Public Bathrooms

[Nerdius Maximus]

I won't even drop a deuce in a public restroom if there's someone else in there, unless it's a dire emergency.. Also, I don't sit down unless it's really, really clean. I'll squat over it if I have to. Funny story, a couple years ago I went to a cracker barrel, had diarrhea, had to squat because it was filthy, and ended up spraying the foot of the guy in the next stall(one of those emergency exceptions) with shit. I got the hell out of there, because what can you do? "Hey, I'm sorry I shit on your foot." That conversation would be uncomfortable for everyone involved. Especially since he was wearing flip flops.

Cracker Barrel doesn't have "ass gasket" dispensers? Worst case, you can make your own with toilet paper

Absolutely not.

 

[Colonel Green]

I won't even drop a deuce in a public restroom if there's someone else in there, unless it's a dire emergency.. Also, I don't sit down unless it's really, really clean. I'll squat over it if I have to. Funny story, a couple years ago I went to a cracker barrel, had diarrhea, had to squat because it was filthy, and ended up spraying the foot of the guy in the next stall(one of those emergency exceptions) with shit. I got the hell out of there, because what can you do? "Hey, I'm sorry I shit on your foot." That conversation would be uncomfortable for everyone involved. Especially since he was wearing flip flops.

I have a similar story.

We were on our honeymoon in Italy, and I enjoyed a massive meal of exotic (for me) seafood one evening. We were headed to the train station very the next day when a dire need hit me. We ducked into the first cafe we could find and my wife ordered coffee while I headed to the washroom only to discover, to my horror, an old school in the floor squat toilet.

Since there was no question of finding another washroom in time, I positioned myself in what I figured was an appropriate stance and let fly. I was sadly unprepared for the amazingly large quantity of explosive diarrhea which overshot the toilet completely and showered both the floor and wall behind it.

As I exited the washroom, I found someone waiting patiently to use it. Nodding politely to the man, I crossed quickly to the table where my wife was sitting with two cups of espresso and said something to the effect of "We need to go, right now. When she began to object that we hadn't drank our coffee yet, I cut her off by grabbing her by the arm and dragging her, protesting, out the door.

 

[Starbreaker]

I don't go #2 in public places... yuck. Problem solved.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Sometimes though man, nature calls with a bullhorn.

 

[backstept]

I hate the auto-flush toilets . . . specifically the ones that decide to flush while you're still making a transaction.
Thanks, Mr. Toilet!

 

[Major Chord]

^I hate those. With a passion.

As a general rule, I never go #2 in a public loo unless I have no other options. If I can hold it, I do. I also rarely use urinals. If the stall is open, I'll use it, and close/lock the door behind me. Never has it occurred to me to leave the door unlocked or open. It was put there for a reason.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Sometimes though man, nature calls with a bullhorn.

Now THERE's a mental image I did not need.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

I have a similar story.

We were on our honeymoon in Italy, and I enjoyed a massive meal of exotic (for me) seafood one evening. We were headed to the train station very the next day when a dire need hit me. We ducked into the first cafe we could find and my wife ordered coffee while I headed to the washroom only to discover, to my horror, an old school in the floor squat toilet.

Since there was no question of finding another washroom in time, I positioned myself in what I figured was an appropriate stance and let fly. I was sadly unprepared for the amazingly large quantity of explosive diarrhea which overshot the toilet completely and showered both the floor and wall behind it.

We are going to start calling you "Colonel Brown".

Or maybe "Major Doodee" (vague Sam Peckipah reference)

 

[tomalak301]

Uh, yes I still lock the door, unless it's broken, which sucks.