TOS: "The Logical Lounge"
45 minutes of Spock's best-loved harp/vocal performances, including a duet with Uhura, "I Got You Babe".
Pitch terrible ideas for episodes
- Thread starter Newspaper Taxi
- Start date
TOS: "The Logical Lounge"
45 minutes of Spock's best-loved harp/vocal performances, including a duet with Uhura, "I Got You Babe".
'Disneyworld' (TOS)
In the early 21st century a cargo craft carrying archived media disappears into a spatial anomaly whilst en route to the newly set up Mars colonies. Many years later Kirk and Spock discover a warring society which has modelled itself on the output from the Disney Channel, fighting against another society on the same planet which has modelled itself on output from Nickelodeon....
In the early 21st century a cargo craft carrying archived media disappears into a spatial anomaly whilst en route to the newly set up Mars colonies. Many years later Kirk and Spock discover a warring society which has modelled itself on the output from the Disney Channel, fighting against another society on the same planet which has modelled itself on output from Nickelodeon....
Orgy of Death
In the spectacular series finale of Voyager. The entire crew of Voyager have started killing each other. Watch ho everyone gets killed.
In the spectacular series finale of Voyager. The entire crew of Voyager have started killing each other. Watch ho everyone gets killed.
Ernest Goes To The Delta Quadrant
A fool from earth in the late 20th century falls through a rip in the time/space continium and ends up aboard the USS Voyager, 35,000 light years from Earth. Ernest make a big impact on the Voyager crew, literally as every bulkhead and conduit is dented by the crew slamming their heads into them out of frustration.
A fool from earth in the late 20th century falls through a rip in the time/space continium and ends up aboard the USS Voyager, 35,000 light years from Earth. Ernest make a big impact on the Voyager crew, literally as every bulkhead and conduit is dented by the crew slamming their heads into them out of frustration.
"...Larger Than Words." (VOY)
Voyager parks itself next to a planet and needs some supplies/medical help/technical help/reason to talk to them. It turns out, though, that the universal translator can't translate their speech as they do not have vocal chords and communicate only through dancing. After failing to communicate with them Janeway says she'd like to meet them in person. She puts Seven in charge of making a speech-to-dance translator, puts Paris in charge of the ship, then beams down with Chakotay, Kim, and Neelix (who claims he's a great dancer.) They get imprisoned for trespassing. Seven creates the translator program and installs it into EMH then sends the EMH to talk with them. What follows is a strange dance off with the EMH translating the other party's dances. But everybody's okay and has a laugh in the end.
"No Threshold Too Great" (VOY) (Mid-Season Four Series Finale.)
Paris can't stop thinking about the time he broke the Warp Ten barrier and evolved into a lizard and had sex with Janeway-Lizard. He knows that things can go wrong, but he keeps studying the things while enlisting Seven to do some genetics/evolution number crunching for him. She comes to him and says she thinks she's found a way to stop the evolution of his cells. They go for a test run and a couple of months later they haven't mutated so B'Lana installs a Warp-10 Drive onto the Voyager and they all warp home. After talking with their families they get back on Voyager and Janeway sets a course for the Andromeda galaxy...and off they go.
"Another Man's Shoes" (VOY)
The Voyager goes through a cloud of nebula that Tuvok notes has strange anomalies to it that are affecting their deflector dish. Everything flashes white for awhile but then the light dims to reveal the entire cast of The Next Generation on the Voyager's bridge with the VOY cast nowhere to be found. In the next scene Janeway and company inexplicably find themselves stuck on the Enterprise-E. Somehow the two crews switched ships! Uh-oh! After Worf and Picard get to fight some Hirogen they figure out a way to switch back and Janeway realizes she could decline and have her crew home...but duty calls, and the VOY crew returns to Voyager and the TNG to the Ent-E. The last scene of the episode shows a Paramount exec bawling as he looks at how much he had to pay to have all of these guest stars.
