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Pitch terrible ideas for episodes

Anal Probe (TOS) -- The enterprise encounters a flying saucer. Kirk raises shields, but the aliens in the flying saucer are able to abduct a sleeping chekov through the shields. They install an anal probe in his butt, in order to gather data about the Enterprise. They then return Chekov to his quarters, and he remembers nothing of the experience. The alien ship then leaves.

When Chekov wakes up, he starts having humungous uncontrollable farts. Every time he farts, the Enterprise shakes violently. Dr. McCoy examines Chekov and determines that an anal probe is the cause of his uncontrollable farts. Dr. McCoy tries to remove the anal probe, but has no luck.

As Dr. McCoy continues to try to remove the anal probe, Scotty informs Kirk that if Chekov's farts do not stop, they will tear the Enterprise apart. Just as the situation seems hopeless, the flying saucer reappears. Once again Kirk raises shileds, but the aliens on the flying saucer are able to once again abduct Chekov, who is this time aware of the incident. The aliens remove the anal probe from Chekov's butt, and then return him to the Enterprise. The alien ship then leaves.
 
"The Sterling Effect" DS9

While coming home from a mission the Defiant's engines develop gas and the ship crash lands, stranding Odo on a planet populated by intelligent apes.
 
"Pointless" - TNG

"The Enterprise D is called to a science station that has been attacked by romulans, picks up an psychotic El Aurian named Soran who is in league with the klingons and likes blowing things up. Picard talks to Guinan, thinks a lot, and STILL gets blown up by a poxy little bird of prey. Cue moral lesson."

Wait...i think ive seen this one before! :lol:
 
"Earth-Romulan War" TOS

The long-anticipated episode about the war which is told in flashbeck by Kirk when someone asks why Lt. Stiles is such an angry man.

A FTL Earth ship comes across a huge Romulan invasion fleet headed for Earth. It's determined the non-warp capable Romulan ships will reach their target in 87 years so Earth has PLENTY of time to prepare an overwhelming force to meet them.

After 24 years a fully prepared Earth gets tired of waiting for the Rommie fleet to reach them and warps out to engage them. The slow, lumbering snail-like Rommie ships are no match for the FTL Earth ships so it's basically a turkey shoot. The Earth ships just zip in and launch their nukes at warp speed giving their opponents no chance to launch theirs.

The only Earth casulty was one ship whose idiotic Captain Stiles accidentally crashed it into one of the crawling Romulan ships. The ignominy and shame of this incident would haunt the Stiles family for generations which explains why Kirk's Lt. Stiles was such an angry man.

Robert
 
TNG: Level Three Diagnostic (a six-part episode)

Lt. Grey takes us through the proper procedures for a Level Three Diagnostic on a Galaxy-class starship. Bonus footage includes Lt. Grey eating lunch.
 
"Star Trek: Titan"
"Here I Go -- Again On My Own."

(Follow-up to "The Outrageous Okona": TNG)

B4 attempts to re-examine Data's quest to be more Human as Geordi's downloaded personality files from the Enterprise-E (right before The Battle of The Bassen Rift,) -- developed from the instincts/experiences of the original Commander Data -- begin developing more definition.

Wesley, in non-corporeal form observes from a discreet distance within the 'Traveller' plane of existance.

Upon watching B4 research everthing that makes people laugh - examples of comedy from A & E Network's "Evening At The Improv" to Fox's "Mad-TV", Wesley transports down to the Titan, and deletes Joe Piscopo.

Wesley intentionally begins to good-naturedly spoof himself for B4's amusement, aware of Soong's emotion chip. Wesley begins taking good natured shots at his own character on the holodeck with a cameo appearance of Saturday Night Live's "Not Ready For Prime Time Players" as his TNG bridge crew.
 
CaptainStoner said:
TNG: Level Three Diagnostic (a six-part episode)

Lt. Grey takes us through the proper procedures for a Level Three Diagnostic on a Galaxy-class starship. Bonus footage includes Lt. Grey eating lunch.
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Ha Ha! I so haven't stopped laughing for like an hour!!
 
Kirk encounters a planet with true God-fearing people. First, he is sceptical, but in the end he sees the light. Then he converts the rest of his shipmates. Because crewing a starship is a sin, they destroy the Enterprise and continue living on the planet in poverty.
 
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Voyager

"Mirror"

Voyager is attracted by an anomly giving out unusual idiosomotic radiation that is causing their plasma manifolds to freeze meaning they can't leave.
If that wasn't bad enough, the radiation is creating a stable proto sub plasmic forcefield around the holodeck characters who are now able to leave the holodeck.
Hilarity and misunderstanding ensue as characters from a simulation of Voyager inside the holodeck escape onto the real Voyager. Who is real and who isn't?
The problem is fixed when the holographic B'Ellana sacrifices herself to shoot an anti-idiosomotic ray out the main deflector.
 
TOS - 'Silly Rabbit' - Gary 7 shows up and wants Kirk's help to stop an evil race of bunny rabbits from taking over the future. the evil rabbits attack Enterprise and turn everyone except Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Scotty into weird jello spheres.

TNG - 'Warp Factor Cool' - after Wes gets shot down by a young ensign Data and Geordi assist Wes in researching how to get women. during their research a strange space disturbance thingy starts making the three of them act like the Fonz. can Dr. Crusher cure them?

