Pitch terrible ideas for episodes
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"Tempus Fugitive" (VOY)
Neelix is being hunted through time by an insane bounty hunter with an obsession with margaritas and pizza. While on the run, he jump-starts the fad of mutton chops in Victorian-Era England and jump-starts Wolfgang Puck's career. Meanwhile, Icheb learns the value of teamwork and togetherness.
Neelix is being hunted through time by an insane bounty hunter with an obsession with margaritas and pizza. While on the run, he jump-starts the fad of mutton chops in Victorian-Era England and jump-starts Wolfgang Puck's career. Meanwhile, Icheb learns the value of teamwork and togetherness.
The Enterprise encounters a strange blue box floating in space. Upon further examination, it appears to be a 20th century Police box. A strangely dressed man appears from within and causes all sorts of havoc, using his sonic screwdriver to give Data emotions, and mistaking Picard for Davros.
On the plus side, he buggers off with Wesley Crusher, so hopefully we'll never see him again.
On the plus side, he buggers off with Wesley Crusher, so hopefully we'll never see him again.
This sounds like a fantastic idea for an episode!
For The Plot Is Hollow, And Our Writer Is Pretty High (TNG)
Data and a random ensign are riding the turbolift when a cascading power failure knocks out a series of random systems including the turbolift. Data and the ensign stand in awkward silence for the duration of the episode while the writer completely forgets about the existence of the other characters.
Data and a random ensign are riding the turbolift when a cascading power failure knocks out a series of random systems including the turbolift. Data and the ensign stand in awkward silence for the duration of the episode while the writer completely forgets about the existence of the other characters.
When in Rome - VGR
Voyager accidentally goes through a temporal rift and ends up in orbit of Earth. In the 1st century.
Hilarity ensues.
Voyager accidentally goes through a temporal rift and ends up in orbit of Earth. In the 1st century.
Hilarity ensues.
A sequel to "Patterns of Force". A year after the events of "Patterns", Zeon and Ekos have made peace with each other and have healed old wounds. The planet of Ekos commemorates this event with a ceremony, to which James T. Kirk, as one of the principals who helped bring about the end to the conlict between the two worlds, is invited as a guest of honor.
Unfortunately, on the way to Ekos the Enterprise encounters an ion storm, and Kirk receives a severe concussion when turbulence throws him to the deck. He is laid up in sickbay with his head swaddled in bandages. It is decided that Spock will take his place at the Ekosian ceremony.
However, Kirk, sneaks out of sickbay, and despite not being fully coherent, beams down to Ekos before anyone realizes he's gone. He arrives at the ceremony dedicating a new peace between the two planets and turns it into a comic fiasco when he won't stop mentioning the war (the recent conflict between Ekos and Zeon). His antics culminate in a tasteless impersonation of former deputy Fuhrer Melakon.
Sample dialogue:
EKOSIAN DIGNITARY: Will you please stop mentioning the war?
KIRK: Well, you people started it!
EKOSIAN DIGNITARY: We did not start it!
KIRK: Yes you did, you invaded Zeon!
Finally Spock realizes what has happened and arrives in time to rescue Kirk and attempt to salvage the Federation's reputation. On seeing his first officer, Kirk says "Ah, there you are Spock! Now, just remember these are Ekosians so don't mention the war! I slipped up and mentioned it a couple of times, but I think I got away with it."
As Kirk and Spock beam up back to the ship, an Ekosian leader shakes his head and asks "However did they win?"
Unfortunately, on the way to Ekos the Enterprise encounters an ion storm, and Kirk receives a severe concussion when turbulence throws him to the deck. He is laid up in sickbay with his head swaddled in bandages. It is decided that Spock will take his place at the Ekosian ceremony.
However, Kirk, sneaks out of sickbay, and despite not being fully coherent, beams down to Ekos before anyone realizes he's gone. He arrives at the ceremony dedicating a new peace between the two planets and turns it into a comic fiasco when he won't stop mentioning the war (the recent conflict between Ekos and Zeon). His antics culminate in a tasteless impersonation of former deputy Fuhrer Melakon.
Sample dialogue:
EKOSIAN DIGNITARY: Will you please stop mentioning the war?
KIRK: Well, you people started it!
EKOSIAN DIGNITARY: We did not start it!
KIRK: Yes you did, you invaded Zeon!
Finally Spock realizes what has happened and arrives in time to rescue Kirk and attempt to salvage the Federation's reputation. On seeing his first officer, Kirk says "Ah, there you are Spock! Now, just remember these are Ekosians so don't mention the war! I slipped up and mentioned it a couple of times, but I think I got away with it."
As Kirk and Spock beam up back to the ship, an Ekosian leader shakes his head and asks "However did they win?"