"A Marvelous Thing" (ENT-E)
Archer and Company get stranded on a planet of sentient Slinky-like aliens. One Slinky-oid tries to eat Porthos and so Archer tosses it down some stairs. This offends the Slinky people and so Archer realizes Slinky law dictates they have a competition to see who can reach the bottom of a mountain the fastest. Phlox loads him up with intense pain killers and he gigglingly slides straight to the bottom and wins the bet. He's then no longer a regular during the season as he's freaking seriously injured and so Erika Herendez takes off for the rest of the year.
Voyager parks itself next to a planet and needs some supplies/medical help/technical help/reason to talk to them. It turns out, though, that the universal translator can't translate their speech as they do not have vocal chords and communicate only through dancing. After failing to communicate with them Janeway says she'd like to meet them in person. She puts Seven in charge of making a speech-to-dance translator, puts Paris in charge of the ship, then beams down with Chakotay, Kim, and Neelix (who claims he's a great dancer.) They get imprisoned for trespassing. Seven creates the translator program and installs it into EMH then sends the EMH to talk with them. What follows is a strange dance off with the EMH translating the other party's dances. But everybody's okay and has a laugh in the end.
"No Threshold Too Great" (VOY) (Mid-Season Four Series Finale.)
Paris can't stop thinking about the time he broke the Warp Ten barrier and evolved into a lizard and had sex with Janeway-Lizard. He knows that things can go wrong, but he keeps studying the things while enlisting Seven to do some genetics/evolution number crunching for him. She comes to him and says she thinks she's found a way to stop the evolution of his cells. They go for a test run and a couple of months later they haven't mutated so B'Lana installs a Warp-10 Drive onto the Voyager and they all warp home. After talking with their families they get back on Voyager and Janeway sets a course for the Andromeda galaxy...and off they go.
"Another Man's Shoes" (VOY)
The Voyager goes through a cloud of nebula that Tuvok notes has strange anomalies to it that are affecting their deflector dish. Everything flashes white for awhile but then the light dims to reveal the entire cast of The Next Generation on the Voyager's bridge with the VOY cast nowhere to be found. In the next scene Janeway and company inexplicably find themselves stuck on the Enterprise-E. Somehow the two crews switched ships! Uh-oh! After Worf and Picard get to fight some Hirogen they figure out a way to switch back and Janeway realizes she could decline and have her crew home...but duty calls, and the VOY crew returns to Voyager and the TNG to the Ent-E. The last scene of the episode shows a Paramount exec bawling as he looks at how much he had to pay to have all of these guest stars.
"A Marvelous Thing" (ENT-E)
Archer and Company get stranded on a planet of sentient Slinky-like aliens. One Slinky-oid tries to eat Porthos and so Archer tosses it down some stairs. This offends the Slinky people and so Archer realizes Slinky law dictates they have a competition to see who can reach the bottom of a mountain the fastest. Phlox loads him up with intense pain killers and he gigglingly slides straight to the bottom and wins the bet. He's then no longer a regular during the season as he's freaking seriously injured and so Erika Herendez takes off for the rest of the year.
"A Pizzle of the Fizzle" (TOS)
The Enterprise discovers a world where, thanks to cultural contamination by an earlier ship, the inhabitants are imitating Earth's 'gangsta rapper' culture.
The Enterprise discovers a world where, thanks to cultural contamination by an earlier ship, the inhabitants are imitating Earth's 'gangsta rapper' culture.
"Patterns of Farce" (VOY)
Voyager heads for the planet Lamos to get extra deuterium.
While approaching the planet, the ship is attacked by an old-style chemical rocket with a warhead filled with a sign saying "bang".
Tom Paris indicates that its similar to what would happen in old Looney Toons cartoons, and Janeway - fearing cultural contamination and sensing a potential link to Earth, decides to investigate.
When they arrive, they find that the planet has become completly dominated by comedy - their culture is centered around trying to make each other laugh. And they discover the one responsible is none other than the hologram of Joe Piscopo from "The Outrageous Okona" (TNG), who was wisely jettisoned from the Enterprise not long after his activation by Guinan.