DS9 - 'Garak's Birthday' - Garak is depressed because its his birthday. Rom finds out and organizes a huge surprise party...which is also attended by five assassins bent on revenge! also, Quark tries to talk Dax into performing a strip tease at said birthday. Worf is angry!

Voy - 'Now You're Cooking' - after a cooking accident Nelix's dna gets mixed up with some strange fruit that starts to turn everyone into a Nelix. its up to the Doctor and Naomi Wildman to save the ship.

Ent - '47' - T'Pol can't sleep so she walks around the ship talking to everyone. thats it, thats the whole episode. thrill at 20 mins of Porthos walking around the ship! marvel as Phlox talks to his pets!
 
"Ent - '47' - T'Pol can't sleep so she walks around the ship talking to everyone. thats it, thats the whole episode. thrill at 20 mins of Porthos walking around the ship! marvel as Phlox talks to his pets!"

I can't be the only one who thinks this one has the potential to be strangely awesome. I'd take it over an anomaly of the week any day.
 
Pemmer Harge said:
"Ent - '47' - T'Pol can't sleep so she walks around the ship talking to everyone. thats it, thats the whole episode. thrill at 20 mins of Porthos walking around the ship! marvel as Phlox talks to his pets!"

I can't be the only one who thinks this one has the potential to be strangely awesome. I'd take it over an anomaly of the week any day.
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Yes, you are the only one.:guffaw:
 
Furtados_Feet said:
Delta Belle said:
Life Instead of Death [TNG]

The Enterprise meets a passenger transport carrying Sela, Tasha Yar’s half-Romulan daughter. After the failed attempt to invade Vulcan in “Unification”, the families of the 2,000 destroyed soldiers screamed for Sela’s head. She was spared then out of respect for her father, the renowned Romulan general. He died recently, bringing her enemies out of the woodwork and sending her fleeing for her life.

A Romulan warbird arrives, and Sub-Commander Rielle demands that Sela be returned to stand trial. She says that Sela won’t face the death penalty. As a show of good faith, Rielle invites Picard aboard to meet someone: a middle-aged Tasha Yar. Sela had lied when she told Picard her mother was executed.

Rielle then offers to exchange Yar for Sela. Picard is allowed to talk privately with Yar, who tells him that Rielle is Sela’s older half sister. Rielle’s mother was the Romulan general’s first wife, in a long-ago marriage of convenience which he never took seriously. He had ignored Rielle as well, but doted on Sela. The Romulans aren’t going to even try Sela. At Rielle’s suggestion, they’ve already sentenced her to life as a sex slave to the families of the dead soldiers.
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Erm, that would be effing awesome, this made me really miss TNG.
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Yeah, that would actually have been a great plot for a good episode. Unless I missed the joke or something.
 
A Matter of Gender (VOY)

A techobable anomoly causes Vonk to enter Pon Farr again. He devises a plan to modify Tuvok's chromosomes with the transporter and convert him to a female Vulcan. The Doctor restores Tuvok with the aid of some of Seven's nanoprobes.
 
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"So it's come to this"

Janeway, Seven and The Doctor are locked in a debate regarding Morality and an iPhone. Whether or not it should be allowed to continue to grow and develop or left to its own device. The Doctor advocates that it be allowed to evolve, Seven believes Borg Technology should be added to it and Janeway likes it just the way it is. Chakotay, Tuvok, Paris, Torres, Kim and Neelix get so sick of listening to the three of them that they lock them in the brig and throw away the key, and keep the iPhone for themselves.
 
BigC said:
DS9: Egg Nog?..

While trying to be One of the fellers at Star Fleet Academy. Nog becomes aquainted with Christmas and is repulsed at "giving" away gifts. Tensions mount when he charges for garland and fruitcakes.
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This is an excellent idea, and something that would have made a great episode! :bolian:

Delta Belle said:
Life Instead of Death [TNG]

The Enterprise meets a passenger transport carrying Sela, Tasha Yar’s half-Romulan daughter. After the failed attempt to invade Vulcan in “Unification”, the families of the 2,000 destroyed soldiers screamed for Sela’s head. She was spared then out of respect for her father, the renowned Romulan general. He died recently, bringing her enemies out of the woodwork and sending her fleeing for her life.

A Romulan warbird arrives, and Sub-Commander Rielle demands that Sela be returned to stand trial. She says that Sela won’t face the death penalty. As a show of good faith, Rielle invites Picard aboard to meet someone: a middle-aged Tasha Yar. Sela had lied when she told Picard her mother was executed.

Rielle then offers to exchange Yar for Sela. Picard is allowed to talk privately with Yar, who tells him that Rielle is Sela’s older half sister. Rielle’s mother was the Romulan general’s first wife, in a long-ago marriage of convenience which he never took seriously. He had ignored Rielle as well, but doted on Sela. The Romulans aren’t going to even try Sela. At Rielle’s suggestion, they’ve already sentenced her to life as a sex slave to the families of the dead soldiers.
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Another good idea - but how would Sela manage to serve 2000 families? :wtf:

My own latest contribution:

"Lol, My Dear Data"

Data, in his ongoing quest to understand humor, finds the old Lolcat databases from various 21st century Internet sites. He decides to experiment, so the next time he and Picard and various other Bridge officers go to the holodeck, Data makes their speech appear over their heads in cute thought/speech balloons - in the Impact font, but somewhat grammatically altered...
 
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