"Let's Do It Again" (TNG)
A sequel to "A Piece of The Action" where we find out that the Sigma Iotians have made their own Federation, based on the TOS era. Of course, the Morally Superior Federation can't have any of that monkey business, so they send the Enterprise, and Captain Picard gives some speech about how religion sucks and you should never brush your teeth with peanut butter, and the Sigma-Iotians swear to change their ways. Meanwhile, Wesely discovers the that the Holodeck is incapable of simulating sex, and hangs himself.
A sequel to "A Piece of The Action" where we find out that the Sigma Iotians have made their own Federation, based on the TOS era. Of course, the Morally Superior Federation can't have any of that monkey business, so they send the Enterprise, and Captain Picard gives some speech about how religion sucks and you should never brush your teeth with peanut butter, and the Sigma-Iotians swear to change their ways. Meanwhile, Wesely discovers the that the Holodeck is incapable of simulating sex, and hangs himself.
hellsgate
Commodore
"Star Trek: Exeter"
"The Distance Between Two Points"
Captain Kirk & his X.O., Thomas Riker, encounter a virus (very much like the one encountered by an inebriated Wesley aboard the Enterprise-D,) that projects resident Vulcans' "Ponn Farr" via out of control telepathy of Betazoids, Vulcans and other mildly psionic species onto the rest of the crew. Hilarity ensues.
"The Distance Between Two Points"
Captain Kirk & his X.O., Thomas Riker, encounter a virus (very much like the one encountered by an inebriated Wesley aboard the Enterprise-D,) that projects resident Vulcans' "Ponn Farr" via out of control telepathy of Betazoids, Vulcans and other mildly psionic species onto the rest of the crew. Hilarity ensues.
That title is ace, though.
"I'm My Own Grandpa" (TNG)
Q pays a visit to the Enterprise once more. But this time, he sends Picard back in time to La Barre, France. He gives Picard the chance to have a family as a younger man, something he never had as a lonely starship captain. After much convincing (along with a full head of hair), and hooking him up with a beautiful lady, Picard acquiesces and decides to go with the flow. His first son is born and he decides to name him after his father (from his life back when he was a Starship captain). At that point, Q returns with applause and congratulates Picard on having become his own grandfather.
Q pays a visit to the Enterprise once more. But this time, he sends Picard back in time to La Barre, France. He gives Picard the chance to have a family as a younger man, something he never had as a lonely starship captain. After much convincing (along with a full head of hair), and hooking him up with a beautiful lady, Picard acquiesces and decides to go with the flow. His first son is born and he decides to name him after his father (from his life back when he was a Starship captain). At that point, Q returns with applause and congratulates Picard on having become his own grandfather.
The Rubble with Tribbles
At last we find the home planet of the Tribbles. We Think. But when a redshirt cuts himself, we learn the truth about the creatures - they are madly carnivorous. The away team are soon trapped in the wreckage of a building belonging to the former inhabitants of the planet, with a mountain of tribbles pressing to get in and devour them...
"Ten Meters! That's inside the perimeter!!"
"That's in the room.. The scanner must be wrong..."
A redshirt stands on a table and lifts the drop cieling.... "BEEDIEBEE!BEEDIEBEE!!"
At last we find the home planet of the Tribbles. We Think. But when a redshirt cuts himself, we learn the truth about the creatures - they are madly carnivorous. The away team are soon trapped in the wreckage of a building belonging to the former inhabitants of the planet, with a mountain of tribbles pressing to get in and devour them...
"Ten Meters! That's inside the perimeter!!"
"That's in the room.. The scanner must be wrong..."
A redshirt stands on a table and lifts the drop cieling.... "BEEDIEBEE!BEEDIEBEE!!"
"Is Anyone Watching?" (VOY)... They fly around and do stuff.
"Why Are We Never on the Station?" (DS9)... Something weird happens and the wormhole turns pink. But why!?
"Can We Do That?" (ENT)... They do stuff that shouldn't be happening till many years later but no one seems to enter it into the history books.
"We're Screwed!" (TNG)... The Enterprise-D get's bitch slapped by a weaker foe, but why is the weaker foe still kicking their butt?
"Bootylicious" (TOS)... Beyonce gets transported into the future and 'gets to know' Capt Kirk while something important happens to old Earth history.
"Why Are We Never on the Station?" (DS9)... Something weird happens and the wormhole turns pink. But why!?
"Can We Do That?" (ENT)... They do stuff that shouldn't be happening till many years later but no one seems to enter it into the history books.
"We're Screwed!" (TNG)... The Enterprise-D get's bitch slapped by a weaker foe, but why is the weaker foe still kicking their butt?
"Bootylicious" (TOS)... Beyonce gets transported into the future and 'gets to know' Capt Kirk while something important happens to old Earth history.
Ditto
Brilliant Only if he ends up on an episode of the Jeremy Kyle (played by Guinan)show afterwards ~ actually I'm sure I've seen that title on there