His drifted through space, until it was sucked into a black hole and crashlanded on Lamos, where he was discovered by the natives.
Meanwhile, a negative space wedgie disables Voyager's transporters and shuttlecraft, stranding the main characters. Can Janeway and Co. reason with the natives to convince them to help them get to Voyager? Or will Joe Piscopo have the last laugh?
"The Stupid Lame" (VOY)
In an attempt to find new ways to interrogate prisoners, the Hirogen capture the Voyager crew and force them to endure a holo-simulation of Twilight. Now the Voyager crew must find a way to resist this terrible torment, before their minds slip away in agony.
Voyager heads for the planet Lamos to get extra deuterium.
While approaching the planet, the ship is attacked by an old-style chemical rocket with a warhead filled with a sign saying "bang".
Tom Paris indicates that its similar to what would happen in old Looney Toons cartoons, and Janeway - fearing cultural contamination and sensing a potential link to Earth, decides to investigate.
When they arrive, they find that the planet has become completly dominated by comedy - their culture is centered around trying to make each other laugh. And they discover the one responsible is none other than the hologram of Joe Piscopo from "The Outrageous Okona" (TNG), who was wisely jettisoned from the Enterprise not long after his activation by Guinan.
His drifted through space, until it was sucked into a black hole and crashlanded on Lamos, where he was discovered by the natives.
Meanwhile, a negative space wedgie disables Voyager's transporters and shuttlecraft, stranding the main characters. Can Janeway and Co. reason with the natives to convince them to help them get to Voyager? Or will Joe Piscopo have the last laugh?
"The Stupid Lame" (VOY)
In an attempt to find new ways to interrogate prisoners, the Hirogen capture the Voyager crew and force them to endure a holo-simulation of Twilight. Now the Voyager crew must find a way to resist this terrible torment, before their minds slip away in agony.
I'm getting a "Loud as a Whisper" vibe off this one, and after seeing Robert Picardo perform live at a convention, I could almost see him pulling off something so zany.
Am I the only noticing how easy it is to write better ideas for Voyager scripts than what we got?
"Obvious Mid-Season Sweeps Crossover Episode" -VOY
Fed up with not having been promoted in over seven years, Ensign Kim replays "historical holodeck logs" of the Enterprise NX-01 to get advice from an unlikely source: Ensign Travis Mayweather. In a surprising B plot, a holographic Seska (Martha Hackett) has stolen the Doctor's mobile emitter and has joined forces with the Borg Queen to destroy Voyager. Guest starring Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis, just for the hell of it.
Fed up with not having been promoted in over seven years, Ensign Kim replays "historical holodeck logs" of the Enterprise NX-01 to get advice from an unlikely source: Ensign Travis Mayweather. In a surprising B plot, a holographic Seska (Martha Hackett) has stolen the Doctor's mobile emitter and has joined forces with the Borg Queen to destroy Voyager. Guest starring Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis, just for the hell of it.
Voyager, second season "Dr. Lucy"
The EMH starts to express interest in learning comedy so he can make jokes or tell amusing ancedotes during check ups Kess goes through the database and finds some I Love Lucy episodes and makes the doctor play Ricky on the holodeck when it malfunctions and he's stuck putting up with Lucy and Ethel's antics.
The EMH starts to express interest in learning comedy so he can make jokes or tell amusing ancedotes during check ups Kess goes through the database and finds some I Love Lucy episodes and makes the doctor play Ricky on the holodeck when it malfunctions and he's stuck putting up with Lucy and Ethel's antics.
DS9: Conjoined - After babysitting Molly for the O'Briens one evening, Ezri confides in Kira how much Jadzia would have enjoyed having a child with Worf. A Trill science officer comes to DS9 on temp assignment. The officer is a joined Trill whose symbiant was once joined with the child of one of Dax's past hosts. Old wounds are opened anew between "parent" and "child." A station wide catastrophe forces them to put their differences aside and work together. They resolve their differences and Ezri learns a little more about herself as a newly joined Trill.
