Please stand by..."

2. The Sisko attempts the Kobayashi Maru:

Rigs a nearby Romulan transport to explode. Kills entire crew. Enraged Romulans declare war on the Klingons. The ensuing galactic war between both powers kills billions.

Computer: "No-win scenario failed. You have managed to make a no-win scenario worse, which was not the objective."

3. Picard attempts the Kobayashi Maru:

Doesn't go higher than Yellow Alert. Attempts to hail Klingons [with the intention of having a thoughtful, intellectual discussion on inter-species conflict] 15 times. All hails ignored. Ship is destroyed without having fired a single shot.

Computer: "The objective is to survive for as long as possible. This is not the diplomacy simulator. Scenario failed."
 
Vreenak looks at the screen, says: "It' a FAAAAKE!!!" and then stomps off saying that he'll tell all the Romulan empire about it!

Benny looks at Vreenak and starts panting and rolling on the floor, shouting: "It's REAALLL!!! Because I created it!!! In my Mind!!!! It's REAAALLL!! You can't destroy an idea!!!...."
 
Funniest thread in the history of the forum.

Dr. Crusher: Starfleet and Klingons crews disappear one at a time until she is the only one left. Victory declared when the universe is comprised only of Beverly and the simulated bridge.
 
Just about anyone in 2364-2378 era:

Flies ship very close to a star, shoots surface of star with something, resulting eruption destroys pursuing ship.
 
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