Putting furniture together

[Mary Ann]

I assembled some flat pack bookcases for my kids. That was pretty easy.

What was not easy was assembling their bunk bed. The whole frame was steel, and it came completely disassembled. I thought, "this will take maybe 90 minutes." No, it took more like 5 hours, because everything had to be lined up just so or things wouldn't join correctly. That meant lots of loosening and tightening of various screws while I wiggled things around and tried to figure out what was out of alignment.

Whenever I have to move that thing, I'm only partially disassembling it, because fuck ever doing that again.

I draw the line at bunk beds. My older son has a raised bed with a desk, dresser and bookcase underneath, and it was worth every penny of the £75 I paid the nice man to assemble it when he delivered it. My son's bedroom is very small, but that was no problem for the nice man as he knew exactly what he was doing. I would have ended up chucking stuff out of the window in frustration.

 

[Green Shirt]

The thing I hate most about furniture assembly is the crappy quality screws and/or bolts they use. The heads often strip before I get them all the way in. And forget about taking them apart and reassembling them if you ever move.

 

[DonIago]

Bookshelves are easy, though it's easy enough to have a screw go in badly and start damaging the shelves if you're not careful.

I've put together a couple of futons. That was a bit more challenging, and putting them together single-handedly probably wasn't my brightest move ever.

My truly unmitigated act of ego, though, was putting together an L-shaped desk (with hutch that arrived a few days later). I was able to put it together in my bedroom and it's...mostly...functional, and I do love it. But how I'll ever get it out of my bedroom if I move is a question for the ages.

Also I never secured the bottom of the backboard of the hutch to the bottom of the desk, because I'd already put the desk into a corner, and I'd be damned if I was going to try moving that thing just to put in some (hopefully) unnecessary screws.

BTW, if you're going to put together a desk, I recommend not wearing white pants when you do so.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I have, on occasion, put together computer desks. It wasn't a pleasant experience, but I managed.

Never anything by IKEA, though. I'd probably kill myself in the attempt if I tried that.

 

[DonIago]

^Deliberately or accidentally?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ Probably a bit of both.

I don't know if I have the patience OR the doctorates necessary to understand IKEA instructions.

 

[Amaris]

I've assembled a few flat pack furniture over the years, and it's easy enough. And today's flat pack furniture is of a higher standard than it was years ago. Of course assembling flat pack furniture is one of the times you should definatly follow the assembly instructions.

In-struc-tions? I... don't understand.

 

[DonIago]

How about RTFM?

 

[Tora Ziyal]

I've put together a lot of flat pack type furniture. Rarely do I ever need the instructions, and most of the time I use 1/3 of the nails and screws packed for bookcases and such, and everything seems to work out all right. I don't usually have too much trouble when building, but when all else fails, I use my Allen wrench.

^

Wouldn't any kind of wrench you own be an Allen wrench?

 

[iguana_tonante]

Your kitchen table and chairs are part of the plumbing and wiring?

Well, obviously I was talking about sink and appliance cabinets, overhead lights, etc. I though that was obvious.

I don't tend to think of sinks and lights as "furniture," considering you don't sit on them, put your dishes on them prior to eating a meal, and they tend to be fixed to the wall or integrated in some other way, not something easily portable that you could pack up and move with.

Maybe it's just a language difference. I'm thinking of the word "fixtures," not "furniture," in the case of lights, plumbing, and so on.

To be honest, I wasn't aware that "furniture" had an implied meaning of being movable (as opposed to "fixtures"). So I guess I learned something from this particular conversation, which is a welcome change.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

If IKEA made instructions for everything.

@Tora: It's official, you win three internets.

 

[Amaris]

How about RTFM?

Just as a tip, initialisms that end in "FM" are always interpreted differently by me. Just saying.

I've put together a lot of flat pack type furniture. Rarely do I ever need the instructions, and most of the time I use 1/3 of the nails and screws packed for bookcases and such, and everything seems to work out all right. I don't usually have too much trouble when building, but when all else fails, I use my Allen wrench.

^

Wouldn't any kind of wrench you own be an Allen wrench?

Yes. Yes it would.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

@Tora: It's official, you win three internets.

Just for Allen wrench? Oh, Laser, your standards are slipping. But thank you.

 

[Amaris]

Stan-dards?

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Oh. Maybe not.

 

[Captain Ice]

What are "standards"?

Ikea furniture isn't too hard for me. Have not bought much from them as I generally don't care for many of the styles/colors they have. Last flat pack thing I put together was a coffee/end table set that took about an hour to get all the legs aligned on them.

 

[Sector 7]

If IKEA made instructions for everything.

@Tora: It's official, you win three internets.

I like this one from that site, too.

I have never purchased IKEA furniture. I, also, like putting things together, but with my health issues... I would rather pay someone to put it together for me.

 

[Naira]

I quite enjoy doing that. I am kind of perfectionist, so I prefer to do it myself because I have the patience to do it right and not rush things (ending up with mis-aligned stuff...)

 

[Peach Wookiee]

I've been able to get IKEA stuff fairly easily... so far...

 

[RoJoHen]

The nearest IKEA is two hours away, so I own zero things from IKEA.

I did put together a desk from Target, which was kind of a pain, but I ultimately got it done.