Life Instead of Death [TNG]
The Enterprise meets a passenger transport carrying Sela, Tasha Yar’s half-Romulan daughter. After the failed attempt to invade Vulcan in “Unification”, the families of the 2,000 destroyed soldiers screamed for Sela’s head. She was spared then out of respect for her father, the renowned Romulan general. He died recently, bringing her enemies out of the woodwork and sending her fleeing for her life.
A Romulan warbird arrives, and Sub-Commander Rielle demands that Sela be returned to stand trial. She says that Sela won’t face the death penalty. As a show of good faith, Rielle invites Picard aboard to meet someone: a middle-aged Tasha Yar. Sela had lied when she told Picard her mother was executed.
Rielle then offers to exchange Yar for Sela. Picard is allowed to talk privately with Yar, who tells him that Rielle is Sela’s older half sister. Rielle’s mother was the Romulan general’s first wife, in a long-ago marriage of convenience which he never took seriously. He had ignored Rielle as well, but doted on Sela. The Romulans aren’t going to even try Sela. At Rielle’s suggestion, they’ve already sentenced her to life as a sex slave to the families of the dead soldiers.
The Enterprise meets a passenger transport carrying Sela, Tasha Yar’s half-Romulan daughter. After the failed attempt to invade Vulcan in “Unification”, the families of the 2,000 destroyed soldiers screamed for Sela’s head. She was spared then out of respect for her father, the renowned Romulan general. He died recently, bringing her enemies out of the woodwork and sending her fleeing for her life.
A Romulan warbird arrives, and Sub-Commander Rielle demands that Sela be returned to stand trial. She says that Sela won’t face the death penalty. As a show of good faith, Rielle invites Picard aboard to meet someone: a middle-aged Tasha Yar. Sela had lied when she told Picard her mother was executed.
Rielle then offers to exchange Yar for Sela. Picard is allowed to talk privately with Yar, who tells him that Rielle is Sela’s older half sister. Rielle’s mother was the Romulan general’s first wife, in a long-ago marriage of convenience which he never took seriously. He had ignored Rielle as well, but doted on Sela. The Romulans aren’t going to even try Sela. At Rielle’s suggestion, they’ve already sentenced her to life as a sex slave to the families of the dead soldiers.
"Addiction" (DS9)
Reg's holo-addiction has taken a turn for the worst. While seeking treatment on Earth, he escapes and makes it all the way to the outskirts of Federation space, hoping he can finally find peace. Making up some excuse to come onto the station, he soon locks himself in Quark's holo-suite and runs erotic simulations of Troi and Crusher without fear of judgement. After many hours, the crew wonders where he is, and attempts to break into the holo-suite. But upon entering, Miles and Julian must endure a whole host of holo-obstacles and games concocted by Reg (Sherlock Holmes or Shakespeare perhaps), before finally reaching him (in an embarrasing moment) and returning him to Earth.
http://www.buydvdezy.com
Reg's holo-addiction has taken a turn for the worst. While seeking treatment on Earth, he escapes and makes it all the way to the outskirts of Federation space, hoping he can finally find peace. Making up some excuse to come onto the station, he soon locks himself in Quark's holo-suite and runs erotic simulations of Troi and Crusher without fear of judgement. After many hours, the crew wonders where he is, and attempts to break into the holo-suite. But upon entering, Miles and Julian must endure a whole host of holo-obstacles and games concocted by Reg (Sherlock Holmes or Shakespeare perhaps), before finally reaching him (in an embarrasing moment) and returning him to Earth.
http://www.buydvdezy.com
"Disco Hotel" (TOS) – An alien race of John Travolta lookalikes hijacks the Enterprise. They takes it back to their home planet, and turn it into a Disco hotel. They pump disco music throughout the entire ship, and they turn the rec room into a discoteque a la Saturday Night Fever. They put the Enterprise crew to work as employees of the hotel, and force them to wear white polyester leisure suits. Eventually the Enerprise crew manage to regain control of the Enterprise, after a long bout of fisticuffs with the John Travolta lookalikes.
