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Project: Potemkin "Delivery"

P

Potemkin_Prod

Commodore
Commodore
We're pleased to announce that our fifth production, a vignette entitled "Delivery," has been posted to YouTube. This 5min 19sec vignette features Steve Gallant, Stephanie Burke and Jeffrey Green, was written by David Eversole, edited by Rick Foxx, and directed by Randy Landers.

The Potemkin has arrived at Harper's IV to investigate the loss of subspace communications with a new colony. Lt. Cmdr. Chuck Richards has beamed down with a landing party of five to determine what has happened...

You can view the episode here: http://youtu.be/cxsHHbEDAyM
 
I have no idea what I just watched. I couldnt understand what the Captain's last words were.
 
Please make it a teaser. That's what it feels like and there is a story there. I think an unused couple of stories from phase two at least, where they are not dead nor physically eaten but trapped never the less in this being's mind and it latches itself on to the Potemkin. Even if Grigori removes them from the creature, can he remove the creature from them? Conforming them all into an alien symbiotic collective that is stealing their identity or what have you.
 
Sorry, but that's not the story we chose to tell. We deliberately wanted to do a short, Twilight Zone-esque vignette, and leave the rest to the imagination of the viewers. Short, sweet, to the point.

BTW, your suggestions sound more like Russell Bates' "The Patient Parasites" which was first published in Star Trek: New Voyages 2 and is now a comic on Kail Tescar's excellent Animated Star Trek website: http://startrekanimated.com/tas_comic08_main.html
 
I tend to agree. I think this works well as it is, and while sure, there's plenty of scope to expand the story into a larger piece, I rather like it as a standalone.
 
There was a Phase II story similar to it, which is why I say I'd like to see more of the mystery and how it pans out. I don't remember the title of it.

BTW, Randy I'm sending you a story tommorrow. God only knows if it's been done before. Well, God and probably you. I'm gonna try to enclose a closing theme in it as well.
 
Make sure you include a disclaimer with it so we can look at it, Xortex.

Doug, you want me to say, "Crunchy, munchy, to the point" instead? :p

Intrepid, glad you liked it!
 
No disclaimer, just a release, which really doesn't you mean own it. Does it? I wrote with my approval, on it which really isn't that hard to come by. I approved of 'the Void' and everything you guys are doing so far. I'm sending it tomorrow.

Trek ran me over several times reexpressing my concepts which I guess they have all derivitive rights to do as per the release form that I signed. One of my stories I sent to Enterprise named 'The Price Of Peace' was the exact same story as Serenity complete with a telepathic Klingon and a calming agent x - amnion energy released by satillites to pacify the Klingons, but their message in the movie was that their lawyer would make that assassin look like a nice guy.
 
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Xortex, Sorry, yes, I meant release, and no, we will not claim your work as our property.

John, I'm glad you liked "Delivery!"
 
Thank you all so much for the feedback (and others, chime in by all means, pro/con, what-have-you).

Sincerely,

Sir Rhosis
 
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