"Dance Dance Addiction" (Voy) – Tom Paris and Harry Kim become addicted to a holodeck version of Dance Dance Revolution. It causes them to neglect their crew responsibilities. When Janeway can’t convince them to stop playing the game, she threatens to shut down all power to the holodeck. The doctor urges Janeway to give him time to come up with a cure for Tom and Harry’s addiction. Janeway gives the doctor twenty-four hours to come up with a cure. The doctor tries serveral antidotes for the addiction, but none of his cures work. Eventually, the doctor realises why none of his cures are working, and at the eleventh hour comes up with a cure that should work. Just as he is about to administer the cure, Tom and Harry manage to beat Dance Dance Revolution, thus ending their addiction to the game.
"Dance Dance Addiction" (Voy) – Tom Paris and Harry Kim become addicted to a holodeck version of Dance Dance Revolution. It causes them to neglect their crew responsibilities. When Janeway can’t convince them to stop playing the game, she threatens to shut down all power to the holodeck. The doctor urges Janeway to give him time to come up with a cure for Tom and Harry’s addiction. Janeway gives the doctor twenty-four hours to come up with a cure. The doctor tries serveral antidotes for the addiction, but none of his cures work. Eventually, the doctor realises why none of his cures are working, and at the eleventh hour comes up with a cure that should work. Just as he is about to administer the cure, Tom and Harry manage to beat Dance Dance Revolution, thus ending their addiction to the game.
How about an all-nude, all-singing episode of Voyager?
It's not like anyone would watch anyway.
Bahahahahahahahahahaha.
I kid.
It's not like anyone would watch anyway.
Bahahahahahahahahahaha.
I kid.
"Seven Seconds"
Janeway, Torres, Kes and Seven return from a mission only to find Voyager frozen in time, linked with a Devore warship. Utilizing technology adapted from the Hanson's personal cloaks, they enter the time distortion and find the crew frozen in what appears to be a hostile Devore boarding raid.
While Janeway makes smiley faces in Neelix's cake frosting, Kes moves crewmen around in her own private version of their lives, disturbingly sexually deviant. Torres works on boosting the gain of the personal cloaks, while Seven scans engineering to find, hidden behind a panel, is an anomalous reading. She pries it open to discover that time has reversed only seven seconds, and is moving forward very slowly.
Then an Omega Plurality particle tells her it's hatching its eggs in the warp plasma, and that all this has happened before to the Enterprise D in Timescape.
In defiance Seven activates the anomaly to move time forward past the point of Voyager exploding, hearing the crew's cries of confusion waking up in Kes's sexual poses with their fellow crewmen, in the final seconds before total destruction.
Janeway, Torres, Kes and Seven return from a mission only to find Voyager frozen in time, linked with a Devore warship. Utilizing technology adapted from the Hanson's personal cloaks, they enter the time distortion and find the crew frozen in what appears to be a hostile Devore boarding raid.
While Janeway makes smiley faces in Neelix's cake frosting, Kes moves crewmen around in her own private version of their lives, disturbingly sexually deviant. Torres works on boosting the gain of the personal cloaks, while Seven scans engineering to find, hidden behind a panel, is an anomalous reading. She pries it open to discover that time has reversed only seven seconds, and is moving forward very slowly.
Then an Omega Plurality particle tells her it's hatching its eggs in the warp plasma, and that all this has happened before to the Enterprise D in Timescape.
In defiance Seven activates the anomaly to move time forward past the point of Voyager exploding, hearing the crew's cries of confusion waking up in Kes's sexual poses with their fellow crewmen, in the final seconds before total destruction.
Furtados_Feet
Lieutenant
Erm, that would be effing awesome, this made me really miss TNG.